Iron Man Fic: A List of Times Tony and Pepper Saved Each Other
title: A List of Times Tony and Pepper Saved Each Other
author: crumpled_up
disclaimer: Iron Man belongs to Marvel. No profit is made from this, only love and flail.
rating: PG
word count: 1300
characters/pairing: Tony/Pepper
spoilers: IRON MAN 3 SPOILERS
summary: Who really had whom first?
A/N: A product of my sleep deprived brain. Enjoy.
It started innocently enough. A few things scribbled down on a piece of paper. No big deal, right?
---
Tony's List (in no particular order):
1. I put the suit on her when my mansion blew up.
2. That one time she nearly tumbled down the stairs when drunk, but I caught her. Nearly broke my neck doing that, but I'm willing to be a cushion to save her precious shoes.
3. Took that last glass of wine out of her hands before she did something she'd regret.
4. When Stane...
4. Stole her away for a dance when some creep was totally hitting on her at one of those fancy events.
5. That fucktard Vanko/Whiplash tried to blow the entire Expo to hell. (The kiss afterwards was SO worth it.)
6. Brought chicken noodle soup to her when she was sick that one rare day.
7. I even stocked the kitchen with that god awful tea she likes just for those sick days and the days she decides that being a screeching banshee will get me to do everything on her little To Do list. Yes, that totally counts.
8. Um... I swear there's more than this. Dammit.
---
Until Pepper got a hold of it. And fixed it.
Then put up her own list.
---
Pepper's List (in order):
2. 1. That one time she nearly tumbled down the stairs when drunk, but I caught her. Nearly broke my neck doing that, but I'm willing to be a cushion to save her precious shoes. I was not drunk. You left a wrench out, which I tripped over, and I nearly landed on my face. Nearly broke my heels, too. Bastard.
2. Every single time I took out the trash.
3. Every time I spun a story to cover his ass.
6. 4. Brought chicken noodle soup to her when she was sick that one rare day. Telling Happy to pick some up and drop it off at my place does not count, Tony.
7. 5. I even stocked the kitchen with that god awful tea she likes just for those sick days and the days she decides that being a screeching banshee will get me to do everything on her little To Do list. Yes, that totally counts. Ginger tea is soothing. And it's called PMS for a reason.
4. 6. Stole her away for a dance when some creep was totally hitting on her at one of those fancy events. He was actually an important creep, but yes, he was a total creep.
7. Scared off a stalker. Okay, quite a few stalkers.
8. Stopped him from causing a scene at big events. For the most part. (The Birthday Party from Hell does not count.)
9. Held him up when he nearly tumbled down the stairs after he broke his leg.
3. 10. Took that last glass of wine out of her hands before she did something she'd regret. Then you drank it.
11. The time I changed out the RT and had that smelly goop on my hands.
4. When Stane...
12. I killed Stane. (And almost killed Tony, too.)
13. Patched him up after each mission.
5. 14. That fucktard Vanko/Whiplash tried to blow the entire Expo to hell. (The kiss afterwards was SO worth it.) The next time you whisk me away with the suit, warn me. Or no more kisses.
1. 15. I put the suit on her when my mansion blew up. Which wouldn't have happened if you agreed to leave when I said so.
16. After he put the suit on me, I saved him from the collapsing ceiling falling onto him.
17. I killed Killian.
8. 18. Um... I swear there's more than this. Dammit. Yes, there is. I saved your ass more, just admit it.
---
Which displeased Tony. So he did it his way.
---
Tony & Pepper's List Of Saving The World
(which used to be Tony's List, which Pepper then corrected and modified to state the truth, but really she's exaggerating too, and now it's a weird hybrid of both)
Pepper's List (in order):
2. 1. That one time she nearly tumbled down the stairs when drunk, but I caught her. Nearly broke my neck doing that, but I'm willing to be a cushion to save her precious shoes. I was not drunk. You left a wrench out, which I tripped over, and I nearly landed on my face. Nearly broke my heels, too. Bastard. You were so drunk! No I wasn't! YOU were the drunk one. That was my first week on the job.
2. Every single time I took out the trash. Does that really count as saving? Yes. Yes, it does.
3. Every time I spun a story to cover his ass. You can cover my ass anytime you'd like, sweetheart. Shut up. Make me.
6. 4. Brought chicken noodle soup to her when she was sick that one rare day. Telling Happy to pick some up and drop it off at my place does not count, Tony. It does so if I'm the one that told Happy to pick up the order, which I placed myself. With the help of Jarvis.
7. 5. I even stocked the kitchen with that god awful tea she likes just for those sick days and the days she decides that being a screeching banshee will get me to do everything on her little To Do list. Yes, that totally counts. Ginger tea is soothing. And it's called PMS for a reason. TMI!!!
4. 6. Stole her away for a dance when some creep was totally hitting on her at one of those fancy events. He was actually an important creep, but yes, he was a total creep.
7. Scared off a stalker. Okay, quite a few stalkers. Becuase you're one scary bitch. I say that with all the love in the world. Thank you.
8. Stopped him from causing a scene at big events. For the most part. (The Birthday Party from Hell does not count.) Which one? You know the one. It will never happen again. I only need you. Can we finally take that trip to Venice?! I'll think about it. Think faster. Or I'll get Jarvis to plan it.
9. Held him up when he nearly tumbled down the stairs after he broke his leg. That was a bitch. It would've been better if you didn't take your pain pills and drink alcohol at the same time. I needed double numbing after all that.
3. 10. Took that last glass of wine out of her hands before she did something she'd regret. Then you drank it. It was delicious.
11. The time I changed out the RT and had that smelly goop on my hands. Plasmic discharge. It wasn't so bad, right? Compared to everything that's happened since then, no.
4. When Stane...
12. I killed Stane. (And almost killed Tony, too.) That wasn't on you, Pepper. And I'm here. I'm alive. I know.
13. Patched him up after each mission. It hurt like hell. Would it kill you to say thank you once in a while? I didn't? Well then, thank you, Pepper. You deserve all the thanks in the world. Better.
5. 14. That fucktard Vanko/Whiplash tried to blow the entire Expo to hell. (The kiss afterwards was SO worth it.) The next time you whisk me away with the suit, warn me. Or no more kisses. :( You're killing me here, Potts.
1. 15. I put the suit on her when my mansion blew up. Which wouldn't have happened if you agreed to leave when I said so. Are you STILL hung up on that? We ended up leaving anyway. Because we had no choice! The mansion BLEW. UP.
16. After he put the suit on me, I saved him from the collapsing ceiling falling onto him. I still got you first.
17. I killed Killian. More like blew him up. And looked damn hot doing it. Rrrrowr.
8. 18. Um... I swear there's more than this. Dammit. Yes, there is. I saved your ass more, just admit it. Oh please. It's true.
19. I ♥ U
20. I ♥ you too.
author: crumpled_up
disclaimer: Iron Man belongs to Marvel. No profit is made from this, only love and flail.
rating: PG
word count: 1300
characters/pairing: Tony/Pepper
spoilers: IRON MAN 3 SPOILERS
summary: Who really had whom first?
A/N: A product of my sleep deprived brain. Enjoy.
It started innocently enough. A few things scribbled down on a piece of paper. No big deal, right?
---
Tony's List (in no particular order):
1. I put the suit on her when my mansion blew up.
2. That one time she nearly tumbled down the stairs when drunk, but I caught her. Nearly broke my neck doing that, but I'm willing to be a cushion to save her precious shoes.
3. Took that last glass of wine out of her hands before she did something she'd regret.
4. When Stane...
4. Stole her away for a dance when some creep was totally hitting on her at one of those fancy events.
5. That fucktard Vanko/Whiplash tried to blow the entire Expo to hell. (The kiss afterwards was SO worth it.)
6. Brought chicken noodle soup to her when she was sick that one rare day.
7. I even stocked the kitchen with that god awful tea she likes just for those sick days and the days she decides that being a screeching banshee will get me to do everything on her little To Do list. Yes, that totally counts.
8. Um... I swear there's more than this. Dammit.
---
Until Pepper got a hold of it. And fixed it.
Then put up her own list.
---
Pepper's List (in order):
2. 1. That one time she nearly tumbled down the stairs when drunk, but I caught her. Nearly broke my neck doing that, but I'm willing to be a cushion to save her precious shoes. I was not drunk. You left a wrench out, which I tripped over, and I nearly landed on my face. Nearly broke my heels, too. Bastard.
2. Every single time I took out the trash.
3. Every time I spun a story to cover his ass.
6. 4. Brought chicken noodle soup to her when she was sick that one rare day. Telling Happy to pick some up and drop it off at my place does not count, Tony.
7. 5. I even stocked the kitchen with that god awful tea she likes just for those sick days and the days she decides that being a screeching banshee will get me to do everything on her little To Do list. Yes, that totally counts. Ginger tea is soothing. And it's called PMS for a reason.
4. 6. Stole her away for a dance when some creep was totally hitting on her at one of those fancy events. He was actually an important creep, but yes, he was a total creep.
7. Scared off a stalker. Okay, quite a few stalkers.
8. Stopped him from causing a scene at big events. For the most part. (The Birthday Party from Hell does not count.)
9. Held him up when he nearly tumbled down the stairs after he broke his leg.
3. 10. Took that last glass of wine out of her hands before she did something she'd regret. Then you drank it.
11. The time I changed out the RT and had that smelly goop on my hands.
4. When Stane...
12. I killed Stane. (And almost killed Tony, too.)
13. Patched him up after each mission.
5. 14. That fucktard Vanko/Whiplash tried to blow the entire Expo to hell. (The kiss afterwards was SO worth it.) The next time you whisk me away with the suit, warn me. Or no more kisses.
1. 15. I put the suit on her when my mansion blew up. Which wouldn't have happened if you agreed to leave when I said so.
16. After he put the suit on me, I saved him from the collapsing ceiling falling onto him.
17. I killed Killian.
8. 18. Um... I swear there's more than this. Dammit. Yes, there is. I saved your ass more, just admit it.
---
Which displeased Tony. So he did it his way.
---
Tony & Pepper's List Of Saving The World
(which used to be Tony's List, which Pepper then corrected and modified to state the truth, but really she's exaggerating too, and now it's a weird hybrid of both)
Pepper's List (in order):
2. 1. That one time she nearly tumbled down the stairs when drunk, but I caught her. Nearly broke my neck doing that, but I'm willing to be a cushion to save her precious shoes. I was not drunk. You left a wrench out, which I tripped over, and I nearly landed on my face. Nearly broke my heels, too. Bastard. You were so drunk! No I wasn't! YOU were the drunk one. That was my first week on the job.
2. Every single time I took out the trash. Does that really count as saving? Yes. Yes, it does.
3. Every time I spun a story to cover his ass. You can cover my ass anytime you'd like, sweetheart. Shut up. Make me.
6. 4. Brought chicken noodle soup to her when she was sick that one rare day. Telling Happy to pick some up and drop it off at my place does not count, Tony. It does so if I'm the one that told Happy to pick up the order, which I placed myself. With the help of Jarvis.
7. 5. I even stocked the kitchen with that god awful tea she likes just for those sick days and the days she decides that being a screeching banshee will get me to do everything on her little To Do list. Yes, that totally counts. Ginger tea is soothing. And it's called PMS for a reason. TMI!!!
4. 6. Stole her away for a dance when some creep was totally hitting on her at one of those fancy events. He was actually an important creep, but yes, he was a total creep.
7. Scared off a stalker. Okay, quite a few stalkers. Becuase you're one scary bitch. I say that with all the love in the world. Thank you.
8. Stopped him from causing a scene at big events. For the most part. (The Birthday Party from Hell does not count.) Which one? You know the one. It will never happen again. I only need you. Can we finally take that trip to Venice?! I'll think about it. Think faster. Or I'll get Jarvis to plan it.
9. Held him up when he nearly tumbled down the stairs after he broke his leg. That was a bitch. It would've been better if you didn't take your pain pills and drink alcohol at the same time. I needed double numbing after all that.
3. 10. Took that last glass of wine out of her hands before she did something she'd regret. Then you drank it. It was delicious.
11. The time I changed out the RT and had that smelly goop on my hands. Plasmic discharge. It wasn't so bad, right? Compared to everything that's happened since then, no.
4. When Stane...
12. I killed Stane. (And almost killed Tony, too.) That wasn't on you, Pepper. And I'm here. I'm alive. I know.
13. Patched him up after each mission. It hurt like hell. Would it kill you to say thank you once in a while? I didn't? Well then, thank you, Pepper. You deserve all the thanks in the world. Better.
5. 14. That fucktard Vanko/Whiplash tried to blow the entire Expo to hell. (The kiss afterwards was SO worth it.) The next time you whisk me away with the suit, warn me. Or no more kisses. :( You're killing me here, Potts.
1. 15. I put the suit on her when my mansion blew up. Which wouldn't have happened if you agreed to leave when I said so. Are you STILL hung up on that? We ended up leaving anyway. Because we had no choice! The mansion BLEW. UP.
16. After he put the suit on me, I saved him from the collapsing ceiling falling onto him. I still got you first.
17. I killed Killian. More like blew him up. And looked damn hot doing it. Rrrrowr.
8. 18. Um... I swear there's more than this. Dammit. Yes, there is. I saved your ass more, just admit it. Oh please. It's true.
19. I ♥ U
20. I ♥ you too.