Body swap en masse
anonymous
June 18 2011, 17:00:10 UTC
Cue crazy magical boom. Everybody swaps body in the funniest, craziest manner and each of them are struggling to cope or taking full advantage of it
For example: Isabela in Sebastian's body, eager to get naked to see what is under the shiny armour Sebastian in f!Hawke's body trailing after Isabela to make sure she doesn't debauch his body.
Fenris in Anders', having to deal with magic and Justice. Anders in Carver's attempting to teach Fenris how not to torch the place down and to learn not to lob someone's head off with the massive sword
Merrill in Varric's, feeling both amused and disturbed by the company that the dwarf keeps Varric in Aveline's doing his best to protect Daisy from the rabid mob
Aveline in Isabela's oh-so-lush booty, discovering the awesome power of feminine wiles
Carver in Merrill's body, getting an understanding what it is to have magic Hawke in Fenris', probably getting high from all that lyrium
All slash, pairings, orgies and genre welcomed! Different swaps also welcomed :)
Re: Everyone/Everyone "Sometimes these things just happen?" 6/?
anonymous
June 19 2011, 11:19:40 UTC
HAHAHA! Author!Anon will you marry me? Seriously though, this is hilarious! Fenris with a full head, Anders "sleeping" with Sebastian, Merril flexing in front of the mirror! Maker, I think my head may explode! I'll be here, eagerly awaiting more.
Re: Everyone/Everyone "Sometimes these things just happen?" 6/?
anonymous
June 19 2011, 13:21:54 UTC
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I JUST PEED MY PAJAMAS LAUGHING
I LOVE THIS FIC AND THE AUTHOR!ANON AND OMG EVERYTHING IS RAINBOWS AND BUTTERFLIES AND THE SWEET SWEET SCHADENFREUDE OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO *offers plates of cookies, babies and the whole Internet to auth!anon*
Re: Everyone/Everyone "Sometimes these things just happen?" 7/?
anonymous
June 19 2011, 15:53:02 UTC
Somehow the best decision they could come up with amongst themselves was to stay put at Hawke’s house until help arrived. Or, at least, until Hawke came back in whatever body she might happen to be wearing at the time and Aveline could strangle her to death
( ... )
Re: Everyone/Everyone "Sometimes these things just happen?" 8/?
anonymous
June 19 2011, 15:58:47 UTC
It had taken him a little while to understand that somehow, some way, he’d ended up in Sebastian’s body.
At least he thought it was Sebastian’s. Anders was pretty sure, as no one else in Kirkwall would be naïve enough to wear Andraste’s face over his crotch (except maybe Merrill, but since she was a crazy blood mage who thought demons were our friends, he considered that sort of unlikely). And no one else was stupid enough to wear shining white armor that said to the enemy, clearly, “shoot me!”
But the arms weren’t his. The legs weren’t his. The feet weren’t his, and when he took a good long look down the front of his pants - nope, that wasn’t his either. And he should know. Ever since he’d met Hawke, he and his dick had become very good friends
( ... )
Oh my god you guys, I don't even know what this is, but THANK YOU FOR LOVING IT ANYWAY!
I have no idea where this story is going since I've never started posting one before it was entirely finished, but I'll be updating this as quickly as possible (what to do with a free Sunday, a case of beer and a laptop? Obvious conclusion - write DA2 crackfic!).
The real question is - how do we all feel about a lot of random porn?
Re: Everyone/Everyone "Sometimes these things just happen?" 9/?
anonymous
June 19 2011, 16:30:32 UTC
There was just so much to do. Isabela didn’t know how she would remotely ever have time for it all.
Obviously the most sensible thing to do was to make herself a checklist. Varric would have been proud.
First things first, wander around shirtless. That, at least, was already being done. The bar wenches had swooned at the mighty expanse of chest hair that had burst free of the restraints of clothing with manly aplomb. Corff had turned green. Probably with envy.
Second, provide illustrations and creative editing for all of Varric’s upcoming novels. The dwarf had a severe, almost terminal really, lack of the words throbbing and pulsating in his work. Everyone knew pulsating could be used to fill up any plot hole
( ... )
Re: Everyone/Everyone "Sometimes these things just happen?" 10/?
anonymous
June 19 2011, 17:08:03 UTC
It wasn’t that she didn’t like being Merrill. Really.
Hawke had always been a little curious of what it would be like to be an elf - especially what with those ears being all pointy and sensitive. She got a great deal of amusement out of making Fenris’ eyes cross when she licked and nibbled his, but in that regard human ears were sadly deficient.
So the ears were fine. She could keep the ears. She did, however, miss her breasts. And her hips.
And her ass. She always complained about her ass before, but faced with Merrill’s lithe and slender body she felt a distinct lack. She missed it. She wanted to write it letters.
Actually, what she really wanted was to get it back, but since she had no idea how to fucking do that, she might just have to settle for love notes
( ... )
For example:
Isabela in Sebastian's body, eager to get naked to see what is under the shiny armour
Sebastian in f!Hawke's body trailing after Isabela to make sure she doesn't debauch his body.
Fenris in Anders', having to deal with magic and Justice.
Anders in Carver's attempting to teach Fenris how not to torch the place down and to learn not to lob someone's head off with the massive sword
Merrill in Varric's, feeling both amused and disturbed by the company that the dwarf keeps
Varric in Aveline's doing his best to protect Daisy from the rabid mob
Aveline in Isabela's oh-so-lush booty, discovering the awesome power of feminine wiles
Carver in Merrill's body, getting an understanding what it is to have magic
Hawke in Fenris', probably getting high from all that lyrium
All slash, pairings, orgies and genre welcomed! Different swaps also welcomed :)
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Reply
I LOVE THIS FIC AND THE AUTHOR!ANON AND OMG EVERYTHING IS RAINBOWS AND BUTTERFLIES AND THE SWEET SWEET SCHADENFREUDE OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO *offers plates of cookies, babies and the whole Internet to auth!anon*
Reply
Reply
At least he thought it was Sebastian’s. Anders was pretty sure, as no one else in Kirkwall would be naïve enough to wear Andraste’s face over his crotch (except maybe Merrill, but since she was a crazy blood mage who thought demons were our friends, he considered that sort of unlikely). And no one else was stupid enough to wear shining white armor that said to the enemy, clearly, “shoot me!”
But the arms weren’t his. The legs weren’t his. The feet weren’t his, and when he took a good long look down the front of his pants - nope, that wasn’t his either. And he should know. Ever since he’d met Hawke, he and his dick had become very good friends ( ... )
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I have no idea where this story is going since I've never started posting one before it was entirely finished, but I'll be updating this as quickly as possible (what to do with a free Sunday, a case of beer and a laptop? Obvious conclusion - write DA2 crackfic!).
The real question is - how do we all feel about a lot of random porn?
Reply
Give to us the random porn!
And the crack. Don't skimp on the crack.
Crack and porn. That's all I'm saying.
Reply
Reply
Random porn would be awesome. The more the better.
Reply
This is beyond OP's hopes and expectations, and she loves it to bits! OP will buy you more beer if she could! ♥
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Excellent fic anon, and random porn is the best porn.
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Obviously the most sensible thing to do was to make herself a checklist. Varric would have been proud.
First things first, wander around shirtless. That, at least, was already being done. The bar wenches had swooned at the mighty expanse of chest hair that had burst free of the restraints of clothing with manly aplomb. Corff had turned green. Probably with envy.
Second, provide illustrations and creative editing for all of Varric’s upcoming novels. The dwarf had a severe, almost terminal really, lack of the words throbbing and pulsating in his work. Everyone knew pulsating could be used to fill up any plot hole ( ... )
Reply
Reply
Hawke had always been a little curious of what it would be like to be an elf - especially what with those ears being all pointy and sensitive. She got a great deal of amusement out of making Fenris’ eyes cross when she licked and nibbled his, but in that regard human ears were sadly deficient.
So the ears were fine. She could keep the ears. She did, however, miss her breasts. And her hips.
And her ass. She always complained about her ass before, but faced with Merrill’s lithe and slender body she felt a distinct lack. She missed it. She wanted to write it letters.
Actually, what she really wanted was to get it back, but since she had no idea how to fucking do that, she might just have to settle for love notes ( ... )
Reply
Brava, writer anon.
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