(no subject)
I am a talented man. Only I could piss of two of my closest friends in a single day. I wonder if this is marketable? More on this later.
Friday was a novel day. I was asked, instead of going to the usual college campus if I could work on one of the alternative campus, as one of the guys I work with hasn't been in all week (Supposedly ill, but we all know his wife has just walked out on him with his son, poor bastard).
So, I was told I was supporting a kid called John in a mainstream class who was dyslexic. Hey, great. This should be a pretty easy day-I normally work with kids who are quite disabled! Unfortunately, on my instructions, it mentions he was in a huge fight with another kid just before Christmas over who was to get support, had been constantly walking out of college all week and I was supposed to keep them apart, or else...
And, of course, when I get to the college (at the time specified, but nearly 2 hours early for when this kid's classes start), I discover he's not dyslexic at all-he's got bloody Asperger's Syndrome! (A milder form of autism, if you don't know). A slight miscommunication, there, non?
Luckily, when I met the kid, he was perfectly "normal". OK, you can easily see the signs of Aspergers in him, but he's got quite a mild form-it's not really debilitating at all. What was debilitating the kid was the fact that the boy he'd strangled (not punched-strangled!) had been off college ever since, and the rest of the class had completely shunned him since-even his friends.
Wonderful-especially given that Aspergers often carries with it a kind of paranoia-they often feel that people are "out to get them". Spent an hour just chatting to the kid, basically letting him whine away about all his problems-he needed to! First lesson was us, sitting on the computers well away from everyone else totally isolated for an hour and a half, and just us two sitting together at break.
Poor kid was so lonely, he was virtually clutching at my hand the whole time.
Fucked if I was going to let that carry on.
Cue the Dave total irreverance...
Didn't take much. Just get the whole class on my side with some clowning around and performing, then kind of introduce him into to and shift their attention to him. A quick word in his ear to apologise to them for scaring them, and...
By lunchtime (a 2 hour break. A TWO HOUR BREAK!), I had him in town, with about half his class, all of them laughing and joking with him. I even had him chatting to the guy he strangled on the phone-the guy who said he would never have anything to do with him again (accomplished by when this guy rang his girlfriend, just relieving her of the phone , randomly starting chatting to him although he's never met me, then passing the phone to John when I had the guy in a good mood)
Even I was amazed how easily it worked. Once I had everyone in a good mood and had brought John in, I was slowly withdrawing from the group and conversation, just letting him get back in. Walking back to the college, he never even said a word to me-he was off in the middle of the group, laughing and joking.
Sorted him out in a day-something the teachers hadn't been able to do for weeks. You see? This is why I hate the enforced partition between staff and students-you can't just reach down like some benevolant God from your place on high, stir your hand around a bit and fix these kids up-you've got to get down with them and involve yourself.
"Keep a professional difference, don't get personal" ??
Bollocks to that. You're working with people, and are involved in people's lives. How else can you deal with that but to get personal?
I've also suggested to my boss back at the campus he come down and give the cass a talk on exactly what Asperger's Syndrome is-chatting to them, I was sickened. They have no idea what it is-they thought Asperger's was a violent disease-that it meant he was likely to lash out at any moment without provocation. No wonder they were all too scared to talk to him!
Did the best I could explaining it, and they seemed quite shocked, but I think a proper talk could help. The teachers agreed. However, they're going to be quite pissed when they find out that I've also recommended they all be included in the talk ;) Some of the things there were telling me before I met the kid-they have no idea what is wrong with him, or how to deal with it either in an educational or social context. They don't know how to teach him, or how to include him. And he only has mild Aspergers, for God's sake! You'd not even know-just that he seemed a little weird!
*rant over*
Righty. Pissed off two people yesterday. Was drunk off my skull last night and chatting to a lass I know online. She said something like
"Yeah, you've got lots of friends, but we're your bestest pals, right?"
And I saw the opportunity to say something rather dramatic and beautiful. For me (hey, for most of us), I'm really selective who I call my "friend". It's a big thing for me. Now I know a lot of people, and still see tons of them, but I've really only got the one group of friends.So I replied that no, that wasn't true, and stuck adamantly to it, even when she stared getting quiote offended and pissed off. Then I said something like:
"You've got it backwards, honey. I know a lot of people, but they're all just the pals. You all are my friends, the only people I care about enough and feel close enough to call my friends".
Something like that, thinking it was a lush thing to say.
She didn't agree. I spent the next half hour trying to get off the hook. *sigh*
Also pissed off Jeff. Randomly, out of the blue, he phoned yesterday and just splurted out that all the students he's living with are leaving the house this June, and he's thinking of moving back to Cardiff and wants to know will I share a house with him-just me and him.
Argh!
Now, I know if I don't, he'll have to go home, and he despises his parents, so I don't want him to do that. But it's a hell of a thing to think about. And I just knew that he wanted me to say yes there and then on the phone-in fact, he hadn't even considered the possibility I might say no!
I stalled, and it hurt him.
OK, it would be brilliant! It'd be our house, mine and his. I'd be well away from my wench of a mum and finally have some freedom. We get on great, and it'd be brill to have some company. All our mates would always be over, dossing around, not to mention the fact I might be able to start brinigng lasses back without them being freaked out by my scary mum.
But it's gonna cost a lot more that what it costs me staying at home, and I'm still really crap with monthly pay! Plus, what if I get serious with someone and want to move out? He'll be totally fucked! Or, what if he and his girlfriend want to get a place in a year? I'll be fucked, and no way mum'll let me back in if I leave!
So I stalled, said I needed to think about it.
And now he's well pissed off.
Nothing's ever simple. :P
Sidethought-think I'll LJ cut all that. Stupid mammoth entries.
Friday was a novel day. I was asked, instead of going to the usual college campus if I could work on one of the alternative campus, as one of the guys I work with hasn't been in all week (Supposedly ill, but we all know his wife has just walked out on him with his son, poor bastard).
So, I was told I was supporting a kid called John in a mainstream class who was dyslexic. Hey, great. This should be a pretty easy day-I normally work with kids who are quite disabled! Unfortunately, on my instructions, it mentions he was in a huge fight with another kid just before Christmas over who was to get support, had been constantly walking out of college all week and I was supposed to keep them apart, or else...
And, of course, when I get to the college (at the time specified, but nearly 2 hours early for when this kid's classes start), I discover he's not dyslexic at all-he's got bloody Asperger's Syndrome! (A milder form of autism, if you don't know). A slight miscommunication, there, non?
Luckily, when I met the kid, he was perfectly "normal". OK, you can easily see the signs of Aspergers in him, but he's got quite a mild form-it's not really debilitating at all. What was debilitating the kid was the fact that the boy he'd strangled (not punched-strangled!) had been off college ever since, and the rest of the class had completely shunned him since-even his friends.
Wonderful-especially given that Aspergers often carries with it a kind of paranoia-they often feel that people are "out to get them". Spent an hour just chatting to the kid, basically letting him whine away about all his problems-he needed to! First lesson was us, sitting on the computers well away from everyone else totally isolated for an hour and a half, and just us two sitting together at break.
Poor kid was so lonely, he was virtually clutching at my hand the whole time.
Fucked if I was going to let that carry on.
Cue the Dave total irreverance...
Didn't take much. Just get the whole class on my side with some clowning around and performing, then kind of introduce him into to and shift their attention to him. A quick word in his ear to apologise to them for scaring them, and...
By lunchtime (a 2 hour break. A TWO HOUR BREAK!), I had him in town, with about half his class, all of them laughing and joking with him. I even had him chatting to the guy he strangled on the phone-the guy who said he would never have anything to do with him again (accomplished by when this guy rang his girlfriend, just relieving her of the phone , randomly starting chatting to him although he's never met me, then passing the phone to John when I had the guy in a good mood)
Even I was amazed how easily it worked. Once I had everyone in a good mood and had brought John in, I was slowly withdrawing from the group and conversation, just letting him get back in. Walking back to the college, he never even said a word to me-he was off in the middle of the group, laughing and joking.
Sorted him out in a day-something the teachers hadn't been able to do for weeks. You see? This is why I hate the enforced partition between staff and students-you can't just reach down like some benevolant God from your place on high, stir your hand around a bit and fix these kids up-you've got to get down with them and involve yourself.
"Keep a professional difference, don't get personal" ??
Bollocks to that. You're working with people, and are involved in people's lives. How else can you deal with that but to get personal?
I've also suggested to my boss back at the campus he come down and give the cass a talk on exactly what Asperger's Syndrome is-chatting to them, I was sickened. They have no idea what it is-they thought Asperger's was a violent disease-that it meant he was likely to lash out at any moment without provocation. No wonder they were all too scared to talk to him!
Did the best I could explaining it, and they seemed quite shocked, but I think a proper talk could help. The teachers agreed. However, they're going to be quite pissed when they find out that I've also recommended they all be included in the talk ;) Some of the things there were telling me before I met the kid-they have no idea what is wrong with him, or how to deal with it either in an educational or social context. They don't know how to teach him, or how to include him. And he only has mild Aspergers, for God's sake! You'd not even know-just that he seemed a little weird!
*rant over*
Righty. Pissed off two people yesterday. Was drunk off my skull last night and chatting to a lass I know online. She said something like
"Yeah, you've got lots of friends, but we're your bestest pals, right?"
And I saw the opportunity to say something rather dramatic and beautiful. For me (hey, for most of us), I'm really selective who I call my "friend". It's a big thing for me. Now I know a lot of people, and still see tons of them, but I've really only got the one group of friends.So I replied that no, that wasn't true, and stuck adamantly to it, even when she stared getting quiote offended and pissed off. Then I said something like:
"You've got it backwards, honey. I know a lot of people, but they're all just the pals. You all are my friends, the only people I care about enough and feel close enough to call my friends".
Something like that, thinking it was a lush thing to say.
She didn't agree. I spent the next half hour trying to get off the hook. *sigh*
Also pissed off Jeff. Randomly, out of the blue, he phoned yesterday and just splurted out that all the students he's living with are leaving the house this June, and he's thinking of moving back to Cardiff and wants to know will I share a house with him-just me and him.
Argh!
Now, I know if I don't, he'll have to go home, and he despises his parents, so I don't want him to do that. But it's a hell of a thing to think about. And I just knew that he wanted me to say yes there and then on the phone-in fact, he hadn't even considered the possibility I might say no!
I stalled, and it hurt him.
OK, it would be brilliant! It'd be our house, mine and his. I'd be well away from my wench of a mum and finally have some freedom. We get on great, and it'd be brill to have some company. All our mates would always be over, dossing around, not to mention the fact I might be able to start brinigng lasses back without them being freaked out by my scary mum.
But it's gonna cost a lot more that what it costs me staying at home, and I'm still really crap with monthly pay! Plus, what if I get serious with someone and want to move out? He'll be totally fucked! Or, what if he and his girlfriend want to get a place in a year? I'll be fucked, and no way mum'll let me back in if I leave!
So I stalled, said I needed to think about it.
And now he's well pissed off.
Nothing's ever simple. :P
Sidethought-think I'll LJ cut all that. Stupid mammoth entries.