Music box

[dragonkitiara]

I can't hear you. I have my headphones on and I can't hear you. I see your lips moving, slowly, slowly, spelling out your message for me to read. But I can't understand it, I can't understand you

Comments

[daffydoll]

Ahhh, simple yet relatable. Very real. We've all been in this situation.

I also love how it ends, going back to that thought... though now with greater understanding that you are neither hearing nor listening.

However, I think that this could use being elaborated on. Generally I love the flow of your rawest thoughts, but this is perhaps too choppy thought-wise and could use more elaboration. Don't dwell on it, you're the artist.

[dragonkitiara]

Haha, yeah, I wrote this standing in the hallway... Definitely not one of my best pieces, but I still like it ^^

[daffydoll]

Seemed rushed.

But it's worth elaborating on ...it just needs the elaboration.

I like it though. I really like the concept.