someday there'll be a computer program that recognizes songs stuck in my head from melody snippets

[dragonladyflame]

Lots of random stuff to post. This post will be recipes.

Incredibly Awesome and Easy Caramel Brownies

These are seriously almost the best thing I have ever tasted, and the only things that beat them require way more work to make. Apparently they were invented by styletax; I was provided the recipe by igor_47 via cruft2 boxes German chocolate cake mix

Comments

[jonathankorman]

The writers' comments reminds me of a story about Flannery O'Connor's response to a question about whether college writing programs discourage young writers: “Not enough of them.”

One common explanation for reports of men taking a friendly gesture as "she wants me," is based on men's inherent interest in sex, which is thought to result from their biology as well as their upbringing.

As compared to women, who have no inherent interest in sex?

Retch.

wear nothing but sweatshirts and scowl all the time

In your case, I feel confident that this would not diminish the attention you get from fellas.

[dragonladyflame]

Yeah ... I wasn't really happy with the way the study was presented either. Interestingly though, it seemed like the comments from men were less likely to be stuff like "Jeez, this is so sexist and dumb" and more likely to be "That's totally wrong, it's all women's fault!" I'm starting to think that this is the culturally normal masculine response to unfair anti-male sexism (not analysis, but blame). Possibly it's also the culturally normal female response and I'm biased.

[jonathankorman]

I have to admit, I was tickled by the bloke who read the story as “women send unclear signals” rather than “men misinterpret signals.” Seeing these two in parallel makes clear that there's a lot of interpretive space where our preconceptions can creep in to deciding what these studies “mean.”

I don't know that I would call the anti-male bigotry implicit in the “men are obtuse” reading a demonstration of the article's generally anti-male attitude. It is characteristic of our sexist society that anti-female bigotry is invisible while anti-male bigotry is surprising, so this stands out. Rather, I would call this piece of the story one among many facile appeals to gender stereotypes in the article ... stereotypes which of course contribute to what we cranky feminists call “patriarchy,” the system of gender social expectations and enforcement which is unjust to women and men in interlocking but different ways ... which as a feminist I must note is, on balance, categorically more unjust toward women.

this is the culturally normal

[dragonladyflame]

I love this comment, just so you know. I came back to read it again after reading this article: [ http://www.sentientdevelopments.com/2008/04/sorry-ladies-male-birth-control-pill-is.html ]

[fatalconceit]

Oh wow, that Chattanooga resolution is absolutely hilarious. Thanks for posting that!

[burtlo]

I would admit that I was guilty of the first post-food tenant.

It didn't take me long to understand that it was friendly behavior. But there was a time, shortly after, that I remember I did not care if they "liked-liked" me, I wanted to date them so I would proceed on that course.

Nowadays, it seems either I've gotten more accurate or the distinction in the signals are much clearer. Though, I'm apt to believe there is still no helping some... I spent a few days with a guy that suffers from this disorder.

[dragonladyflame]

It seems likely that as you get older and hang out with older women, both sides of the gender equation get better at these things.

[miketodd13]

One of the biggest girl lessons is that men will interpret just about anything as a come-on, so if you want to be careful about not giving the wrong impression, you have to practically act like an ice queen.

I have a female friend who is both attractive, and very outgoing and kind to people. She seems to have this problem all the time -- she shows kindness to a guy, and he thinks she's interested in him.

Personally, I'm the opposite, though. I don't realize I have been hit on for hours or days afterward, if at all. As one example, someone was apparently interested in me for over a year. She later told me this, and I was genuinely surprised -- I'd had no idea. Signs that she thought were obvious flew right over my head, though in hindsight it made sense. I think the only come-on I've ever really recognized immediately was when a girl reached out and groped/caressed my chest and stomach at a nightclub in Denver. Done so nonchalantly -- only a pause as she was walking by me -- that I stood there like a deer in headlights for

[burtlo]

I actually like letting people admitting it. Always playing coy and flirtatious works in your favor in these matters.

There was one girl that I really had not devised that she liked me and she hadn't figured out that I liked her. So we just continued to fight, flirt, and pick on each other the entire time (reminiscent of Sam and Diane in Cheers). It wasn't until I cornered her one night and just forced my tongue down her throat did it become a little clearer.

Amusingly, after the first violent kiss she pulls away and tells me: "I thought you didn't like me."

[miketodd13]

Cornering a girl and forcing your tongue down her throat is considered coy and flirtatious these days? So what's an actual come-on -- strapping a girl to a St. Andrew's cross and laying into her with a flogger? ;)

I of course see your point though. At some point, someone has to stop being coy for something to happen. I suppose that's when it's the roll of the dice -- was she actually interested in you? If not, was your come-on sufficiently "good" that she becomes interested in you?

[burtlo]

She was interested. It was a bigger gamble because we all belonged to the same small social group. So this brash attempt could have backfired. But I felt like I confirmed, with enough certainty, that she liked me.

The problem really became the logistics of the event. I had 10-15 minutes to express my intentions but in a strong way so that we'd seek each other out later.

I think she mulled it over a bit, a few days, before she realized that she was also interested. The other crux of it was - she was secretly dating this other guy in the group (secretly because he was married).

[foxfour]

The Georgian Feast is a terrific book. You are going to invite a bunch of people over and make khinkali. now. you want to. i suggest pork/beef mix, or lamb. also, a good bottle of red wine. and laughter.

[dragonladyflame]

I don't actually own the book, but I was thinking of buying my own copy.