Mamma Mia, it's a game we play: "bye bye" doesn't mean forever

[dragonladyflame]

Sudden Poll!

1. What are our responsibilities to people we love?
2. What are our responsibilities to people who love us?
3. Why?
4. Where do these responsibilities overlap?
5. What kind of love did you default to while answering this poll?

Comments

[byzantienne]

1. To scheme against entropy in their favor.
2. To scheme against entropy in our own life.
3. Because there is still insufficient righteousness in the world.
4. They're really the same thing.
5. Agape.

[dragonladyflame]

:laugh: Oh, my dearest, if only you were a man or I weren't quite so damnably straight. I'd fall at your feet.

[byzantienne]

I think I will be highly flattered by this comment, and note that if you are ever not so straight I might enjoy taking you up on that.

[arisrabkin]

1: I don't believe that loving someone increases our responsibility to them. I have a number of responsibilities to my family, but those responsibilities are because they're my family, not because I love them.

When we love someone, we have all the same responsibilities we'd have if we didn't love them, and perhaps some other responsibilities depending on circumstances. But love per se doesn't give us responsibilities.

2: However, I think we do owe something to people who love us. Love, in part, is about trust, and I think therefore if someone loves us, we owe them the responsibility not to be callous to them. We might have to disappoint them or hurt them -- particularly if the love isn't mutual -- but we do have a duty to be careful, and to try to be as gentle as possible.

3: [above]

4: They don't.

5: I think I had romantic love in mind, but I was trying to answer in a way as broad as possible. I wouldn't answer differently for other forms of love.

[dragonladyflame]

I think I completely agree with you. I wonder if there's more.

[cogshiftingman]

You are a hard task master!

[dragonladyflame]

Far harder on myself, or at least I try to be. :grin:

[inkmonkey]

1. Loving someone doesn't produce responsibility toward that person. Ideally, it produces desire to see that person happy. Meeting that desire can be a responsibility to oneself

[dragonladyflame]

I think that's really reasonable point -- that we're not responsible for emotions or even situations so much as actions. Hence the not-making-sense of my white guilt in as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Africa, for instance: I'm not responsible for the situation, just for what I do. But surely privilege and/or power leaves us with some responsibilities? And surely being in a situation involving love almost always gives one privilege and/or power?

What kind of vector would be better? Can you think of a way to phrase these questions (or very similar ones) that would approach responsibility from the better vector?

[alastores]

Define responsibility. Still. Please note, this is what I consider my responsibilities to be - I do not feel this maps onto what someone else should feel responsbile for. I don't use the same rule for others

[dragonladyflame]

I had cause to think about how I ought to treat someone who loves me.

[alastores]

Well - That depends on how they've treated you. I don't think it garners them any special credit because they happen to love you.

So..the same responsibilities as for anyone else. It may require a certain amount of tact to fufill those responsibilities (IE - the generalised responsibility of Don't Be an Arse gets the added criteria of what their reaction to you arriving is going to be), but the responsibilities themselves...