Odd dreams and blueberries
So I'm in Machias, ME, which is in the middle of nowhere north of Bangor for those allergic to MapQuest. Staying with Matt's parents, which is nice - and they have good food. I'm working at Maine Wild Blueberry Corporation as a Comp Tech/box mover bitch. I use a hand jack to move empty boxes under a machine which fills the box with 1450 pounds of frozen blueberries. Then I clean, which mostly consists of cleaning out what I like to call the "Cesspool" and spraying Matt with a hose. The cesspool is actually a sugar tank which prepares blueberries for use in stuff like Poptarts. Needless to say, NEVER eat blueberry Poptarts. I should know, I clean the bloody thing, and it's vile. Of course, working at this factory has so far ripped up my back (it's like a train wreck, says my chiropractor) and given me carpal tunnel/tendonitis. Fun.
In addition to that, I've been having weird dreams lately. They started in late July and haven't stopped, leaving me with restless nights and panicked wake-ups. They all involve Matt, but not in a good way. I say weird dreams, but it's actually just the same one over and over again. In the dream, I'm working at the factory and I hear that someone's been injured. It's not surprising - it's a factory. I go back to my job (sweeping, of all things), when someone grabs me and asks if I'm the one who drives Matt into work. I say yes, and they say to go run outside, he's been hurt. I run outside as fast as I can, and they're loading Matt into an ambulance. He's covered in blood, his supervisor says something went wrong with the machinery he was working with. We get to the ER, and I'm forced to wait until a doctor can tell me what's wrong. The doctor comes out, and says there wasn't anything they could do - he had lost too much blood and wasn't breathing. It's then that I wake up.
Normally, I would just put this as a bad dream. The problem I have is that when I get dreams that are that vivid, dreams that I can remember, and dreams that are reoccuring, I get worried. I've had those types of dreams before, and they're very literal. Odd thing is, something similar to the dream happens every time I get dreams like that. Normally, they're pretty boring dreams - this is the first one that's scared the shit out of me. Knowing my past experiences with these types of dreams coming partially true, I've developed a slight form of separation anxiety. I'm probably just being paranoid, but it still worries me to think that Matt might get hurt, so I'm hesitant to leave his side. I hate feeling like that - I hate clingy people, and I hate that it seems like I'm turning into one of those people. Truth is that I'm just scared/paranoid/whatever you want to call it. ::sighs:: The month is almost over though, and I can't wait.