Fic: RPS (Jared/Jensen): In It for Love [5 / 16] | PG-13 | 7125 words
Title: In It for Love [ 5 / 16 ]
Author: dragonspell
Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen (and Jared/a slew of other characters including Misha Collins, Tom Welling, Mike Rosenbaum, Danneel Harris, Sandy McCoy and some OMCs and OFCs)
Rating: Currently PG-13 (eventual NC-17)
Warnings: AU. Cheesiness. Fandom cliches. The usual drill.
Summary (fic): After a drunken dare, award-winning writer Jensen agreed to on a reality television show to vie for the attention of megastar Jared Padalecki who he's had a crush on for years. Only Jensen doesn't know how he's going to be able to tolerate all the other contestants and their widely varying personalities and he's pretty sure that you're not supposed to be able to get used to somebody filming you 24/7.
Summary (part): A new day dawns and that means the second challenge and Jensen's next shot at winning a date with Jared.
Word Count: 7125 (this part)
Disclaimer: Never happened, no affiliation.
Master Post: Master Post
Part 4 | Master Post | Part 6
Episode 3 - First Half
All the decorations in the living room, Jensen decided, were hideous and the mansion must have been the result of some interior designer's nightmares. He was still wondering about the huge portrait dominating the west wall of the main room. It was a reproduction of the rather famous painting of the dogs playing poker, but, apparently deciding that it hadn't been tacky enough on its own, someone had replaced the heads with cut-outs of Jared's head and his dogs plus Chad. It looked more than just a little bit creepy, actually. Like they were watching everybody. And Jensen was still trying hard to ignore all the clashing colors that made his eyes want to rebel and roll back inside his head. Plus. There was a gigantic blue phone booth in one corner of the room, looking like Superman was going to stop by and change any minute now, pushing out Sandy who was calling home.
“Hey, Jenny, man, you gonna take your shot or not?”
Jensen jerked himself away from considering the horrors of the room and focused back on Mike who was leaning on his pool stick, staring at Jensen. Jensen shrugged apologetically. “Sorry man. Just got lost wondering how anyone could think this room was a good idea.”
Mike barked a laugh. “Don’t you know? According to Hollywood, this is how all hip and modern young people should live!”
“Yeah, by going out of their minds,” Jensen muttered, leaning down to aim for the seven.
He pulled back and hit the cue, sending it racing towards the solid and sinking it in the corner pocket. He smiled in satisfaction before he felt hips aligning with his and damn near jumped out of his skin. A heavy weight settled onto his back as Mike purred in his ear, “Aw, Jenny, we all know you’re going out of your mind for an entirely different reason.”
The teasing dig was entirely too true for Jensen’s peace of mind. He whapped Mike with the pool stick to get him off, muttering, “Like we’re all not.” When Mike just took the blow and didn’t move, Jensen hit him again.
“Ow, fucker!” Mike said, swiping at the stick.
“Then move, jackass!” Jensen shot back and hit him again.
Mike laughed, another, “ow,” breaking him mid-stream but not stopping him, and slid away from Jensen. Jensen straightened immediately and glared at Mike who only grinned back until Jensen was forced to start smiling too. He couldn’t help it-Mike was just that damn infectious. They’d been in the house for a grand total of two days if you didn’t count the first night and Mike was already wiggling underneath Jensen’s skin-sort of like a viral disease. An STD.
Actually, it was kind of amazing just how comfortable Jensen felt around Mike. It had taken him about a year to feel as comfortable around Chris as he did Mike and Jensen was wondering if the whole reality show atmosphere had anything to do with it. Still, though, even after this was all over, he was hoping to be able to stay in touch with Mike because the man was just that damn funny. There were a couple of houseguests that Jensen felt the same way towards. Danneel, no doubt, was awesome in Jensen’s opinion. Sandy, too, even if her extreme peppiness did freak him out a bit. Others, Jensen wasn’t too sure about. He still hadn’t forgiven Georgie for winning that first date with Jared and he was pretty sure that he’d never have a reason to look Felicity up when he got out.
“Are you guys going to play or what?” Tom asked, taking a sip of his beer. He was leaning up against the wall, waiting to play the winner, which, if the pattern held and Mike didn’t play any dirty tricks, looked like it was going to be Jensen.
Jensen rolled his eyes and moved around the table to line up his next shot. “Tell your buddy over here to stop cheating.”
“I’ll have you know,” Mike protested, “that I don’t actually need to cheat to win.” Jensen arched an eyebrow. “I don’t! I’ve had lessons from pros-very complicated stuff.”
Jensen sank the three and winked at Mike. “Too bad they didn’t teach you how to play,” he teased.
“I’m just going easy on you because I don’t want to make you cry, Jenny.”
Jensen aimed again, this time at the five, though it was behind one of Mike’s stripes. “Is that why you’re losing so badly?”
“Yeah,” Mike said. “My momma always told me I shouldn’t make girls cry.”
The shot went wide, the cue ricocheting off the stripe towards the far end of the table while the five bounced harmlessly off the corner of the pocket. “Fuck,” Jensen muttered as Mike crowed. Jensen straightened, giving Mike the table. “Too bad your momma didn’t teach you any manners, though.”
“Hey, my momma taught me lots of things,” Mike retorted, aiming for the two. Might as well considering how close Jensen had just inched it towards the pocket. He made the shot-would have to be freaking useless not to-and grinned at Jensen. “Like how to rub it in your face when I beat your ass.” Jensen snorted. There was some wishful thinking. Tom started laughing, apparently not believing Mike either about his chances and Mike pouted. “Hey!”
Tom tipped his bottle at the table. “You’ve got five balls left and Jensen’s got two. Do the math, man.”
“I’ll have you know that I’m just waiting for my great ‘come-from-behind’ win,” Mike sniffed, moving towards his next shot.
“Oh?” Jensen asked, grinning. “And just when’s that gonna happen?”
Mike pointed a finger at him, no doubt with a scathing retort just on the tip of his tongue but they all froze when the godawful chimes rigged to the front door started to ring. They were hideously tacky but Jensen breathed a quick prayer to whomever was listening for them being installed as he dropped his pool stick and tried not to look too much like an overeager puppy as he skittered towards the front door. He wasn’t alone. Mike and Tom were right beside him and he was fairly certain that Sandy had just hung up in mid-phone call. Ben met them halfway to the door, having taken the stairs two steps at a time.
Jared had been gone nearly all day. Jensen hadn’t known how it was fucking possible but he’d felt the absence like a damn hole in his heart and had spent all of breakfast-which he’d specifically gotten up for, damn it-pining like a thirteen year old. Sometime during the very early hours of the morning, though, Jared had been whisked away by his manager-for promotional reasons they’d been told-and it was already after two.
Justin beat them all to the door, probably because he’d been sitting in front of it again-Jensen had seen him doing just that earlier-but it was the figure standing in the doorway that made Jensen’s heart fall. Grinning from ear to ear and standing definitely shorter than Jared, Chad was standing there with his arms outspread, waiting to be welcomed back like a long-lost prince.
“What up, bitches?”
Danneel stumbled into Jensen from behind, obviously not expecting the sudden stop, and Jensen resisted the urge to groan in disappointment. Lita, however, who’d been fast on Danneel’s heels, did it for him.
“So I know I’m not who you expected,” Chad said, taking a seat, “but I do know that you’re happy to see me.” Jensen raised an eyebrow, wondering how that was possible. Chad Michael Murray was definitely not Jared Padalecki. Chad grinned at the sea of disbelieving faces around him, though some were obviously better at hiding their reactions than others. They were all sitting in a room that Jensen had suspected to be an auditorium or maybe a viewing room judging by the rows of seats facing the stage that Chad was now pacing on. Chad was obviously in his element, playing to the cameras and his assembled crowd with over pronounced gestures. He stopped in the middle, planting himself and facing them. “Because I’m your next challenge to get a date with Jared and I know you all want that.”
You could almost hear the lightbulbs coming on as people leaned forward, suddenly interested and Chad cackled. “I knew it.” He whipped out a stack of cue cards from his back pocket and flapped them at everyone. “Now, everyone needs to get their butts up here so we can do this right!” He waved his hands at a series of stools that had been set up behind him and Jensen’s eyes widened. Fucking A.
Everyone was already starting to get to their feet, shuffling down the row to get to the aisle and get up on stage and Jensen felt those damn butterflies start up again. He knew that almost anything could be on those cards of Chad’s from questions about sexual preferences to deep, personal secrets and he wasn’t looking forward to any of it. He still went with the crowd, though, letting himself be moved along with them and taking a seat up on the stage, facing the cameras.
This was…just a little bit intimidating. Jensen stared resolutely at the floor as Chad began to explain the game. “So, I’m going to read off whatever question is on the card and you need to answer it. Afterward, I get to pick who I thought won and I’m going to pick two-one girl, one guy, just to be fair. Everybody got it?” In other words, Jensen translated, there wasn’t any other way to ‘win’ other than to impress Chad. Fucking great.
“Alright!” Chad said, pulling out the first card and eyeing Danneel on the end. “First question! Say that Jared has decided to adopt a giant squid, how do you react?”
Jensen blinked. What? He glanced up and saw that he wasn’t the only one. Danneel was doing a slow blink, too, her head titled. Mike, however, was looking like he’d just won the damn lottery. “…A giant…squid?” Danneel asked.
“Yeah,” Chad replied. “He’s always bringing home weird shi-I mean, stuff-so how are you going to react when he brings home the creature of the deep and dumps it in the bathtub?”
“…Tell him to make sure he cleans up after it?” Danneel answered, sounding none too sure of herself.
“That’s a choice,” Chad said, turning to the next contestant on his make-believe game show. Misha gazed peacefully back. “Jared’s leaving for the next three months to go find some authentic Tibetan monks to hang with. What do you do?”
Misha pursed his lips and swung his eyes upward, tapping a finger against his chin. “Well, I suppose I’d just introduce him to the Lama and then we could just all hang out together.”
Chad shook himself. “The Dalai Lama?”
Misha tilted his head like a dog, peering at Chad like he was crazy. “Of course not. It’d take more than three months to visit him.”
“Oh.” Chad stared at Misha for a few more minutes who smiled back before continuing. “Moving on,” he said, reaching Justin, “Jared’s been invited to an award show. Great times. But it’s being held on the same day as his mom’s birthday. What should he do?”
Justin smiled. “That’s easy. Call his mother up and explain that he’s got to attend the award show.” Jensen flicked his eyes down at the kid who was still smiling like a Miss America contestant.
“Fair enough,” Chad replied and moved down to Mike. “So there’s a crying orphan on the street corner and a stray dog digging through the trash around the corner. What do you do?”
Jensen swallowed. Chad was almost to him and God, he had nothing… “Go get the dog,” Mike said, “and return it to the kid. The dog’s probably his and that’s why he’s crying. Problem solved.”
Chad nodded, “Sounds like a plan,” and Jensen’s palms began to sweat because Christ, he was next. Chad apparently didn’t care about Jensen’s little panic attack, though. “Jared’s being attacked by killer penguins escaped from the zoo. What would you do?”
Well, hop into the Batmobile, obviously… Jensen glanced up at Chad who was waiting expectantly. “Uh…try and…defend him?” He winced because what the Hell kind of answer was that?!
Chad, though, nodded again. “Good. Because he fights like a girl.” He looked at Sandy, sitting next to Jensen and shrugged. “No offense.” Sandy twisted her lips into a little smile and Jensen tried to still his racing heart. Well, okay. So he’d survived the first pass of Chad’s questions. What was next? “You love cookie dough ice cream but the ice cream shop Jared wants to go to only has mint chocolate chip. There’s a store right down the block, though, that you know serves the best cookie dough in the world. What do you do?”
Sandy shrugged. “Learn to love mint chocolate chip?”
Chad lowered his cards, giving Sandy a serious look. “Except that mint chocolate chip sucks,” he pronounced and Sandy shrugged apologetically. He turned to Tom and continued right on down the row, asking his bizarre little questions and Jensen smoothed his palms against his thighs, hoping that his nervousness was displaying on camera. God this sucked.
When Chad hit the end of the row, he grinned and cackled as he pocked the cards and pulled out a new set. “Now that we’ve gotten the softball questions out of the way… Time to send the kids to bed.” He swung around, going in a different order than the first round and turning to Lita. “Missionary, doggy, or cowgirl?” he asked and Jensen paled. He’d known. He’d just known.
Lita giggled and tittered some answer about cowgirl all the way because she likes to be in control or something but Jensen really wasn’t listening. He was too busy dreading his own turn.
Except that it apparently was his turn next and, fuck, apparently Chad was doing these randomly. “So,” Chad said, smirking at the card. “You were really hoping for some sweet, sweet lovin’ but Jared’s tired and only wants a blowjob. What do you do?”
Jensen closed his eyes and didn’t even try to stop his flush because his mother was going to hear this. That fact, though, wasn’t going to stop him from attempting to answer. “That, uh, that would be okay with me…” He trailed off, ignoring the friendly slap on the shoulder that Mike gave him as Mike started laughing.
Chad wiggled his eyebrows. “Oh, I like you,” he said. “Besides. He’s all into reciprocating or some such shit.” Right then and there, Jensen started to feel sorry for anyone that had ever slept with Chad. Chad, though, didn’t care. He moved on to Georgie, asking her, “So…spit or swallow?” and God if Jensen made it out of this alive he was so going to have to call home and tell everybody that no one was allowed to watch the show. Ever.
There were just certain things that people didn’t need to know about him. …There were also certain things that he knew that Chris wouldn’t ever let go and this was probably going to be one of them. And Justin was currently explaining his dirtiest fantasy in absolute detail because Sandy had demurred, tossing the question off and leaving Chad unsatisfied. Chad, though, looked like he was kind of regretting it and so was Jensen. Fuck this sucked and, Jesus, Jensen really didn’t think that you could use whipped cream the way that Justin wanted to.
Jensen just had to keep in mind, though, that this was for Jared. This was all for Jared-the whole damn rigmarole-and Chad wasn’t an obstacle. He was just a stepping stone. So when it was Jensen’s turn again and he was asked what he thought about handcuffs, he quietly confessed to rather liking them and when Chad followed it up, yeah, Jensen was, um, okay with being restrained and, damn it, this better get him somewhere.
Ben murmured about not particularly caring about top or bottom-whichever his partner preferred-and Mike cheerfully owned up to having a large collection of toys. Tom had never jerked off to midget porn but Misha had been involved in an orgy before. And Danneel had posed for a few risqué images and she didn’t just mean swimwear.
It’s not like it would take much to impress Jensen at this point, he figured. Jared was already pretty damn impressive in his own right and Jensen was sure that Jared could make even the most boring date infinitely more interesting. But Jensen definitely wanted that time with Jared. It was a little scary how much he wanted it, especially since he’d only known the man for a couple of days now and it had been a long time since Jensen had felt this way about a guy.
“Okay, last question!” Chad announced and turned to Sandy. “And no dodging this one! How do you feel about having sex on camera?” He grinned. “Considering that you’re in a house that has cameras covering all the beds.”
She narrowed her eyes at him but smiled like a Cheshire Cat. “Who says that I haven’t already?” Jensen glanced at her, wondering if she was talking about a filmed and faked scene or if she was talking about the actual thing. Then he breathed a small prayer that it wasn’t his question because he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to answer the question or not. Because, on the one hand, it was sex on camera but on the other…it would be sex with Jared and he wasn’t fucking crazy enough to turn that down.
“Does that mean that you have?” Chad asked, not letting Sandy get away with just that.
She held up her hands and shook her head. “That’s all I’m saying,” she laughed.
Chad made a sound like a buzzer. “That’s not an answer!” he said. “You lose!”
“What?” Sandy demanded. She screwed up her face, confused and glanced around at the rest of her housemates. Misha shrugged in return.
Ignoring her, Chad backed up a few steps to address them all and the cameras at the exact same time. “Ladies and gentlemen!” he announced. “I have made my decision!” Jensen blinked because damn that was fast but he still found that he couldn’t quite catch his breath. It was stuck in his throat and it was as if his lungs couldn’t draw in anything as he waited. Chad held the damn moment, too, keeping them in anticipation and Jensen could swear that he could hear a drum roll somewhere.
Making a grand gesture, Chad whipped around and held his hands up. “After giving careful consideration to your answers and factoring in my extensive and comprehensive knowledge of Jared, his likes and dislikes, his preferences, his lifestyle choices and how, like a freak, he likes pineapple on his pizza, my first choice is…!” He swung past most of them and held out his hand. “Wait for it… Wait for it… The best things happen when you’re patient!” There was a collective growl and Chad finally got the point, getting on with it. “The lovely Lita!”
They all clapped politely as Lita squealed though Jensen was fairly certain that most everybody was grinding their teeth. Not necessarily because it was Lita but just because it wasn’t them. “Next,” Chad continued, “I have to pick a guy though I don’t know why Jay couldn’t be just as happy with two chicks…” He trailed off and Jensen resisted the urge to run over and strangle him to get an answer. This was taking forever and Jensen thought he might possibly die of old age before Chad finally got this over with. “So, again, based on the answers and just who I think would be good for the Jay-man, I say…Jensen! Of the you-know-what lips!” There was more polite clapping and even a whistle from Mike but Jensen was a little slower to realize what had just been said. It took a few moments to sink in and all he could see at the moment was Jeff burying his head in his hands over Chad’s comment on the end and though Jensen thought he’d be doing the same any other time…
…Did he just win the second ‘challenge’? Okay, so jointly win? That meant that he was going to be able to spend time with Jared, right? Time that didn’t have random people interrupting them? Except for possibly Lita. Jensen glanced sharply to his left where Lita was staring back, eyes narrowed and sizing him up.
A shiver ran down Jensen’s spine and he sincerely hoped he lived to see the end of this night.
Chad was still talking, unaware that he’d become infinitely less important in their lives now that he’d announced his choices. “…going to a photoshoot where Lita and Jensen, as the winners, are going to be in the close-ups. Later, Jay’s got something planned but I don’t really care what, so are we ready to go?”
There was more clapping, though this time a little bit more enthusiastic and Jensen felt himself being pushed toward the door, getting lost in the absolute sea of faces shoving him forward.
Chad had hauled them into the limo and had delivered them outside of what looked to be a gigantic warehouse but what Chad assured them was actually a studio. Which was good, because Jensen didn’t think he could stomach anymore of Chad blatantly hitting on all the girls who were reacting with only polite interest that was getting less and less polite each time, the veneer wearing thin. Lita had openly moved from her seat, sitting in between Ben and Misha. Not that Chad had been without company: Justin had immediately filled Lita’s vacated spot, chatting up Chad for a change who had even been flirting back, albeit with some rather confused glances that Jensen gathered meant that Chad was still trying to figure out if Justin was a guy or a rather boyish girl. Jensen had hidden his smile behind my hand, making it look like he was just leaning forward to better hear Mike’s story about the midgets and the llama.
“Alright,” Chad said, herding them towards the doors of the warehouse. “Everybody inside! Prince Jay awaits!”
It was incredibly dark when they first entered, blinded by the bright sunshine outside and walking into a long but cramped darkened hallway and Jensen stumbled over the doorstop, running into Ben’s back. “Careful,” Ben murmured and then was forced to catch Danneel when she did the exact same thing.
“Hurry up, hurry up!” an impatient voice demanded, somewhere in the darkness and Jensen blindly swung towards it. He had no freaking clue what was going on, just that apparently they were supposed to be feeling their way towards some kind of an exit to the hallway and the mysterious voice wanted them to head in that direction. “Can’t believe they’re doing this to me,” the voice muttered, wandering away and Jensen fought back the urge to ask it to come back. It sounded moody enough as it was. “Make up for ten in only twenty minutes? Who are they kidding?”
Jensen bite down on a girly shriek when a hand came out of the darkness, dragging him through a door he hadn’t known existed. Other hands were dragging the rest of the housemates along, the only thing that made Jensen not scream in terror at this point because Jesus. This shit was scary. It was like being in a fashion haunted house.
He was dragged into a lighted room-thank God-and slammed into a chair while two people flittered around him, fussing with his hair, spiking it with gel and applying a bunch of crap to his face that Jensen was pretty sure was making him less of a man. Every now and then they told him to close his eyes and after awhile Jensen just kept them that way because he actually didn’t want to look at what they were doing to him. They chattered back and forth between each other, using code words or something because Jensen only understood maybe a third of what they were saying. Every now and then, though, he caught a “Jared” and it made his heart skip a beat each time.
More hands hauled him out of the chair-apparently he was done-and started dragging him down another hallway and Jensen wondered if he was in some kind of bizarre Third World prison for all the random orders and gibberish thrown his way. It was unsettling but definitely different and Jensen thought he might even have been able to appreciate it if the new tiny people circling him weren’t tugging at his clothes. “Whoa, hey!” he said, wrapping his arms protectively around himself.
A blonde to his right huffed and Jensen wasn’t sure if it was a guy, a girl, or some strange kind of alien. “Wear this,” it snapped, thrusting a wad of fabric toward him and Jensen picked up on the cue, gingerly taking the clothes. It unrolled into a silky green button down and he stared at it, bemused. The hands moved to his jeans, trying to tug them down as well. Jensen stumbled backward, running into a solid brick wall that, when he turned around and got a closer look at, turned out to be Ben. Ben was shrugging into his own new clothes, which was apparently a sleeveless T and camo pants. Original.
Ben glanced sympathetically at Jensen and Jensen sighed, tugging off his own shirt. Apparently he didn’t have a choice here and he was just glad that at least he’d worn clean underwear today. Though that wasn’t exactly a choice you could make lightly when you were on a reality TV show and never knew what was going to happen next. He was fairly certain that he was blushing due to the heat in his face because undressing in front of hundreds of tiny, demanding people was not his idea of a great time, but he also had a sneaking suspicion that all the gunk that they’d put on him was hiding that fact quite well. He hurriedly put on his shirt, buttoning it up all the way and having a few buttons undone again for him by the blonde who’d been huffing at him.
Not even his jeans were good enough, either, apparently, because he was given new ones, dark washed and pre-distressed and he seriously wanted to know how these tiny people knew his size. The jeans were fitting like a damn glove, maybe a little tight in the ass but definitely long enough in the leg and it made him paranoid that maybe somebody had been going through his clothes back at the house. Was that even legal?
As soon as he got the jeans up over his hips but before he managed to get them zipped, the tiny blonde was turning him from side to side, surprisingly strong as it manhandled him into various positions. It sighed again, much put upon. “It’ll have to do,” it said and stomped to a table, selecting out a belt and tossing it at him. “Put that on, too.” Then it rifled through another table, and pulled out a piece of braided leather, holding it up for inspection before deciding it wasn’t good enough, chucking it to the side and selecting another one just like it. It darted back in front of Jensen, rolling up his sleeves and all this jerky motion back and forth was starting to remind Jensen of a crazed bird.
There was a pit of apprehension growing in his gut but Jensen firmly ignored it. He wasn’t going to die-at least he thought he wasn’t-with the way that the blonde was still eyeing him, he wasn’t going to put that down as a definite just yet-and all he had to do was live through this and he’d have a chance to spend time with Jared.
He could make it through for that.
The blonde finished rolling up his sleeves and was now positioning him like a mannequin, putting Jensen’s hand on his hip and tilting up his face before nodding in something that looked like satisfaction. “It’s good,” it said and shoved Jensen out of the way. Jensen stumbled to the right, catching himself after a few feet and staring incredulously at the blonde who’d turned to Lita and was attempting to tug up her shirt and pull it down at the exact same time. Something told Jensen that the blonde wasn’t quite sure what to do with Lita’s rather generous…endowments.
“Over here,” a voice whispered and Jensen turned to face Tom, feeling pathetically grateful. He waved Jensen over and slid an arm across Jensen’s shoulders. “It doesn’t get any easier,” he said and Jensen couldn’t tell if he was joking or serious. Danneel was standing just to the side looking like a life-sized Barbie and Jensen almost wanted to touch her to see if she was real or had been replaced with flawless plastic. It was unreal just how gorgeous she looked.
“Are we ready?” Jensen turned around again and saw Jeff striding towards them. In this strange new world that Jensen found himself in, he was even happy to see Jeff of all people. It was an odd feeling. He surveyed the line, nodding approvingly and the rest of the cast was joining them, a harried looking Lita being the last, trying to smooth down the red halter that they’d put her in. “Looking good, looking good…” Jeff said. He clapped his hands. “Alright, so here’s the plan. First we’re going to get some group shots of everyone and everyone listen up because I’m only going to say this once: do what the photographer or I tell you. We clear on that? Good. Because I have no problems kicking you off the set. Time is money and that’s never more true than when you’re talking about overpaid fashion photographers and their crews.
“We’re going to be shooting with Jared and Chad before peeling off to do the close ups with just Jared and the challenge winners who were…” Jeff glanced around at the crowd, “Jensen and Lita, right?” Jensen nodded and Jeff turned. “Good. This way.” He shoved aside a black curtain, leading them out onto, after the darkness of the ‘backstage,’ was a blindly bright set. Jensen blinked, trying to get accustomed to the new change of lighting.
There was a raised platform with a red carpet runner covering it, continuing down the surrounding stairs, and there was a gigantic, heavy chair in the middle. It resembled a medieval throne and Jensen swallowed. It was all a little…intimidating. Cheesy as all hell but intimidating.
The only good news was that Jared had spotted them. His smile lit up his face and he’d darted across the room to meet them. “Hi guys!” he said, his hands spreading wide. “Sorry I haven’t had much time today but I just a few things to finish up for the new movie. It’ll get better, I promise!” Jared was even more gorgeous than normal. God, he looked positively perfect. He looked so perfect he almost looked fake-just like Danneel-dressed in more subdued colors than normal for him. There wasn’t a hint of pink in sight, instead just a light blue with a hint of white underneath to emphasize Jared’s tan and Jensen swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. God but he wanted to touch him. He wanted to feel Jared’s body, make sure that it was really in front of him and not just an exceptionally clear movie and he knew that Jared would be warm and solid underneath Jensen’s hands and it did nothing for Jensen’s sense of well-being. He was totally going to make a fool of himself out here. Or possibly come in his pants.
“So Chad tells me that he picked Lita,” Jared turned to Lita, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze, “and Jensen.” He did the same for Jensen and, yes, Jensen had been right. Jared was like a furnace, even with just his hand and Jensen felt his face start to heat with something that was quite different than embarrassment and he was insanely glad for the thick, airbrushed make-up again because Jared didn’t seem to notice.
Instead, he jerked his head towards the set. “So we’re going to get some promotional shots down and then afterward, I get to treat Jensen and Lita to a little one-on-one time.” He looked back and forth between them with his generous smile and Jensen felt his knees getting just a little weak. “One of you will have a date tonight while the other will get one tomorrow afternoon. Sound fair?” To have a date that he didn’t have to share with anyone else? Oh hell yes. Jensen was totally for that and he could see that Lita was too. “Okay, good! So, this here is Vince, our photographer for the day and I’ve got to tell you guys, he’s absolutely fantastic. He’s actually shot me before but he’s most famous for doing magazine spreads for the likes of Vogue.”
Vince was also a short little man and Jensen could suddenly see why he surrounded himself with other short little people. It probably made him feel better because the man was a complete Napoleon. After Jared’s introduction, he immediately started issuing orders and positioning everyone just so. Jared, of course, ended up in the chair, sprawled out like a lazy king, with one leg cocked up over the arm and one hand twirling a crown.
Ben had been placed directly behind the right corner of the chair, standing at his familiar parade rest and just generally looking menacing with Georgie balancing him out on the other side. Danneel and Sandy were sprawled like Princess Leia in front with Justin in between them. Mike, Tom and Misha had been placed in what appeared to be random areas while Lita, as a challenge winner, was posed over Jared’s cocked leg, hands skating entirely too close to dangerous territory as far as Jensen was concerned.
And as for Jensen… “Get up on top of him,” Vince ordered, his face hidden behind his camera and Jensen wanted to know just exactly how the fuck that he was supposed to do that. Jared was taking up quite a bit of the chair and there didn’t look to be a safe place to put anything. “Closer!” Vince snapped and Jensen swallowed, meeting Jared’s eyes. Fuck it.
Throwing dignity out the damn window because, Jesus fucking Christ, he was on a reality show-dignity was completely overrated in such a medium-Jensen climbed on top of Jared, straddling his hips the way that he’d been dreaming of doing ever since watching Jared in Hunter’s Paradise. Fucking finally. Too bad that there’d had to be all these people around to get there but at least Jensen had the make-up to hide behind.
Jared’s eyes were wide but that was a pleased smile playing around at his lips and Jensen braced himself against the chair’s arm, making sure he was behind Jared in order to play to the camera and Jensen met Jared’s stare head-on. Jared’s hand-oh Jesus yes-raised to hold Jensen’s thigh, warm and solid as it formed a connection in the picture and served to help hold Jensen still at the same time. Jensen could even feel the slow chuckle raising Jared’s chest. “What happened to my shy Jen?” Jared asked, amused and Jensen snorted.
“He’s getting comfortable,” he replied back, mentally high-fiving himself for pulling the one-liner off smoothly.
“Now, Jen,” Jared shot back, his grin getting wider, “that can’t be comfortable.”
Jared had a point-the chair was abusing Jensen’s knee something fierce-but like Hell Jensen was moving at least until Vince told him to. Judging by the way the little man was moaning ‘oh yeah’ and ‘perfect’ and practically orgasming behind the camera, though, Jensen still had a while. “Look this way,” Vince ordered and Jensen dragged his eyes away from Jared’s gorgeous smile to stare down the camera, hearing the shutter click.
Jared’s hand was steadily sliding up Jensen’s leg, though, and any minute now he was going to be touching Jensen’s ass. Jensen was torn because he wanted to call Jared out on it but he didn’t exactly want it to stop either. Instead, he just faced wherever Vince directed him too and felt his skin tingle in anticipation, hoping and praying that Jared stopped teasing and reached his destination soon.
Before he could, Vince set down the camera and repositioned them and this time it was Lita on top of Jared and Jensen wasn’t going to growl. He wasn’t. Not even with the way she was curling up on Jared’s lap like she owed it.
They hit a few more poses, including the requisite ones of Ben flexing his arms and Sandy and Justin trying to out-cute the other. They’d also had put Sandy up on top of Jared, just for the facial recognition-double shot of fame never hurt the ratings-and there’d been the rather embarrassing incident of Justin attempting to climb up into Jared’s lap too, to get his share of the limelight but had ended up getting accidentally kicked by Sandy when she shifted. It all apparently came together, though, because after an hour or so of shooting, Vince held his camera up toward the ceiling and announced, “Time for the smaller group shots.”
The rest of the housemates were herded away and Jensen was left with just Jared and Lita and a flight of butterflies fluttering about in his stomach. Lita was openly staring at him, though, the challenge in her eyes unmistakable, and like Hell Jensen was going to take that lying down. So when Vince told them to move in close to Jared and Lita plastered herself to Jared’s side, Jensen made sure that he one-upped her, one hand raising to cup Jared’s jaw and focus Jared’s attention on Jensen. Vince had made a happy noise, clicking the camera again while Lita pouted and then Jensen was dealing with Lita’s wandering hands all over Jared. She pulled on Jared’s shirt, directing his attention downward to her while Jensen tried to use his height to his best advantage.
He knew that ‘fighting’ over their chosen man wasn’t exactly the most mature thing in the world but Jensen couldn’t actually resist. He was one step away from slapping Lita’s hands away. At one point, though, they’d both had had a death grip on Jared’s shirt and Jared had pulled a face that had Vince’s camera clicking furiously while the tiny man’s shoulders shook in suppressed laughter. Knowing he was acting ridiculously and that there’d be plenty of time to have Jared to himself later, Jensen actively released Jared’s shirt and tucked himself more firmly under the warmth of Jared’s arm. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lita accept the unspoken truce, mimicking Jensen’s position.
Vince’s camera clicked and whirled a few more times before he finally stood up from his crouch. “Looks good,” he announced and Jared grinned while Jensen attempting to catch his now racing heart.
“Yeah?” Jared said.
“Yeah,” Vince replied. “Want to see?” He hauled Jared over to the monitor to flip through a bit of the film, grinning from ear to ear. “The wonders of modern technology, huh?” Vince said, poking Jared in the ribs. Jared laughed and agreed while they flipped through a sample of the pictures.
Some made Jensen wince because yeah, what the hell had he been thinking, while a few others made him blush-like the couple that looked like he and Jared were painfully close to kissing or the multitudes where he was practically lying on top of the guy-others made him instantly jealous and while others just made him stop and stare because that was him? Wow. In Jensen’s opinion, Jared was damn near perfect in every shot but he had to admit that there were a few that made him think that perhaps he might just actually have a shot at winning this.
He soaked up the good with the bad and was surprised that a few pictures even looked good.
“Thanks so much, man,” Jared said, sticking out a hand that Vince heartily shook.
“No problem,” Vince replied. “Always a pleasure with you, Jared.” Then Vince and his army of teeny, tiny people were starting to pack up and Jensen was left alone with Jared. And Lita.
Jared smiled at both of them before deferring to the ground. “So,” he said, reaching out to grab their hands again and swinging them back and forth. “Now I’ve got to make a choice.” He glanced up, then, hazel eyes locking onto Jensen’s before sliding over to Lita. “One of you is getting a date starting right now while the other is going to have to wait until tomorrow.
Jensen swallowed and glanced down at the ground. Truth be told, he really didn’t know which one that he would prefer. Being chosen to go first would mean not having to wait, however being chosen for the second date would mean not having to spend tomorrow pining. More to the point, though, Jared’s hand felt really freaking good in Jensen’s and Jensen wanted another kiss.
“So, uh, Lita,” Jared said and Jensen kept his eyes lowered, not wanting to show disappointment just because Jared was saying someone else’s name. How utterly pathetic could he be? “I hope you don’t mind if I take Jensen out tonight?”
Jensen snapped his head up, staring at Jared who was focused on Lita while she reluctantly said yes. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” she said, leaning up to kiss his cheek and Jared smiled happily. Jensen deliberately kept his face neutral and eventually Jared let her go, turning around to Jensen. It was like the sun rising after a too long night.
Jared tugged Jensen closer and Jensen went willingly, letting himself rest against Jared’s chest while Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen. “Ready to go, then?” Jared murmured and Jensen didn’t think that there was any other answer to that question than a resounding ‘hell yes.’
Especially when Jared leaned down slightly and kissed him and it was just like Jensen remembered from last night but even better. He could melt right here and now except that he hopefully had an entire night of this to look forward to and who would ever want to miss that?
Part 4 | Master Post | Part 6
Author: dragonspell
Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen (and Jared/a slew of other characters including Misha Collins, Tom Welling, Mike Rosenbaum, Danneel Harris, Sandy McCoy and some OMCs and OFCs)
Rating: Currently PG-13 (eventual NC-17)
Warnings: AU. Cheesiness. Fandom cliches. The usual drill.
Summary (fic): After a drunken dare, award-winning writer Jensen agreed to on a reality television show to vie for the attention of megastar Jared Padalecki who he's had a crush on for years. Only Jensen doesn't know how he's going to be able to tolerate all the other contestants and their widely varying personalities and he's pretty sure that you're not supposed to be able to get used to somebody filming you 24/7.
Summary (part): A new day dawns and that means the second challenge and Jensen's next shot at winning a date with Jared.
Word Count: 7125 (this part)
Disclaimer: Never happened, no affiliation.
Master Post: Master Post
Part 4 | Master Post | Part 6
Episode 3 - First Half
All the decorations in the living room, Jensen decided, were hideous and the mansion must have been the result of some interior designer's nightmares. He was still wondering about the huge portrait dominating the west wall of the main room. It was a reproduction of the rather famous painting of the dogs playing poker, but, apparently deciding that it hadn't been tacky enough on its own, someone had replaced the heads with cut-outs of Jared's head and his dogs plus Chad. It looked more than just a little bit creepy, actually. Like they were watching everybody. And Jensen was still trying hard to ignore all the clashing colors that made his eyes want to rebel and roll back inside his head. Plus. There was a gigantic blue phone booth in one corner of the room, looking like Superman was going to stop by and change any minute now, pushing out Sandy who was calling home.
“Hey, Jenny, man, you gonna take your shot or not?”
Jensen jerked himself away from considering the horrors of the room and focused back on Mike who was leaning on his pool stick, staring at Jensen. Jensen shrugged apologetically. “Sorry man. Just got lost wondering how anyone could think this room was a good idea.”
Mike barked a laugh. “Don’t you know? According to Hollywood, this is how all hip and modern young people should live!”
“Yeah, by going out of their minds,” Jensen muttered, leaning down to aim for the seven.
He pulled back and hit the cue, sending it racing towards the solid and sinking it in the corner pocket. He smiled in satisfaction before he felt hips aligning with his and damn near jumped out of his skin. A heavy weight settled onto his back as Mike purred in his ear, “Aw, Jenny, we all know you’re going out of your mind for an entirely different reason.”
The teasing dig was entirely too true for Jensen’s peace of mind. He whapped Mike with the pool stick to get him off, muttering, “Like we’re all not.” When Mike just took the blow and didn’t move, Jensen hit him again.
“Ow, fucker!” Mike said, swiping at the stick.
“Then move, jackass!” Jensen shot back and hit him again.
Mike laughed, another, “ow,” breaking him mid-stream but not stopping him, and slid away from Jensen. Jensen straightened immediately and glared at Mike who only grinned back until Jensen was forced to start smiling too. He couldn’t help it-Mike was just that damn infectious. They’d been in the house for a grand total of two days if you didn’t count the first night and Mike was already wiggling underneath Jensen’s skin-sort of like a viral disease. An STD.
Actually, it was kind of amazing just how comfortable Jensen felt around Mike. It had taken him about a year to feel as comfortable around Chris as he did Mike and Jensen was wondering if the whole reality show atmosphere had anything to do with it. Still, though, even after this was all over, he was hoping to be able to stay in touch with Mike because the man was just that damn funny. There were a couple of houseguests that Jensen felt the same way towards. Danneel, no doubt, was awesome in Jensen’s opinion. Sandy, too, even if her extreme peppiness did freak him out a bit. Others, Jensen wasn’t too sure about. He still hadn’t forgiven Georgie for winning that first date with Jared and he was pretty sure that he’d never have a reason to look Felicity up when he got out.
“Are you guys going to play or what?” Tom asked, taking a sip of his beer. He was leaning up against the wall, waiting to play the winner, which, if the pattern held and Mike didn’t play any dirty tricks, looked like it was going to be Jensen.
Jensen rolled his eyes and moved around the table to line up his next shot. “Tell your buddy over here to stop cheating.”
“I’ll have you know,” Mike protested, “that I don’t actually need to cheat to win.” Jensen arched an eyebrow. “I don’t! I’ve had lessons from pros-very complicated stuff.”
Jensen sank the three and winked at Mike. “Too bad they didn’t teach you how to play,” he teased.
“I’m just going easy on you because I don’t want to make you cry, Jenny.”
Jensen aimed again, this time at the five, though it was behind one of Mike’s stripes. “Is that why you’re losing so badly?”
“Yeah,” Mike said. “My momma always told me I shouldn’t make girls cry.”
The shot went wide, the cue ricocheting off the stripe towards the far end of the table while the five bounced harmlessly off the corner of the pocket. “Fuck,” Jensen muttered as Mike crowed. Jensen straightened, giving Mike the table. “Too bad your momma didn’t teach you any manners, though.”
“Hey, my momma taught me lots of things,” Mike retorted, aiming for the two. Might as well considering how close Jensen had just inched it towards the pocket. He made the shot-would have to be freaking useless not to-and grinned at Jensen. “Like how to rub it in your face when I beat your ass.” Jensen snorted. There was some wishful thinking. Tom started laughing, apparently not believing Mike either about his chances and Mike pouted. “Hey!”
Tom tipped his bottle at the table. “You’ve got five balls left and Jensen’s got two. Do the math, man.”
“I’ll have you know that I’m just waiting for my great ‘come-from-behind’ win,” Mike sniffed, moving towards his next shot.
“Oh?” Jensen asked, grinning. “And just when’s that gonna happen?”
Mike pointed a finger at him, no doubt with a scathing retort just on the tip of his tongue but they all froze when the godawful chimes rigged to the front door started to ring. They were hideously tacky but Jensen breathed a quick prayer to whomever was listening for them being installed as he dropped his pool stick and tried not to look too much like an overeager puppy as he skittered towards the front door. He wasn’t alone. Mike and Tom were right beside him and he was fairly certain that Sandy had just hung up in mid-phone call. Ben met them halfway to the door, having taken the stairs two steps at a time.
Jared had been gone nearly all day. Jensen hadn’t known how it was fucking possible but he’d felt the absence like a damn hole in his heart and had spent all of breakfast-which he’d specifically gotten up for, damn it-pining like a thirteen year old. Sometime during the very early hours of the morning, though, Jared had been whisked away by his manager-for promotional reasons they’d been told-and it was already after two.
Justin beat them all to the door, probably because he’d been sitting in front of it again-Jensen had seen him doing just that earlier-but it was the figure standing in the doorway that made Jensen’s heart fall. Grinning from ear to ear and standing definitely shorter than Jared, Chad was standing there with his arms outspread, waiting to be welcomed back like a long-lost prince.
“What up, bitches?”
Danneel stumbled into Jensen from behind, obviously not expecting the sudden stop, and Jensen resisted the urge to groan in disappointment. Lita, however, who’d been fast on Danneel’s heels, did it for him.
“So I know I’m not who you expected,” Chad said, taking a seat, “but I do know that you’re happy to see me.” Jensen raised an eyebrow, wondering how that was possible. Chad Michael Murray was definitely not Jared Padalecki. Chad grinned at the sea of disbelieving faces around him, though some were obviously better at hiding their reactions than others. They were all sitting in a room that Jensen had suspected to be an auditorium or maybe a viewing room judging by the rows of seats facing the stage that Chad was now pacing on. Chad was obviously in his element, playing to the cameras and his assembled crowd with over pronounced gestures. He stopped in the middle, planting himself and facing them. “Because I’m your next challenge to get a date with Jared and I know you all want that.”
You could almost hear the lightbulbs coming on as people leaned forward, suddenly interested and Chad cackled. “I knew it.” He whipped out a stack of cue cards from his back pocket and flapped them at everyone. “Now, everyone needs to get their butts up here so we can do this right!” He waved his hands at a series of stools that had been set up behind him and Jensen’s eyes widened. Fucking A.
Everyone was already starting to get to their feet, shuffling down the row to get to the aisle and get up on stage and Jensen felt those damn butterflies start up again. He knew that almost anything could be on those cards of Chad’s from questions about sexual preferences to deep, personal secrets and he wasn’t looking forward to any of it. He still went with the crowd, though, letting himself be moved along with them and taking a seat up on the stage, facing the cameras.
This was…just a little bit intimidating. Jensen stared resolutely at the floor as Chad began to explain the game. “So, I’m going to read off whatever question is on the card and you need to answer it. Afterward, I get to pick who I thought won and I’m going to pick two-one girl, one guy, just to be fair. Everybody got it?” In other words, Jensen translated, there wasn’t any other way to ‘win’ other than to impress Chad. Fucking great.
“Alright!” Chad said, pulling out the first card and eyeing Danneel on the end. “First question! Say that Jared has decided to adopt a giant squid, how do you react?”
Jensen blinked. What? He glanced up and saw that he wasn’t the only one. Danneel was doing a slow blink, too, her head titled. Mike, however, was looking like he’d just won the damn lottery. “…A giant…squid?” Danneel asked.
“Yeah,” Chad replied. “He’s always bringing home weird shi-I mean, stuff-so how are you going to react when he brings home the creature of the deep and dumps it in the bathtub?”
“…Tell him to make sure he cleans up after it?” Danneel answered, sounding none too sure of herself.
“That’s a choice,” Chad said, turning to the next contestant on his make-believe game show. Misha gazed peacefully back. “Jared’s leaving for the next three months to go find some authentic Tibetan monks to hang with. What do you do?”
Misha pursed his lips and swung his eyes upward, tapping a finger against his chin. “Well, I suppose I’d just introduce him to the Lama and then we could just all hang out together.”
Chad shook himself. “The Dalai Lama?”
Misha tilted his head like a dog, peering at Chad like he was crazy. “Of course not. It’d take more than three months to visit him.”
“Oh.” Chad stared at Misha for a few more minutes who smiled back before continuing. “Moving on,” he said, reaching Justin, “Jared’s been invited to an award show. Great times. But it’s being held on the same day as his mom’s birthday. What should he do?”
Justin smiled. “That’s easy. Call his mother up and explain that he’s got to attend the award show.” Jensen flicked his eyes down at the kid who was still smiling like a Miss America contestant.
“Fair enough,” Chad replied and moved down to Mike. “So there’s a crying orphan on the street corner and a stray dog digging through the trash around the corner. What do you do?”
Jensen swallowed. Chad was almost to him and God, he had nothing… “Go get the dog,” Mike said, “and return it to the kid. The dog’s probably his and that’s why he’s crying. Problem solved.”
Chad nodded, “Sounds like a plan,” and Jensen’s palms began to sweat because Christ, he was next. Chad apparently didn’t care about Jensen’s little panic attack, though. “Jared’s being attacked by killer penguins escaped from the zoo. What would you do?”
Well, hop into the Batmobile, obviously… Jensen glanced up at Chad who was waiting expectantly. “Uh…try and…defend him?” He winced because what the Hell kind of answer was that?!
Chad, though, nodded again. “Good. Because he fights like a girl.” He looked at Sandy, sitting next to Jensen and shrugged. “No offense.” Sandy twisted her lips into a little smile and Jensen tried to still his racing heart. Well, okay. So he’d survived the first pass of Chad’s questions. What was next? “You love cookie dough ice cream but the ice cream shop Jared wants to go to only has mint chocolate chip. There’s a store right down the block, though, that you know serves the best cookie dough in the world. What do you do?”
Sandy shrugged. “Learn to love mint chocolate chip?”
Chad lowered his cards, giving Sandy a serious look. “Except that mint chocolate chip sucks,” he pronounced and Sandy shrugged apologetically. He turned to Tom and continued right on down the row, asking his bizarre little questions and Jensen smoothed his palms against his thighs, hoping that his nervousness was displaying on camera. God this sucked.
When Chad hit the end of the row, he grinned and cackled as he pocked the cards and pulled out a new set. “Now that we’ve gotten the softball questions out of the way… Time to send the kids to bed.” He swung around, going in a different order than the first round and turning to Lita. “Missionary, doggy, or cowgirl?” he asked and Jensen paled. He’d known. He’d just known.
Lita giggled and tittered some answer about cowgirl all the way because she likes to be in control or something but Jensen really wasn’t listening. He was too busy dreading his own turn.
Except that it apparently was his turn next and, fuck, apparently Chad was doing these randomly. “So,” Chad said, smirking at the card. “You were really hoping for some sweet, sweet lovin’ but Jared’s tired and only wants a blowjob. What do you do?”
Jensen closed his eyes and didn’t even try to stop his flush because his mother was going to hear this. That fact, though, wasn’t going to stop him from attempting to answer. “That, uh, that would be okay with me…” He trailed off, ignoring the friendly slap on the shoulder that Mike gave him as Mike started laughing.
Chad wiggled his eyebrows. “Oh, I like you,” he said. “Besides. He’s all into reciprocating or some such shit.” Right then and there, Jensen started to feel sorry for anyone that had ever slept with Chad. Chad, though, didn’t care. He moved on to Georgie, asking her, “So…spit or swallow?” and God if Jensen made it out of this alive he was so going to have to call home and tell everybody that no one was allowed to watch the show. Ever.
There were just certain things that people didn’t need to know about him. …There were also certain things that he knew that Chris wouldn’t ever let go and this was probably going to be one of them. And Justin was currently explaining his dirtiest fantasy in absolute detail because Sandy had demurred, tossing the question off and leaving Chad unsatisfied. Chad, though, looked like he was kind of regretting it and so was Jensen. Fuck this sucked and, Jesus, Jensen really didn’t think that you could use whipped cream the way that Justin wanted to.
Jensen just had to keep in mind, though, that this was for Jared. This was all for Jared-the whole damn rigmarole-and Chad wasn’t an obstacle. He was just a stepping stone. So when it was Jensen’s turn again and he was asked what he thought about handcuffs, he quietly confessed to rather liking them and when Chad followed it up, yeah, Jensen was, um, okay with being restrained and, damn it, this better get him somewhere.
Ben murmured about not particularly caring about top or bottom-whichever his partner preferred-and Mike cheerfully owned up to having a large collection of toys. Tom had never jerked off to midget porn but Misha had been involved in an orgy before. And Danneel had posed for a few risqué images and she didn’t just mean swimwear.
It’s not like it would take much to impress Jensen at this point, he figured. Jared was already pretty damn impressive in his own right and Jensen was sure that Jared could make even the most boring date infinitely more interesting. But Jensen definitely wanted that time with Jared. It was a little scary how much he wanted it, especially since he’d only known the man for a couple of days now and it had been a long time since Jensen had felt this way about a guy.
“Okay, last question!” Chad announced and turned to Sandy. “And no dodging this one! How do you feel about having sex on camera?” He grinned. “Considering that you’re in a house that has cameras covering all the beds.”
She narrowed her eyes at him but smiled like a Cheshire Cat. “Who says that I haven’t already?” Jensen glanced at her, wondering if she was talking about a filmed and faked scene or if she was talking about the actual thing. Then he breathed a small prayer that it wasn’t his question because he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to answer the question or not. Because, on the one hand, it was sex on camera but on the other…it would be sex with Jared and he wasn’t fucking crazy enough to turn that down.
“Does that mean that you have?” Chad asked, not letting Sandy get away with just that.
She held up her hands and shook her head. “That’s all I’m saying,” she laughed.
Chad made a sound like a buzzer. “That’s not an answer!” he said. “You lose!”
“What?” Sandy demanded. She screwed up her face, confused and glanced around at the rest of her housemates. Misha shrugged in return.
Ignoring her, Chad backed up a few steps to address them all and the cameras at the exact same time. “Ladies and gentlemen!” he announced. “I have made my decision!” Jensen blinked because damn that was fast but he still found that he couldn’t quite catch his breath. It was stuck in his throat and it was as if his lungs couldn’t draw in anything as he waited. Chad held the damn moment, too, keeping them in anticipation and Jensen could swear that he could hear a drum roll somewhere.
Making a grand gesture, Chad whipped around and held his hands up. “After giving careful consideration to your answers and factoring in my extensive and comprehensive knowledge of Jared, his likes and dislikes, his preferences, his lifestyle choices and how, like a freak, he likes pineapple on his pizza, my first choice is…!” He swung past most of them and held out his hand. “Wait for it… Wait for it… The best things happen when you’re patient!” There was a collective growl and Chad finally got the point, getting on with it. “The lovely Lita!”
They all clapped politely as Lita squealed though Jensen was fairly certain that most everybody was grinding their teeth. Not necessarily because it was Lita but just because it wasn’t them. “Next,” Chad continued, “I have to pick a guy though I don’t know why Jay couldn’t be just as happy with two chicks…” He trailed off and Jensen resisted the urge to run over and strangle him to get an answer. This was taking forever and Jensen thought he might possibly die of old age before Chad finally got this over with. “So, again, based on the answers and just who I think would be good for the Jay-man, I say…Jensen! Of the you-know-what lips!” There was more polite clapping and even a whistle from Mike but Jensen was a little slower to realize what had just been said. It took a few moments to sink in and all he could see at the moment was Jeff burying his head in his hands over Chad’s comment on the end and though Jensen thought he’d be doing the same any other time…
…Did he just win the second ‘challenge’? Okay, so jointly win? That meant that he was going to be able to spend time with Jared, right? Time that didn’t have random people interrupting them? Except for possibly Lita. Jensen glanced sharply to his left where Lita was staring back, eyes narrowed and sizing him up.
A shiver ran down Jensen’s spine and he sincerely hoped he lived to see the end of this night.
Chad was still talking, unaware that he’d become infinitely less important in their lives now that he’d announced his choices. “…going to a photoshoot where Lita and Jensen, as the winners, are going to be in the close-ups. Later, Jay’s got something planned but I don’t really care what, so are we ready to go?”
There was more clapping, though this time a little bit more enthusiastic and Jensen felt himself being pushed toward the door, getting lost in the absolute sea of faces shoving him forward.
Chad had hauled them into the limo and had delivered them outside of what looked to be a gigantic warehouse but what Chad assured them was actually a studio. Which was good, because Jensen didn’t think he could stomach anymore of Chad blatantly hitting on all the girls who were reacting with only polite interest that was getting less and less polite each time, the veneer wearing thin. Lita had openly moved from her seat, sitting in between Ben and Misha. Not that Chad had been without company: Justin had immediately filled Lita’s vacated spot, chatting up Chad for a change who had even been flirting back, albeit with some rather confused glances that Jensen gathered meant that Chad was still trying to figure out if Justin was a guy or a rather boyish girl. Jensen had hidden his smile behind my hand, making it look like he was just leaning forward to better hear Mike’s story about the midgets and the llama.
“Alright,” Chad said, herding them towards the doors of the warehouse. “Everybody inside! Prince Jay awaits!”
It was incredibly dark when they first entered, blinded by the bright sunshine outside and walking into a long but cramped darkened hallway and Jensen stumbled over the doorstop, running into Ben’s back. “Careful,” Ben murmured and then was forced to catch Danneel when she did the exact same thing.
“Hurry up, hurry up!” an impatient voice demanded, somewhere in the darkness and Jensen blindly swung towards it. He had no freaking clue what was going on, just that apparently they were supposed to be feeling their way towards some kind of an exit to the hallway and the mysterious voice wanted them to head in that direction. “Can’t believe they’re doing this to me,” the voice muttered, wandering away and Jensen fought back the urge to ask it to come back. It sounded moody enough as it was. “Make up for ten in only twenty minutes? Who are they kidding?”
Jensen bite down on a girly shriek when a hand came out of the darkness, dragging him through a door he hadn’t known existed. Other hands were dragging the rest of the housemates along, the only thing that made Jensen not scream in terror at this point because Jesus. This shit was scary. It was like being in a fashion haunted house.
He was dragged into a lighted room-thank God-and slammed into a chair while two people flittered around him, fussing with his hair, spiking it with gel and applying a bunch of crap to his face that Jensen was pretty sure was making him less of a man. Every now and then they told him to close his eyes and after awhile Jensen just kept them that way because he actually didn’t want to look at what they were doing to him. They chattered back and forth between each other, using code words or something because Jensen only understood maybe a third of what they were saying. Every now and then, though, he caught a “Jared” and it made his heart skip a beat each time.
More hands hauled him out of the chair-apparently he was done-and started dragging him down another hallway and Jensen wondered if he was in some kind of bizarre Third World prison for all the random orders and gibberish thrown his way. It was unsettling but definitely different and Jensen thought he might even have been able to appreciate it if the new tiny people circling him weren’t tugging at his clothes. “Whoa, hey!” he said, wrapping his arms protectively around himself.
A blonde to his right huffed and Jensen wasn’t sure if it was a guy, a girl, or some strange kind of alien. “Wear this,” it snapped, thrusting a wad of fabric toward him and Jensen picked up on the cue, gingerly taking the clothes. It unrolled into a silky green button down and he stared at it, bemused. The hands moved to his jeans, trying to tug them down as well. Jensen stumbled backward, running into a solid brick wall that, when he turned around and got a closer look at, turned out to be Ben. Ben was shrugging into his own new clothes, which was apparently a sleeveless T and camo pants. Original.
Ben glanced sympathetically at Jensen and Jensen sighed, tugging off his own shirt. Apparently he didn’t have a choice here and he was just glad that at least he’d worn clean underwear today. Though that wasn’t exactly a choice you could make lightly when you were on a reality TV show and never knew what was going to happen next. He was fairly certain that he was blushing due to the heat in his face because undressing in front of hundreds of tiny, demanding people was not his idea of a great time, but he also had a sneaking suspicion that all the gunk that they’d put on him was hiding that fact quite well. He hurriedly put on his shirt, buttoning it up all the way and having a few buttons undone again for him by the blonde who’d been huffing at him.
Not even his jeans were good enough, either, apparently, because he was given new ones, dark washed and pre-distressed and he seriously wanted to know how these tiny people knew his size. The jeans were fitting like a damn glove, maybe a little tight in the ass but definitely long enough in the leg and it made him paranoid that maybe somebody had been going through his clothes back at the house. Was that even legal?
As soon as he got the jeans up over his hips but before he managed to get them zipped, the tiny blonde was turning him from side to side, surprisingly strong as it manhandled him into various positions. It sighed again, much put upon. “It’ll have to do,” it said and stomped to a table, selecting out a belt and tossing it at him. “Put that on, too.” Then it rifled through another table, and pulled out a piece of braided leather, holding it up for inspection before deciding it wasn’t good enough, chucking it to the side and selecting another one just like it. It darted back in front of Jensen, rolling up his sleeves and all this jerky motion back and forth was starting to remind Jensen of a crazed bird.
There was a pit of apprehension growing in his gut but Jensen firmly ignored it. He wasn’t going to die-at least he thought he wasn’t-with the way that the blonde was still eyeing him, he wasn’t going to put that down as a definite just yet-and all he had to do was live through this and he’d have a chance to spend time with Jared.
He could make it through for that.
The blonde finished rolling up his sleeves and was now positioning him like a mannequin, putting Jensen’s hand on his hip and tilting up his face before nodding in something that looked like satisfaction. “It’s good,” it said and shoved Jensen out of the way. Jensen stumbled to the right, catching himself after a few feet and staring incredulously at the blonde who’d turned to Lita and was attempting to tug up her shirt and pull it down at the exact same time. Something told Jensen that the blonde wasn’t quite sure what to do with Lita’s rather generous…endowments.
“Over here,” a voice whispered and Jensen turned to face Tom, feeling pathetically grateful. He waved Jensen over and slid an arm across Jensen’s shoulders. “It doesn’t get any easier,” he said and Jensen couldn’t tell if he was joking or serious. Danneel was standing just to the side looking like a life-sized Barbie and Jensen almost wanted to touch her to see if she was real or had been replaced with flawless plastic. It was unreal just how gorgeous she looked.
“Are we ready?” Jensen turned around again and saw Jeff striding towards them. In this strange new world that Jensen found himself in, he was even happy to see Jeff of all people. It was an odd feeling. He surveyed the line, nodding approvingly and the rest of the cast was joining them, a harried looking Lita being the last, trying to smooth down the red halter that they’d put her in. “Looking good, looking good…” Jeff said. He clapped his hands. “Alright, so here’s the plan. First we’re going to get some group shots of everyone and everyone listen up because I’m only going to say this once: do what the photographer or I tell you. We clear on that? Good. Because I have no problems kicking you off the set. Time is money and that’s never more true than when you’re talking about overpaid fashion photographers and their crews.
“We’re going to be shooting with Jared and Chad before peeling off to do the close ups with just Jared and the challenge winners who were…” Jeff glanced around at the crowd, “Jensen and Lita, right?” Jensen nodded and Jeff turned. “Good. This way.” He shoved aside a black curtain, leading them out onto, after the darkness of the ‘backstage,’ was a blindly bright set. Jensen blinked, trying to get accustomed to the new change of lighting.
There was a raised platform with a red carpet runner covering it, continuing down the surrounding stairs, and there was a gigantic, heavy chair in the middle. It resembled a medieval throne and Jensen swallowed. It was all a little…intimidating. Cheesy as all hell but intimidating.
The only good news was that Jared had spotted them. His smile lit up his face and he’d darted across the room to meet them. “Hi guys!” he said, his hands spreading wide. “Sorry I haven’t had much time today but I just a few things to finish up for the new movie. It’ll get better, I promise!” Jared was even more gorgeous than normal. God, he looked positively perfect. He looked so perfect he almost looked fake-just like Danneel-dressed in more subdued colors than normal for him. There wasn’t a hint of pink in sight, instead just a light blue with a hint of white underneath to emphasize Jared’s tan and Jensen swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. God but he wanted to touch him. He wanted to feel Jared’s body, make sure that it was really in front of him and not just an exceptionally clear movie and he knew that Jared would be warm and solid underneath Jensen’s hands and it did nothing for Jensen’s sense of well-being. He was totally going to make a fool of himself out here. Or possibly come in his pants.
“So Chad tells me that he picked Lita,” Jared turned to Lita, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze, “and Jensen.” He did the same for Jensen and, yes, Jensen had been right. Jared was like a furnace, even with just his hand and Jensen felt his face start to heat with something that was quite different than embarrassment and he was insanely glad for the thick, airbrushed make-up again because Jared didn’t seem to notice.
Instead, he jerked his head towards the set. “So we’re going to get some promotional shots down and then afterward, I get to treat Jensen and Lita to a little one-on-one time.” He looked back and forth between them with his generous smile and Jensen felt his knees getting just a little weak. “One of you will have a date tonight while the other will get one tomorrow afternoon. Sound fair?” To have a date that he didn’t have to share with anyone else? Oh hell yes. Jensen was totally for that and he could see that Lita was too. “Okay, good! So, this here is Vince, our photographer for the day and I’ve got to tell you guys, he’s absolutely fantastic. He’s actually shot me before but he’s most famous for doing magazine spreads for the likes of Vogue.”
Vince was also a short little man and Jensen could suddenly see why he surrounded himself with other short little people. It probably made him feel better because the man was a complete Napoleon. After Jared’s introduction, he immediately started issuing orders and positioning everyone just so. Jared, of course, ended up in the chair, sprawled out like a lazy king, with one leg cocked up over the arm and one hand twirling a crown.
Ben had been placed directly behind the right corner of the chair, standing at his familiar parade rest and just generally looking menacing with Georgie balancing him out on the other side. Danneel and Sandy were sprawled like Princess Leia in front with Justin in between them. Mike, Tom and Misha had been placed in what appeared to be random areas while Lita, as a challenge winner, was posed over Jared’s cocked leg, hands skating entirely too close to dangerous territory as far as Jensen was concerned.
And as for Jensen… “Get up on top of him,” Vince ordered, his face hidden behind his camera and Jensen wanted to know just exactly how the fuck that he was supposed to do that. Jared was taking up quite a bit of the chair and there didn’t look to be a safe place to put anything. “Closer!” Vince snapped and Jensen swallowed, meeting Jared’s eyes. Fuck it.
Throwing dignity out the damn window because, Jesus fucking Christ, he was on a reality show-dignity was completely overrated in such a medium-Jensen climbed on top of Jared, straddling his hips the way that he’d been dreaming of doing ever since watching Jared in Hunter’s Paradise. Fucking finally. Too bad that there’d had to be all these people around to get there but at least Jensen had the make-up to hide behind.
Jared’s eyes were wide but that was a pleased smile playing around at his lips and Jensen braced himself against the chair’s arm, making sure he was behind Jared in order to play to the camera and Jensen met Jared’s stare head-on. Jared’s hand-oh Jesus yes-raised to hold Jensen’s thigh, warm and solid as it formed a connection in the picture and served to help hold Jensen still at the same time. Jensen could even feel the slow chuckle raising Jared’s chest. “What happened to my shy Jen?” Jared asked, amused and Jensen snorted.
“He’s getting comfortable,” he replied back, mentally high-fiving himself for pulling the one-liner off smoothly.
“Now, Jen,” Jared shot back, his grin getting wider, “that can’t be comfortable.”
Jared had a point-the chair was abusing Jensen’s knee something fierce-but like Hell Jensen was moving at least until Vince told him to. Judging by the way the little man was moaning ‘oh yeah’ and ‘perfect’ and practically orgasming behind the camera, though, Jensen still had a while. “Look this way,” Vince ordered and Jensen dragged his eyes away from Jared’s gorgeous smile to stare down the camera, hearing the shutter click.
Jared’s hand was steadily sliding up Jensen’s leg, though, and any minute now he was going to be touching Jensen’s ass. Jensen was torn because he wanted to call Jared out on it but he didn’t exactly want it to stop either. Instead, he just faced wherever Vince directed him too and felt his skin tingle in anticipation, hoping and praying that Jared stopped teasing and reached his destination soon.
Before he could, Vince set down the camera and repositioned them and this time it was Lita on top of Jared and Jensen wasn’t going to growl. He wasn’t. Not even with the way she was curling up on Jared’s lap like she owed it.
They hit a few more poses, including the requisite ones of Ben flexing his arms and Sandy and Justin trying to out-cute the other. They’d also had put Sandy up on top of Jared, just for the facial recognition-double shot of fame never hurt the ratings-and there’d been the rather embarrassing incident of Justin attempting to climb up into Jared’s lap too, to get his share of the limelight but had ended up getting accidentally kicked by Sandy when she shifted. It all apparently came together, though, because after an hour or so of shooting, Vince held his camera up toward the ceiling and announced, “Time for the smaller group shots.”
The rest of the housemates were herded away and Jensen was left with just Jared and Lita and a flight of butterflies fluttering about in his stomach. Lita was openly staring at him, though, the challenge in her eyes unmistakable, and like Hell Jensen was going to take that lying down. So when Vince told them to move in close to Jared and Lita plastered herself to Jared’s side, Jensen made sure that he one-upped her, one hand raising to cup Jared’s jaw and focus Jared’s attention on Jensen. Vince had made a happy noise, clicking the camera again while Lita pouted and then Jensen was dealing with Lita’s wandering hands all over Jared. She pulled on Jared’s shirt, directing his attention downward to her while Jensen tried to use his height to his best advantage.
He knew that ‘fighting’ over their chosen man wasn’t exactly the most mature thing in the world but Jensen couldn’t actually resist. He was one step away from slapping Lita’s hands away. At one point, though, they’d both had had a death grip on Jared’s shirt and Jared had pulled a face that had Vince’s camera clicking furiously while the tiny man’s shoulders shook in suppressed laughter. Knowing he was acting ridiculously and that there’d be plenty of time to have Jared to himself later, Jensen actively released Jared’s shirt and tucked himself more firmly under the warmth of Jared’s arm. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lita accept the unspoken truce, mimicking Jensen’s position.
Vince’s camera clicked and whirled a few more times before he finally stood up from his crouch. “Looks good,” he announced and Jared grinned while Jensen attempting to catch his now racing heart.
“Yeah?” Jared said.
“Yeah,” Vince replied. “Want to see?” He hauled Jared over to the monitor to flip through a bit of the film, grinning from ear to ear. “The wonders of modern technology, huh?” Vince said, poking Jared in the ribs. Jared laughed and agreed while they flipped through a sample of the pictures.
Some made Jensen wince because yeah, what the hell had he been thinking, while a few others made him blush-like the couple that looked like he and Jared were painfully close to kissing or the multitudes where he was practically lying on top of the guy-others made him instantly jealous and while others just made him stop and stare because that was him? Wow. In Jensen’s opinion, Jared was damn near perfect in every shot but he had to admit that there were a few that made him think that perhaps he might just actually have a shot at winning this.
He soaked up the good with the bad and was surprised that a few pictures even looked good.
“Thanks so much, man,” Jared said, sticking out a hand that Vince heartily shook.
“No problem,” Vince replied. “Always a pleasure with you, Jared.” Then Vince and his army of teeny, tiny people were starting to pack up and Jensen was left alone with Jared. And Lita.
Jared smiled at both of them before deferring to the ground. “So,” he said, reaching out to grab their hands again and swinging them back and forth. “Now I’ve got to make a choice.” He glanced up, then, hazel eyes locking onto Jensen’s before sliding over to Lita. “One of you is getting a date starting right now while the other is going to have to wait until tomorrow.
Jensen swallowed and glanced down at the ground. Truth be told, he really didn’t know which one that he would prefer. Being chosen to go first would mean not having to wait, however being chosen for the second date would mean not having to spend tomorrow pining. More to the point, though, Jared’s hand felt really freaking good in Jensen’s and Jensen wanted another kiss.
“So, uh, Lita,” Jared said and Jensen kept his eyes lowered, not wanting to show disappointment just because Jared was saying someone else’s name. How utterly pathetic could he be? “I hope you don’t mind if I take Jensen out tonight?”
Jensen snapped his head up, staring at Jared who was focused on Lita while she reluctantly said yes. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” she said, leaning up to kiss his cheek and Jared smiled happily. Jensen deliberately kept his face neutral and eventually Jared let her go, turning around to Jensen. It was like the sun rising after a too long night.
Jared tugged Jensen closer and Jensen went willingly, letting himself rest against Jared’s chest while Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen. “Ready to go, then?” Jared murmured and Jensen didn’t think that there was any other answer to that question than a resounding ‘hell yes.’
Especially when Jared leaned down slightly and kissed him and it was just like Jensen remembered from last night but even better. He could melt right here and now except that he hopefully had an entire night of this to look forward to and who would ever want to miss that?
Part 4 | Master Post | Part 6