Fic: RPS (Jared/Jensen): Beautiful | NC-17 | 4340 words | Non-con
Title: Beautiful
Author: dragonspell
Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: NON-CON, creepy!Jared, somnophilia
Summary: Jared's been pining after an oblivious Jensen for awhile. When he comes across Jensen during a party, passed out on a bed, he gives in to his base desires. As long as Jensen doesn't wake up no one will have to know.
Word Count: 4340
A/N: Written for a spnkink_meme prompt. It's hard for me to write with homework due but apparently I just KICK out the porn like nobody's business. ~_~
He’s so fucking beautiful. It’s the first thing that Jared thinks when he finds him. His breath catches and he stares down at Jensen, passed out on the bed of the guest room. Jensen’s completely down for the count, doped up on alcohol and whatever else it was that Jared saw him popping downstairs at the party. It’s all added up into one hell of a cocktail that’s knocked Jensen out cold and Jared can’t help but stare at Jensen’s slack face. When Jensen’s awake, there’s always a kind of self-consciousness that hangs around him, a hardness that can make him seem older than what he is-a shell that he probably developed back when he was so damn pretty you could have put a wig on him and random straight guys would have been hitting on him day and night. Even with that outer edge, with the mask that Jensen regularly shows to the world, Jensen’s still so damn gorgeous that sometimes Jared has to stop and stare.
Without it now, though, there’s a softness to Jensen’s features and Jared’s once again brutally reminded of just how beautiful Jensen really is: his full, soft lips, partially parted and his ridiculously long eyelashes and his freckles-fuck, his freckles. Jared’s not a stranger to any of this-far from it-but sometimes it just hits him hard and throws him for a loop just like it’s the first time all over again.
Jared’s always known how hot Jensen is-he’s known it ever since the first time that he met Jensen back in that little room that Kripke put them in to stew a little while before letting them read together. Back then, Jared had just that Jensen was a good looking guy and left it at that. That was before he’d actually gotten to know the man that went with those green eyes and plush lips and that little bit of appreciation had blossomed into a full-fledged crush by the end of the first season. Now?
Now it’s kind of out of control.
It doesn’t help that Jared knows that Jensen doesn’t exactly return his feelings. Jared’s well aware of this because he’s gotten Jensen drunk enough to ‘fool around’ a couple of times and Jensen’s always only let him get in a few kisses before pushing him off with a laughing “God, Jay, we’re so fucking drunk!” or even a “Dude, you need to get laid if you’re so hard-up, you think I look good,” that’s slurred in the appropriate places and so full of Texas that Jared’s homesick and horny at the exact same time.
Right now, though, Jared’s hit with the very real realization that Jensen’s in no shape to push him away. In fact, judging by the massive amount of alcohol and ‘party favors’ that he consumed downstairs, Jensen’s in no shape to be pushing him away anytime soon. It’s so fucking wrong but Jared just can’t get past it and he’s not even bothering to think anymore as he steps into the room and quietly shuts and locks the door behind him.
He’s enough of a realist to know that he’ll never get an opportunity this good again. He’s got Jensen sprawled out on a bed, his long legs helpfully spread and, with the party abating downstairs, no one’s likely to come looking for them. Jared just can’t say no. Luckily for him, Jensen can’t either. The only thing that would make this better is if Jensen were awake enough to participate but, if that were to happen, then Jared knows that none of it would happen and he just can’t have that.
He moves quietly to the bed and gently touches Jensen’s head, stroking through his hair, just to check. Jensen doesn’t move, either too out of it to realize that he’s being touched or, Jared hopes, maybe even recognizing that it’s just Jared. Jensen’s never cared how much that Jared’s touched him and it has done nothing to help Jared’s crush. So, in a way, Jensen’s only been encouraging this moment to happen. Jared swallows back all of his second thoughts and pulls off his shirt, throwing it against the wall behind him before he kneels on the bed, the mattress dipping slightly beneath his weight.
He stretches out beside Jensen, studying his face and being sucker punched again with just how pretty Jensen really is. Jared silently slides a finger down Jensen’s cheek, cataloguing the feel of his skin and the shape of his face in a way that he’s never allowed himself to before. He moves his finger to Jensen’s mouth, pressing his fingertip against his bottom lip. It gives easily, soft and plush with just a hint of chappedness. Jared’s heart skips a beat when Jensen stirs but it’s only for a moment before Jensen sighs and settles back down, allowing Jared to continue touching him. Jensen parts his lips, soft breath blowing on Jared’s finger and as if Jared could resist an invitation that good. He pushes in, moving slowly and carefully and Jensen allows him until Jared’s finger is just barely inside Jensen’s mouth, touching the slickness of his tongue. Then Jensen’s moving again and Jared starts to panic, wondering how he would ever explain this if Jensen were to open his eyes right now, but Jensen’s lips close around Jared’s fingers and he’s sucking instinctively, obviously welcomingly, and Jared can’t breathe.
“Oh shit…” he whispers, watching Jensen lazily suck on him, his dick twitching madly in his jeans because of the sensation of Jensen’s tongue licking against the tip of his finger and the thought of what else he could possibly get Jensen to suck on and it’s a damn dream come true.
There’s no way that Jensen doesn’t want this as far as Jared’s concerned. Jensen might push him away and say no when he’s awake but his subconscious can’t lie, right? The fact that Jensen’s allowing this, that he’s not rolling away, has got to mean something. Jared’s sure of it. He’s not going to allow himself to think otherwise.
Jared pushes himself up and straddles Jensen, still watching Jensen’s mouth suck gently on his finger before he regretfully pulls away and strokes both of his hands down Jensen’s neck. He presses against the vulnerable skin of Jensen’s throat and Jensen does nothing, makes his way down to the edge of Jensen’s shirt and Jensen only sighs in his sleep. Jared bites his lip, holding back a groan and rocks his hips forward, grinding himself against Jensen’s stomach. The friction makes him shiver, makes his hands tremble and it’s all the more sweet because he knows that it’s Jensen underneath him. Finally, it’s Jensen and Jensen’s not going to push him away. Jared actually gets to have this.
Even if Jensen were to wake up and tell him no, Jared doesn’t think that he could stop now. Not when he’s had this taste.
Bracing himself against the bed, Jared leans down to give Jensen a soft kiss, barely there and slow because he knows that he has time. Jensen doesn’t react and Jared dares to press further, opening his own mouth just a little to lick at Jensen’s lips and even if Jensen’s not actively participating, Jared thinks that it still might be better than any of the drunken kisses he’s actually shared with Jensen before because as sweet as it was to have Jensen open willingly for him, to kiss back all soft lips and gently licking tongue, Jared knows that, this time, he doesn’t have to face rejection. At least not tonight. It’s heady and it’s enough to make up for the fact that he has to manually open Jensen’s mouth, applying gentle pressure on Jensen’s cheeks until his mouth obediently opens. Jared licks inside, trying to memorize everything all at once, from the way that Jensen tastes to how he feels against Jared. Jared licks at Jensen’s tongue and the caress is sleepily returned-finally, finally-an uncoordinated movement of Jensen’s tongue as Jensen moans quietly.
Jared pulls back and sucks in a quick breath of much needed air because all he wants to do right now is bury himself in Jensen and never come back out. It’s a dangerous state of mind to be in-mostly because he knows that he’ll forget himself and just rut against Jensen’s stomach until he comes messily in his jeans and then this entire opportunity will be wasted. Jared knows that if he’s going to do this, he should damn well go all the way. Jensen would never let Jared fuck him sober, so he should do it now while Jensen’s not saying no, while he’s moaning underneath Jared and holding so completely still for Jared to do as he pleases.
Jared drops his head against Jensen’s forehead and takes a few more quick breaths before pressing a kiss to Jensen’s temple and carefully unbuttoning Jensen’s shirt. The angle’s kind of odd but Jared’s definitely unbuttoned more than a few shirts in his time-even Jensen’s-and he makes quick work of them, pulling Jensen’s shirttails out of his jeans and opening the shirt completely, pushing it off to either side and baring Jensen’s thin T-shirt underneath.
Kissing down Jensen’s face, Jared lets himself indulge a little, pushing up Jensen’s T-shirt to get at the warm skin underneath. He moves his hands along Jensen’s stomach, feeling the hard, solid muscle underneath the thin layer of softness. He digs his fingers in a little, as far as he can and shivers at the knowledge that he can finally touch Jensen like this-just how he’s always wanted. He’s seen Jensen shirtless-pantless-too many times to count but he’s never been allowed to touch this freely.
He shoves Jensen’s T-shirt up the rest of the way, to just underneath his armpits and finally looks his fill, too. There’s no surreptitious glances or hastily averting his eyes to stare at the wall. Instead, he gets to look as long as he wants-as long as he can stand it. Jared moves his hands up Jensen’s stomach, memorizing each dip and ridge as he makes his way up to cup over Jensen’s nipples. He runs his thumbs over them and watches with rapt attention while Jensen squirms in his sleep. Then he does it again. And again and again until he can’t stand it any longer and bends his head down to suck one of the raised buds into his mouth, licking at it and making Jensen squirm some more. Jensen moans and tries to turn away but Jared pins him flat and he quickly subsides, letting Jared do as he pleases.
And, when Jared moves a hand down between Jensen’s legs, he finds a bulge growing there. When Jared cups him, Jensen helpfully parts his legs even more, giving Jared space to fit his whole hand which Jared does, his fingers pressing between Jensen’s legs, rubbing over the roughness of Jensen’s jeans while he presses against the roundness of Jensen’s balls.
Jared gives Jensen another lingering kiss and grinds himself against Jensen again, this time against Jensen’s thigh because he can’t bear to move his hand away from Jensen’s slowly growing cock.
Jensen doesn’t protest as Jared pulls him, just leans like dead weight as Jared wrestles his shirts off of him but Jared doesn’t care because at least Jensen’s not pushing him away. He can take a lack of cooperation. It’s much better than a flat out rejection. He carefully maneuvers Jensen out of his over shirt one arm at a time and then pulls his T-shirt up over his head. Jensen slumps back to the bed when Jared lets him go and Jared busies himself with pulling at Jensen’s belt buckle, undoing it quickly. He gives Jensen another quick kiss that Jensen sluggishly returns as Jared rubs him through his jeans again before he finally unzips Jensen’s jeans and pushes them down.
Jensen’s filling out his underwear quite well, his cock full and just barely contained and Jared doesn’t even hesitate before delving his hands underneath the waistband and burying himself in the warm heat that Jensen’s been generating. Jensen arches upward as Jared’s hand closes around his full dick, hips rolling, and Jared licks his lips. He drags Jensen’s underwear down and gets his first full look at Jensen’s cock.
He’s seen Jensen naked before-hard to miss when they both have to change in the same room from time to time-but it’s always only been a quick peek at Jensen’s soft cock hanging shyly between his legs, half hidden by shadows as Jensen bends over before it’s gone, covered up by Jensen’s underwear. Now, though, it’s out and proud, lying thick against the paleness of Jensen’s skin, flushed red and it’s so damn gorgeous that Jared just can’t help himself. He seals his mouth over the head of Jensen’s cock, sucking on him like a man dying of thirst.
He licks eagerly at Jensen’s slit, tasting a hint of precome and Jensen moans sleepily, his hands batting at Jared’s head. Jared catches Jensen’s hands, holding him still and continues to suck, wanting to remember just how Jensen feels in his mouth, how he tastes. After awhile, Jensen’s hands cease twitching and, when Jared lets them go, they gently stroke over his head. Jared purrs happily, encouragingly, and Jensen rolls his hips, pushing himself up into Jared’s mouth.
Jared knows that Jensen so wants this. He could deny it all he wanted in the light of day, but there’s no denying how he’s all but begging Jared to continue on right now. And Jared doesn’t have it in him to say no. He gives Jensen a final lick and lifts off of him, leaning over to fumble through the nightstand beside the bed, hoping against hope that there’s at least something useable in the drawer as Jensen grinds against him. Jared takes a deep breath, shuddering at the feel of Jensen’s wet cock moving against him, before his hands close around a cylindrical bottle. He pulls it out, breathing a quick prayer and feels his heart skip a beat when he realizes that it’s definitely lube and thank fuck for whoever thought to put it in there. His hands are trembling as he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his wallet, fumbling for one of the condoms he keeps stashed before he folds it back up, shoves it back into his pocket and yanks down his jeans. He takes a moment to wrestle himself out of his pants before coming back to Jensen who’s still lying where Jared left him, legs still spread invitingly and breathing slowly and regularly. His cock is still lying full and heavy against his stomach, curving just slightly to the right and Jared has to remind himself to breath again.
He runs his eyes up Jensen’s body, naked and on display just for him, and catalogues every curve and line as he makes his way back up to Jensen’s face. Jensen’s lips are parted again, his breathing quicker than before and his lashes fluttering as his body keeps moving slowly beneath Jared. Jared jerks his hips forward and presses another few quick kisses to Jensen’s tempting mouth. Jensen moans and tries to kiss back but he moves too sluggishly and Jared can’t hold still. He kisses his way down Jensen’s throat, trying hard to resist the urge to mark Jensen up the way that he wants.
Knowing that he’s not going to be able to hold himself back much longer, Jared grabs a pillow and pushes it underneath Jensen’s hips, canting him up to a better angle. He pops the lid of the lube that he found, drizzling it over the fingers of one hand while his other wraps around Jensen’s dick and Jensen pushes up into his grip but makes no move to get away. Not even when Jared presses a few slicked fingers against Jensen’s puckered entrance. Instead, he lets his legs hang open and Jared takes a steadying breath before he pushes into the tight heat of Jensen’s body.
Jensen tenses and moans, trying to wiggle away but Jared doesn’t let him go, pinning him with his knees as he pushes deeper inside of Jensen and strokes his cock. “Easy, Jen…” he whispers. “It’s alright. I’ve got you…” He crooks his fingers upward to find Jensen’s prostate, rubbing against it and, with a shudder, Jensen stops trying to get away, instead lying complacent once again. “See?” Jared said. “That’s not so bad, now is it?” He leans down to kiss Jensen’s throat again, nipping at his skin and Jensen just tilts his head away, giving Jared more room.
Jared starts to pant because his dick is throbbing and he knows that he’s so damn close to losing it. It's the thought of having Jensen underneath him, spread open and waiting and he’s about to fuck Jensen. Jared bites his lip and has to let go of Jensen for a split second to grab the base of his own cock before he comes all over Jensen’s lax body. Jensen moans in disappointment and Jared groans. “Fuck…” he says.
He slides his fingers in and out of Jensen, wanting to prep him good but not having the patience to quite pull it off like he should and it doesn’t help that Jensen seems to be moving with him, his hips lazily moving with each thrust of Jared’s fingers. Jared kisses Jensen’s chest, working his way back over to a nipple, making Jensen arch up into his mouth as he sucks and nips at the hardening bud.
It has to be enough because Jared just can’t take it anymore. He’s about to come and he’ll never be able to have another chance at this. If Jensen were to wake up right now, at this moment, Jared knows for a fact that their friendship would be over-there’d be no amount of explaining that could possibly rationalize this but he just doesn’t care. He’s waited way too long for his. Jared grabs the condom and tears it open, hurriedly rolling it onto his dick, trying not to touch himself as much as possible as Jensen keeps writhing on the bed and, God, but he’s so fucking gorgeous. Jared wants to make Jensen his. One little mark wouldn’t hurt, right? Jensen would never even have a clue.
Jared swallows hard and moves downward before he can change his mind. He’s going to do this, just leave a little souvenir that only he will know and it won’t matter. He lifts Jensen’s legs and spreads them as wide as he’s able, putting his mouth on the sensitive skin of Jensen’s inner thigh. Jensen twitches beneath him as Jared slowly licks the skin at the join of his thigh and buttock and he whimpers as Jared gently bites down on the beginning of the swell of Jensen’s ass. Ignoring the way that Jensen’s moving beneath him and the way that Jensen’s hands are hitting against him again, Jared sucks a small bruise into the skin, stroking Jensen’s cock with his free hand, keeping him interested.
He wants to make this good for Jensen, after all.
Jensen’s whining softly by the time that Jared’s finished and, when Jared gives him another kiss, Jensen opens his mouth for it, letting Jared’s tongue slip inside. “Yeah,” Jared whispers. “Yeah, you’re ready for it?” He lines himself up, rocking back and forth on the bed impatiently and trying to maneuver himself as close as possible. “Yeah, I’m ready, too…” And he starts the slow push in.
Jensen arches upward, hissing, but Jared holds him still, not letting him go anywhere because the tight heat slowly sliding over the head of his dick is too damn delicious to let go. Jensen opens so sweetly for Jared. He’s jerking his head from side to side but there’s nowhere for him to go. He’s got no other choice but to just sit back and take it. It’s so damn perfect, Jensen so damn nice around Jared’s dick, that Jared can’t think of anywhere he’d rather be.
And, though it might be wrong, he feels a slight, perverse sense of satisfaction that, after years of solid rejections, Jensen’s got no choice but to say yes, now. Jared firmly pushes the thought of why away and just enjoys the pleasure-filled thump of his heart that it causes.
There’s nothing even about Jensen’s breathing now-it’s all quick, erratic pants, broken every now and then as Jensen stops to moan. His dick is still hard when Jared wraps a fist around it and he kisses underneath Jensen’s jaw in reward, making Jensen moan again. Unable to hold himself back, Jared rocks himself deeper inside of Jensen. He wants to go slow, he doesn’t want to hurt Jensen, he just doesn’t have much patience left. So he goes as slow as he’s able, his fingers feathering over Jensen’s dick, keeping him interested.
Jensen takes whatever Jared gives him and it’s not too long at all before he’s rocking his hips with Jared’s. Jared nips at Jensen’s throat and starts to fuck him in earnest, Jensen’s tight heat nearly driving him out of his damn mind. Proud, reserved, straight Jensen is mewling and writhing better than any whore underneath Jared and it’s so damn good that Jared is about to lose it. He’s so damn close-years in the making.
They’ve spent so long on ‘foreplay’ that Jared knows that he just doesn’t have it in him to last anymore. There’s only one thing that he wants to do first. He keeps fucking Jensen steadily as his hand speeds up on Jensen’s cock, throwing in a little twist over the head at the end and he knows that there’s no way that Jensen can hold out, either.
Jensen whines as he suddenly comes and Jared has a heart-stopping moment as Jensen’s eyes flutter open for half a second but they’re dazed, blown wide, and then Jensen’s out cold again, his body just jerking through the aftershocks of his orgasm with his face slack from the pleasure. He’s the most beautiful thing that Jared’s ever seen. Jared keeps fucking him, speeding up, getting rougher and rougher the closer that he gets. Jensen weakly smacks his hands against Jared’s shoulders, trying to push him away but Jared’s right there and then he’s coming, pulsing into the condom and Jensen gives a full body shiver, betraying himself.
Jared purrs and nudges at Jensen’s ear, pleased because Jensen’s mouth might tell him no but Jensen’s body knows differently. And now Jared does, too.
Jensen stumbles down the stairs and Jared can’t help but stare at him because Jensen looks wrecked and yet somehow gorgeous at the same time. Luckily, Jensen seems to be too out of it to notice Jared’s unusually rapt attention and he’s rubbing at the spots on his neck that Jared tried so hard not to leave.
Jensen stumbles to the kitchen table and slams himself down in a chair before he hisses and thinks better of it, lurching to his feet again. “Hey, Jay…” Jensen mutters, rubbing at his face. All Jared can think of is flashes of last night and how amazing it was to finally get a chance to fuck Jensen-to finally be able to do what he’d been wanting for years. There’s a kernel of guilt about it, but it’s buried-there’s no way that Jensen can know, right? Jared should be fine. Except for the fact that he knows that once will never be enough. Now that he’s gotten a taste, he knows that he’s going to have to do it again and he’s already thinking about how he’s going to arrange a next time. He knows that it will take some doing and that Jensen probably won’t be as blindly trusting but he also knows that he doesn’t have a choice in this. He has to do it. And he also knows that Jensen’s body will give it up, no matter what Jensen’s opinions are on the matter.
“Hey, Jen,” Jared replied softly. “Rough night?” He tries to keep his voice as casual as possible and apparently he’s not an actor for nothing because Jensen doesn’t notice a thing.
“…I, uh, got a little fucked-up last night,” Jensen says, like it’s a big confession and Jared nods. Anyone that had seen Jensen last night would agree. Jensen realizes. “I think I, uh…” Jensen swallows and looks away. He’s biting his lip and Jared wants to kiss him. “I think I might have…” Jensen suddenly snaps his eyes to meet Jared’s and Jared’s stomach flips over at the sheer amount of worry that Jensen’s trying to hide. “I suppose you didn’t… Who did I sleep with, Jared?”
Jared wants to crow, to claim last night’s handiwork that is peppering Jensen’s throat but he knows that he doesn’t dare. Instead, he shrugs and looks confused. “I don’t know, dude…”
Jensen inhales sharply and buries his head in his hands and Jared knows exactly what role he’s supposed to play now. He gets up and pulls Jensen into a hug, Jensen fighting him just a little before giving in to what he really wants and letting himself be comforted. “Hey,” Jared says softly, stroking Jensen’s hair as Jensen drops his forehead against Jared’s shoulder, trying to hide from the world. “Hey, it’s okay, man. You were a little messed up last night. It happens.”
“Not to me,” Jensen mutters and it’s so quiet that Jared just barely makes it out.
“It’s okay,” Jared repeats and Jensen falls silent, with only the slight shaking of his shoulders to let Jared know that Jensen’s still with him. Jared holds him tightly as Jensen pretends not to cry. And it’s horrible and he knows it but all he can think about is that Jensen’s so fucking beautiful when he cries.
Author: dragonspell
Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: NON-CON, creepy!Jared, somnophilia
Summary: Jared's been pining after an oblivious Jensen for awhile. When he comes across Jensen during a party, passed out on a bed, he gives in to his base desires. As long as Jensen doesn't wake up no one will have to know.
Word Count: 4340
A/N: Written for a spnkink_meme prompt. It's hard for me to write with homework due but apparently I just KICK out the porn like nobody's business. ~_~
He’s so fucking beautiful. It’s the first thing that Jared thinks when he finds him. His breath catches and he stares down at Jensen, passed out on the bed of the guest room. Jensen’s completely down for the count, doped up on alcohol and whatever else it was that Jared saw him popping downstairs at the party. It’s all added up into one hell of a cocktail that’s knocked Jensen out cold and Jared can’t help but stare at Jensen’s slack face. When Jensen’s awake, there’s always a kind of self-consciousness that hangs around him, a hardness that can make him seem older than what he is-a shell that he probably developed back when he was so damn pretty you could have put a wig on him and random straight guys would have been hitting on him day and night. Even with that outer edge, with the mask that Jensen regularly shows to the world, Jensen’s still so damn gorgeous that sometimes Jared has to stop and stare.
Without it now, though, there’s a softness to Jensen’s features and Jared’s once again brutally reminded of just how beautiful Jensen really is: his full, soft lips, partially parted and his ridiculously long eyelashes and his freckles-fuck, his freckles. Jared’s not a stranger to any of this-far from it-but sometimes it just hits him hard and throws him for a loop just like it’s the first time all over again.
Jared’s always known how hot Jensen is-he’s known it ever since the first time that he met Jensen back in that little room that Kripke put them in to stew a little while before letting them read together. Back then, Jared had just that Jensen was a good looking guy and left it at that. That was before he’d actually gotten to know the man that went with those green eyes and plush lips and that little bit of appreciation had blossomed into a full-fledged crush by the end of the first season. Now?
Now it’s kind of out of control.
It doesn’t help that Jared knows that Jensen doesn’t exactly return his feelings. Jared’s well aware of this because he’s gotten Jensen drunk enough to ‘fool around’ a couple of times and Jensen’s always only let him get in a few kisses before pushing him off with a laughing “God, Jay, we’re so fucking drunk!” or even a “Dude, you need to get laid if you’re so hard-up, you think I look good,” that’s slurred in the appropriate places and so full of Texas that Jared’s homesick and horny at the exact same time.
Right now, though, Jared’s hit with the very real realization that Jensen’s in no shape to push him away. In fact, judging by the massive amount of alcohol and ‘party favors’ that he consumed downstairs, Jensen’s in no shape to be pushing him away anytime soon. It’s so fucking wrong but Jared just can’t get past it and he’s not even bothering to think anymore as he steps into the room and quietly shuts and locks the door behind him.
He’s enough of a realist to know that he’ll never get an opportunity this good again. He’s got Jensen sprawled out on a bed, his long legs helpfully spread and, with the party abating downstairs, no one’s likely to come looking for them. Jared just can’t say no. Luckily for him, Jensen can’t either. The only thing that would make this better is if Jensen were awake enough to participate but, if that were to happen, then Jared knows that none of it would happen and he just can’t have that.
He moves quietly to the bed and gently touches Jensen’s head, stroking through his hair, just to check. Jensen doesn’t move, either too out of it to realize that he’s being touched or, Jared hopes, maybe even recognizing that it’s just Jared. Jensen’s never cared how much that Jared’s touched him and it has done nothing to help Jared’s crush. So, in a way, Jensen’s only been encouraging this moment to happen. Jared swallows back all of his second thoughts and pulls off his shirt, throwing it against the wall behind him before he kneels on the bed, the mattress dipping slightly beneath his weight.
He stretches out beside Jensen, studying his face and being sucker punched again with just how pretty Jensen really is. Jared silently slides a finger down Jensen’s cheek, cataloguing the feel of his skin and the shape of his face in a way that he’s never allowed himself to before. He moves his finger to Jensen’s mouth, pressing his fingertip against his bottom lip. It gives easily, soft and plush with just a hint of chappedness. Jared’s heart skips a beat when Jensen stirs but it’s only for a moment before Jensen sighs and settles back down, allowing Jared to continue touching him. Jensen parts his lips, soft breath blowing on Jared’s finger and as if Jared could resist an invitation that good. He pushes in, moving slowly and carefully and Jensen allows him until Jared’s finger is just barely inside Jensen’s mouth, touching the slickness of his tongue. Then Jensen’s moving again and Jared starts to panic, wondering how he would ever explain this if Jensen were to open his eyes right now, but Jensen’s lips close around Jared’s fingers and he’s sucking instinctively, obviously welcomingly, and Jared can’t breathe.
“Oh shit…” he whispers, watching Jensen lazily suck on him, his dick twitching madly in his jeans because of the sensation of Jensen’s tongue licking against the tip of his finger and the thought of what else he could possibly get Jensen to suck on and it’s a damn dream come true.
There’s no way that Jensen doesn’t want this as far as Jared’s concerned. Jensen might push him away and say no when he’s awake but his subconscious can’t lie, right? The fact that Jensen’s allowing this, that he’s not rolling away, has got to mean something. Jared’s sure of it. He’s not going to allow himself to think otherwise.
Jared pushes himself up and straddles Jensen, still watching Jensen’s mouth suck gently on his finger before he regretfully pulls away and strokes both of his hands down Jensen’s neck. He presses against the vulnerable skin of Jensen’s throat and Jensen does nothing, makes his way down to the edge of Jensen’s shirt and Jensen only sighs in his sleep. Jared bites his lip, holding back a groan and rocks his hips forward, grinding himself against Jensen’s stomach. The friction makes him shiver, makes his hands tremble and it’s all the more sweet because he knows that it’s Jensen underneath him. Finally, it’s Jensen and Jensen’s not going to push him away. Jared actually gets to have this.
Even if Jensen were to wake up and tell him no, Jared doesn’t think that he could stop now. Not when he’s had this taste.
Bracing himself against the bed, Jared leans down to give Jensen a soft kiss, barely there and slow because he knows that he has time. Jensen doesn’t react and Jared dares to press further, opening his own mouth just a little to lick at Jensen’s lips and even if Jensen’s not actively participating, Jared thinks that it still might be better than any of the drunken kisses he’s actually shared with Jensen before because as sweet as it was to have Jensen open willingly for him, to kiss back all soft lips and gently licking tongue, Jared knows that, this time, he doesn’t have to face rejection. At least not tonight. It’s heady and it’s enough to make up for the fact that he has to manually open Jensen’s mouth, applying gentle pressure on Jensen’s cheeks until his mouth obediently opens. Jared licks inside, trying to memorize everything all at once, from the way that Jensen tastes to how he feels against Jared. Jared licks at Jensen’s tongue and the caress is sleepily returned-finally, finally-an uncoordinated movement of Jensen’s tongue as Jensen moans quietly.
Jared pulls back and sucks in a quick breath of much needed air because all he wants to do right now is bury himself in Jensen and never come back out. It’s a dangerous state of mind to be in-mostly because he knows that he’ll forget himself and just rut against Jensen’s stomach until he comes messily in his jeans and then this entire opportunity will be wasted. Jared knows that if he’s going to do this, he should damn well go all the way. Jensen would never let Jared fuck him sober, so he should do it now while Jensen’s not saying no, while he’s moaning underneath Jared and holding so completely still for Jared to do as he pleases.
Jared drops his head against Jensen’s forehead and takes a few more quick breaths before pressing a kiss to Jensen’s temple and carefully unbuttoning Jensen’s shirt. The angle’s kind of odd but Jared’s definitely unbuttoned more than a few shirts in his time-even Jensen’s-and he makes quick work of them, pulling Jensen’s shirttails out of his jeans and opening the shirt completely, pushing it off to either side and baring Jensen’s thin T-shirt underneath.
Kissing down Jensen’s face, Jared lets himself indulge a little, pushing up Jensen’s T-shirt to get at the warm skin underneath. He moves his hands along Jensen’s stomach, feeling the hard, solid muscle underneath the thin layer of softness. He digs his fingers in a little, as far as he can and shivers at the knowledge that he can finally touch Jensen like this-just how he’s always wanted. He’s seen Jensen shirtless-pantless-too many times to count but he’s never been allowed to touch this freely.
He shoves Jensen’s T-shirt up the rest of the way, to just underneath his armpits and finally looks his fill, too. There’s no surreptitious glances or hastily averting his eyes to stare at the wall. Instead, he gets to look as long as he wants-as long as he can stand it. Jared moves his hands up Jensen’s stomach, memorizing each dip and ridge as he makes his way up to cup over Jensen’s nipples. He runs his thumbs over them and watches with rapt attention while Jensen squirms in his sleep. Then he does it again. And again and again until he can’t stand it any longer and bends his head down to suck one of the raised buds into his mouth, licking at it and making Jensen squirm some more. Jensen moans and tries to turn away but Jared pins him flat and he quickly subsides, letting Jared do as he pleases.
And, when Jared moves a hand down between Jensen’s legs, he finds a bulge growing there. When Jared cups him, Jensen helpfully parts his legs even more, giving Jared space to fit his whole hand which Jared does, his fingers pressing between Jensen’s legs, rubbing over the roughness of Jensen’s jeans while he presses against the roundness of Jensen’s balls.
Jared gives Jensen another lingering kiss and grinds himself against Jensen again, this time against Jensen’s thigh because he can’t bear to move his hand away from Jensen’s slowly growing cock.
Jensen doesn’t protest as Jared pulls him, just leans like dead weight as Jared wrestles his shirts off of him but Jared doesn’t care because at least Jensen’s not pushing him away. He can take a lack of cooperation. It’s much better than a flat out rejection. He carefully maneuvers Jensen out of his over shirt one arm at a time and then pulls his T-shirt up over his head. Jensen slumps back to the bed when Jared lets him go and Jared busies himself with pulling at Jensen’s belt buckle, undoing it quickly. He gives Jensen another quick kiss that Jensen sluggishly returns as Jared rubs him through his jeans again before he finally unzips Jensen’s jeans and pushes them down.
Jensen’s filling out his underwear quite well, his cock full and just barely contained and Jared doesn’t even hesitate before delving his hands underneath the waistband and burying himself in the warm heat that Jensen’s been generating. Jensen arches upward as Jared’s hand closes around his full dick, hips rolling, and Jared licks his lips. He drags Jensen’s underwear down and gets his first full look at Jensen’s cock.
He’s seen Jensen naked before-hard to miss when they both have to change in the same room from time to time-but it’s always only been a quick peek at Jensen’s soft cock hanging shyly between his legs, half hidden by shadows as Jensen bends over before it’s gone, covered up by Jensen’s underwear. Now, though, it’s out and proud, lying thick against the paleness of Jensen’s skin, flushed red and it’s so damn gorgeous that Jared just can’t help himself. He seals his mouth over the head of Jensen’s cock, sucking on him like a man dying of thirst.
He licks eagerly at Jensen’s slit, tasting a hint of precome and Jensen moans sleepily, his hands batting at Jared’s head. Jared catches Jensen’s hands, holding him still and continues to suck, wanting to remember just how Jensen feels in his mouth, how he tastes. After awhile, Jensen’s hands cease twitching and, when Jared lets them go, they gently stroke over his head. Jared purrs happily, encouragingly, and Jensen rolls his hips, pushing himself up into Jared’s mouth.
Jared knows that Jensen so wants this. He could deny it all he wanted in the light of day, but there’s no denying how he’s all but begging Jared to continue on right now. And Jared doesn’t have it in him to say no. He gives Jensen a final lick and lifts off of him, leaning over to fumble through the nightstand beside the bed, hoping against hope that there’s at least something useable in the drawer as Jensen grinds against him. Jared takes a deep breath, shuddering at the feel of Jensen’s wet cock moving against him, before his hands close around a cylindrical bottle. He pulls it out, breathing a quick prayer and feels his heart skip a beat when he realizes that it’s definitely lube and thank fuck for whoever thought to put it in there. His hands are trembling as he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his wallet, fumbling for one of the condoms he keeps stashed before he folds it back up, shoves it back into his pocket and yanks down his jeans. He takes a moment to wrestle himself out of his pants before coming back to Jensen who’s still lying where Jared left him, legs still spread invitingly and breathing slowly and regularly. His cock is still lying full and heavy against his stomach, curving just slightly to the right and Jared has to remind himself to breath again.
He runs his eyes up Jensen’s body, naked and on display just for him, and catalogues every curve and line as he makes his way back up to Jensen’s face. Jensen’s lips are parted again, his breathing quicker than before and his lashes fluttering as his body keeps moving slowly beneath Jared. Jared jerks his hips forward and presses another few quick kisses to Jensen’s tempting mouth. Jensen moans and tries to kiss back but he moves too sluggishly and Jared can’t hold still. He kisses his way down Jensen’s throat, trying hard to resist the urge to mark Jensen up the way that he wants.
Knowing that he’s not going to be able to hold himself back much longer, Jared grabs a pillow and pushes it underneath Jensen’s hips, canting him up to a better angle. He pops the lid of the lube that he found, drizzling it over the fingers of one hand while his other wraps around Jensen’s dick and Jensen pushes up into his grip but makes no move to get away. Not even when Jared presses a few slicked fingers against Jensen’s puckered entrance. Instead, he lets his legs hang open and Jared takes a steadying breath before he pushes into the tight heat of Jensen’s body.
Jensen tenses and moans, trying to wiggle away but Jared doesn’t let him go, pinning him with his knees as he pushes deeper inside of Jensen and strokes his cock. “Easy, Jen…” he whispers. “It’s alright. I’ve got you…” He crooks his fingers upward to find Jensen’s prostate, rubbing against it and, with a shudder, Jensen stops trying to get away, instead lying complacent once again. “See?” Jared said. “That’s not so bad, now is it?” He leans down to kiss Jensen’s throat again, nipping at his skin and Jensen just tilts his head away, giving Jared more room.
Jared starts to pant because his dick is throbbing and he knows that he’s so damn close to losing it. It's the thought of having Jensen underneath him, spread open and waiting and he’s about to fuck Jensen. Jared bites his lip and has to let go of Jensen for a split second to grab the base of his own cock before he comes all over Jensen’s lax body. Jensen moans in disappointment and Jared groans. “Fuck…” he says.
He slides his fingers in and out of Jensen, wanting to prep him good but not having the patience to quite pull it off like he should and it doesn’t help that Jensen seems to be moving with him, his hips lazily moving with each thrust of Jared’s fingers. Jared kisses Jensen’s chest, working his way back over to a nipple, making Jensen arch up into his mouth as he sucks and nips at the hardening bud.
It has to be enough because Jared just can’t take it anymore. He’s about to come and he’ll never be able to have another chance at this. If Jensen were to wake up right now, at this moment, Jared knows for a fact that their friendship would be over-there’d be no amount of explaining that could possibly rationalize this but he just doesn’t care. He’s waited way too long for his. Jared grabs the condom and tears it open, hurriedly rolling it onto his dick, trying not to touch himself as much as possible as Jensen keeps writhing on the bed and, God, but he’s so fucking gorgeous. Jared wants to make Jensen his. One little mark wouldn’t hurt, right? Jensen would never even have a clue.
Jared swallows hard and moves downward before he can change his mind. He’s going to do this, just leave a little souvenir that only he will know and it won’t matter. He lifts Jensen’s legs and spreads them as wide as he’s able, putting his mouth on the sensitive skin of Jensen’s inner thigh. Jensen twitches beneath him as Jared slowly licks the skin at the join of his thigh and buttock and he whimpers as Jared gently bites down on the beginning of the swell of Jensen’s ass. Ignoring the way that Jensen’s moving beneath him and the way that Jensen’s hands are hitting against him again, Jared sucks a small bruise into the skin, stroking Jensen’s cock with his free hand, keeping him interested.
He wants to make this good for Jensen, after all.
Jensen’s whining softly by the time that Jared’s finished and, when Jared gives him another kiss, Jensen opens his mouth for it, letting Jared’s tongue slip inside. “Yeah,” Jared whispers. “Yeah, you’re ready for it?” He lines himself up, rocking back and forth on the bed impatiently and trying to maneuver himself as close as possible. “Yeah, I’m ready, too…” And he starts the slow push in.
Jensen arches upward, hissing, but Jared holds him still, not letting him go anywhere because the tight heat slowly sliding over the head of his dick is too damn delicious to let go. Jensen opens so sweetly for Jared. He’s jerking his head from side to side but there’s nowhere for him to go. He’s got no other choice but to just sit back and take it. It’s so damn perfect, Jensen so damn nice around Jared’s dick, that Jared can’t think of anywhere he’d rather be.
And, though it might be wrong, he feels a slight, perverse sense of satisfaction that, after years of solid rejections, Jensen’s got no choice but to say yes, now. Jared firmly pushes the thought of why away and just enjoys the pleasure-filled thump of his heart that it causes.
There’s nothing even about Jensen’s breathing now-it’s all quick, erratic pants, broken every now and then as Jensen stops to moan. His dick is still hard when Jared wraps a fist around it and he kisses underneath Jensen’s jaw in reward, making Jensen moan again. Unable to hold himself back, Jared rocks himself deeper inside of Jensen. He wants to go slow, he doesn’t want to hurt Jensen, he just doesn’t have much patience left. So he goes as slow as he’s able, his fingers feathering over Jensen’s dick, keeping him interested.
Jensen takes whatever Jared gives him and it’s not too long at all before he’s rocking his hips with Jared’s. Jared nips at Jensen’s throat and starts to fuck him in earnest, Jensen’s tight heat nearly driving him out of his damn mind. Proud, reserved, straight Jensen is mewling and writhing better than any whore underneath Jared and it’s so damn good that Jared is about to lose it. He’s so damn close-years in the making.
They’ve spent so long on ‘foreplay’ that Jared knows that he just doesn’t have it in him to last anymore. There’s only one thing that he wants to do first. He keeps fucking Jensen steadily as his hand speeds up on Jensen’s cock, throwing in a little twist over the head at the end and he knows that there’s no way that Jensen can hold out, either.
Jensen whines as he suddenly comes and Jared has a heart-stopping moment as Jensen’s eyes flutter open for half a second but they’re dazed, blown wide, and then Jensen’s out cold again, his body just jerking through the aftershocks of his orgasm with his face slack from the pleasure. He’s the most beautiful thing that Jared’s ever seen. Jared keeps fucking him, speeding up, getting rougher and rougher the closer that he gets. Jensen weakly smacks his hands against Jared’s shoulders, trying to push him away but Jared’s right there and then he’s coming, pulsing into the condom and Jensen gives a full body shiver, betraying himself.
Jared purrs and nudges at Jensen’s ear, pleased because Jensen’s mouth might tell him no but Jensen’s body knows differently. And now Jared does, too.
Jensen stumbles down the stairs and Jared can’t help but stare at him because Jensen looks wrecked and yet somehow gorgeous at the same time. Luckily, Jensen seems to be too out of it to notice Jared’s unusually rapt attention and he’s rubbing at the spots on his neck that Jared tried so hard not to leave.
Jensen stumbles to the kitchen table and slams himself down in a chair before he hisses and thinks better of it, lurching to his feet again. “Hey, Jay…” Jensen mutters, rubbing at his face. All Jared can think of is flashes of last night and how amazing it was to finally get a chance to fuck Jensen-to finally be able to do what he’d been wanting for years. There’s a kernel of guilt about it, but it’s buried-there’s no way that Jensen can know, right? Jared should be fine. Except for the fact that he knows that once will never be enough. Now that he’s gotten a taste, he knows that he’s going to have to do it again and he’s already thinking about how he’s going to arrange a next time. He knows that it will take some doing and that Jensen probably won’t be as blindly trusting but he also knows that he doesn’t have a choice in this. He has to do it. And he also knows that Jensen’s body will give it up, no matter what Jensen’s opinions are on the matter.
“Hey, Jen,” Jared replied softly. “Rough night?” He tries to keep his voice as casual as possible and apparently he’s not an actor for nothing because Jensen doesn’t notice a thing.
“…I, uh, got a little fucked-up last night,” Jensen says, like it’s a big confession and Jared nods. Anyone that had seen Jensen last night would agree. Jensen realizes. “I think I, uh…” Jensen swallows and looks away. He’s biting his lip and Jared wants to kiss him. “I think I might have…” Jensen suddenly snaps his eyes to meet Jared’s and Jared’s stomach flips over at the sheer amount of worry that Jensen’s trying to hide. “I suppose you didn’t… Who did I sleep with, Jared?”
Jared wants to crow, to claim last night’s handiwork that is peppering Jensen’s throat but he knows that he doesn’t dare. Instead, he shrugs and looks confused. “I don’t know, dude…”
Jensen inhales sharply and buries his head in his hands and Jared knows exactly what role he’s supposed to play now. He gets up and pulls Jensen into a hug, Jensen fighting him just a little before giving in to what he really wants and letting himself be comforted. “Hey,” Jared says softly, stroking Jensen’s hair as Jensen drops his forehead against Jared’s shoulder, trying to hide from the world. “Hey, it’s okay, man. You were a little messed up last night. It happens.”
“Not to me,” Jensen mutters and it’s so quiet that Jared just barely makes it out.
“It’s okay,” Jared repeats and Jensen falls silent, with only the slight shaking of his shoulders to let Jared know that Jensen’s still with him. Jared holds him tightly as Jensen pretends not to cry. And it’s horrible and he knows it but all he can think about is that Jensen’s so fucking beautiful when he cries.