(Untitled)

[dragonwhishes]

So - all of the regular readers of my journal know that my Grandpa's in a nursing home for physical therapy right now, and most people that know me know I'm volunteering there. I figured it'd be an interesting enough post, and some people actually wanted to hear about it, so here we go

Comments

[mellifluous_ink]

Grandma told me not to bug anybody... and I said yes... but didn't quite follow the first one word for word.

How is responding to another person and being helpful 'bugging' them, exactly? There is a large chasm between interacting with people and bugging people. I know our society raises us to think any kind of acknowledgement of someone we haven't met is automatically bad, but this is kind of silly. You weren't bugging Alice by being helpful. In fact, I think that counts as the opposite of 'bugging'.

You are also way much stronger than I am, being able to do that. I can barely deal with having to care for my husband and he's usually quite lucid, even when he's in agonising pain (which is, to be accurate, most of the time).

[dragonwhishes]

Well, I didn't phrase that as well as I could. She mainly meant to not bother someone if they were busy, like the nurses or employees, and I did end up gabbing to the ones that got me the sheets to sign up.

Aw, thanks. To be fair, though, I'm not there all day. I can easily say "Hey, I gotta go now" and walk away if I'm feeling worn down. It's different with you.

[mellifluous_ink]

Still, I don't see anything inherently wrong with that, I mean doing that is part of their function as employees. How else are you supposed to get set up to volunteer if you don't talk to an employee, you know?

Eh, to be fair Jack deals really well with his pain 70-80% of the time, and I'm prone to worrying overmuch. It's just when he does have episodes of intense, days-long pain that I stop being able to deal with anything very well. And I do mean anything. I stop eating, even.

[dragonwhishes]

That's true. In any case, I'm volunteering now and a good number of employees know me by name now. :D

Urk. Sometimes I forget to do that, and when everything was bad with Grandpa, I probably would have if I didn't have Mom and Grandma hovering around. They make sure that the crazy Aspie of the house doesn't lose her head.

[rurounitriv]

Volunteering is the absolute opposite of bugging, and is what so many of the staff of these places wish more people did. :)

I'm glad that you found it in your heart to step in and help, a lot of people don't want to get involved. And you're absolutely helping just by being there to talk to the folks who live there - one of the biggest problems people living in nursing homes have is depression, because they feel like they've just been stuck in a warehouse for old folks to be forgotten about and die.

[dragonwhishes]

Well, I'm there and I'm doing it. In a little bit Grandma's picking me up and we're going to go.

Aw, thanks. It's better than some nursing homes, I think. It's clean, and the nurses are good people, and they let them decorate their rooms how they'd like. But I know that some of the people there say they haven't been visited in forever, and it's heartbreaking. (But then sometimes you wonder if that's really the case of if they just can't remember... but Alice remembers me and knows I visit her a lot. So yeah. :\ )

[rurounitriv]

It's good to hear your Grandpa's in a good place. But yeah, I know a few people who work or volunteer in the nursing home down here and they'll come out and tell you that there's people there (and probably in the home you're volunteering at) who haven't had a visitor since the day they arrived. Some of them don't have family and outlived their friends, some of them have family but the family members don't care... it's sad.

Just by being there and talking to them, showing them you care, you're doing a wonderful thing.

[dragonwhishes]

Yeah. A lot of the ladies there have outlived their husbands (although one woman who's been put there is "going to kill him when I see him") and a lot of their relatives. It just... yeah. It's sad. But I've been talking to them and stuff.

Today I was kinda kidnapped by one of the ladies - basically, she took me by the hand and we went along. Some of the ladies can get around in their wheelchairs by moving their feet along, so sometimes I'll just walk along with them. For the majority of my time there, I walked along next to her, the lady holding one of my hands the entire time. (Well, not the entire time. But the couple of times she tried to make sure I was still around)

[placeboweek]

I think it's really great you're volunteering. People in nursing homes tend to get forgotten -- I bet you make their days brighter every time you spend time with them.

[dragonwhishes]

Aw, thanks Dina. I know that's the case but I really don't know how that can just... happen like that. That's your family, and unless you had a really awful relationship with them you can't just forget them.

A couple of the ladies there (there are actually guys there, but the ladies outnumber them) have actually said that. It kinda makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

[shadowtricker]

The distinction between making a big difference and a small difference is purely a matter of perspective. For each and every one of those people who you have talked with, whose hand you have held, whose stories you have listened to, it is a very big and wondrous difference indeed.

[dragonwhishes]

I don't know how you do that, Shad. Make people feel better right when they need it. But thanks. This cheered me up today.