the chipper spoon
so my amazing friend pyrojoker is having a hott french guy named Jean Luc. oh yeah. thats what i said. so i know where im going to be spending my summer now. thank you drew
so ive definitely been feeling low again. i vana do something to change it, but that wont happen until this deep chasm that i feel has formed between a few of my friends and i has closed. i mean i thought things had gotten better, but apparently not. i dont know, i feel so lost except when im with my friend ryan(aka the love of my life) but what sucks about that is he has a girlfriend so im always on guard so i dont seem like im flirting with him, especially when his g/f is around, cuz flirting with another chicks guy is just wrong. i vana boyfriend, i vant him to be my boyfriend. he looked so good sunday. he was wearing these black slacks with a matching sport coat and a blue so rich it made me vana cry.
so those thoughts have come back, once again. not the very bad ones, just the semi good bad meduim bad good ones. it involves safety pins, thats all i gotta say. but if i can just wait until camp, ill be okay. i just wish i could talk to my friends about this without them thinking im mental or that they have to walk on eggshells around me. im......tired.....of ....it .....all!!!
maybe i should talk to somebody, but then again maybe not. i mean its not as bad as a few weeks ago, no j/k im fine.