WAYS TO GET OVER SOMEONE:

[dramajock]

Just like to start this out by saying Nicole and I are doing fine. Some people were confused after my last entry, something I’d written before I even started dating Nicole, so I wanted to clarify and say I posted that when I was running across some writing I’d done, figured might as well put it out there

Comments

Yup

[skywalker57]

I agree with most things on here, except for maybe the rebound thing. You can't ever tell when you're still in the "rebound" stage, and i've found that the only real way to get over someone is to see other people. I'm not talking about going to a party and hooking up with someone to satiate your feelings of loneliness, but getting more involved with someone that you like is the way to go. This allows you to forget about the old and concentrate on the new without a conscious effort.

Also, I'm not sure that the burning is appropriate until a lot later, because not everyone breaks up for the same reason, and therefore, not necessarily separated for good.

Re: Yup

[dramajock]

Yeah, I kind of mispoke there. Totally agree you're never sure when you're out of the rebound stage. You may think you are, but later on you realize you weren't when you thought that. Kind of like right after a break-up, you'll say to a friend "Oh, I'm over that person now" and then a week later try to get your ex back.

I think I meant to type that they should find one of those rebounds that they do like, but they don't realize aren't their type (probably not their type because if the rebound was their type, that rebound would remind them of their ex, and would make them go into remission again.)

The burning thing I'm still thinking about. It always sort of bothered me when a couple would break-up then get back together a lot later and act like nothing ever happened, and still count the same anniversaries, but even as I type this, I'm seeing the flaws in my reasoning. But at what point should you get rid of the physical memories, if at all?

Re: Yup

[skywalker57]

Well, what I did was simply put them away at home, that way I couldn't get to them if I wanted to. Eventually, you will go back to those things, but you won't have the those feelings of "why did we break up?" you just get nostalgic and remember the good times, but not in a sad sort of way. I also think that acting like a breakup never occured is wrong, unless it was one of those three-day breakups that aren't really serious. If you do happen to get back together with someone, you have to treat it as a new relationship because you both have changed and things won't ever be the same, but they can still be good if done right.