Title: The Knight V. The Ogre
Author:
mihnnRating: PG13
Notes/Warning: Prompt 7. All 3.
"Once upon a time, in a Kingdom far, far away, there lived a baby named Cupid who used to shoot people with arrows-"
"That sounds violent."
Her husband glared at her. "Do you mind?"
Hermione shrugged. "Fine. Continue."
Giving her a pointed look, he looked at his sleeping daughter. "Then an evil wizard used the most evil magic to turn Cupid evil. Cupid turned so evil that he shot a beautiful Princess so she would be paired with a poor, messy, evil, red-headed git named-"
"Draco!"
"Ogre," he amended. "Named Ro-"
"And then she met another git named-"
"You're stealing my story."
"And you're not saying it right."
"How about you let me finish before you make a judgement?"
Hermione sighed. "Fine."
Draco continued. "One day, the most handsome and richest Knight of all the land who also happened to have a great head of golden locks-"
Hermione snorted, only to earn a glare from the story-teller. "At least his hair was better than the Princess'."
Finding his rendition extremely insulting, Hermione pinched him, to which her husband responded by snaking an arm around her waist and pulling her flush against him. "What did the Prince do then?"
"He turned the Cupid good again so that the Princess could fall in love with the Knight."
"Did they live happily ever after?"
"They did. And the Princess was so happy that she put on lacy knickers and allowed the Prince to tie her up and ravage her ceaselessly."
Hermione laughed. "You're lucky our child is only one year old."
"No," Draco said mischievously. "You're lucky she's a deep sleeper."
Before Hermione could say anything else, Draco had tossed her over his shoulder, making her stifle a surprised yelp as she was hauled bodily into their bedroom.
Her body thrummed with excitement. What a wonderful Valentine's Day this turned out to be.