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[draw_in_yellow]

I'm not adjusting well. I keep having panic attacks. Everything feels wrong. I came home feeling so different, but now everything just feels rushed and I can't keep up. I found a house and I'm washing dishes for a restaurant to supplement my income until I find another job

Comments

[hopita]

I think it has to do with possibilities.

When you go someplace new, you're this clean slate. And if it's a positive experience, you come back feeling all energized. Only you come back to people who already have set expectations of you, and somehow they manage to beat all of that joy and vigor right out of you.

I remember watching Dan squash out my enthusiasm the day I returned from Seattle. I remember watching the light go out in Billie's eyes when she came back from North Carolina.

People suck, and medication if probably not a bad idea. It's good that you're asking why, though.

[mot0ki]

Being abroad is like an out of body experience. You have a chance to reinvent yourself somewhat...

and then you come back to the familiar, and you're torn. Who are you supposed to be?? The worldly traveler, or the rural kid from greensburg?

But that's just what I felt like. Maybe you can relate.