I want to have some sashimi off one of the Lovecraftian elder gods. Wouldn't that be the coolest?

I feel bloated with possibility, like I just don't know what to do with all this JUICE.

**EDIT** No, I haven't just had the cock ring on too long, fuckers.

I am suddenly alone because the sky is blue, the tree green, the street quiet, and because a dog, who is as alone as I am, is walking in front of me. I am moving slowly but with a firm step. I think it is nighttime. The landscapes I discover, the houses with advertisements on them, the posters, the shipwindows I pass as a sovereign, are of the same ( Read more... )

I'm on such a fatty raw fish, wind and tobacco high. Spring is coming for you all!

I wooed her with gas and a wash, and in the end she's the one I went home with. This year, my car is my valentine. Love ya, babe!

( Subject : chikz that sqquirt )

It's a sad day for this young dilettante, who for the first time has seen the nature of this foul season undermine the majestic authority of his black chariot.

Man, I'm probably the last person you'd expect to get excited about a Red Sox win, but I tell ya, driving home from Boston with the cool October air in my hair and my underwear in my pocket, blasting Appetite for Destruction all the way, the city seemed truly jubilant. There were people literally dancing in the streets, and a BMW Z3 with two middle ( Read more... )

The highlight of a generally dull visit to King Richard's Faire '04 was a conversation held between me and a vendor in full leathers and a pinned and plumed cavalier hat that took place as I was buying a similar hat for my father's birthday, thinking it'd make him feel very Piratey indeed ( Read more... )

As I sit here in my boxers at about 6:00 PM on Sunday coating myself with arnica, I'd like to recount some of the highlights of Ozzfest 2004 ( Read more... )