(no subject)
I am really lousy at making conversation. If you've ever spoken face to face with me sometime in the past twenty-odd years, you can probably recall the awkward pauses and frequent stumbling that occurred with uncomfortable regularity in any given exchange. It just so happens that I have been stricken since childhood with the unfortunate disorder of not knowing what the hell to talk about.
When I think of conversation, I conjure up some fantastical image of people walking briskly to some highly important destination, exchanging clever witticisms and insight-saturated remarks on world affairs, like in TV shows. And I don't think that notion is completely unfounded; I go to the business school for one of my classes and and have the opportunity to witness people bantering relentlessly with one another. So, the real problem may simply be that I don't have ideas. I used to think that maybe I am just inarticulate and, when put on the spot, I was incapable of adequately and smoothly expressing my thoughts on a matter, so I figured that if I could find some way to improve the coherency of my speech, then that would solve all my issues. But how can you improve your ability to speak clearly when you have no ideas about which to speak? My brain seems to with a multitude of complex topics and problems each day, and generally makes only the vaguest judgement or analysis before rapidly losing interest and moving onto the next topic, leaving the part of my neural complex labeled "Things to Think About That Other People Might Be Interested In" totally bereft of content. It is a conundrum, to say the least. I've been thinking about constructing a sort of pre-prepared flowchart in matlab with various conditions, like a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure novel, so I wouldn't be forced to think every time I was forced to interact with other sentient beings.
Speaking of poor conversation skills, in the past couple years (or year, or something) I've tried to focus more on actually looking people in the eyes with speaking to them, because by all accounts it is sort of important to "connect" with people visually. It sounds pretty silly (maybe even dumb) but for some reason or other I had never really picked up on how ubiquitous it was. It was pretty surprising to me how many people actually look at the people they're speaking to when they're talking. Right in the eyes! Even when they're walking and eating! What if they walk headlong into a pole while gazing intently into someone's eyes? Or drive into the opposing traffic lane? And talking while over a meal is never something I've understood. From a simply physical point of view, it is difficult to both eat and communicate. Then you throw in the added confusion of taste sensations, effective utilization of your eating utensils, and the maintenance of an unyielding eyegaze connection, and the whole ordeal just makes me feel like the most awkward person on the planet.
When I think of conversation, I conjure up some fantastical image of people walking briskly to some highly important destination, exchanging clever witticisms and insight-saturated remarks on world affairs, like in TV shows. And I don't think that notion is completely unfounded; I go to the business school for one of my classes and and have the opportunity to witness people bantering relentlessly with one another. So, the real problem may simply be that I don't have ideas. I used to think that maybe I am just inarticulate and, when put on the spot, I was incapable of adequately and smoothly expressing my thoughts on a matter, so I figured that if I could find some way to improve the coherency of my speech, then that would solve all my issues. But how can you improve your ability to speak clearly when you have no ideas about which to speak? My brain seems to with a multitude of complex topics and problems each day, and generally makes only the vaguest judgement or analysis before rapidly losing interest and moving onto the next topic, leaving the part of my neural complex labeled "Things to Think About That Other People Might Be Interested In" totally bereft of content. It is a conundrum, to say the least. I've been thinking about constructing a sort of pre-prepared flowchart in matlab with various conditions, like a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure novel, so I wouldn't be forced to think every time I was forced to interact with other sentient beings.
Speaking of poor conversation skills, in the past couple years (or year, or something) I've tried to focus more on actually looking people in the eyes with speaking to them, because by all accounts it is sort of important to "connect" with people visually. It sounds pretty silly (maybe even dumb) but for some reason or other I had never really picked up on how ubiquitous it was. It was pretty surprising to me how many people actually look at the people they're speaking to when they're talking. Right in the eyes! Even when they're walking and eating! What if they walk headlong into a pole while gazing intently into someone's eyes? Or drive into the opposing traffic lane? And talking while over a meal is never something I've understood. From a simply physical point of view, it is difficult to both eat and communicate. Then you throw in the added confusion of taste sensations, effective utilization of your eating utensils, and the maintenance of an unyielding eyegaze connection, and the whole ordeal just makes me feel like the most awkward person on the planet.