I needed somewhere to hang my head without your noose
I hereby present to you The Man Meme.
Really? Flaming? Try sharks next time.
1. Do you have facial hair? If so, how much? If not, how often do you shave?
You knew this was coming. I have yet to deny a reason to link it.
2. Have you ever been in a fight?
Once, actually, when I was playing hockey. This probably doesn't surprise you, except for the fact that I was the goalie.
3. Have you ever been in a dance fight?
...and then it turned into Disco vs. Thriller On Ice. I was on the Thriller team and therefore totally won.
4. How many girl/boyfriends have you had?
Three. One crazy bitch and two I'm still on good terms with.
5. Are you tall or short?
Average, about 5'10"ish.
6. When was the last time you hit the gym?
It's been a few months, I haven't really bothered. Might try that situp routine again.
7. What kind of music do you listen to?
This is the best answer I could give. Rock, mainly. Classic rock, alt-rock, the occasional hard rock. 70s and 80s, britpop,
8. Are you single right now?
Yes. Kinda weird, kinda not.
9. Did you enjoy gym class as a kid?
It wasn't too bad. Sure, I was always picked close to last, but as soon as anything needing a goalie cropped up, I was first. Mainly due to a lack of inhibition; I would throw myself at the ball even if we were playing on concrete.
10. Do you play/have you ever played any sports?
As mentioned above, I played hockey. I competed in a provincial tennis tournament once and placed third. I used to fence and row as well. I really should pick one of those back up.
11. If you could have any animal in the world for a pet, what would it be?
Repede. Tell me you wouldn't want a dog that badass.
12. Do you smoke?
No, but the dog does.
13. What would your superhero name be?
Baron von Badtouch
14. What would your porn name be?
Baron von Badtouch
15. What would your son's name be?
David.
16. What would your daughter's name be?
Sidney or Catherine.
17. Are you a slob?
Sometimes! Like when it comes to pop cans, hell yes, but for some things, usually on the computer, I am fucked up organized.
18. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?
Haven't experimented enough to find out.
19. What kind of drunk are you/do you think you'd be?
I can't tell if I'd be just a tired drunk or a mean drunk.
20. If your life was a movie, which actor would you want to play you?
Inception!Leonardo diCaprio, voiced by Ron Perlman.
21. What makes you smile? (HINT: Acceptable answers- beef jerky, getting into fights, naked women, naked women getting into fights.)
You know when you get steak that's cooked just right? Yeah.
22. What pisses you off? (HINT: Acceptable answers- racism, getting rear-ended, the continued existence of Robert Pattinson.)
When important things are avoided instead of decided.
23. What makes you cry? (HINT: Acceptable answers- N/A.)
Thinking about putting one of our dogs down. Even the big dumb blonde meathead.
24. Who is your favorite fictional badass?
I'm going to have to give this one to James Bond, for perfecting the one-liner to the point where it's suave and terrible at the same time. Because no matter how terrible the pun is, you only wish you could drop something like that right before stone-cold murdering someone.
25. What is your favorite knife-fighting technique?
There is this one move in which, while using the opponent's momentum against them, you stab them in the back just to create a pivot point.
26. If you could be transported back in time to any point in history, when would it be?
I'd want to go back and see the moon landing when it was completely new and foreign and exciting!
27. Do you have chest hair?
Do I ever! In fact, in high school, when bored, some friends were trying to figure out who had the most body hair, only done with shorts. By the end, there were four rankings. None to Low, Medium, High, Geoff.
28. Lead, follow, or get out of the way?
I have two mindsets. If there's a plan in mind and it's not too bad, sure I'll follow along. But if I've got a plan, or I don't like yours, or even worse, there isn't a plan and I get frustrated by it, then I will stand up and lead; especially in the last mood, you are definitely going to want to get the fuck out of my way.
29. Do you think you'll ever get married?
I damn well hope so.
30. Are you a good driver?
Not a single accident in over five years!
31. If you could sleep with any one celebrity, who would it be?
Let's just go straight for the classics, I would totally do Marilyn Monroe in the 40s and 50s.
32. Have you ever been in love?
Very much so.
33. What's the dumbest thing you've ever done?
Not being lit on fire, but agreeing to be lit on fire.
34. Possibly as a result of the above, what's the worst you've ever been hurt?
Which it wasn't! I passed out on a tennis court and cut up my face a bit because that's not just an even ground. Looked like a cheese grater to the face for a bit.
35. How many wild animals have you defeated in bare-handed combat within the last year?
17, with an expected even 22 by the end of the year.
36. You have been made Emperor of the Whole Goddamned World. What's the first thing you do?
The spice must flow.
37. What do you fear?
Nightmares.
38. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
None, and I doubt I'll ever have any.
39. How long is your hair?
Starting to graze my shoulders in the back, can almost pull it down to my mouth in front. So I should be looking into a haircut.
40. If you could punch anyone in the world in the face without repercussions, who would it be?
Anne and Travis, mostly. Anyone else, I'd have to be sufficiently bored first.
41. Who is your closest friend?
Rainer, the person who I trust enough to light me on fire. We've been good friends since middle school and still keep in touch via Skype. It's not quite the same, but it's something.
42. What are your current goals, and what are you doing to achieve them?
Get out of my parents' house and start my career. While both have been achieved, I'm just living with Steph now, and I want to upgrade from that too. Looking at moving in with Craig at the end of the year if it's a good deal, if not I'll look into my own place.
43. What would you do if you found out you had three days left to live?
Like I was going to die in three days exactly or things were just ticking down from 72 hours but that can be interrupted? If it's the latter, I'd probably blow everything visiting people and just have the time of my life before going. If it's the former, you had better believe I will go on the most impressive crime spree ever if I know I'm kicking the bucket in exactly three days. It's like knowing you're not going to be caught!
44. Have you ever been a lumberjack or a fireman?
I'm from Canada, by default I am a lumberjack.
45. A wizard has turned you into a whale. Is this awesome Y/N?
Only if I'm falling from the sky towards a populated area.
46. What cartoons did you watch as a kid?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Obviously.
47. What time do you wake up in the morning?
6:45 on weekdays, anything from 9-12 on the weekend.
48. What card games do you know how to play?
Poker (mainly five card draw and Texas Hold 'Em), Blackjack, Solitaire, Spider Solitaire, Triple Triad, Spades... probably missing a few.
49. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President?
Naturally. Rescuing the President is also known as my daily warm-up.
And last but not least:
50. How long is yours?
Ladies.
Really? Flaming? Try sharks next time.
1. Do you have facial hair? If so, how much? If not, how often do you shave?
You knew this was coming. I have yet to deny a reason to link it.
2. Have you ever been in a fight?
Once, actually, when I was playing hockey. This probably doesn't surprise you, except for the fact that I was the goalie.
3. Have you ever been in a dance fight?
...and then it turned into Disco vs. Thriller On Ice. I was on the Thriller team and therefore totally won.
4. How many girl/boyfriends have you had?
Three. One crazy bitch and two I'm still on good terms with.
5. Are you tall or short?
Average, about 5'10"ish.
6. When was the last time you hit the gym?
It's been a few months, I haven't really bothered. Might try that situp routine again.
7. What kind of music do you listen to?
This is the best answer I could give. Rock, mainly. Classic rock, alt-rock, the occasional hard rock. 70s and 80s, britpop,
8. Are you single right now?
Yes. Kinda weird, kinda not.
9. Did you enjoy gym class as a kid?
It wasn't too bad. Sure, I was always picked close to last, but as soon as anything needing a goalie cropped up, I was first. Mainly due to a lack of inhibition; I would throw myself at the ball even if we were playing on concrete.
10. Do you play/have you ever played any sports?
As mentioned above, I played hockey. I competed in a provincial tennis tournament once and placed third. I used to fence and row as well. I really should pick one of those back up.
11. If you could have any animal in the world for a pet, what would it be?
Repede. Tell me you wouldn't want a dog that badass.
12. Do you smoke?
No, but the dog does.
13. What would your superhero name be?
Baron von Badtouch
14. What would your porn name be?
Baron von Badtouch
15. What would your son's name be?
David.
16. What would your daughter's name be?
Sidney or Catherine.
17. Are you a slob?
Sometimes! Like when it comes to pop cans, hell yes, but for some things, usually on the computer, I am fucked up organized.
18. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?
Haven't experimented enough to find out.
19. What kind of drunk are you/do you think you'd be?
I can't tell if I'd be just a tired drunk or a mean drunk.
20. If your life was a movie, which actor would you want to play you?
Inception!Leonardo diCaprio, voiced by Ron Perlman.
21. What makes you smile? (HINT: Acceptable answers- beef jerky, getting into fights, naked women, naked women getting into fights.)
You know when you get steak that's cooked just right? Yeah.
22. What pisses you off? (HINT: Acceptable answers- racism, getting rear-ended, the continued existence of Robert Pattinson.)
When important things are avoided instead of decided.
23. What makes you cry? (HINT: Acceptable answers- N/A.)
Thinking about putting one of our dogs down. Even the big dumb blonde meathead.
24. Who is your favorite fictional badass?
I'm going to have to give this one to James Bond, for perfecting the one-liner to the point where it's suave and terrible at the same time. Because no matter how terrible the pun is, you only wish you could drop something like that right before stone-cold murdering someone.
25. What is your favorite knife-fighting technique?
There is this one move in which, while using the opponent's momentum against them, you stab them in the back just to create a pivot point.
26. If you could be transported back in time to any point in history, when would it be?
I'd want to go back and see the moon landing when it was completely new and foreign and exciting!
27. Do you have chest hair?
Do I ever! In fact, in high school, when bored, some friends were trying to figure out who had the most body hair, only done with shorts. By the end, there were four rankings. None to Low, Medium, High, Geoff.
28. Lead, follow, or get out of the way?
I have two mindsets. If there's a plan in mind and it's not too bad, sure I'll follow along. But if I've got a plan, or I don't like yours, or even worse, there isn't a plan and I get frustrated by it, then I will stand up and lead; especially in the last mood, you are definitely going to want to get the fuck out of my way.
29. Do you think you'll ever get married?
I damn well hope so.
30. Are you a good driver?
Not a single accident in over five years!
31. If you could sleep with any one celebrity, who would it be?
Let's just go straight for the classics, I would totally do Marilyn Monroe in the 40s and 50s.
32. Have you ever been in love?
Very much so.
33. What's the dumbest thing you've ever done?
Not being lit on fire, but agreeing to be lit on fire.
34. Possibly as a result of the above, what's the worst you've ever been hurt?
Which it wasn't! I passed out on a tennis court and cut up my face a bit because that's not just an even ground. Looked like a cheese grater to the face for a bit.
35. How many wild animals have you defeated in bare-handed combat within the last year?
17, with an expected even 22 by the end of the year.
36. You have been made Emperor of the Whole Goddamned World. What's the first thing you do?
The spice must flow.
37. What do you fear?
Nightmares.
38. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
None, and I doubt I'll ever have any.
39. How long is your hair?
Starting to graze my shoulders in the back, can almost pull it down to my mouth in front. So I should be looking into a haircut.
40. If you could punch anyone in the world in the face without repercussions, who would it be?
Anne and Travis, mostly. Anyone else, I'd have to be sufficiently bored first.
41. Who is your closest friend?
Rainer, the person who I trust enough to light me on fire. We've been good friends since middle school and still keep in touch via Skype. It's not quite the same, but it's something.
42. What are your current goals, and what are you doing to achieve them?
Get out of my parents' house and start my career. While both have been achieved, I'm just living with Steph now, and I want to upgrade from that too. Looking at moving in with Craig at the end of the year if it's a good deal, if not I'll look into my own place.
43. What would you do if you found out you had three days left to live?
Like I was going to die in three days exactly or things were just ticking down from 72 hours but that can be interrupted? If it's the latter, I'd probably blow everything visiting people and just have the time of my life before going. If it's the former, you had better believe I will go on the most impressive crime spree ever if I know I'm kicking the bucket in exactly three days. It's like knowing you're not going to be caught!
44. Have you ever been a lumberjack or a fireman?
I'm from Canada, by default I am a lumberjack.
45. A wizard has turned you into a whale. Is this awesome Y/N?
Only if I'm falling from the sky towards a populated area.
46. What cartoons did you watch as a kid?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Obviously.
47. What time do you wake up in the morning?
6:45 on weekdays, anything from 9-12 on the weekend.
48. What card games do you know how to play?
Poker (mainly five card draw and Texas Hold 'Em), Blackjack, Solitaire, Spider Solitaire, Triple Triad, Spades... probably missing a few.
49. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President?
Naturally. Rescuing the President is also known as my daily warm-up.
And last but not least:
50. How long is yours?
Ladies.