Drabble: Scorpius Malfoy's Dumb Gay Dad (Rose/Scorpius)
Title: Scorpius Malfoy’s Dumb Gay Dad
Pairing: Rose/Scorpius
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 512
A/N: Written for bitchet because she got my last drabble challenge question right. She prompted with me with this hilarious outtake from the show Community.
“I don’t understand why you are so nervous.”
“It’s the first time my father has offered to come for a visit since we moved in together.”
“You afraid he’s going to find out we share a bedroom?” Rose teased.
Scorpius frowned and kicked aside a pair of Rose’s trainers that she’d left in front of the door. “I’m afraid he’s going to think that we live in a dump.”
“We do live in a dump.”
“Maybe it wouldn’t look so bad if you’d actually pick up your shit once in while,” Scorpius groused nodding toward the pile of dirty dishes in the sink.
Rose grimaced. “Fuck, Scor, you know as many household cleaning spells as I do. Besides, when did you become such a house elf?”
“I just don’t know what I am going to say to him when he starts going on about how he didn’t work 60+ hours a week at Slug & Jiggers so that I could one day live in a hovel.”
“You just have to practice.”
“What?”
“You just have to practice what to say to him when he starts in on you. Here, I’ll be him!” Rose grinned, grabbing Scorpius arm and dragging him down on the couch next to her. “Hi, I’m Draco Malfoy.”
“Hi, I’m Ron Weasley,” Scorpius mocked in reply.
“What are you doing?”
“Just admiring all the superior decorating habits my daughter picked up from me over the years.” Scorpius waved his arms widely encompassing the entire room. “I like to refer to this style as shabby slum.”
Rose’s eyes narrowed and she frowned at her boyfriend. “I’m impressed you communicate with your daughter well enough to actually teach her something. My exchanges with Scorpius are typically limited to sly innuendoes about his failure to live up to my expectations and setting bad examples for him not to follow.”
“I wouldn’t know anything about setting a bad example. My wife holds me so tightly by my short hairs that I can’t sneeze without her permission.”
“Wow, you still have your short hairs? I shaved mine off years ago so I wouldn’t leave behind any evidence of my revolving door of girlfriends for my wife to find.”
Scorpius rolled his eyes. “Since I’m a former Auror who still has an opinion about everything even slightly related to Magical Law Enforcement, I’d suggest that shaving off your girlfriends short hairs would be a more effective way to hide evidence of your infidelity than shaving off your own.”
Rose sniffed. “Interesting idea. Unfortunately, I’m an idiot and never take anyone else’s advice.”
“Great,” Scorpius said, “two other things we have in common besides the fact our kids are dating.”
“They won’t be dating for much longer if my jackass of a son doesn’t apologize for insulting you,” Rose huffed.
“I’m sure he will as soon as my shrew of a daughter does the same.”
They sat in silence for several seconds. “On the count of three?” Rose asked.
Scorpius nodded.
“One.”
“Two.”
“Three.”
“Sorry,” they both muttered, before moving to opposite ends of the couch to pout.
The End
Pairing: Rose/Scorpius
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 512
A/N: Written for bitchet because she got my last drabble challenge question right. She prompted with me with this hilarious outtake from the show Community.
“I don’t understand why you are so nervous.”
“It’s the first time my father has offered to come for a visit since we moved in together.”
“You afraid he’s going to find out we share a bedroom?” Rose teased.
Scorpius frowned and kicked aside a pair of Rose’s trainers that she’d left in front of the door. “I’m afraid he’s going to think that we live in a dump.”
“We do live in a dump.”
“Maybe it wouldn’t look so bad if you’d actually pick up your shit once in while,” Scorpius groused nodding toward the pile of dirty dishes in the sink.
Rose grimaced. “Fuck, Scor, you know as many household cleaning spells as I do. Besides, when did you become such a house elf?”
“I just don’t know what I am going to say to him when he starts going on about how he didn’t work 60+ hours a week at Slug & Jiggers so that I could one day live in a hovel.”
“You just have to practice.”
“What?”
“You just have to practice what to say to him when he starts in on you. Here, I’ll be him!” Rose grinned, grabbing Scorpius arm and dragging him down on the couch next to her. “Hi, I’m Draco Malfoy.”
“Hi, I’m Ron Weasley,” Scorpius mocked in reply.
“What are you doing?”
“Just admiring all the superior decorating habits my daughter picked up from me over the years.” Scorpius waved his arms widely encompassing the entire room. “I like to refer to this style as shabby slum.”
Rose’s eyes narrowed and she frowned at her boyfriend. “I’m impressed you communicate with your daughter well enough to actually teach her something. My exchanges with Scorpius are typically limited to sly innuendoes about his failure to live up to my expectations and setting bad examples for him not to follow.”
“I wouldn’t know anything about setting a bad example. My wife holds me so tightly by my short hairs that I can’t sneeze without her permission.”
“Wow, you still have your short hairs? I shaved mine off years ago so I wouldn’t leave behind any evidence of my revolving door of girlfriends for my wife to find.”
Scorpius rolled his eyes. “Since I’m a former Auror who still has an opinion about everything even slightly related to Magical Law Enforcement, I’d suggest that shaving off your girlfriends short hairs would be a more effective way to hide evidence of your infidelity than shaving off your own.”
Rose sniffed. “Interesting idea. Unfortunately, I’m an idiot and never take anyone else’s advice.”
“Great,” Scorpius said, “two other things we have in common besides the fact our kids are dating.”
“They won’t be dating for much longer if my jackass of a son doesn’t apologize for insulting you,” Rose huffed.
“I’m sure he will as soon as my shrew of a daughter does the same.”
They sat in silence for several seconds. “On the count of three?” Rose asked.
Scorpius nodded.
“One.”
“Two.”
“Three.”
“Sorry,” they both muttered, before moving to opposite ends of the couch to pout.
The End