A rant. Please ignore if you wish.

[drd2be]

I'm upset about something that happened recently. hiromasaki went tux shopping with his groomsmen. Beforehand, we'd talked about what the tuxes might look like and I told him whatever he wanted to do was fine

Comments

Clarification

[sgtrocknroll]

To clarify: It wasn't that we thought he would make a wrong decision that you would disapprove of, though I admit there was a little bit of that.

The main thing that led to you being called, was there wasn't ANY decision being made. We were there quite a long time before you were called, and things were being run by committee. with multiple ideas trying to be appeased. We know this almost never works. And between half of us saying match the dresses as that's how we've seen it in every other wedding (one groomsman is married, and another videotaped weddings for two years), and the other half looking at matching the shoes. color choice was better left to an outside third party involved with the wedding.

We dithered over color of vest, straight tie or bow tie, color of tux itself, tails or no tails, lapel shape, etc. Plus a full store of promgoers didn't help. All in all, we were in there for 2+ hours.

It was JUST the color of vests I called you about to get final word, that's all.

Re: Clarification

[drd2be]

Even if there was a little bit of worry that he would make the "wrong decision" when I told him there wasn't one pisses me off.

I know Chad was trying to be democratic and maybe it wasn't effective, but that's no need to rag on me.

[schizkitty]

I have to laugh, because it was the same way for me. Though thankfully the suit situation was averted...We made sure they all had some sort of black suit that looked good, and then we provided the vests and ties. Easy peasey.

You still have time, so it would be very good to take this into consideration - make sure you both know exactly what is going on with rehearsal and the wedding day and make sure everyone knows to call your husband to be, who has considerably less prep to do. I was on the phone with so many people the week prior and the day of I was ready to tear my hair out - and my lovely husband's phone never rang once.

[drd2be]

Thank you for the tips! I will keep them in mind.

[hiromasaki]

It'll be a chance for me to do something actually productive for the wedding.

[drd2be]

Let's clarify that it's not *I* that keeps you from doing productive things for the wedding.

From Meggon Mae

[anonymous]

Hey Dev...I'm right with you!!! I worked hard to make sure people understood it was OUR day, not MY day...we were both getting married, not just the bride! That's 80% of why Justin and I walked down the aisle at the same time instead of me alone. I didn't want people standing when I came in and not for him...as it turned out, I think it confused people and nobody stood up! But, the point was more that we're a team and I'm not in control, nor am I going to "change" him because we're married now...that assumption angers me, too!! I feel your pain! I think the way we dealt with it was to just be true to each other. We tried not to worry so much about what others would think, and instead did what we, as a team, wanted. (You may have noticed we did a few "non-traditional" things at our wedding!)

Okay...this is quickly becoming a novel...just wanted to show my support for you!

Re: From Meggon Mae

[drd2be]

Thanks, Duder!