Screw her. I'm getting stressed for you. I'd just send her a text saying " since you didn't ask I'm going to assume you chose one of the other two as your maid of honor, so I plan to not prepare any speech or take on any extra duties. So don't ask me later on closer to the date to be the maid of honor.thanks." She's put enough of your family in a hectic fucked up situation. and no would blame you for saying no or telling her no ahead of time. shes going to have zero family left by the end of this thing.
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