(no subject)

[dream_it_all]

Title: It's Raining
Series: Yu Yu Hakusho
Pairings/Characters: Hiei/Botan
Rating/Warnings: Doesn't stray about a T/PG-13 rating. Warnings for bad writing, potential fanbrattieness and a little bit of sexual violence in the later chapters.
Status: Completed.
Disclaimer: While Yu Yu Hakusho is not mine, most of the books quoted were made up by me.

"The most annoying thing about those two is how she refuses to accept that he's in love with her and he refuses to realize he's in love at all; it's like that story about the three blind people and the elephant, only the blind men are trying to make a cup of tea out of the elephant as well."

--Utterly Lovely, Entirely in Love: A Romance Novel by Psued O'Nym

Hiei was trying to convince himself that it was merely instinct that made him want to be near Botan. Only instinct that made him want to discover, then fix, whatever had made her so sad before. Instinct alone that made him want to protect her with everything he had...

He managed it, mostly. It was really only mating instinct after all, there was nothing else to it. His instinct had chosen wrong, the statistical minority, he had agreed to "court" her to keep him from raping her, which he didn't want to do, that was why, he wasn't worried about how Botan would feel about that at all...

Hiei still knew he was lying to himself.

"While the demon mating instinct is surprisingly subtle in its methods to induce mating and marking, it is still a sexual instinct. While it induces urges to pressure or encourage a partner into sex, it doesn't cause any long-term interest in the welfare of the partner, and no real concern for the state of the partner. It is trying to cause a marking which may be long-term and successful, through any means possible..."

--Demon Mating Habits: A Scientific Study by Erich Baumer

"It is debated whether the demon instinct when the 'courting' path is taken causes slightly more delicate attempts to an attempted mating or actual concern or care for the partner; most demons, however, report that the instinct itself causes the first reaction, but the general skill in choosing the potential markee and even more likely mate by the instinct causes 'instincts' more suited to a long-term relationship, one really meant to last..."

--The Demon Debates by Beth Livingry

"Love expresses itself differently in different people. There is 'general' love, the typical image displayed in romance novels, 'fierce' or 'burning' love, where the emotions are strong to the point of pain, and may express itself in violence, 'reticent' love, also known as 'secondary' love, where the emotion is nearly shy, and hidden; strong, but not obvious, and generally one-sided. The rarest form of love is protective, where someone wants to help a person with all their being, fill their souls with light, save them from anything that threatens them, keep them physically and emotionally safe."

--L O V E: The Demon Edition by Daniel Smithson

The night passed quickly. The next morning Botan left for her apartment fairly early, knowing she was meeting Hiei there.

The apartment was still empty as she arrived, so she spent a little time tidying slightly, making sure everything was meticulously neat, humming to herself as she worked.

Hiei entered the apartment quietly a few minutes later, through a window, refusing to use the door. He walked into the living room he had met with Botan in before, to find the owner flopped despondently on the couch.

"What's wrong now, onna?" he half-demanded, not meaning to sound so angry.

"Koenma just called me; something urgent has come up, so I need to work today. I'm sorry... I can't spend time with you today. I had been looking forward to it, too..."

"Hn." Hiei didn't know why was sorry too.

Botan sighed quietly. "There really isn't much point to getting to know each other if I'm always busy. Oh well..."

Hiei had given up on figuring out why he cared for the ferry onna. He just did; damn mating season. Doubly damned instinct. He refused to ask himself if he was entirely sure that it was just instinct.

"I should probably explain what's happening to Koenma," stated the ferry girl.

"Right," said the fire demon. "Take us to reikai, onna."

Botan looked up in surprise. Hiei wanted to come too? Why?

Noticing her uncomprehending look, Hiei explained further. "It's worse when I'm not around you, and if we're "courting," then we need to be around each other.

A few minutes later:

Botan half-ran behind Hiei as he walked (quickly!) through the hallways of reikai. Noticing that Botan was having trouble keeping up Hiei slowed down slightly, letting her walk at an easier pace. Botan gave him a puzzled look that eventually grew into a smile. She wasn't used to him being so considerate. Hiei wasn't sure why that smile felt so...nice, warming him up inside. The two of them were stared at by various people they passed; no one had ever thought they'd see the two of them looking so companionable.

Hiei swept into the Koenma's office, Botan behind him.

"Botan? There you are. Wait, Hiei? What are you, of all people, doing here?" said the god, looking up.

"I'll explain," said Botan to Hiei. "Koenma, Hiei's instinct has chosen me as a potential mate; we've agreed to a courting period."

Koenma stared at the two for a few minutes, stupefied.

"You're courting Hiei of all people? Do you know that demon courting most often ends in marking? Are you really this stupid?" interjected Koenma, collecting himself to the point where he could speak.

"Koenma," said Botan stiffly, "It's the best of the alternatives. What's more, Hiei has been very nice to me recently, and I don't see the harm in getting to know him better. At least this way there's a chance he won't mark me, unlike what would happen if he loses control."

"Okay, I know, it's just... I worry about you, Botan. You're like my sister, and I don't want to see you hurt," sighed Koenma. "Now that that's been said, Hiei, if you hurt her, you are worse than dead. I've got a cell in Reikai jail that's been... specially prepared."

"Oh good lord... I can smell the testosterone." muttered Botan.

"Don't even suggest the possibility, Koenma spat out Hiei, repulsed by the idea. "I would never do anything to hurt her..."

Botan turned to look at the little fire demon, surprise and...Something else in her eyes. "Hiei..." she began, softly.

Koenma alternated staring at Botan and Hiei. What the hell was going on? He would have sworn that there was more than mating instinct in his eyes, and there was definitely more than simple lust... And Hiei was the last person he'd expect to lose control of his emotions; he kept them under tighter lock than the most protected reikei rooms; why did Hiei seem to think he'd lose control, and why now? Why Botan?

"Okay. I don't understand it, I don't think I want to understand it, but I'll deal with it. Botan... think before you act. Consider all the consequences. Hiei is a demon undergoing community service for major thievery; he's a known killer. Know what you're getting into..." finally stated Koenma.

"Yes, Koenma. Do I really have to work today? I'd had plans..."

"Yes, you do. There's been a strange death at a camp site a ways out of town; I've had to replace the murdered person with a shape-shifter so she can 'die' in different, more normal, way. You really do have to do it, along with the rest of the Reikai Tantei. Botan, here's a file on it."

Hiei turned slightly towards the door; he was ready to go. It had hurt to hear Koenma remind Botan of what he had done. When had he stopped being proud of it? Hiei refused to think that it might have something to do with Botan. She was nothing to him, except for the fixation his mating instinct had struck him with. He didn't care for her at all...

He ignored the voice that whispered "But you do, and you know it," and stated, "My more...physical urges are stronger when I'm away from her... It's not a good idea."

Koenma's face visibly clouded over, displeasure flaring in it. "You're suggesting that you might rape her if you spend too long away from her?" he choked out.

Botan intervened quickly. "Koenma, sir, maybe we should go? Also, I'm afraid Hiei will need to spend a good amount of time with me each day to keep his instincts under control..."

"Hn," muttered Hiei in annoyed agreement. He did need to spend more time with the onna, but he didn't have to like the idea.

Koenma was surprised. He honestly hadn't expected Hiei to agree, no matter how reluctantly, to Botan's statement; he hadn't expected her to bring up the idea.

"Well..." he began, reluctantly.”This isn't normal, but not a lot about this is. Botan, you may take time off to spend more time with Hiei; you'll only work with the Reikai Tantei. Be careful."

"Thank you Koenma!" exclaimed Botan happily, her face brightening. "Come on, Hiei."

A few minutes later found them in the air, wind whistling past them. Hiei sat behind Botan, disdaining to hold the oar, balancing himself carefully. There was no conversation; the wind was too loud.

Eventually the two reached a small clearing in the woods, empty except for a small fire pit and a clear stream burbling through one edge of it; the sky overhead was cloudy gray, illuminating the just-leafed-out trees with the stormy clarity of light that comes right before rain.

"It's pretty!" exclaimed Botan, walking around it.

"Hn," muttered Hiei, mentally confused; half of him agreed, half of him was tolerant and half of him had the typical 'What a baka ferry onna' response he normally had. He wondered where he had gotten this many halfs in the first place...

"I forgot my clothes and camping supplies," stated the girl, not noticing the slight confusion on Hiei's face. His return to his normal cold, uncaring self was making her feel a lot of doubt; was it just his instinct? What would happen when this was all over?

Hopping back onto her oar, opening a portal and coming out outside a blue door in Reikai, Botan opened it, quickly flinging some clothes into a bag, grabbing a tent and sleeping bag and stuffing some toiletries into a bag. Slowing down suddenly, she glanced at a plain drawer on the small desk her room was furnished with, along with a simple bed, another door leading to a bathroom and a dresser. Opening the door she reached in and pulled out a small chest, maybe a foot and a half long and a foot tall. On the front of it was written 'Memories.' She stuck it in the bag she had her clothes in and hopped back onto her oar.

"Common behaviors shown during the mating season include: feeding behaviors, aggressiveness, possessiveness, strong sexual urges, a deeply rooted jealousy and paranoia and, of course, the marking instinct, making the neck the most captivating and attractive part of the prospective mate. If the prospective couple are in a 'courtship' period, behaviors include: the increased aggressiveness, though only towards others, very mild possessiveness, a slightly milder marking instinct, a need to protect the potential mate and an almost negligible increase in kindness. At the end of the courtship period, if mating hasn't occurred, the instincts of the general mating period will return, only much stronger; there are no documented cases of any demon resisting the instincts in a case like that.

"Interestingly enough, during the courtship period especially, but also the general mating process, the demon may have other 'instincts': an increase in kindness towards the other, an urge to just spend time watching the potential mate, feelings of sorrow if advances are accepted favorably and a general deep-felt love. These 'instincts' have proven to be actual feelings of love that have been pulled to the surface by the mating season, even if they aren't recognized as such..."

--Demonic Sociology by Theodore Levens and Louisa Terents

She popped back out into Ningenkai, and the campsite, just as Kurama walked into it up a small path. "Hello Kurama!" she called out, noticing that Hiei had disappeared, probably to check out the campsite or find a tree to claim as his.

Ambling around looking for a flat and fairly dry piece of ground, Botan eventually found one and placed her stuff down on it, before turning to look around the clearing. "I wonder where Yusuke and Kuwabara are," she mused, mostly to herself. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised they're late..."

"They're wandering around out there trying to find the right campsite," said a voice slightly behind her and to her right.

"Oh!" exclaimed Botan. "Hiei! You... really surprised me."

"Hn."

"I should probably go look for Yusuke and Kuwabara. Otherwise they'll probably end up in some poor stranger's camp," said Botan, turning to leave.

Hiei tried to convince himself it was instinct, he didn't really want to follow the onna, it was just mating urges...

It wasn't working. He turned as well and flitted after her, fast enough that you'd have to know what you were doing to see him. Keeping behind trees and bushes he shadowed her.

"Hey, Yusuke! Kuwabara!" called out Botan. "We're over here!"

"Hi Botan!" said Kuwabara, walking over. "What's the new mission?" He looked over at Yusuke, who was staring at Botan as if she had grown fangs, probably poison ones, and turned bright purple. "What's with Urameshi there?"

"Ummm..." said Botan, blushing.”That's a long story. Long long long long story. Why don't we... all-go-back-to-camp-and-I-can-tell-you-about-the-mission-yeah-that's-a-great-idea." Her last sentence was spoken at a near-inhuman speed, accompanied by heavy blushing and made no pretense to even be pretending to be asking for actual feedback. Kuwabara really didn't seem to notice anything.

"Okay then..." he said, walking off with Botan. Yusuke followed a ways behind them, twitching slightly and muttering about Hiei and Botan. Occasionally he would glance at Botan in disbelief.

Hiei watched Botan blush bright red as the idiot asked why Yusuke was giving Botan weird looks. What was happening with the detective now? It seemed to have something to do with Botan...

He followed the group up ahead, slightly curious. Why was Yusuke so shy and embarrassed around Botan? When he caught him mumble something about "Botan," "Hiei," and "courtship mating marking creepiness," he tied it all together. Yusuke had found out about his and Botan's courtship, though probably not all of it, and was just as repulsed at the idea as Hiei was. Wasn't he...?

He told himself that of course he wasn't thinking of marking the onna and that of course it was just the mating instinct talking and that of course he was only following Botan around because of that instinct and the demon around here who had been killing people...

Hiei never had been a good liar.

"Raindrops like teardrops,
For eyes are open windows
Shedding light on the soul...
I see your truth,
But only when it's raining."
--A Sorrow Song by Anonymous (poem)

Botan wondered where Hiei was. She wondered, vaguely, why all-of-a-sudden she would wonder about him at all. Was she actually growing attached to him? She really shouldn't. Hiei was only interested in her because of his mating instinct. She was still nearly human, the spirit of one, certainly. Hiei a) would never fall in love with someone and b) especially not a ningen. Everything would go back to normal once the mating season finished. It just reinforced the idea that nobody would love somebody caught between all the boundaries of race and level of aliveness like that.

She started putting up her tent, a fairly simple one, fortunately. She finished quickly, just getting the rain fly up before the first drops of rain began falling, softly. Lifting her face upwards she let them fall onto her face, trickling softly downwards. A small peaceful smile graced her lips.

"It's been a rainy year," said Kurama softly, coming up behind the girl.

"It has, hasn't it?" said Botan with a sigh, lowering her head. "I have to confess, I've always liked the rain, though."

"It's been good for my garden," said Kurama non-commitedly.

"Find sorrow in raindrops,
And love in the rain"

--A Sorrow Song by Anonymous (poem)

The falling rain had once again altered Botan's mood. The doubt that had settled earlier had changed to peace and sorrow, a strongly felt combination.

Everyone was clustered together under a quickly rigged tarp shelter, held up between a few trees, except for Hiei, who was ignoring the rain, half-under the shelter.

"Okay," began Botan. "There's been a murder here recently. The victim was female and killed around 3 to 4 in the morning. The victim was found with her internal organs replaced with a clear viscous liquid."

"Viscous?" asked Yusuke and Kuwabara simultaneously.

"Thick," clarified Kurama.

"Anyways," said Botan, "there are no known demons that would cause something like this; that's all we know."

"So we're going in blind?" asked Kurama.

"Yep," said Botan with a sigh.

"Just great," sighed Yusuke.

"See, they're just a bunch of kids," said a female voice behind them. Everyone snapped around, instinctively readying for a fight. They found themselves facing a teenaged girl with blue-gray eyes, a bow and quiver of arrows and long black hair and a boy with equally long silver hair, amber-golden eyes and a baseball cap.

"Hanyou," growled Hiei, glaring dangerously at the male.

"Told you they were demons," said silver-hair, putting his hand on his sword hilt.

"Don't, Inu-yasha!" said the girl. "I'm not sensing any shards; they're not the right ones."

"Shards?" muttered Yusuke. "What the...?"

"I don't care," muttered Inuyasha, readying himself for attack.

"I said no! Inu-yasha, sit!"

The hanyou, apparently called Inu-yasha, was pulled into the ground by a necklace around his neck. Face-first into the ground, to be exact. Everyone stared at the girl.

"Oh dear," she sighed. "I guess I'd better explain... and by the way, I'm Kagome Higurashi."

"Higurashi? Oh, I've heard of you! Koenma's been meaning to get a hold of you, but you're gone so much..."

"Koenma?" questioned the girl, Kagome.

"We've got explaining to do, too," explained Botan.

"Feh," muttered Inu-yasha.

"To shorten my story, I'm the reincarnation of a miko, Kikyo, who lived 500 years ago in the Feudal Era. I was dragged into the well behind my family's shrine by a centipede demon, where I accidentally produced the Shikon Jewel from my body, released Inu-yasha from an imprisonment cast by Kikyo, shattered the Shikon Jewel and was attacked by the demon who caused Kikyo to pin Inu-yasha to a tree, Naraku. Now I, Inu-yasha and a few other people are trying to gather all the shards of the Shikon Jewel before Naraku."

"That's the short version?" asked Yusuke in disbelief.

"Pretty much, yeah," said the girl.

"So why are you in the present?" asked Kurama.

"I keep the shards, and yesterday I was camping here when I was jumped by a small demon who stole one of my shards before I fought him off."

"How?" asked Kuwabara.

"I inherited some of Kikyo's powers," said Kagome, her face darkening slightly. "Anyways, I got Inu-yasha from the past and now we're searching for the demon."

"Just what's so important about these shards and that jewel thingy anyways?" asked Yusuke.

"Each shard will magnify a demon's power," said Kagome. "The whole jewel...Well, let's not think about that."

"I guess that makes sense," said Botan, thinking deeply. "I suppose a very minor demon might have been missed when all the other demons were sent to Makai, and then when it got the shard it gained a lot of power..."

"You were just carrying around shards of the Shikon Jewel without any protection?" asked Kurama with abject horror.

"Typical baka ningen," muttered Hiei, walking away.

"Ignore him," said Botan. "He's...just like that."

"What's your name, anyway?" asked Kagome.

"Oh! Right! Forgot introductions; forgive me. I'm Botan; that's Kurama, Kuwabara, Kurama and Hiei. We're all working for the ruler of the Spirit World, Koenma. Speaking of Koenma, he's been meaning to get a hold of you. About your time traveling... He just wanted you to be aware of him. While technically meddling in the past is illegal, he's fine with it as long as you keep it somewhat under control. What you're doing now is fine, though."

"Okay! Wow, so there's this guy who knows all about what I do in the past? Kinda weird."

"I don't know... You get used to it after a while. What's the past like? How about the people you work with?"

"Well, there's Shippo, Sango, Miroku and Inu-yasha..." began Kagome.

"Girly talk..." muttered Yusuke, walking off. Kuwabara followed suit. Kurama waited a little while longer, making sure everything was fine, before making a more dignified exit towards the perimeters of the campsite. Inu-yasha found a suitable tree and perched himself in it, ignoring everyone else. Hiei had already disappeared off somewhere else.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" asked Botan. "I've always liked walking and talking, especially in the rain."

"Okay!" said Kagome. "Inu-yasha, I'm going for a walk! We'll stay near by."

"Whatever..." muttered the hanyou.

The two girls walked off, talking animatedly about this and that and everything in between.

"So what's it like traveling with the hanyou your preincarnation (1) stuck to a tree for fifty years?" asked Botan.

"Umph," sighed Kagome, letting out a rush of air. "Well, it's... complicated. What about my life isn't? I love him, and I think he might love me, but... but... Kikyo was brought somewhat back to life, and I keep on finding them together... I don't know, Botan. I really don't know..."

"Oh, it's okay," said the ferry girl comfortingly, wrapping her in a supportive hug.

"I can't believe I'm telling you all this," sniffled Kagome through her tears. "I mean, we've just met..."

"It's fine," soothed Botan. "It's probably relief at meeting another girl in less-than-ordinary situations... and it is confusing, isn't it? I mean... I understand some of what you're going through. Hiei's mating instinct--you know how that works, right?--picked me, and we've agreed to a courtship period so his emotions don't go out of control to the point where he rapes me. At least that's the obvious reason... But I think I fell in love with him, at some point. And I've been so lonely..." At this point Botan was watery-eyed herself. "Hiei hates humans more than anything else, and I know he'll never love me... but I just can't help it."

Kagome hugged Botan back. "I guess we've both got the most messed-up love lives imaginable," she offered with a watery grin.

"Yeah," smiled back Botan. "On a happier note, how did you do that 'sit' thing earlier...?"

The extent to which the mating season affects a demon's awareness of its feelings is debated. However, it is suspected that it has a fairly weighty effect...

--Demonic Sociology by Theodore Levens and Louisa Terents

Hiei followed after them as well. They might need protection, what with that demon in the area and everything. Right? That's why he was following them.

Hiei stopped, sighing out loud. This much just too much denial. He had to face facts.

What did he think of the onna? She was... sad. What made him think that? He had seen her in the rain, and then when she had talked to him. Yes, she was sad. Annoying. But also faithful to her friends, loving, kind, beautiful. Weak... she was weak. That's why she needed him to protect her.

Why shouldn't he love her? She was human. That was the obvious reason. Why else? After all, she needed to be loved; a person that loving needs love in return. That was why she was so sorrowful in the first place... There really wasn't a reason why he hated her.

Did he really hate her anymore? Hiei knew he didn't. He was sad when she was, guilty when he hurt her, he felt warmer when she smiled, when he helped her. There was more than instinct there. It wouldn't affect him this much otherwise. He loved her... and he wasn't horrified at that thought. She was a better person than any demon he had met. There were certainly worse people...

Did she love him? Before the mating season she had been scared of him, certainly not in love. Did she still fear him? He hoped not. He really hoped not...

Screams interrupted him. Screaming... Botan! She was alone in the forest, with only that new girl!

Hiei ran off in the direction of the screams, fast enough to be invisible to human eyes. Kurama! he called out, using his Jagan.

Coming, he responded.

Seconds later he ran into a small clearing. Botan, Kagome and a thick worm maybe five and a half long, wrapped around a tree and made of a mostly clear liquid with a nasty look to it, were locked into a momentary stalemate; Kagome was surrounded by a shimmering shield made out of pink light, though it looked like the strain was getting to her, while Botan hovered high overhead.

Hiei quickly assessed the situation. It looked like the demon wasn't aware of him yet. Shouting got no reaction; an experimental movement did.

The worm stuck out another branch of itself to face the fire demon. The third end seemed nervous of him, though, darting around worriedly. Good.

"Hiei!" yelled Botan. "Don't touch it! Look at the squirrel!"

Squirrel? thought Hiei. What?

Another glance around did, indeed, show a squirrel, nothing more than a bag of skin oozing a clear liquid disturbingly similar to what the demon was made of from its nose, mouth, eyes and ears. Damn. This meant he couldn't touch the thing, and probably any of its pieces. And, yes, the blob of jelly that used to be a squirrel was starting to move; eventually it shivered out of the squirrel skin, inch-worming over to its parent. This was just a wonderful situation, wasn't it?

Kurama, Kuwabara, Yusuke and Inu-yasha burst into the clearing. Mentally Hiei told them the basic facts. It reproduces by splitting itself and we can't touch it.

"That's no problem!" exclaimed Yusuke. "I'll just spirit gun it..."

"NO!" yelled Hiei and Kurama simultaneously.

"If you shoot it it'll spatter," explained Kurama. "Each bit will essentially be a functioning adult one."

"Really?" said Yusuke. "That won't work, then. How do we do it, then?"

"Kagome!" yelled Inu-yasha, tossing her the bow she had dropped earlier.

"Thanks!" she yelled back, pulling out an arrow. She drew back then released, sending the arrow, outlined in pink energy, into the left side of the creature as it moved, deceptively fast, to avoid it. Where the arrow hit the stuff the creature was made of it started to boil off in great clouds of smudgy clear gray steam, smoky and harsh. After a surprisingly short period filled only with the awful hissing scream of the demon it cleared, revealing the worm, essentially unharmed. It was noticeably thinner and maybe half a foot shorter, but there was no other change.

Kagome strung and shot another arrow; it stood out brightly against the gray sky. It was headed straight for the demon, steady, steady, perfect... The demon split itself into two, an elongated donut shape; the arrow plunged through the hole and into the tree. A hissing laugh echoed almost silently through the clearing.

"Oh damn..." muttered Yusuke.”What the hell do we do now?"

"The shard's circulating through its body!" yelled Kagome. "It's not staying still!"

"I thought this was a lower-class demon!" yelled Kuwabara.

"It was! Now we just have no way of fighting it! How do you fight something without touching it?" answered Botan.

In response, Hiei ripped off the bandanna covering his Jagan, mentally praying that this would work.

He began a mental assault on the demon, non-physically beating at its natural mental boundaries. Slowly, slowly, he fought to force his control onto the creature; if he could hold it still enough the girl could shoot it.

"What's he doing?" yelled Kagome.

"Fighting it mentally! Get ready too shoot--once he's holding it still enough you can shoot it!" yelled back Kurama. A tense silence fell for a few minutes as the mental battle raged on.

Hiei's mind was burning. The strain required was physically painful, like a great burning weight pressing heavily down on him, heavier and heavier. His breath began coming out ragged; every muscle in his body was tensed.

Botan screamed suddenly, dodging quickly on her oar. The little worm, the one that had been a squirrel, had silently climbed up a tree and jumped at her, attempting to touch her. Instead, it fell harmlessly to earth. The damage had been done, though; Hiei had seen the danger. Already tense nerves added up with a protective streak a mile wide, only increased by mating instinct, to override any sense of reason. He rapidly started turning a deep green, replicas of his Jagan opening up all over his body. Abruptly the motion of the demon slowed, then stopped, held motionless. Kagome, startled by Hiei's rapid change, recovered quickly and shot an arrow, then another; once more the sickly steam poured out of the creature. Eventually it faded, leaving behind a single shard of the Shikon jewel; Kagome walked over, picked it up.

Botan landed, slightly shaky in the knees; she hadn't realized quite how much the shock of that... thing jumping at her had startled her. Suddenly, between blink and blink, Hiei was at her side, still in his less-human form, though it was slowly fading. She flinched slightly, surprised by his sudden movement and his equally sudden altered appearance, then stilled herself.

Hiei felt Botan flinch away from him, and it felt like his heart was breaking. She was still frightened by him; why shouldn't she be? he thought, bitter. He was exactly what Koenma had summarized: a convicted criminal, known killer, only working with her to keep out of Reikai prison.

Botan saw the sudden rush of sadness in Hiei, and felt an inexplicable surge of guilt. Where did that come from? she wondered. Softly, almost whispering, she asked "Hiei, could you help me stand? I don't think I'm going to be able to on my own..."

Hiei looked up at the girl beside him, her face white with shock. He eased an arm around her, leaning her onto his shoulder, supporting her. He refused to let himself think that she might love him back; she had already proven that she didn't.

Botan leaned onto the person beside her, supporting her. She felt safer. Protected. Loved... She told herself that it was just the mating instinct. Nobody, especially Hiei, loved her. Nonetheless, she savored having his arms around her, holding her up. She felt him, warmer than was human, by her side, and felt guilty for the sorrow she had seen in him; had that been because of her, and her moment of fright?

The two slowly walked over to the main group, followed by stares from Yusuke and Kuwabara; Kagome and Inu-yasha didn't know the two well enough to know how unlikely the scene before them was. Kurama was being enigmatic.

Reaching the group a silence fell. An awkward one. "I can stand by myself, now," said Botan. She made no extricate herself; neither did Hiei.

"You... Hiei... Botan... What the hell?" managed Kuwabara. Yusuke was still in shock.

"I'll explain later," said Kurama smoothly. "Hiei, why don't you let go of Botan? I want to make sure she's okay." Hiei carefully, reluctantly, pulled himself away, moving closer to the nearest edge of the clearing before stopping.

"Botan, are you dizzy? Can stand fine? Clear vision? No nausea? Good. You're fine... it was probably just a bit of shock at walking too close to that demon and then being jumped at like that."

"I... I think I'll go for a bit of a walk," said Botan. "I have a lot to think about."

"That sounds like a good idea," said Kurama kindly.

"But..." began Yusuke. Kurama shot him a glare. "Never mind."

"What's going on?" wondered Kuwabara hopelessly, completely lost.

"I need to start getting home," said Kagome. "Botan, this is my home address; you can get a hold of me there. It would be fun to talk again!"

"Okay... Bye."

"Good bye, everyone. C'mon, Inu-yasha!"

As the two new-comers left Kurama spoke again. "Okay, Kuwabara, I'll explain what's happening. Yusuke, why don't you try finishing putting up your tent? It might be a bit damp at this point, though... Botan, you go take that walk."

As Botan left she noticed the light rain that was still falling, softly, nearly silent.

Sorrow whispers of a quiet
That falls with rain.

--A Sorrow Song by Anonymous (poem)

Botan left quickly, walking into deeper forest where a deep silence lay heavy. Sitting down she leaned against an ancient tree, old and gnarled; rain fell all around it but its tangled mass of branches kept all rain but a few heavy drops from reaching the ground. She stared at the hushed world and, slowly, almost imperceptibly, a tear fell, tracing a glistening trail down her cheek like the glow of the moon's path on ocean.

Once more Hiei had followed Botan, unable to say anything to her. He hadn't expected her to start crying... Why was she so sorrowful? He wanted to ask her, to find out what it was, to do anything to ease her sorrow, but stopped himself.

Why did I have to fall in love with him? He thinks it's terrible enough that his instinct's chosen me. How do you think he'd respond to finding out that I've fallen in love with him? He thinks I'm less than worthless as it is...

"Why'd I have to fall in love?" whispered Botan, barely loud enough to be heard, even right next to each other. Hiei would have missed it completely...except for demon-strong hearing.

She's in love? Who with? he thought. I know it's not me...

"He'll never love me back..."

Why does always think nobody will love her? She's so wonderful... How could anyone not?

"It's just his mating instinct... Nothing more. I can't believe that he might actually love me back..."

Hiei's mind went blank. But that means me...

"Why would he love me?"

Why would she love me? I thought she was frightened by me...

"Everything will just go back to normal after this is done. Everything will be... the same. The way it was before..."

She loved him. The thought echoed in his mind. Why?

Botan turned to leave; she was starting to feel cold, and it's easier to stay comfortable than warm yourself back up, especially when you're camping. She turned and headed back up the trail she had walked down. The rain overhead started to slack off, slowing to a few sporadic droplets. She sighed heavily; this was shaping up to be the worst (and longest) day in existence.

"Onna," said a voice behind her. Only one person called her that; she turned.

"Hiei..." there was a tremulous nervous sorrowful pain in her voice; it dug sharply into him.

"I... Really listen to me. Don't... just don't think this is instinct talking; it only goes so far. I've...I've realized that I love you."

Hiei looked away, not bearing to see her response.

A choked sob made him look back. Botan was weeping half-silently into her hands, shoulders shaking with pent-up emotion. Looking up, tears falling down her cheeks she gave an unbelieving, painfully hopeful half-smile. "Re-" her voice cracked. "Really?"

"Yes," said Hiei, stepping forward hesitantly. Botan smiled, slow and deep, sorrow still lurking in her face.

"I think I love you too."

(1) Preincarnation: A previous incarnation; reincarnation implies following someone, which doesn't fit the situation. Yes, this is a made up word...