"You will never make it better, it will always hurt you fucking asshole"
On the train I got this panick feeling. Iwas sitting there watching the countryside swap for more and more buildings and I don't know why but I was suddnely afraid. Not of here. Just afraid of leaving I think, I don't know.
My dad is being especially wierd, he's being so nice. I woke up this morning and was watching TV and he came in saying "IS ( Read more... )
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you were so fucking happy yesterday, so amazing.
what happened?
listen, please try not to worry! please. just go with the flow (so corny)and see what happens, there is no point in panicking before the bad shit happens, cos you never know it might never happen and then you will feel like shite!
you sound so sad. it makes me sad.
i am so sorry about your dad. i never realised quite the effect he had on you, never knew the true depth of feeling that went along with him. i wish i had. then i might possibly have been able to say something, do something before you went to see him to make you feel better.
just relax. dont let him manipulate you. hold your ground. but enjoy it. have a laugh. and just remember that on saturday we are going to be FUCKED, whether we have pills, shrooms, loads of weed, rum whatever we are gonna be wasted! so look forward to it and have an amazing week. i will ring you soon.
love you so much
EMly x x x x
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Emly<3
Thank you...zxz
And i'm fine, just feeling a bit kinda isolated but I will be cool and happy when I get back for your birthday, I promise.
I don't even know while he has this effect, he's honestly not that bad, really he's not, he's never hit me or anything so it's all good.
I reckon he'll just be nice the entire time.
"Take what your getting and give nothing back" thats my motto for this week.
Anyway, been trying to call you, will try tonnightish.
Love.
zxz
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