Bullying
From now on, I'll be posting about bullying here in dreamer_easy rather than at kateorman - probably about once a week. For health reasons, I'm taking a break, but I am adding links to this posting from time to time.
Help and hope:
Nothing ruins your life forever. NOTHING. After forty-two years of cock-ups and catastrophes, I can confirm it's true! :D
Coming out: gay friendly schools form rainbow alliance, SMH 20 October
Facebook Working with GLAAD to Stop Anti-Gay Bullying
bodlon: Spirit Day, and what 'better' looks like to me
kelemvor: It Gets Better
STOP Cyberbullying
Bad news for bullies:
Stalker served AVO via Facebook, SMH 20 October
New study findings show pervasive bullying of and violence toward transgender and gender non-conforming people, alarmingly high rates of suicide attempts
When Bullying Turns Deadly: Can It Be Stopped?, Time 24 October
Students should not fear being out and proud, SMH 25 october
Religious Undercurrent Ripples In Anti-Gay Bullying, NPR, 26 October
Surgery for bully victim , SMH 27 October
4 Bullied Teen Deaths At Ohio School, Huffington Post 8 October
Things that make you go "Hmm...": "In recent years psychologists have exposed the many ways that people subconsciously maintain and massage their moral self-image. They rate themselves as morally superior to the next person; overestimate the likelihood that they will act virtuously in the future; see their own good intentions as praiseworthy while dismissing others' as inconsequential."
ETA in 2011:
Flaming drives online social networks, New Scientist 7 December 2010
Hate and the internet, Observer 12 December 2010
Five myths about bullying, Washington Post 30 December 2010
Parents take revenge on cyber bullies, SMH 4 February 2011
laughingrat on the privilege of staying calm: "The bully, asserting a power and authority he clearly has been trained to consider firmly his own, brutalizes the victim emotionally or physically. The bully, of course, does not get upset; the bully is happy. The bully is reaffirmed in his superiority. The victim, however, may well fall apart; she may well scream, sob, walk away, begin shaking, or retaliate physically or verbally. It is incredibly understandable for the victim to be triggered in such a situation, because her basic humanity, as well as her immediate happiness and calm, has been directly attacked. Nevertheless, as understandable--as rational--as triggering is in such a situation, and as irrational as cruelty is from the bully, it is the victim who gets labeled irrational, and gets told to 'control herself' and 'just not get upset.' The gross injustice and added irrationality of such a response from friends, peers, teachers, supervisors, police, etc. only adds to the victim's fear, anger, and wounding. It only causes further upset."
What happens when mean girls grow up?, Washington Post, 20 February 2011. "Indirect aggression was less acceptable to older women because it was no longer the norm. Seniors outgrow this behavior or at least have the ability to recognize it as juvenile."
Who is being so toxic on the net? And why?
netbullies.com has info and advice for parents.
How my childhood friend became an Internet laughingstock. "There's always some sap in the comments saying, 'This isn't funny, that's a real person with real feelings.' Well, yeah, but they aren't my feelings, so ... To show such concern on the Internet is a sign of weakness; it's called being "butthurt." Now I've found myself in the awkward position of being butthurt myself. I'm acting like troll bait, and it's an uncomfortable place to be."
Help and hope:
Nothing ruins your life forever. NOTHING. After forty-two years of cock-ups and catastrophes, I can confirm it's true! :D
Coming out: gay friendly schools form rainbow alliance, SMH 20 October
Facebook Working with GLAAD to Stop Anti-Gay Bullying
bodlon: Spirit Day, and what 'better' looks like to me
kelemvor: It Gets Better
STOP Cyberbullying
Bad news for bullies:
Stalker served AVO via Facebook, SMH 20 October
New study findings show pervasive bullying of and violence toward transgender and gender non-conforming people, alarmingly high rates of suicide attempts
When Bullying Turns Deadly: Can It Be Stopped?, Time 24 October
Students should not fear being out and proud, SMH 25 october
Religious Undercurrent Ripples In Anti-Gay Bullying, NPR, 26 October
Surgery for bully victim , SMH 27 October
4 Bullied Teen Deaths At Ohio School, Huffington Post 8 October
Things that make you go "Hmm...": "In recent years psychologists have exposed the many ways that people subconsciously maintain and massage their moral self-image. They rate themselves as morally superior to the next person; overestimate the likelihood that they will act virtuously in the future; see their own good intentions as praiseworthy while dismissing others' as inconsequential."
ETA in 2011:
Flaming drives online social networks, New Scientist 7 December 2010
Hate and the internet, Observer 12 December 2010
Five myths about bullying, Washington Post 30 December 2010
Parents take revenge on cyber bullies, SMH 4 February 2011
laughingrat on the privilege of staying calm: "The bully, asserting a power and authority he clearly has been trained to consider firmly his own, brutalizes the victim emotionally or physically. The bully, of course, does not get upset; the bully is happy. The bully is reaffirmed in his superiority. The victim, however, may well fall apart; she may well scream, sob, walk away, begin shaking, or retaliate physically or verbally. It is incredibly understandable for the victim to be triggered in such a situation, because her basic humanity, as well as her immediate happiness and calm, has been directly attacked. Nevertheless, as understandable--as rational--as triggering is in such a situation, and as irrational as cruelty is from the bully, it is the victim who gets labeled irrational, and gets told to 'control herself' and 'just not get upset.' The gross injustice and added irrationality of such a response from friends, peers, teachers, supervisors, police, etc. only adds to the victim's fear, anger, and wounding. It only causes further upset."
What happens when mean girls grow up?, Washington Post, 20 February 2011. "Indirect aggression was less acceptable to older women because it was no longer the norm. Seniors outgrow this behavior or at least have the ability to recognize it as juvenile."
Who is being so toxic on the net? And why?
netbullies.com has info and advice for parents.
How my childhood friend became an Internet laughingstock. "There's always some sap in the comments saying, 'This isn't funny, that's a real person with real feelings.' Well, yeah, but they aren't my feelings, so ... To show such concern on the Internet is a sign of weakness; it's called being "butthurt." Now I've found myself in the awkward position of being butthurt myself. I'm acting like troll bait, and it's an uncomfortable place to be."