Home
I have decided to post about a thought I recently had about Home and where it currently isnt.
It's a bit angsty but what can I say, I'm just a big old angst bucket.
So it's almost time for David and me to say farewell to Tulsa/Colorado and return to Atlanta. It doesn't really feel like I'm going home because frankly Georgia is not my home. We moved to Georgia for the express purpose of going to school and then leaving. I've tried to cultivate a new life while in the state but it's very difficult to let yourself completely relax when you know that in less than two years you will just have to say goodbye to it all.
Spending Christmas break in Tulsa and Colorado has made me think about a few things. The first is that I will never be at home unless I have David there with me. However, having David with me does not garuntee that I am home. Home requires just a little more. First it requires at least a semblance of permanency. Georgia simply does not have that feeling. Second Home requires friends, friends that you can count on for just about anything. We have Will and Carol in Georgia but they are just as busy as we are and we barely get to see one another these days.
Suffice it to say I am growing weary of feeling as if I have no home. Tulsa itself isn't home for me. It holds pieces of home like my friends who still live here but I never get that feeling that I am where I should be. When I go to Colorado Springs I feel that I could definitely be at home there, but then I would be missing out in the friend department. St. Louis definitely seemed like a great place to live and I have friends out there, and possibly more in the next few years, but I don't know enough about the area to know how I'd feel living there. I would love to try and find a job in either St. Louis or in the Denver area but it seems as if Government jobs not in DC are hard to come by. I really really don't like the idea of living in DC. I know that we will probably have to live there for at least two years and I know that I will probably want to bail as soon as possible, whether I like my job or not.
In the end I feel homeless. I feel as if David and I are simply wandering. I am thankful that I am still in contact with most of my friends and that their love and companionship help make these weird transition years so much better. Hopefully sometime soon David and I can set down and stay in one place for longer than a few years and start to grow some roots, even if we have to move one or two times more, it will be better than now.
I am also playing around with some thoughts about Free will and a funny observance about atheists but I'll post those when I've thought through them a little more.
Happy New Year everyone!
It's a bit angsty but what can I say, I'm just a big old angst bucket.
So it's almost time for David and me to say farewell to Tulsa/Colorado and return to Atlanta. It doesn't really feel like I'm going home because frankly Georgia is not my home. We moved to Georgia for the express purpose of going to school and then leaving. I've tried to cultivate a new life while in the state but it's very difficult to let yourself completely relax when you know that in less than two years you will just have to say goodbye to it all.
Spending Christmas break in Tulsa and Colorado has made me think about a few things. The first is that I will never be at home unless I have David there with me. However, having David with me does not garuntee that I am home. Home requires just a little more. First it requires at least a semblance of permanency. Georgia simply does not have that feeling. Second Home requires friends, friends that you can count on for just about anything. We have Will and Carol in Georgia but they are just as busy as we are and we barely get to see one another these days.
Suffice it to say I am growing weary of feeling as if I have no home. Tulsa itself isn't home for me. It holds pieces of home like my friends who still live here but I never get that feeling that I am where I should be. When I go to Colorado Springs I feel that I could definitely be at home there, but then I would be missing out in the friend department. St. Louis definitely seemed like a great place to live and I have friends out there, and possibly more in the next few years, but I don't know enough about the area to know how I'd feel living there. I would love to try and find a job in either St. Louis or in the Denver area but it seems as if Government jobs not in DC are hard to come by. I really really don't like the idea of living in DC. I know that we will probably have to live there for at least two years and I know that I will probably want to bail as soon as possible, whether I like my job or not.
In the end I feel homeless. I feel as if David and I are simply wandering. I am thankful that I am still in contact with most of my friends and that their love and companionship help make these weird transition years so much better. Hopefully sometime soon David and I can set down and stay in one place for longer than a few years and start to grow some roots, even if we have to move one or two times more, it will be better than now.
I am also playing around with some thoughts about Free will and a funny observance about atheists but I'll post those when I've thought through them a little more.
Happy New Year everyone!