fic: everything
title: everything
pairing: kurt/blaine
word count: 7, 653 words
rating: nc-17
summary: Kurt is a nervous bunny hyrbrid who's spent his whole life blocking people out when they get too close. Blaine is a wistful human, achingly in love with him. Will Blaine ever win him over?
a/n: filled for this prompt at the glee kink meme.
--
Blaine let out a wistful sigh as he leant against the wooden counter, his eyes wide and dreamy as the adorable Kurt Hummel scurried past, hurried in his usual morning routine. Blaine already had Mike at work getting his coffee. He ordered the same thing every morning.
Blaine had noticed.
Blaine had noticed a lot about Kurt. He had noticed that he had the most brilliant eyes; a blue/grey/green that sparkled prettily under the fluorescent coffee house lighting and constantly haunted his dreams. He had noticed that his hair was a light brown, always meticulously styled and looked so soft and pretty that Blaine sort of wanted to touch it.
Blaine had noticed a lot more than that, but there was one thing that overruled every little mannerism he had filed away.
He had noticed that Kurt Hummel was perfect.
Perfect from his designer boots to his floppy ears that bounced adorably when he was excited. Perfect from his cheeks, flushed in the cold winter winds, to his eyelashes, fluttering nervously as he hastily avoided eye contact with strangers. Kurt was shy, but it only made him that more adorable.
Blaine was smitten.
But he was sure Kurt hadn't noticed.
**
But as observant as Blaine Anderson was, he was wrong. Because Kurt HAD noticed him. Of course he had. How could the charismatic, charming theatre student simply be not noticed? Everybody knew Blaine. And most people loved him.
Kurt was jealous of him.
He walked with a confidence that he now feared he'd never be able to ascertain. Throughout his high school years he went to a school that was for both humans and hybrids. His father had been insistent about it. He didn't want him to be disadvantaged at any level in social interaction for who he was.
But funnily enough, it wasn't being half bunny that got him bullied.
It was the fact that he was gay.
Back in high school he had been much like Blaine; proud of who he was, confident and happy. But others hadn't quite...appreciated that.
They had a football team at McKinley. They were practically unbeatable, full of the most vicious wolf hybrids and the most intimidating humans. Anyone with sense was afraid of them.
But Kurt hadn't had sense... or at least enough sense to hide away from them.
They gave sufficient warning. They taunted him constantly in the halls, calling him dreadful names (names so terrible that they shall not be repeated, even through storytelling) that threatened his confidence.
And yet he continued to hold his head high.
They couldn't break him. Not with their name calling, not with the slushie throwing, the dumpster tossing, the toilet dunking, the vandalism of his property, or even with the stealing.
But one night they found a way.
It was after a football game. They were high on adrenaline and Kurt was just cleaning off in the showers (he was on the school cheerleading team; his adorable bunny traits were enough to win over the judges, especially when matched with his amazing skill and trilling voice) when they found him.
Kurt had been in hospital for a week after.
And he had never been the same since.
**
It had been easier since coming to NYADA where he was truly appreciated for his potential and he actually had friends (few and in-between, but they existed). He was still nervous around strangers and somewhat jumpy at loud noises (etc.) but he didn't feel quite so scared anymore.
He just wished he could be normal. Like Blaine.
He just wished that he had the confidence to go out for a lead role or get a job in customer service or put on impromptu performances all around campus to get tips so he could go out clubbing with his friends.
He wanted that college experience.
He hated the bullies for what they did to him. They had broken him.
And he was still, slowly putting himself back together.
"Kurt!"
Kurt shushed his friend as he hurried over to their small table they'd secured. She gave him a sheepish smile as he sat in the chair opposite her, his ears burning bashfully.
"I'm sorry," Rachel said, "but I have news."
Rachel Berry was his best friend; a fellow theatre major at NYADA and one of his few remaining friends from high school. Out of all of them, she had understood him the most. She had been bullied lots too; she was a hybrid also. A cat. A very obnoxious one at that...
But she loved Kurt and respected him and understood his wild dreams and had helped him get here in the first place.
They worked well together.
Most of the time.
"Go on," Kurt urged, taking a small sip of his mocha.
"This Friday..." she began excitedly, drumming her pretty pink nails against the wooden table, "are the auditions for a community production of Spring Awakening!"
Kurt tried his best to smile. "That's nice..." he commented.
"Come on, Kurt," Rachel sighed. "You would make a flawless Ernst."
Kurt didn't doubt it. They both had the sex appeal of... well, a bunny rabbit.
"I don't know, Rachel..." he said hesitantly.
"Please, Kurt," she pleaded. "It won't be as fun without you... besides," she softened her voice, "I know you're scared... but you'll never move past this if you don't try. You need to put yourself out there more. Meet some more people." Kurt shuddered at the very thought.
"Please!" Rachel intoned loudly. Kurt shushed her once more, sinking a little in his seat and biting his lower lip in consideration.
"I'll... think about it..." he decided. Rachel gave a small triumphant smile, clearly thinking she had won this round.
And deep down, Kurt knew she had.
**
Blaine watched Kurt and his other hybrid leave with an adoring sigh. He knew he was being creepy (his friends told him so... repeatedly) and his admiration was blaringly obvious.
He just wanted Kurt to notice him.
"Dude," Mike said from beside him, snapping him out of his trance. "If you want him to notice you, I have the perfect opportunity..."
Blaine looked up in interest. "Go on..."
Mike grinned. "I overheard him and Rachel talking about the audition for the community production of Spring Awakening. I was thinking you should audition."
Blaine felt a rush of hope fill in his chest and he was suddenly filled with a great burst of affection for his best friend.
"You and I both, buddy," he announced, clapping him on the back. "I saw you had your eye on that cute little blue bird..."
Mike gave a dreamy sigh. "Tina's beautiful..."
Blaine rolled his eyes as he heard the stern voice of their employer behind them.
"Back to work boys!"
**
In the back corner of the stage, Kurt hovered near the wings, his script fluttering in his shaking hands. He was so nervous he felt like he was going to be sick. Rachel was right beside him, warming up her voice, but only reminded him of how much talent was right here in this room.
Would he be able to live up?
He knew he was just as talented as the rest of them.
He just didn’t have the confidence to show it.
“Alright guys!” the director called, gathering them around. “Auditions are about to begin. We’re going to start with male leads, so if you aren’t auditioning for a male part could you please go wait in the back room.”
Rachel gave Kurt a quick peck on the cheek before filing out with the others. Kurt stared after her helplessly, wishing he could follow.
No, he had to do this.
“We’ll pair you up between the roles you have selected and you will be called up in your groups to audition.”
Kurt listened attentively as he awaited his name to be called. His bunny ears perked up as he heard his name alongside…
“-and Blaine Anderson.”
Kurt felt his mouth drop a little as he caught the boy’s eye across stage. He was smiling brilliantly, his eyes shining with excitement. Kurt felt his heart sink. He had heard Blaine sing, he had watched him act.
There was no way he was getting a part with Blaine standing right next to him.
**
Blaine was ecstatic. This was even more than he could have hoped for. A chance to actually talk with Kurt without him being able to run away from him. And he would be able to sing with him! He wouldn’t be able to ignore him now…
He hurried over, wearing his most charming smile and tapped Kurt on the shoulder lightly.
“Hey there,” he greeted him.
Kurt jumped about half a mile, his eyes wide and fearful as he whirled around to face him.
Blaine instantly felt a rush of guilt in his chest, remembering how skittish Kurt got around strangers. He felt instantly awful and went to pat his shoulder in sorry, feeling hurt as Kurt jerked away.
“Sorry,” he muttered.
Kurt bit his lip, his eyes wide and distrusting. “It’s okay…” he said wearily. “I’m… I’m sorry too. I-I just… I’m not good with people.”
Blaine gave him a small smile. “It’s okay,” he said gently. “I just thought I should introduce myself before we do the audition.”
Kurt nodded. “Right,” he said, exhaling. “I’m Kurt… Kurt Hummel.”
I know… Blaine thought wistfully. He stuck out his hand for him to shake. “I’m Blaine, Blaine Anderson.”
Kurt shook his hand carefully and Blaine practically melted at his touch. His hands were so freaking soft.
“Nice to meet you,” Blaine smiled. At last, his mind added.
Kurt nodded. “You too.”
**
When they were finally called up to audition, Kurt felt his insides turn nervously. What if he stuffed up? What if they laughed at him?
“It’s okay,” Blaine said with a reassuring smile, petting his shoulder in a way that sent strange sparks down Kurt’s spine. “You’ll be fine.” He winked and Kurt’s heart fluttered - and it wasn’t from the nerves.
Frowning in confusion, Kurt followed him up the stairs. What was he feeling?
These thoughts melted away as the director called scene and he descended into his role. Blaine’s smirk was cocky and confident as he drawled over his lines, Kurt stammering after in perfect character. At least his shyness counted for something…
Fuck. He really should have read the script more thoroughly.
Because his words got caught in his throat as Blaine leant in closer, his hot breath tickling his cheek as he captured his lips in a deep kiss.
Kurt had only ever been kissed twice before. The first was with a girl and he had felt nothing.
The second was with a boy who had forced it on him, and then he only felt repulsed.
But this was… this was everything.
He felt it in the tips of his toes, dancing in his shoes. He felt it against the heel of his hand, bracing against the floor. His mind was whirling and his heart was flipping wildly somewhere in his stomach.
When he pulled back, Kurt couldn’t help the little whimper that escaped his throat. Still in character, Blaine leant back and smirked, humming appreciatively.
“I know,” he drawled.
“Cut!” the director called. “Thanks guys,” he said. “We’ll get back to you.”
Kurt gave him a brief smile of thanks before half running off stage, leaving before Blaine could say goodbye.
**
The next day, Mike found Blaine slumped up against the counter as the gentle tide of people drifted through the warm confines of their shop. Business was slow today; tedious and dragging, to match Blaine’s dreary mood. Mike winced at the sight of his face, grim as he nodded his greeting.
“Dare I ask what happened?” Mike asked carefully, biting his lip anxiously.
Blaine sighed. “I think I scared him off.”
“That wouldn’t have been too hard,” Mike muttered. Blaine narrowed his eyes at him. “That’s not what I meant,” Mike chuckled. “I’m just saying that he’s a pretty shy guy… and you’re… intense, man.”
“He didn’t say goodbye,” Blaine moaned, his face slipping into his palms, hidden from Mike’s line of sight.
“Wait…” Mike held up his hands. “You’re worried because this guy that you only just met didn’t say goodbye to you?”
“He ran off,” Blaine said, his voice muffled by the press of his hands. “He wouldn’t look me in the eye.”
“He’s shy!” Mike exclaimed. “Come on, Blaine, give him a chance.”
Blaine sighed. “Whatever,” he grumbled.
Mike rolled his eyes, knowing there was no use trying when he was in this state of mind.
“If it helps,” Mike said lightly, “I overheard director telling Mr Green that they were posting the cast list today.”
That got Blaine’s attention. He lifted his head out of his hands, his eyes bright.
“And…” Mike added with a wicked grin, “They’re posting it just before dinner.”
Blaine gasped, checking his watch frantically. “Mike!” he shouted. “That’s in ten minutes!”
Mike chuckled as Blaine pushed past him, ignoring his co-workers shouts as he sprinted from the small shop.
It was a good thing they were short on staff.
**
Kurt hovered around the cafeteria until after lunch was over, waiting until the steady stream of people had finally disappeared before venturing to take a quick peek at the signup sheets.
He glanced around at the practically empty hall before sneaking silently across the space towards the looming noticeboard. He blinked his blue eyes up at the paper, his insides fluttering madly with both fear and hopeful excitement.
And there it was.
Right underneath the neatly printed script Ernst.
Kurt Hummel.
He couldn’t help the little squeal that escaped him. He had done it! He had finally gotten a role!
His fingers were already dipping inside his bag, searching for his phone to call Rachel (there was no way she already knew - she wouldn’t have been able to withhold something like this) when he heard a startlingly warm and familiar voice behind him.
“Congratulations,” the voice said happily, “you got the part!”
Kurt whirled around, unable to help the little involuntary jolt of fright as he came face to
face with Blaine, his smile unbelievably wide and bright.
“Uhh, yeah,” Kurt stammered, blushing, “I did.”
“So it looks like we’ll be working together,” Blaine grinned. Kurt was confused for a moment before it doomed on him.
Blaine was Hanschen.
“Oh, right,” he said with a shy smile. “Congratulations, too, then.”
“Thank you,” Blaine beamed. Kurt felt his heart flip sillily under the light of his smile, feeling awfully dull and sallow in his presence.
“I-I should go,” he said quietly, fastening up his bag as quickly as he could, missing the way Blaine’s face fell.
“Oh, okay then,” he said. “I’ll see you in rehearsal.”
“See you.”
**
About an hour later found Kurt in his dorm room, huddled in a chair in front of his full length mirror, starting at his miserable reflection with an expression of loathing.
“Why are you such a freak?” he whispered into the silence of the room. “Why can’t you be normal and happy and confident like Blaine - like the rest of them? You don’t deserve this stupid role… they’re probably going to take it from you after you stuff up.”
He wasn’t usually like this.
This wasn’t him.
The feelings of self-shame threatened to consume him as he rocked in his seat, clutching frantically at his ears, willing them to just disappear.
“I feel like I could disappear,” Kurt breathed. “Like I could just float away.”
**
Pacing his room aggressively, Blaine stormed about, kicking up the clothes that were strewn across the floor.
“What did I do, Mike?” he moaned sadly. “I just want him to talk to me… I didn’t mean to scare him off.”
“Give him a chance,” Mike tried.
“Ugh,” Blaine groaned, flopping on the bed beside him, ignoring the pillow that Mike hit him with as he tried to snuggle up to his side. “Why do I have to be so stupid and intense and he probably thinks I’m arrogant and ugh.” He sighed. “I can’t do anything right.”
**
A little while later Rachel found him curled up in bed asleep, fresh tear tracks staining his cheeks. Emitting a sad smile, she pressed a kiss to his forehead and stroked his hair soothingly.
“I wish you could be happy, my bunny,” she whispered. “You don’t know how magical you are.”
**
“It’ll be fine,” Mike said reassuringly as he hung up the phone. He had ordered in pizza and
Blaine was putting on an action movie. They needed a guy’s night. “I mean you’re Blaine Anderson-
” Blaine couldn’t help but smile at his tone, “-what can’t you do?”
“I’m seeing him again tomorrow,” Blaine said quietly, “at rehearsal.”
Mike grinned, clapping him on the shoulder. “Atta boy,” he enthused. “You’ll be fine.”
Blaine sighed and played with the pillow he was hugging to his chest.
He just hoped Mike was right.
**
The next day when they met up for practice, Blaine was practically bouncing with excitement.
“You’d think you were the hybrid,” Mike muttered. Blaine shoved him in return.
Nothing could bring him down today.
He was going to make Kurt not-scared of him!
No matter what it took.
He met him outside the drama room with a non-fat mocha ready in his hand. They were doing a full script run through and Blaine sensed he’d need the caffeine. He hadn’t shown up for breakfast as usual.
“Morning, Kurt,” Blaine greeted him, trying to tone down his smile. He held out the coffee. “I noticed you weren’t at the shop this morning so I thought I’d bring you coffee.”
Kurt looked at him, his lips slightly parted and his pretty eyes wide with astonishment. “You know my coffee order?” he breathed.
“Of course I do,” he scoffed, immediately blushing at how bold he sounded. “I mean-”
“Thank you.” Kurt took the coffee from him and Blaine’s stomach fluttered at the genuine smile he flashed him. Kurt took an eager sip. “I was running late this morning,” he explained, playing with one of his cute floppy ears shyly, “and I didn’t get time to stop by.”
Blaine nodded in understanding. “Good thing I brought it then. It’s gonna be a long day…”
**
The rehearsal went… well. Kurt didn’t stuff anything up (although with a simple script read through, that wasn’t a big feat…) and he only blushed a very little bit at Blaine’s suggestive tone. He could handle his words - it was his actions that… scared him.
He felt stupid for being scared but that was what he was.
Fear was the unknown. And he didn’t know what made him scared. He didn’t know Blaine, didn’t know why the press of his lips on his made him feel like his whole body was on fire, didn’t know why his voice made his stomach flip or why his smile made his heart stutter. He was so confused and unsure. And he hated it.
When they finally were finished (Blaine was right - it was a long day…) Kurt was grateful and he waited for Rachel by the door. He knew she was disappointed she didn’t get the part she wanted, but he was still happy to be involved in the production at all.
“Hey, Kurt!”
Kurt winced at the sound of Blaine approaching and attempted to duck away but he knew it was pointless. You would have seen his jump of fright miles away.
“H-hi, Blaine,” Kurt stuttered, a wash of shame and frustration filling him. Ugh, why was this so hard?
“Sorry for frightening you,” Blaine said apologetically, his pretty eyes wide and sincere, making Kurt feel twice as bad.
He huffed in exasperation. “Why are you so nice?” he demanded.
Blaine frowned in confusion. “Sorry?” he asked.
“What do you want from me?”
Blaine’s face fell, his features softening, eyes wider and impossibly sad. “I just wanted to be your friend. I’m sorry if I’ve been anno- I’ll go.”
“NO!”
Kurt quickly clamped a hand over his mouth, horrified at his over-reaction. Blaine whirled back around in surprise and Kurt couldn’t help but tremble as tears threatened at his eyes. Ugh, he was so stupid and weak and silly and scared and Blaine was so wonderful and happy and nice and pretty and it wasn’t fair.
He couldn’t hold back the sob any longer and the tears began to spill down his cheeks.
“Oh, Kurt,” Blaine breathed, pulling Kurt into his arms, stroking his hair softly. Kurt only sobbed harder. His mother had been the last one to do that. He hated the pity in Blaine’s voice but oh, he hugged so nice and his arms were so warm around him and he felt ridiculously safe in his arms. He didn’t want to let go.
“I’m sorry,” Kurt uttered, his voice just above a whisper.
“Shhhh,” Blaine hushed him, rocking him soothingly. “Don’t cry little bunny.” Kurt only sobbed harder at the endearment. Blaine didn’t deserve this…
“You can let go now,” he whispered, although he really didn’t want to.
Slowly, Blaine untangled his arms and Kurt wiped fiercely at his eyes.
“Hey, now,” Blaine said softly, grabbing one of his hands in his. Kurt jumped a little as a spark of electricity thrilled through his skin. Blaine ignored it, holding his hand firmly. “Don’t shut me out,” Blaine said seriously. “Please… I want to be your friend. I want to be the one to hold you when you need it - I want to be here for you. Please, Kurt…”
You need to put yourself out there.
Rachel’s words echoed in his ears. She was right. He had to take that blind leap of trust that he had been avoiding for so many years. He had to let someone else in.
“O-okay,” he managed, sniffing a little bit. “Okay,” he repeated, more steadily and Blaine’s face lit up.
“Thank you,” Blaine said, his voice wavering with gratitude as he leaned in to bury Kurt in his embrace once more.
part 2
pairing: kurt/blaine
word count: 7, 653 words
rating: nc-17
summary: Kurt is a nervous bunny hyrbrid who's spent his whole life blocking people out when they get too close. Blaine is a wistful human, achingly in love with him. Will Blaine ever win him over?
a/n: filled for this prompt at the glee kink meme.
--
Blaine let out a wistful sigh as he leant against the wooden counter, his eyes wide and dreamy as the adorable Kurt Hummel scurried past, hurried in his usual morning routine. Blaine already had Mike at work getting his coffee. He ordered the same thing every morning.
Blaine had noticed.
Blaine had noticed a lot about Kurt. He had noticed that he had the most brilliant eyes; a blue/grey/green that sparkled prettily under the fluorescent coffee house lighting and constantly haunted his dreams. He had noticed that his hair was a light brown, always meticulously styled and looked so soft and pretty that Blaine sort of wanted to touch it.
Blaine had noticed a lot more than that, but there was one thing that overruled every little mannerism he had filed away.
He had noticed that Kurt Hummel was perfect.
Perfect from his designer boots to his floppy ears that bounced adorably when he was excited. Perfect from his cheeks, flushed in the cold winter winds, to his eyelashes, fluttering nervously as he hastily avoided eye contact with strangers. Kurt was shy, but it only made him that more adorable.
Blaine was smitten.
But he was sure Kurt hadn't noticed.
**
But as observant as Blaine Anderson was, he was wrong. Because Kurt HAD noticed him. Of course he had. How could the charismatic, charming theatre student simply be not noticed? Everybody knew Blaine. And most people loved him.
Kurt was jealous of him.
He walked with a confidence that he now feared he'd never be able to ascertain. Throughout his high school years he went to a school that was for both humans and hybrids. His father had been insistent about it. He didn't want him to be disadvantaged at any level in social interaction for who he was.
But funnily enough, it wasn't being half bunny that got him bullied.
It was the fact that he was gay.
Back in high school he had been much like Blaine; proud of who he was, confident and happy. But others hadn't quite...appreciated that.
They had a football team at McKinley. They were practically unbeatable, full of the most vicious wolf hybrids and the most intimidating humans. Anyone with sense was afraid of them.
But Kurt hadn't had sense... or at least enough sense to hide away from them.
They gave sufficient warning. They taunted him constantly in the halls, calling him dreadful names (names so terrible that they shall not be repeated, even through storytelling) that threatened his confidence.
And yet he continued to hold his head high.
They couldn't break him. Not with their name calling, not with the slushie throwing, the dumpster tossing, the toilet dunking, the vandalism of his property, or even with the stealing.
But one night they found a way.
It was after a football game. They were high on adrenaline and Kurt was just cleaning off in the showers (he was on the school cheerleading team; his adorable bunny traits were enough to win over the judges, especially when matched with his amazing skill and trilling voice) when they found him.
Kurt had been in hospital for a week after.
And he had never been the same since.
**
It had been easier since coming to NYADA where he was truly appreciated for his potential and he actually had friends (few and in-between, but they existed). He was still nervous around strangers and somewhat jumpy at loud noises (etc.) but he didn't feel quite so scared anymore.
He just wished he could be normal. Like Blaine.
He just wished that he had the confidence to go out for a lead role or get a job in customer service or put on impromptu performances all around campus to get tips so he could go out clubbing with his friends.
He wanted that college experience.
He hated the bullies for what they did to him. They had broken him.
And he was still, slowly putting himself back together.
"Kurt!"
Kurt shushed his friend as he hurried over to their small table they'd secured. She gave him a sheepish smile as he sat in the chair opposite her, his ears burning bashfully.
"I'm sorry," Rachel said, "but I have news."
Rachel Berry was his best friend; a fellow theatre major at NYADA and one of his few remaining friends from high school. Out of all of them, she had understood him the most. She had been bullied lots too; she was a hybrid also. A cat. A very obnoxious one at that...
But she loved Kurt and respected him and understood his wild dreams and had helped him get here in the first place.
They worked well together.
Most of the time.
"Go on," Kurt urged, taking a small sip of his mocha.
"This Friday..." she began excitedly, drumming her pretty pink nails against the wooden table, "are the auditions for a community production of Spring Awakening!"
Kurt tried his best to smile. "That's nice..." he commented.
"Come on, Kurt," Rachel sighed. "You would make a flawless Ernst."
Kurt didn't doubt it. They both had the sex appeal of... well, a bunny rabbit.
"I don't know, Rachel..." he said hesitantly.
"Please, Kurt," she pleaded. "It won't be as fun without you... besides," she softened her voice, "I know you're scared... but you'll never move past this if you don't try. You need to put yourself out there more. Meet some more people." Kurt shuddered at the very thought.
"Please!" Rachel intoned loudly. Kurt shushed her once more, sinking a little in his seat and biting his lower lip in consideration.
"I'll... think about it..." he decided. Rachel gave a small triumphant smile, clearly thinking she had won this round.
And deep down, Kurt knew she had.
**
Blaine watched Kurt and his other hybrid leave with an adoring sigh. He knew he was being creepy (his friends told him so... repeatedly) and his admiration was blaringly obvious.
He just wanted Kurt to notice him.
"Dude," Mike said from beside him, snapping him out of his trance. "If you want him to notice you, I have the perfect opportunity..."
Blaine looked up in interest. "Go on..."
Mike grinned. "I overheard him and Rachel talking about the audition for the community production of Spring Awakening. I was thinking you should audition."
Blaine felt a rush of hope fill in his chest and he was suddenly filled with a great burst of affection for his best friend.
"You and I both, buddy," he announced, clapping him on the back. "I saw you had your eye on that cute little blue bird..."
Mike gave a dreamy sigh. "Tina's beautiful..."
Blaine rolled his eyes as he heard the stern voice of their employer behind them.
"Back to work boys!"
**
In the back corner of the stage, Kurt hovered near the wings, his script fluttering in his shaking hands. He was so nervous he felt like he was going to be sick. Rachel was right beside him, warming up her voice, but only reminded him of how much talent was right here in this room.
Would he be able to live up?
He knew he was just as talented as the rest of them.
He just didn’t have the confidence to show it.
“Alright guys!” the director called, gathering them around. “Auditions are about to begin. We’re going to start with male leads, so if you aren’t auditioning for a male part could you please go wait in the back room.”
Rachel gave Kurt a quick peck on the cheek before filing out with the others. Kurt stared after her helplessly, wishing he could follow.
No, he had to do this.
“We’ll pair you up between the roles you have selected and you will be called up in your groups to audition.”
Kurt listened attentively as he awaited his name to be called. His bunny ears perked up as he heard his name alongside…
“-and Blaine Anderson.”
Kurt felt his mouth drop a little as he caught the boy’s eye across stage. He was smiling brilliantly, his eyes shining with excitement. Kurt felt his heart sink. He had heard Blaine sing, he had watched him act.
There was no way he was getting a part with Blaine standing right next to him.
**
Blaine was ecstatic. This was even more than he could have hoped for. A chance to actually talk with Kurt without him being able to run away from him. And he would be able to sing with him! He wouldn’t be able to ignore him now…
He hurried over, wearing his most charming smile and tapped Kurt on the shoulder lightly.
“Hey there,” he greeted him.
Kurt jumped about half a mile, his eyes wide and fearful as he whirled around to face him.
Blaine instantly felt a rush of guilt in his chest, remembering how skittish Kurt got around strangers. He felt instantly awful and went to pat his shoulder in sorry, feeling hurt as Kurt jerked away.
“Sorry,” he muttered.
Kurt bit his lip, his eyes wide and distrusting. “It’s okay…” he said wearily. “I’m… I’m sorry too. I-I just… I’m not good with people.”
Blaine gave him a small smile. “It’s okay,” he said gently. “I just thought I should introduce myself before we do the audition.”
Kurt nodded. “Right,” he said, exhaling. “I’m Kurt… Kurt Hummel.”
I know… Blaine thought wistfully. He stuck out his hand for him to shake. “I’m Blaine, Blaine Anderson.”
Kurt shook his hand carefully and Blaine practically melted at his touch. His hands were so freaking soft.
“Nice to meet you,” Blaine smiled. At last, his mind added.
Kurt nodded. “You too.”
**
When they were finally called up to audition, Kurt felt his insides turn nervously. What if he stuffed up? What if they laughed at him?
“It’s okay,” Blaine said with a reassuring smile, petting his shoulder in a way that sent strange sparks down Kurt’s spine. “You’ll be fine.” He winked and Kurt’s heart fluttered - and it wasn’t from the nerves.
Frowning in confusion, Kurt followed him up the stairs. What was he feeling?
These thoughts melted away as the director called scene and he descended into his role. Blaine’s smirk was cocky and confident as he drawled over his lines, Kurt stammering after in perfect character. At least his shyness counted for something…
Fuck. He really should have read the script more thoroughly.
Because his words got caught in his throat as Blaine leant in closer, his hot breath tickling his cheek as he captured his lips in a deep kiss.
Kurt had only ever been kissed twice before. The first was with a girl and he had felt nothing.
The second was with a boy who had forced it on him, and then he only felt repulsed.
But this was… this was everything.
He felt it in the tips of his toes, dancing in his shoes. He felt it against the heel of his hand, bracing against the floor. His mind was whirling and his heart was flipping wildly somewhere in his stomach.
When he pulled back, Kurt couldn’t help the little whimper that escaped his throat. Still in character, Blaine leant back and smirked, humming appreciatively.
“I know,” he drawled.
“Cut!” the director called. “Thanks guys,” he said. “We’ll get back to you.”
Kurt gave him a brief smile of thanks before half running off stage, leaving before Blaine could say goodbye.
**
The next day, Mike found Blaine slumped up against the counter as the gentle tide of people drifted through the warm confines of their shop. Business was slow today; tedious and dragging, to match Blaine’s dreary mood. Mike winced at the sight of his face, grim as he nodded his greeting.
“Dare I ask what happened?” Mike asked carefully, biting his lip anxiously.
Blaine sighed. “I think I scared him off.”
“That wouldn’t have been too hard,” Mike muttered. Blaine narrowed his eyes at him. “That’s not what I meant,” Mike chuckled. “I’m just saying that he’s a pretty shy guy… and you’re… intense, man.”
“He didn’t say goodbye,” Blaine moaned, his face slipping into his palms, hidden from Mike’s line of sight.
“Wait…” Mike held up his hands. “You’re worried because this guy that you only just met didn’t say goodbye to you?”
“He ran off,” Blaine said, his voice muffled by the press of his hands. “He wouldn’t look me in the eye.”
“He’s shy!” Mike exclaimed. “Come on, Blaine, give him a chance.”
Blaine sighed. “Whatever,” he grumbled.
Mike rolled his eyes, knowing there was no use trying when he was in this state of mind.
“If it helps,” Mike said lightly, “I overheard director telling Mr Green that they were posting the cast list today.”
That got Blaine’s attention. He lifted his head out of his hands, his eyes bright.
“And…” Mike added with a wicked grin, “They’re posting it just before dinner.”
Blaine gasped, checking his watch frantically. “Mike!” he shouted. “That’s in ten minutes!”
Mike chuckled as Blaine pushed past him, ignoring his co-workers shouts as he sprinted from the small shop.
It was a good thing they were short on staff.
**
Kurt hovered around the cafeteria until after lunch was over, waiting until the steady stream of people had finally disappeared before venturing to take a quick peek at the signup sheets.
He glanced around at the practically empty hall before sneaking silently across the space towards the looming noticeboard. He blinked his blue eyes up at the paper, his insides fluttering madly with both fear and hopeful excitement.
And there it was.
Right underneath the neatly printed script Ernst.
Kurt Hummel.
He couldn’t help the little squeal that escaped him. He had done it! He had finally gotten a role!
His fingers were already dipping inside his bag, searching for his phone to call Rachel (there was no way she already knew - she wouldn’t have been able to withhold something like this) when he heard a startlingly warm and familiar voice behind him.
“Congratulations,” the voice said happily, “you got the part!”
Kurt whirled around, unable to help the little involuntary jolt of fright as he came face to
face with Blaine, his smile unbelievably wide and bright.
“Uhh, yeah,” Kurt stammered, blushing, “I did.”
“So it looks like we’ll be working together,” Blaine grinned. Kurt was confused for a moment before it doomed on him.
Blaine was Hanschen.
“Oh, right,” he said with a shy smile. “Congratulations, too, then.”
“Thank you,” Blaine beamed. Kurt felt his heart flip sillily under the light of his smile, feeling awfully dull and sallow in his presence.
“I-I should go,” he said quietly, fastening up his bag as quickly as he could, missing the way Blaine’s face fell.
“Oh, okay then,” he said. “I’ll see you in rehearsal.”
“See you.”
**
About an hour later found Kurt in his dorm room, huddled in a chair in front of his full length mirror, starting at his miserable reflection with an expression of loathing.
“Why are you such a freak?” he whispered into the silence of the room. “Why can’t you be normal and happy and confident like Blaine - like the rest of them? You don’t deserve this stupid role… they’re probably going to take it from you after you stuff up.”
He wasn’t usually like this.
This wasn’t him.
The feelings of self-shame threatened to consume him as he rocked in his seat, clutching frantically at his ears, willing them to just disappear.
“I feel like I could disappear,” Kurt breathed. “Like I could just float away.”
**
Pacing his room aggressively, Blaine stormed about, kicking up the clothes that were strewn across the floor.
“What did I do, Mike?” he moaned sadly. “I just want him to talk to me… I didn’t mean to scare him off.”
“Give him a chance,” Mike tried.
“Ugh,” Blaine groaned, flopping on the bed beside him, ignoring the pillow that Mike hit him with as he tried to snuggle up to his side. “Why do I have to be so stupid and intense and he probably thinks I’m arrogant and ugh.” He sighed. “I can’t do anything right.”
**
A little while later Rachel found him curled up in bed asleep, fresh tear tracks staining his cheeks. Emitting a sad smile, she pressed a kiss to his forehead and stroked his hair soothingly.
“I wish you could be happy, my bunny,” she whispered. “You don’t know how magical you are.”
**
“It’ll be fine,” Mike said reassuringly as he hung up the phone. He had ordered in pizza and
Blaine was putting on an action movie. They needed a guy’s night. “I mean you’re Blaine Anderson-
” Blaine couldn’t help but smile at his tone, “-what can’t you do?”
“I’m seeing him again tomorrow,” Blaine said quietly, “at rehearsal.”
Mike grinned, clapping him on the shoulder. “Atta boy,” he enthused. “You’ll be fine.”
Blaine sighed and played with the pillow he was hugging to his chest.
He just hoped Mike was right.
**
The next day when they met up for practice, Blaine was practically bouncing with excitement.
“You’d think you were the hybrid,” Mike muttered. Blaine shoved him in return.
Nothing could bring him down today.
He was going to make Kurt not-scared of him!
No matter what it took.
He met him outside the drama room with a non-fat mocha ready in his hand. They were doing a full script run through and Blaine sensed he’d need the caffeine. He hadn’t shown up for breakfast as usual.
“Morning, Kurt,” Blaine greeted him, trying to tone down his smile. He held out the coffee. “I noticed you weren’t at the shop this morning so I thought I’d bring you coffee.”
Kurt looked at him, his lips slightly parted and his pretty eyes wide with astonishment. “You know my coffee order?” he breathed.
“Of course I do,” he scoffed, immediately blushing at how bold he sounded. “I mean-”
“Thank you.” Kurt took the coffee from him and Blaine’s stomach fluttered at the genuine smile he flashed him. Kurt took an eager sip. “I was running late this morning,” he explained, playing with one of his cute floppy ears shyly, “and I didn’t get time to stop by.”
Blaine nodded in understanding. “Good thing I brought it then. It’s gonna be a long day…”
**
The rehearsal went… well. Kurt didn’t stuff anything up (although with a simple script read through, that wasn’t a big feat…) and he only blushed a very little bit at Blaine’s suggestive tone. He could handle his words - it was his actions that… scared him.
He felt stupid for being scared but that was what he was.
Fear was the unknown. And he didn’t know what made him scared. He didn’t know Blaine, didn’t know why the press of his lips on his made him feel like his whole body was on fire, didn’t know why his voice made his stomach flip or why his smile made his heart stutter. He was so confused and unsure. And he hated it.
When they finally were finished (Blaine was right - it was a long day…) Kurt was grateful and he waited for Rachel by the door. He knew she was disappointed she didn’t get the part she wanted, but he was still happy to be involved in the production at all.
“Hey, Kurt!”
Kurt winced at the sound of Blaine approaching and attempted to duck away but he knew it was pointless. You would have seen his jump of fright miles away.
“H-hi, Blaine,” Kurt stuttered, a wash of shame and frustration filling him. Ugh, why was this so hard?
“Sorry for frightening you,” Blaine said apologetically, his pretty eyes wide and sincere, making Kurt feel twice as bad.
He huffed in exasperation. “Why are you so nice?” he demanded.
Blaine frowned in confusion. “Sorry?” he asked.
“What do you want from me?”
Blaine’s face fell, his features softening, eyes wider and impossibly sad. “I just wanted to be your friend. I’m sorry if I’ve been anno- I’ll go.”
“NO!”
Kurt quickly clamped a hand over his mouth, horrified at his over-reaction. Blaine whirled back around in surprise and Kurt couldn’t help but tremble as tears threatened at his eyes. Ugh, he was so stupid and weak and silly and scared and Blaine was so wonderful and happy and nice and pretty and it wasn’t fair.
He couldn’t hold back the sob any longer and the tears began to spill down his cheeks.
“Oh, Kurt,” Blaine breathed, pulling Kurt into his arms, stroking his hair softly. Kurt only sobbed harder. His mother had been the last one to do that. He hated the pity in Blaine’s voice but oh, he hugged so nice and his arms were so warm around him and he felt ridiculously safe in his arms. He didn’t want to let go.
“I’m sorry,” Kurt uttered, his voice just above a whisper.
“Shhhh,” Blaine hushed him, rocking him soothingly. “Don’t cry little bunny.” Kurt only sobbed harder at the endearment. Blaine didn’t deserve this…
“You can let go now,” he whispered, although he really didn’t want to.
Slowly, Blaine untangled his arms and Kurt wiped fiercely at his eyes.
“Hey, now,” Blaine said softly, grabbing one of his hands in his. Kurt jumped a little as a spark of electricity thrilled through his skin. Blaine ignored it, holding his hand firmly. “Don’t shut me out,” Blaine said seriously. “Please… I want to be your friend. I want to be the one to hold you when you need it - I want to be here for you. Please, Kurt…”
You need to put yourself out there.
Rachel’s words echoed in his ears. She was right. He had to take that blind leap of trust that he had been avoiding for so many years. He had to let someone else in.
“O-okay,” he managed, sniffing a little bit. “Okay,” he repeated, more steadily and Blaine’s face lit up.
“Thank you,” Blaine said, his voice wavering with gratitude as he leaned in to bury Kurt in his embrace once more.
part 2