Aug 13, 2010 01:55
Dear Pamela,
I know that when we were in Heaven, you said you were okay, but I just can't shake the guilt from this one. I mean, you said you didn't want to help us but we just kept pushing and asking more of you than we really had a right to {...} and you still helped us. And look where that got you. Even if you're enjoying your own private slice of Heaven, I just can't let go of that.
So, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you lost your eyes, I'm sorry that we got you killed, but most of all {...} I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you. In that room the night you died, you told me that what I was doing was evil. Your dying words {...} and I still didn't listen to you. And I will never be able to forgive myself for that. You were right and I was so wrong, so very {...} very wrong. And I wish I would've listened, that I would have taken your advice. But all I can do is say I'm sorry.
You were great, Pam, and I wish things hadn't ended the way they did but at least knowing that you're happy up there, that you're enjoying your meadowlands, it makes all of this a little bit more bearable. I hope one day you can forgive me {...} and that someday I can forgive myself, too.
Sincerely,
Sam Winchester
letter meme,
pamela