{ chaptered } Tell Me Goodbye ★ Alternate ending
Title: Tell Me Goodbye [7/7] (The alternate ending I didn't want to use)
Fandom: Big Bang
Genre: Angst, smutfic
Pairing: GRi
Rating: R
Warning: You're going to hate me.
Summary: Her name was Yoomi.
N/A: OH HEY DIRECTOR'S CUT VERSION.
Her name was Yoomi.
She was a university student, majoring in communications at Kyunghee University. She was a part time uljjang model, she had a fit body generous in womanly features, had loads of confidence and ambition, had somewhat of tough independent attitude, a feminine and seductive talking voice and a slightly exotic accent. She knew how to cook, drive, made her own money, could sing, could act, could dance, could speak 7 languages, spent countless hours to help mentally disabled people, gave money to Haitian help charities, had a fine sense of fashion and she was probably perfect so there was no use enumerating all the things she could do.
She and Jiyong had been dating for 3 months already and he only just decided to introduce her to the YG Family.
Seungri did not ever notice the rings that ornamented her left ring finger and Jiyong's, he always thought it was a random piece of fashion that the leader decided to wear often or a pledge to music or something as random as that... But it was a couple ring and Seungri now knew who it tied Jiyong to.
She expressed herself so well, ate with grace and her laughter was contagious. Everyone around the table loved her. She and Chaerin had both traveled around the same places in the world because of their father's job so they had a lot to share, she and Minji had went to the same dance school, she could speak some Tagalog to Sandara, gave tips for an amazing diet to Bom, she used to rap in her youth and admire Biggie Smalls like Seunghyun, she knew trot and good jokes like Daesung, was a singer at her Christian church which impressed Youngbae a lot.
She could do it all. Seungri could understand why Jiyong chose her. She was amazing, even he could not deny it. Even YG approved of her and welcomed her into the family, telling Jiyong to not let go of such a pearl so he could marry her after military service. Seungri stayed silent. She was out of his league. YG liked her, he did not like him; there was no way he could compete with that at all.
"Seungri-sshi? Aren't you hungry?"
He looked up at her. She had the face of an angel and yet, he was able to hate it. He voices was soft, sweet and sincere and yet it made him cringe. She was beautiful and brilliant and had a great future ahead of her but Seungri just wished her the worse and he felt like an idiot for that. Not because she took the spot he wanted to have that she was horrible, he had to get used to her and maybe get to like her like everyone else did.
"I'm not hungry, Yoomi-sshi. My stomach hurts." He lied, looking down at the plate.
"Oh come on, Seungri. She took the time to dish us something, you should at least try it. It's really good." Daesung said between two mouthfuls of food.
"Babo, don't talk with your mouth full in front of my girlfriend. She's gonna run away." Jiyong joked and put an arm around her delicate shoulders, pressing a kiss on the side of her head.
So, she made it. That was just another reason to not eat this... and the public displays of attention were just making him even sicker.
"Excuse me." Seungri said and got up, "I'll go lay down."
"I could make you some tea. It's really good for the stoma--"
"No thanks." Seungri interrupted Yoomi's offer dryly, "I mean... No thank you. I will be alright. Please excuse me."
He left the table and headed back to Big Bang's dormitory to go sit on his bed and think.
He really lost everything to this woman.
Everything he had with Jiyong just burned to ashes and left with the wind. There was nothing left, now there was only Yoomi and her utter perfection. He could not change himself and become what she is. He knew he could not but right now, it was his dearest wish. He wanted to be her. He wanted to leave the imperfect Seungri and become as complete and accomplished as she was. Anyone not falling in love with Yoomi would be an idiot and he was the bigger one because he hated her and did not want anything to do with her. If Jiyong wanted to marry her, he would not attend the wedding at all. He did not need to feel the rejection grow ten times stronger.
Tears of frustration and sadness rolled down his cheeks. He felt beaten. It was time to give up, say goodbye and start over like Jiyong once said. He did not want to let go but that was probably what was better for him. He could not keep hurting himself like this, it was unhealthy. He dried his tears on his sleeve and got up. He checked into the mirror to see if his tears were not too obvious before heading to the door and opening it, getting himself ready to meet the face of his defeat again.
Seungri decided to get back on the staircase with the idea that he would just go back downstairs, talk about some American music with Yoomi and pretend everything was alright but his feet decided otherwise... He went upstairs instead, where the producers lived. The fun thing about those guys was that even if they were in America, they did not lock their dormitory room doors. They probably did not because they knew everyone feared those tough-looking guys' reaction to an intrusion. Seungri was used to getting scolded, what would it do if he entered Teddy's place?
Another funny thing about being in an agency where everyone were supposed to be gangsters was that the posing sometime came with accessories. Like the gun in Teddy's desk's second drawer that he showed off to Kush and Jiyong once when Seungri was cleaning the dishes not too far from their smoking circle.
He pulled it out of the drawer, looking at it and pointing at random things like he was an elite shooter from a video game or a movie... He saw Yoomi's image like shadows and pretended to shoot them all. Though he knew, she was not really here since it was all in his head.
All in his head. That was where the real problem was, was it not?
The end of the barrel was cold against his temple but somehow comforting enough for him to close his eyes and think. Think about Yoomi, about what she has and what he does not have... About Jiyong.
"Jiyong... What's wrong?" Yoomi asked.
"Nothing, noona... Just kind of worried about Seungri." He replied, putting his chopsticks down. "I'm going to go check on him."
"Didn't he say he was going to be alright?" Daesung asked, trying to take advantage of Youngbae's converstion with Minji to steal some meat from his plate.
"Yeah, but half the time when he says he's alright, he really isn't."
"How can you tell?" Sandara asked, wondering if Jiyong had some sort of psychic powers.
Jiyong pulled his phone out and dialed Seungri's number, putting the white device against his ear and waiting for the familiar voice. Somehow, he felt anxious and his heart was beating. He could tell Seungri was lying about being unwell and that his attitude was all about Yoomi and Jiyong's relationship... Jiyong forgot to tell him that he and Yoomi were nothing serious, for now she was barely a distraction. Yes, he was taking taste and pleasure in that new distraction but Jiyong knew Seungri was going to make his girlfriend seem like a problem.
"I can tell because each time I hurt him, no matter how much, he would always say that he's alrig--"
The ringing stopped and instead of the tired greeting Jiyong expected, there was a thundering sound that echoed from the phone and from upstairs.
Everyone jumped in surprise, asking each other where that sound came from and not paying attention to the one person in the room who knew.
Jiyong stared at the white gadget and at the deafening silence that came from it. He felt his whole body shaking, his stomach turning and ready to reject all that was inside it... but mostly, he felt the tears flowing and the white hot pain in his heart that ripped its way to his throat in a loud, horrified scream that sounded a lot like the name of what he realized he had all along and just lost.
Seungri!
Fandom: Big Bang
Genre: Angst, smutfic
Pairing: GRi
Rating: R
Warning: You're going to hate me.
Summary: Her name was Yoomi.
N/A: OH HEY DIRECTOR'S CUT VERSION.
Her name was Yoomi.
She was a university student, majoring in communications at Kyunghee University. She was a part time uljjang model, she had a fit body generous in womanly features, had loads of confidence and ambition, had somewhat of tough independent attitude, a feminine and seductive talking voice and a slightly exotic accent. She knew how to cook, drive, made her own money, could sing, could act, could dance, could speak 7 languages, spent countless hours to help mentally disabled people, gave money to Haitian help charities, had a fine sense of fashion and she was probably perfect so there was no use enumerating all the things she could do.
She and Jiyong had been dating for 3 months already and he only just decided to introduce her to the YG Family.
Seungri did not ever notice the rings that ornamented her left ring finger and Jiyong's, he always thought it was a random piece of fashion that the leader decided to wear often or a pledge to music or something as random as that... But it was a couple ring and Seungri now knew who it tied Jiyong to.
She expressed herself so well, ate with grace and her laughter was contagious. Everyone around the table loved her. She and Chaerin had both traveled around the same places in the world because of their father's job so they had a lot to share, she and Minji had went to the same dance school, she could speak some Tagalog to Sandara, gave tips for an amazing diet to Bom, she used to rap in her youth and admire Biggie Smalls like Seunghyun, she knew trot and good jokes like Daesung, was a singer at her Christian church which impressed Youngbae a lot.
She could do it all. Seungri could understand why Jiyong chose her. She was amazing, even he could not deny it. Even YG approved of her and welcomed her into the family, telling Jiyong to not let go of such a pearl so he could marry her after military service. Seungri stayed silent. She was out of his league. YG liked her, he did not like him; there was no way he could compete with that at all.
"Seungri-sshi? Aren't you hungry?"
He looked up at her. She had the face of an angel and yet, he was able to hate it. He voices was soft, sweet and sincere and yet it made him cringe. She was beautiful and brilliant and had a great future ahead of her but Seungri just wished her the worse and he felt like an idiot for that. Not because she took the spot he wanted to have that she was horrible, he had to get used to her and maybe get to like her like everyone else did.
"I'm not hungry, Yoomi-sshi. My stomach hurts." He lied, looking down at the plate.
"Oh come on, Seungri. She took the time to dish us something, you should at least try it. It's really good." Daesung said between two mouthfuls of food.
"Babo, don't talk with your mouth full in front of my girlfriend. She's gonna run away." Jiyong joked and put an arm around her delicate shoulders, pressing a kiss on the side of her head.
So, she made it. That was just another reason to not eat this... and the public displays of attention were just making him even sicker.
"Excuse me." Seungri said and got up, "I'll go lay down."
"I could make you some tea. It's really good for the stoma--"
"No thanks." Seungri interrupted Yoomi's offer dryly, "I mean... No thank you. I will be alright. Please excuse me."
He left the table and headed back to Big Bang's dormitory to go sit on his bed and think.
He really lost everything to this woman.
Everything he had with Jiyong just burned to ashes and left with the wind. There was nothing left, now there was only Yoomi and her utter perfection. He could not change himself and become what she is. He knew he could not but right now, it was his dearest wish. He wanted to be her. He wanted to leave the imperfect Seungri and become as complete and accomplished as she was. Anyone not falling in love with Yoomi would be an idiot and he was the bigger one because he hated her and did not want anything to do with her. If Jiyong wanted to marry her, he would not attend the wedding at all. He did not need to feel the rejection grow ten times stronger.
Tears of frustration and sadness rolled down his cheeks. He felt beaten. It was time to give up, say goodbye and start over like Jiyong once said. He did not want to let go but that was probably what was better for him. He could not keep hurting himself like this, it was unhealthy. He dried his tears on his sleeve and got up. He checked into the mirror to see if his tears were not too obvious before heading to the door and opening it, getting himself ready to meet the face of his defeat again.
Seungri decided to get back on the staircase with the idea that he would just go back downstairs, talk about some American music with Yoomi and pretend everything was alright but his feet decided otherwise... He went upstairs instead, where the producers lived. The fun thing about those guys was that even if they were in America, they did not lock their dormitory room doors. They probably did not because they knew everyone feared those tough-looking guys' reaction to an intrusion. Seungri was used to getting scolded, what would it do if he entered Teddy's place?
Another funny thing about being in an agency where everyone were supposed to be gangsters was that the posing sometime came with accessories. Like the gun in Teddy's desk's second drawer that he showed off to Kush and Jiyong once when Seungri was cleaning the dishes not too far from their smoking circle.
He pulled it out of the drawer, looking at it and pointing at random things like he was an elite shooter from a video game or a movie... He saw Yoomi's image like shadows and pretended to shoot them all. Though he knew, she was not really here since it was all in his head.
All in his head. That was where the real problem was, was it not?
The end of the barrel was cold against his temple but somehow comforting enough for him to close his eyes and think. Think about Yoomi, about what she has and what he does not have... About Jiyong.
"Jiyong... What's wrong?" Yoomi asked.
"Nothing, noona... Just kind of worried about Seungri." He replied, putting his chopsticks down. "I'm going to go check on him."
"Didn't he say he was going to be alright?" Daesung asked, trying to take advantage of Youngbae's converstion with Minji to steal some meat from his plate.
"Yeah, but half the time when he says he's alright, he really isn't."
"How can you tell?" Sandara asked, wondering if Jiyong had some sort of psychic powers.
Jiyong pulled his phone out and dialed Seungri's number, putting the white device against his ear and waiting for the familiar voice. Somehow, he felt anxious and his heart was beating. He could tell Seungri was lying about being unwell and that his attitude was all about Yoomi and Jiyong's relationship... Jiyong forgot to tell him that he and Yoomi were nothing serious, for now she was barely a distraction. Yes, he was taking taste and pleasure in that new distraction but Jiyong knew Seungri was going to make his girlfriend seem like a problem.
"I can tell because each time I hurt him, no matter how much, he would always say that he's alrig--"
The ringing stopped and instead of the tired greeting Jiyong expected, there was a thundering sound that echoed from the phone and from upstairs.
Everyone jumped in surprise, asking each other where that sound came from and not paying attention to the one person in the room who knew.
Jiyong stared at the white gadget and at the deafening silence that came from it. He felt his whole body shaking, his stomach turning and ready to reject all that was inside it... but mostly, he felt the tears flowing and the white hot pain in his heart that ripped its way to his throat in a loud, horrified scream that sounded a lot like the name of what he realized he had all along and just lost.
Seungri!