A Painful Email
I got the email below from my dad this morning.
Here is the latest plan for GR [Grandma Rose]. She had her 6 month re-visit today with the Office on Aging. Thanks to Uncle [X] for the Steeler tickets, we will be switching her respite night from Thursday to Sunday so we can go to the Steelers / Browns game. They are trying to get us the entire day (10-6) so we can tailgate with John and the office group before the game and not have to hurry home after.
As for Oct 2nd, 3rd and 4th, (my drill weekend) they are trying to get us a weekend respite so [Mom] can come to the base. This will be Friday late afternoon to Sunday afternoon and if mom does OK with those couple of days, they will work on extending it for a few more. We will try to get her into [a local nursing home] as [two of GR's friends] reside there. That should make the transition easier and keep her mind off leaving home. After that, we will play it by ear to see when and if we will put her name on the list for good. Her blood work from last week came back and it shows she is healthy as a horse……………………. We should all wish ours would read that good. That being said, how is she dropping weight so fast? 13 pounds in 6 months is not good. We have been giving her Ensure to help boost her calorie intake but we found out that strawberry gives her a stomach ache and diarrhea…………………..fun, fun, fun. No more strawberry.
Everyone we speak to that has done this with a parent tells us it is easier on the parent than the kids. I can tell you all that from our stand point that is spot on. We continue to doubt ourselves and our plan. Is she really that bad? Maybe this is just a short term thing and she will be OK. We can do this, she can stay here. Then the bad days come and being that patience and [my dad] are not usually used in the same sentence, you know the rest. It is also playing hell with [my mom] to see [GR] going downhill right in front of her after doing everything humanly possible to stop it. What is the right answer? What is the best answer? We have made our plan and will run with it. Thanks to all for your support. It means a lot to us.
I can't imagine how painful this must be for them. My understanding is that the weekend respite will be at the nursing home. The friends in question who live there already are both perfectly well mentally but becoming frail physically. They'll be able to help ease Gram into things. But Gram has become so much more difficult to handle in the past 6-8 months that it's very very sad. She's not difficult or violent or argumentative, but she's just so forgetful and so out of it, and her control over bodily functions and hygiene is deteriorating significantly. She has to be monitored all the time. If you try to park her in front of the TV for a few minutes while you, e.g., go downstairs to get some laundry going, you are most likely to find her in the bathroom when you come up. This is going to be tough on my parents in the short run, but Dad's right: Mom can't keep this up much longer, and neither can he.
I just feel sorry for the poor dog, who will not understand what is happening and where Grandma went.
Here is the latest plan for GR [Grandma Rose]. She had her 6 month re-visit today with the Office on Aging. Thanks to Uncle [X] for the Steeler tickets, we will be switching her respite night from Thursday to Sunday so we can go to the Steelers / Browns game. They are trying to get us the entire day (10-6) so we can tailgate with John and the office group before the game and not have to hurry home after.
As for Oct 2nd, 3rd and 4th, (my drill weekend) they are trying to get us a weekend respite so [Mom] can come to the base. This will be Friday late afternoon to Sunday afternoon and if mom does OK with those couple of days, they will work on extending it for a few more. We will try to get her into [a local nursing home] as [two of GR's friends] reside there. That should make the transition easier and keep her mind off leaving home. After that, we will play it by ear to see when and if we will put her name on the list for good. Her blood work from last week came back and it shows she is healthy as a horse……………………. We should all wish ours would read that good. That being said, how is she dropping weight so fast? 13 pounds in 6 months is not good. We have been giving her Ensure to help boost her calorie intake but we found out that strawberry gives her a stomach ache and diarrhea…………………..fun, fun, fun. No more strawberry.
Everyone we speak to that has done this with a parent tells us it is easier on the parent than the kids. I can tell you all that from our stand point that is spot on. We continue to doubt ourselves and our plan. Is she really that bad? Maybe this is just a short term thing and she will be OK. We can do this, she can stay here. Then the bad days come and being that patience and [my dad] are not usually used in the same sentence, you know the rest. It is also playing hell with [my mom] to see [GR] going downhill right in front of her after doing everything humanly possible to stop it. What is the right answer? What is the best answer? We have made our plan and will run with it. Thanks to all for your support. It means a lot to us.
I can't imagine how painful this must be for them. My understanding is that the weekend respite will be at the nursing home. The friends in question who live there already are both perfectly well mentally but becoming frail physically. They'll be able to help ease Gram into things. But Gram has become so much more difficult to handle in the past 6-8 months that it's very very sad. She's not difficult or violent or argumentative, but she's just so forgetful and so out of it, and her control over bodily functions and hygiene is deteriorating significantly. She has to be monitored all the time. If you try to park her in front of the TV for a few minutes while you, e.g., go downstairs to get some laundry going, you are most likely to find her in the bathroom when you come up. This is going to be tough on my parents in the short run, but Dad's right: Mom can't keep this up much longer, and neither can he.
I just feel sorry for the poor dog, who will not understand what is happening and where Grandma went.