( Read more... )

  Particularly sad Roadkill and Rubbish Patrol along my strip of the road for me this morning, and I'm not even really sure why it should be the case, because seeing anything hit on the road saddens me. I've been trying hard to get up at first light before there's much traffic and before any daytime scavengers get hit, among other reasons, and I ( Read more... )

Sorry, folks, I'm still neglecting you, and I've been unwell. I'll be blunt, for clarity, though it really does sound so... blunt, and feels ... worse. I had another episode, the other day, can't remember when and I'm not going to try and work it out now, and I don't remember much, nor, now, what set me off, or anything. I did, as it turned out, ( Read more... )

Just stand there and look wholly inappropriate and anomalous then, Tennny, that's me all over anyway ( Read more... )

*sigh*.

Okay, yes, I know; utterly crass of me to reduce and insert such a hideous and damaging issue as abuse amidst my usual stupid retreat into the Fictional; but it seems that was how I coped in the first place, that is what I did then, since, and still do now, and it's how I escape reality until I can find ways to understand and approach it. Or not. ( Read more... )

The long-long-long-dreaded gastroscopy's uncovered bleeding and scarring and such, which explains a lot of things. The concept of self-abuse and abuse by others has been independently posed and evidenced. The whole thing sent me spectacularly mental, so why should I be surprised I'm in a screwed up mess about this part of it as well?

I'm somehow ( Read more... )

Fuck's sake, Marty, you're going to keep slinging shots at me with YOUTUBE?? Seriously?? This shit's for real, you prick. There is no WAY I've less credibility than you; I WROTE you, you twisted little fuck, I utilise YOU. Get that through your fucking head.

Here's one for you, you infantile bastard. Fuck the melodrama, listen to the words, arsehole ( Read more... )

   Last mid-August was twenty-one years since we first met, and she became my tenant. Mid-November since we first- well, you know, did some practical house warming -first time for both of us-, and started living together.

Today's a year since she moved out.

One of our favourite shows, Silent Witness. I've had great difficulty getting myself to ( Read more... )

   Thanks for hanging in there. The good news is there's lots of room for me to improve, yeah? I could look at it that way.

Bloody head-stuff. And you know it's absurd, and it's still successful. Every time I come in here -or try to- and LJ's on the blink I actually feel it's my fault. Still. And somehow the mantra to counter this only reinforces ( Read more... )