Untitled story - Chapter 1

[drewsome83]

First of all, I want to give a big thankyou to everyone who commented on and said such nice things about the prologue of my story. You can't imagine the nerves I experienced hitting that post button

Comments

[drewsome83]

Opps, dammit. Never read/seen them so had no idea. Oh well, looks like there is a name change coming. This is one of the reasons I posting this, feedback :)

[sextangles]

Is this detective to be a prominent character in the story? I only ask because I remember from the little synopsis you posted last week that there was a different character mentioned. I would've thought we would meet him in chapter one, unless you've changed it?
It's not necessarily a bad thing, just an interesting way you've chosen to structure it.
I liked it though, you definitely have a confident tone. :)

[twinner]

I enjoyed this first chapter. This was on television here in the states a year or more ago:

[beauty_forashes]

Wow, I'm really enjoying this a lot, and that's saying something since I normally have a hard time with reading fiction. I'm already liking the characters, and the fact that there's not much background on them yet really shows you're great at characterization (something I'm a little envious of as a writer, I admit. lol). A few spelling, grammar and punctuation mishaps, but we all have those and a good, tight edit will really make this shine. :)