fic: Room Service
Title: Room Service
Author: dria1029
Pairings: Jongho
Genre: Humor
Warnings: Lang, nudity, fangirlspazzing
Rating: I wanna say PG-13 for the first part. But def R at the end.
Summary: Jonghyun and Minho have a little too much fun with fan service
Word Count: 4,000+
a/n: Not something you’re probably used to reading. And I hope you guys can find the humor in this lol I know the beginning is like “eh what” but I promise it will make sense as you read. Besides there’s a straightforward, little treat at the end so :p.
They were tired, hungry, cold and the very last of the giant hoard of fan girls who’d practically been camped out under the loom of the skyscraper. The same hotel Shinee had been ushered in after the concert that afternoon; earlier it had been so packed, the thirsty little followers took up the entire width of the street in a screaming, sign-shaking scramble. Even the brave policemen who came out to establish order were bullied (and trampled, with half assed apologies) by the savage lot.
Now, it was just them three. Still huddled on the sidewalk and calling up every now and then. Hoping, now below a black, silver dusted sky, to glimpse a wave or a leg-have a dirty, sweat covered hotel towel tossed at them, if by a miracle.
“Its no use guys. They’re a no show.” The first girl, a petite teenager with a thick blue scarf, sighed out a white cloud. “They’re probably really tired.”
“How do we even know that’s their room anyway?” the second girl mumbled, thick fringe of false lashes layered with snowflakes. She pouted as she stared up.
“It has to be. Did you hear how everybody screamed when a head popped out the curtains? No mistake that it was Taemin’s.” The third, the youngest, folded her arms tighter. Dry lips still held a twitch of optimism. She believed her oppas would show up eventually.
“Hmph.”
But we don’t know that for sure,” the second disagreed. “Could have been someone else. The lights are on, yeah, but it’s still too high to tell.”
“And the shadows are hard to decipher. I know Onew’s body like the back of my hand but even I can’t tell just from a passing shadow.” She sighed again, blowing her lips. Then in a lower voice: “That’s like, light years away.”
“…You guys suck. We haven’t even been out here for that long!”
“Then I guess four hours and a stomach with a food complex isn’t a big deal.”
“Don’t forget the wonderful frostbite.” The second girl turned to stare longingly across the street at a café. “Let’s just go get some coffee and go home. We tried.”
“It’s still early!”
“Yah! Its almost 12!”
“That’s early.”
“You really don’t know my mother…”
“I don’t know your damn dad either!”
“I think I want a double mocha latte. With the cinnamon sprinkled whip cream….”
“Because that was mature.” The first girl rolled her eyes.
“I wonder if they can make Key’s face in the foam. Hmm…”
“Well I can’t help it! You’re being so difficult. This is Shinee we’re talking about! Only about…..okay I don’t exactly how many meters it is from here to the 14th floor, but I know it isn’t that far! We can still wait a bit more, God! I don’t know about you but I’d like to make the most of this before-
“Oh my God, Yuki look!”
The second girl lusting after the coffee shop whirled around. With Yuki and the first girl, she peered up, straining her eyes, to see what was going on the floor Shinee was allegedly on.
Someone had been forcibly shoved out onto the balcony. Stumbling a bit. The silhouette that had followed-presumably the pusher- calmly approached the other. As the first guy (the anatomy spoke for itself) braced himself against the balcony wall, the other seemed to be talking to him. His hand gestures weren’t every expressive…but the way he appeared to the touch and caress the other was, to say, awfully intriguing.
“Who are they?”
“The one who’s backed on the ledge looks like Jonghyun!” the youngest squealed in glee, bringing her mittens to her mouth. “Has to be! I can tell by the hair!”
“But the other guy…”
“That’s so strange. Because if that’s Jonghyun, why is the other guy…all on him like that?”
“Do you think it’s one of the other members?”
“Who else would it be?” The youngest huffed in frustration, propping herself on her tippy toes to see better. Of course, to no avail.
“But why would one of them be pushing Jonghyun out onto the balcony?” The first girl’s eyes were wide open. “Oh God, you guys don’t think-
“Someone snuck into their room!” the second cried out, bringing her gloved hands to her red cheeks in horror. The other two spun to her. “Some crazy stalker guy! He found his way into our oppas’ room and he’s going to hurt them!”
They really began to panic then, even the little one. Practically running around in circles like psychopathic ninnies. The people passing by merely side eyed them and stepped out of their way, lest they were bumped into the street or got their toes stomped on. Stupid teenage girls and their random bouts of freaking out.
“Ewww! That is so weird!”
“How did he get in there?!”
“He’s going to throw Jjongie off the balcony!”
“We should go for help! Ugh, why did those dumb police have to go and get themselves stampeded?”
“Poor oppas! They are in so much danger!”
“Where are the manager-hyungs?!”
“Maybe the guy threatened him too! Oh, oh oh! Maybe he’s going to rob them or hold them hostage!
A collective gasp of terror.
“Yuki how much do you have on you?! If he’s holding them for ransom we can put our monies together and save them! Quick, look in your bag!”
“You idiot we don’t have that kind of money!”
“Then should we rob someone?!” The first girl was pacing back and forth, wildly eyeing every pocketbook that passed. But a swift whack went upside her head, courtesy of the small one.
“No you idiot! Then we wouldn’t be any better than the crazy guy!”
“Well then what should we do!? Should we run in there and tell the receptionist? The hotel manager?!”
“We should? Oh man, but they don’t have guns! The guy might be, like, a super spy! He could probably take the entire staff out without a gun-and bind our oppas with their own shoelaces or something!”
Another powerful whack. “Don’t put that out into the universe! Are you dumb?” she hissed.
She whacked her back. “Yah! I’m just being realistic here! Keep your hands to yourself!”
“”Well one: oppas weren’t even wearing sneakers today. And most importantly-while we’re out here bickering amongst ourselves that crazy guy could be In there doing horrible things to oppas! We gotta act fast!”
“Yeah! Or he might be making them do horrible things!”
The other two half frowned, half stared in shocked confusion at the middle girl. She shrunk into her turtleneck. “Just saying though. Things,” she muttered.
But before they could continue birthing cows, Blue Scarf, who was still assessing the silhouette pair in the midst of their indecisive crisis suddenly grabbed ahold of Yuki’s shoulder with a vice grip and began to shake her violently. “Guys look! Look look look! What is the guy doing to Jjongie!?”
They peered up again in alarm. The taller silhouette has seized the Jonghyun figurine and spun him around, forcing him to bend over by grabbing the back of his head. The other hand was fumbling down between them, yet the girls couldn’t make out any detail. The two were so freakin high, dammit!
“Mother of Mary, he’s trying to throw Jonghyun off!” the youngest screamed.
“Noooooo!”
“Oppa fight back! Jonghyun-oppa!”
As all of them yelled up, their hands cupping their mouths, a man in the coffee shop elbowed his friend and pointed out the window; as people walked in and out of the shop, he could hear their cries over the traffic and hustle of Seoul. The friend followed his partner’s finger, watched for a little while then turned back to the other man tiredly.
“But we’re off duty hyung.”
“Pfft. You make it sound like we’re firemen or something,” He rummaged through his pocket and found a small pad and pin. Smirked up knowingly at his friend as he pulled the objects out in satisfaction. “But just like a fireman, a reporter’s job is never really over. Even when he’s clocked out for the day.”
The younger sighed, idly stirring his coffee. Under his breath: “Here he goes again.”
Meanwhile, back outside, the girls were still calling out. Drawing a small crowd around them, a group of people who had absolutely no idea that idols were the cause of this chaos, as everybody who attended the concert earlier-and stalked the quintet to the hotel- had long gone. Now it was just late night stragglers. Adults who didn’t have anything better to do, and, perhaps, hadn’t the foggiest as to what the young night would steer them.
Aside from this corner. With three girls screaming up at what looked like nothing.
But really, what was this all about? Were these girls just whole grain and nuts? Or did they really see someone up on one of the balconies? Seriously, they would have to have super vision to see some so tiny up on…whatever high level the person or people were.
Trying to question them, however, proved unfruitful. The deranged three only waved them off, completely ignored them or oh so politely requested-“Get lost will you? Can’t you see we’re in the middle of a serious situation here?! God, of all the insensitive assholes!”
Yeah. Probably just nuts.
“Jonghyun-oppa!” Blue Scarf belted, hopping up and down. “Oppaaaaa!”
“Oh my God! Oh my God look at how hard he’s pushing against Jonghyun! He’s so determined to push him over!”
“I know! What a weirdo freak! He’s even forcing oppa’s head down to make him see how high they are! What if oppa is acrophobic?!”
“Huh?!”
“Scared of heights you idiot! Oh God, what’s going to happen?” Yuki smeared a few warm droplets from her eyes,
“Sick bastard! Get off of him!”
“Where are the other oppas?? Did he-OH MY GOD WHAT DID HE DO TO THEM?”
“Yah! D-don’t ask something like that!”
“MY OPPAS ARE DEAD! HE JUST SAVED JONGHYUN FOR LAST!”
“Yah! Calm down!-
“FOR LASSSSST!”
“Maybe they ran for help! Maybe they escaped!”
“I hope so!-Guys no! Now he’s…wait…why is he only trying to push him off…why is he trying to push him off so oddly?”
“…I see what you mean. Its like…Jonghyun-oppa is jerking. Oh, maybe oppa is holding his ground! Maybe he’s making it hard for the crazy dude to flip him off!
“But he’s jerking so-so-so roughly! Like he won’t be able to hold his ground for it much longer! The crazy guy must be really strong, way stronger than oppa!” Coffee Girl stamped her small foot and balled her fists to her side.
“I can barely sand to watch!” Blue Scarf sobbed, peeking up through the cracks of her fingers.
“Our poor, brave oppa,” Yuki hiccupped.
Teary, glossy eyes kept up with every move they could see from so far down. A few times the Jonghyun-silhouette turned his head back to his attacker. (“He’s probably yelling at him! Or begging for mercy! Ohhhh I hope he’s telling him off though! That bastard is going to pay! Tell him, oppa! Tell him he’ll be sorry for this!...well if you survive-which you will!”) But it was beguiling, how the psycho Shinee criminal was so…unconventional in his effort to throw Jonghyun over. Didn’t people usually use their arms to do most of the work? Sure, it took a bit of strength from the rest of your body to get the job done…but just doing it with your hips? What the hell was up with that?
“What a sick jerk! Probably hurting poor oppa’s scalp with the all that tugging! Not to mention torturing poor oppa with prolonging his demise!”
Coffee Girl gasped toward her. “He’s not going to die!”
“I’m just saying!”
“You’ve said enough!”
“We should run in there and try to save him guys!” Yuki suddenly confided in a high squeak. “If we rush in there with a sneak attack, he might be too surprised to fight back. Then one of us can help oppa back inside! And save the others!”
“But what if his reflexes are impeccable! What was that about him being spy…?”
“Yeah Yuki! Besides, we might make the situation worse! He could throw Jonghyun off as soon as he sees us, then get us before he have a chance to help the other oppas or escape! He might even hurt them too-in that they’re not already hurt! All in a blink of an eye!”
“Ohh man, what to do, what to do? This is not going to end well for our poor, poor oppas!”
“Taeminnie must be so scared. Our baby Taeminnie…”
But in that short moment of loaded silence, they heard it. Faint as it was…
“Did you guys hear that!?” Blue Scarf grabbed Coffee Girl’s shoulder this time. Pretty much about to dislocate it as she jumped up in down.
“Jonghyun-oppa screamed something!”
“What did he say?!”
“Shut up! Shut up! He’s still calling out!”
They quieted down again, acute ears like frozen satellites for their dinosaur oppa’s beautiful, distressed voice.
Then a chorus of deafening screeches.
“He’s screaming Minho-oppa’s name! Oh my God!”
“Are you sure?!”
“That’s what it sounds like!-shhh, there it goes again! It was louder!”
“Oh poor oppa,” Blue Scarf trembled, her nails digging through the other’s girl’s thick jacket. “He’s calling Minho-oppa for help. He’s so scared!”
“Jonghyun-oppa, Minho-oppa isn’t down here!”
“He’s so frightened, he’s losing his mind!”
“Minho-oppa is in trouble too oppa! He can’t comfort you like he wants!”
“Yeah!” Yuki screamed up into the heavens. “Minho-oppa is probably getting you help, don’t worry!”
“Jonghyun look behind you and see if Minho-oppa got to escape! Check, oppa, check!”
Silent, anxious seconds ticked by, the time going on to one in the morning. All the while, Jonghyun’s animalistic cries for Minho carrying out into the frosty air. How is it that they could hear but everyone else’s stupid asses couldn’t?!
“He’s listening to you!” Blue Scarf hollered to Coffee Girl. More blood pooled to her face from further excitement. In fact, all of them were feeling it: Their appetites suppressed with dread, their cold bodies warmed with pumping anxiety, and their fatigue replaced with adrenaline. Pretty much how they were at the concert hours ago. Sans the dread of course. “He’s listening to you! He keeps looking back!”
“But it looks like he’s only looking at the crazy guy! He’s really about to bump him over. He’s going faster and faster!” Coffee Girl pulled her bottom lip, exposing her gums.
“Oh Minho-oppa, can’t you hear him!?”
“It’s not like he could do anything if he could! Idiot!” Blue Scarf jumped a mile under Yuki’s raised hand.
“How romantic,” Coffee Girl sighed out of the blue, locking her hands with googly eyes.
“Yah!” Yuki turned on her with the same raised hand; she flinched herself right off the sidewalk. “Now is not the time to be gushing over your otp!”
“Second otp!”
“Grrrr-
“Listen! Guys, it’s so loud! It doesn’t even sound like ‘Minho’ anymore. Just whining and…I don’t even know! Omo, so disturbing!”
Indeed, it was a sight of sin. They were just tiny, tight-knit black dots of rapid movement against the golden glowing curtains behind them, yet the girls viewed the “crime” as if they were sitting right there. Absorbing every horrible quake of Jonghyun’s body. Helpless, crying Jonghyun.
“That guy must put a lot of emphasis on working out his lower body! His hips are so strong!” Yuki’s bottom lip poked out. She wouldn’t openly admit it, but she kinda found it rather impressive.
“Stupid, cocky, asshole! He’d rather humiliate oppa like that than just picking him up and tossing him over. Ughhhh either way it’s awful!”
They quieted again; speechless now as they fiddled with their hands. Flailing around and smacking each other and carefully as the attacker’s pushing grew less erratic and more drawn out. Barely hearing Jonghyun now, but ears still attuned to any and every precious sound.
Finally, to their utter shock, the hip-shoving stopped. The crazy stranger let go of Jonghyun’s hair and gently stepped back, adjusting himself for some reason. He appeared to say something else to Jonghyun…then casually walked back into the room. Jonghyun stared after him for a minute before sliding back up. He too adjusted himself for an unknown reason, smoothed his hair back in some kind of attempt at composure, and then trekked back inside as well with a touch of a limp.
Ten minutes later, the lights cut off.
Yuki blinked.
“….What.”
“B-but…!”
“Uh, why is oppa letting him go like that?”
“Jonghyun-oppa what are you doing?” Blue Scarf sputtered eyes about to pop out her skull. She shook her fists. “Whyyyy oppaaaa!?”
“Was this a joke? Aish, really, if it was…”
“…..What.”
The trio stood there in the whirling snow for a while, deliberating on whether or not they should double check and see if everything was okay….but ended up in a iron silence again, staring up at the room…which was hard to find now, seeing as it was as dark as the others.
“But where are the other oppas? Do they even know what happened?”
“Yeah, shouldn’t they know Jonghyun was in danger?”
“I have a feeling there was no danger at all.” Coffee girl sighed. “In fact, I say we leave. My mom is going to lay eggs if I don’t come back now, and its already late.
“I don’t know…” Blue Scarf still peered up, her boots shuffling on the sidewalk. “What if Jonghyun is hurt anyway? And that guy…
“Maybe it was a manager? Playing too rough…?” But even as she said it, Yuki was unconvinced.
“He’d never do something like that. He’d be fired for sure…”
“It probably wasn’t even Jonghyun…”
“He was yelling for Minho!”
“We could have misheard, you know. They’re really up there.”
“Yeah. We were freaking out badly. Could have been some other guys fooling around…”
“To be honest, if that was Jonghyun oppa, and he really was about to be hurt, we would have taken so long talking and crap. He probably wouldn’t have made it….we suck.”
The sound of traffic
“So…”
Silence again. The lights didn’t come back on, it was 1:34am, and they were starting to look really suspicious and out of place on a Sunday night out in downtown Seoul.
“Aish, whatever! Let’s go.”
And with that, they trolled off arm in arm like the besties they were. “My cousin just hooked me up with this really neat site, guys!” Yuki exclaimed brightly as they went along, as if the whole incident were erased from her mind. Attention span of a flea, you know, these kinds of fan girls. “She said it has stuff like ‘smut’ and ‘yaoi’ on it. Shinee stuff. You guys ever heard of it?”
“Nah, never. What’s it about?”
“Sounds exciting! Especially since it has to do with our oppas!”
“Well, you see, its…”
As they rounded the corner, the reporter and his partner rushed over to the spot the girls had been….and groaned. The older cursed when he threw his pad and pen down whilst his partner just shook his head and sighed down at his donut.
Under his coffee breath: “I told you, hyung.”
*****
In the hotel room
“Looks like hyung and Key are going to have to pay up,” Minho sneered with the toothpick between his teeth, propped up against the headboard in nothing but boxers and the shine of victory-oh, and fresh man sex.
Jonghyun only glowered at him from that bathroom. He combed through his wet hair faster, in violent strokes. Mumbling.
“Ah? What was that?”
“I said that I’m a fucking moron for letting you talk me into this. And that you’re a fucking jackass for scaring me like that. What the fuck Minho, just what the fuck is all I have to say.”
“Scaring you?”
“Almost fucking me straight over the balcony! You know you heard me yelling for you to take it easy!”
“Oh. That.” He chuckled darkly, smirk deepening and quirking the toothpick. “Well, it isn’t my fault the wind was so strong up there, hyung. I could barely hear myself think…about fucking you like that on stage, that is.”
He received a snort in response.
“But we have to start somewhere right?”
“I’m done with this conversation.”
“Broader audience. Cameras, so there will be no shortage of reviewing our little show when we feel like rubbing one out. Or each-
“I don’t care.”
“And even though they didn’t realize what they were seeing-talking about the fans on the sidewalk-, look at it like this: If the balcony wall were made of bars instead, you would have given them quite a souvenir. Snow in a whole different kind of state. That’s warm. A bit too messy to catch on with tongue-
“You have a lot to say, for someone who’s talking to himself,” Jonghyun piped, tossing him a frown. “We could have gotten into so much fucking trouble for that, and all you can think about is my cum dropping from fourteen stories onto unsuspecting girls? Who support us? Really?”
“I doubt they’d have complaints.”
“Motherfucker that’s like a fucking pigeon taking a shit on your head. Its fucked up.”
“Perversion is in your heart,” Minho mocked in light, Elmo-like voice.
The older only rolled his eyes, cursing through his teeth when the towel around his wet waist untied and fluttered down. Minho licked his lips. Hand reached down automatically to massage his clothed cock as he spoke again.
“Stop looking at me.”
“Close the door.”
“I’m not squatting to get it, if that’s what you were expecting.”
Minho smiled lazily. “As long as it was your cum, hyung. As long as it was yours.”
Jonghyun wrinkled his nose as he turned on the faucet, snatching his toothbrush. “Yeah, and about that. How do you really know they didn’t know what we were doing? “
“I just know.”
“Don’t you facetious shit.”
”What? I just know. Trust meeee,” he added in song. He crossed his free arm behind his head, zeroing in on Jonghyun’s firm ass.
“Then I wonder how that’s going to pan out when you explain your ‘proof’ to Jinki and Key.”
“They won’t have shit to say if we’re not front page news. We got away with it; that was our end of the bet. Again, something that’s not my fault. They didn’t make sure we booked a room on a lower floor-and in not doing so, lowering their chance of winning. By the way, you were such an obedient shit tonight, yelling my name like that. Loved it, honestly.”
Jonghyun shook his head as the toothbrush…sensuously moved in and out of his mouth, building up light foam. “You invest your intellect in the stupidest shit. Pity,” was his muffled reply.
“I invest my cock in your stupid ass.” The younger shrugged, gnawing on his toothpick in Jonghyun’s agitated direction with glee.
There was a swift spit into the sink, one that sort of saddened Minho to see; one does not simply spit when he usually swallows.
“You also don’t know if they saw and just chose not to say anything.” The shorter man purposely ignored the sass-just as he purposely faced Minho and bent to pick up his towel. Unfortunately, it elicited an unwanted reaction out of the long limbed motherfucker sprawled on the bed.
“Cute,” he said in his deepest fucking voice. Same voice used to goad Jonghyun’s thick walls to clench down hard on him when he was about to bust.
He ignored it again. “So you’re just going to give the benefit of the doubt”
“Oh God, please.” Minho squeezed his crotch with just a punch of his own irritation. Followed Jonghyun’s naked body with narrowed eyes. “They didn’t see anything. If they did, don’t you think we would’ve been out of this hotel and halfway to…fuck, Mexico by now?”
“Large fan base too.”
“The remote part?”
“…Eh.”
Jonghyun had only tugged up a pair of boxers; totally mirroring Minho’s half naked, douche bag style. To the younger’s utter surprise, he didn’t slide in next to him; no. Instead, he took it upon himself to straddle the other, trapping Minho’s slut hand between his semi-hard cock and Jonghyun’s…
“Funny. I didn’t see that three seconds ago when it was right in my face.”
“I’m a leprechaun, remember? Magic.” He rolled his eyes as he got comfortable, absolutely loving the feel of Minho’s stiffness teasing his sensitive hole through the cotton. “But you know what?”
“Yeah?” Minho’s hands settled on his hips, a sudden look of attractive disgust and anticipation crossing his features. His game face, as he called it.
“I’d like it much better if our balcony play wasn’t ‘staged’. Cause you know, I kinda don’t want to see where this is going.” He winked and ground his hips deeply into the machine under him.
Minho’s groan was supplied with a graffiti-ed smirk. A fat, loud slap to Jonghyun’s ass.
“You have my word.”
Author: dria1029
Pairings: Jongho
Genre: Humor
Warnings: Lang, nudity, fangirlspazzing
Rating: I wanna say PG-13 for the first part. But def R at the end.
Summary: Jonghyun and Minho have a little too much fun with fan service
Word Count: 4,000+
a/n: Not something you’re probably used to reading. And I hope you guys can find the humor in this lol I know the beginning is like “eh what” but I promise it will make sense as you read. Besides there’s a straightforward, little treat at the end so :p.
They were tired, hungry, cold and the very last of the giant hoard of fan girls who’d practically been camped out under the loom of the skyscraper. The same hotel Shinee had been ushered in after the concert that afternoon; earlier it had been so packed, the thirsty little followers took up the entire width of the street in a screaming, sign-shaking scramble. Even the brave policemen who came out to establish order were bullied (and trampled, with half assed apologies) by the savage lot.
Now, it was just them three. Still huddled on the sidewalk and calling up every now and then. Hoping, now below a black, silver dusted sky, to glimpse a wave or a leg-have a dirty, sweat covered hotel towel tossed at them, if by a miracle.
“Its no use guys. They’re a no show.” The first girl, a petite teenager with a thick blue scarf, sighed out a white cloud. “They’re probably really tired.”
“How do we even know that’s their room anyway?” the second girl mumbled, thick fringe of false lashes layered with snowflakes. She pouted as she stared up.
“It has to be. Did you hear how everybody screamed when a head popped out the curtains? No mistake that it was Taemin’s.” The third, the youngest, folded her arms tighter. Dry lips still held a twitch of optimism. She believed her oppas would show up eventually.
“Hmph.”
But we don’t know that for sure,” the second disagreed. “Could have been someone else. The lights are on, yeah, but it’s still too high to tell.”
“And the shadows are hard to decipher. I know Onew’s body like the back of my hand but even I can’t tell just from a passing shadow.” She sighed again, blowing her lips. Then in a lower voice: “That’s like, light years away.”
“…You guys suck. We haven’t even been out here for that long!”
“Then I guess four hours and a stomach with a food complex isn’t a big deal.”
“Don’t forget the wonderful frostbite.” The second girl turned to stare longingly across the street at a café. “Let’s just go get some coffee and go home. We tried.”
“It’s still early!”
“Yah! Its almost 12!”
“That’s early.”
“You really don’t know my mother…”
“I don’t know your damn dad either!”
“I think I want a double mocha latte. With the cinnamon sprinkled whip cream….”
“Because that was mature.” The first girl rolled her eyes.
“I wonder if they can make Key’s face in the foam. Hmm…”
“Well I can’t help it! You’re being so difficult. This is Shinee we’re talking about! Only about…..okay I don’t exactly how many meters it is from here to the 14th floor, but I know it isn’t that far! We can still wait a bit more, God! I don’t know about you but I’d like to make the most of this before-
“Oh my God, Yuki look!”
The second girl lusting after the coffee shop whirled around. With Yuki and the first girl, she peered up, straining her eyes, to see what was going on the floor Shinee was allegedly on.
Someone had been forcibly shoved out onto the balcony. Stumbling a bit. The silhouette that had followed-presumably the pusher- calmly approached the other. As the first guy (the anatomy spoke for itself) braced himself against the balcony wall, the other seemed to be talking to him. His hand gestures weren’t every expressive…but the way he appeared to the touch and caress the other was, to say, awfully intriguing.
“Who are they?”
“The one who’s backed on the ledge looks like Jonghyun!” the youngest squealed in glee, bringing her mittens to her mouth. “Has to be! I can tell by the hair!”
“But the other guy…”
“That’s so strange. Because if that’s Jonghyun, why is the other guy…all on him like that?”
“Do you think it’s one of the other members?”
“Who else would it be?” The youngest huffed in frustration, propping herself on her tippy toes to see better. Of course, to no avail.
“But why would one of them be pushing Jonghyun out onto the balcony?” The first girl’s eyes were wide open. “Oh God, you guys don’t think-
“Someone snuck into their room!” the second cried out, bringing her gloved hands to her red cheeks in horror. The other two spun to her. “Some crazy stalker guy! He found his way into our oppas’ room and he’s going to hurt them!”
They really began to panic then, even the little one. Practically running around in circles like psychopathic ninnies. The people passing by merely side eyed them and stepped out of their way, lest they were bumped into the street or got their toes stomped on. Stupid teenage girls and their random bouts of freaking out.
“Ewww! That is so weird!”
“How did he get in there?!”
“He’s going to throw Jjongie off the balcony!”
“We should go for help! Ugh, why did those dumb police have to go and get themselves stampeded?”
“Poor oppas! They are in so much danger!”
“Where are the manager-hyungs?!”
“Maybe the guy threatened him too! Oh, oh oh! Maybe he’s going to rob them or hold them hostage!
A collective gasp of terror.
“Yuki how much do you have on you?! If he’s holding them for ransom we can put our monies together and save them! Quick, look in your bag!”
“You idiot we don’t have that kind of money!”
“Then should we rob someone?!” The first girl was pacing back and forth, wildly eyeing every pocketbook that passed. But a swift whack went upside her head, courtesy of the small one.
“No you idiot! Then we wouldn’t be any better than the crazy guy!”
“Well then what should we do!? Should we run in there and tell the receptionist? The hotel manager?!”
“We should? Oh man, but they don’t have guns! The guy might be, like, a super spy! He could probably take the entire staff out without a gun-and bind our oppas with their own shoelaces or something!”
Another powerful whack. “Don’t put that out into the universe! Are you dumb?” she hissed.
She whacked her back. “Yah! I’m just being realistic here! Keep your hands to yourself!”
“”Well one: oppas weren’t even wearing sneakers today. And most importantly-while we’re out here bickering amongst ourselves that crazy guy could be In there doing horrible things to oppas! We gotta act fast!”
“Yeah! Or he might be making them do horrible things!”
The other two half frowned, half stared in shocked confusion at the middle girl. She shrunk into her turtleneck. “Just saying though. Things,” she muttered.
But before they could continue birthing cows, Blue Scarf, who was still assessing the silhouette pair in the midst of their indecisive crisis suddenly grabbed ahold of Yuki’s shoulder with a vice grip and began to shake her violently. “Guys look! Look look look! What is the guy doing to Jjongie!?”
They peered up again in alarm. The taller silhouette has seized the Jonghyun figurine and spun him around, forcing him to bend over by grabbing the back of his head. The other hand was fumbling down between them, yet the girls couldn’t make out any detail. The two were so freakin high, dammit!
“Mother of Mary, he’s trying to throw Jonghyun off!” the youngest screamed.
“Noooooo!”
“Oppa fight back! Jonghyun-oppa!”
As all of them yelled up, their hands cupping their mouths, a man in the coffee shop elbowed his friend and pointed out the window; as people walked in and out of the shop, he could hear their cries over the traffic and hustle of Seoul. The friend followed his partner’s finger, watched for a little while then turned back to the other man tiredly.
“But we’re off duty hyung.”
“Pfft. You make it sound like we’re firemen or something,” He rummaged through his pocket and found a small pad and pin. Smirked up knowingly at his friend as he pulled the objects out in satisfaction. “But just like a fireman, a reporter’s job is never really over. Even when he’s clocked out for the day.”
The younger sighed, idly stirring his coffee. Under his breath: “Here he goes again.”
Meanwhile, back outside, the girls were still calling out. Drawing a small crowd around them, a group of people who had absolutely no idea that idols were the cause of this chaos, as everybody who attended the concert earlier-and stalked the quintet to the hotel- had long gone. Now it was just late night stragglers. Adults who didn’t have anything better to do, and, perhaps, hadn’t the foggiest as to what the young night would steer them.
Aside from this corner. With three girls screaming up at what looked like nothing.
But really, what was this all about? Were these girls just whole grain and nuts? Or did they really see someone up on one of the balconies? Seriously, they would have to have super vision to see some so tiny up on…whatever high level the person or people were.
Trying to question them, however, proved unfruitful. The deranged three only waved them off, completely ignored them or oh so politely requested-“Get lost will you? Can’t you see we’re in the middle of a serious situation here?! God, of all the insensitive assholes!”
Yeah. Probably just nuts.
“Jonghyun-oppa!” Blue Scarf belted, hopping up and down. “Oppaaaaa!”
“Oh my God! Oh my God look at how hard he’s pushing against Jonghyun! He’s so determined to push him over!”
“I know! What a weirdo freak! He’s even forcing oppa’s head down to make him see how high they are! What if oppa is acrophobic?!”
“Huh?!”
“Scared of heights you idiot! Oh God, what’s going to happen?” Yuki smeared a few warm droplets from her eyes,
“Sick bastard! Get off of him!”
“Where are the other oppas?? Did he-OH MY GOD WHAT DID HE DO TO THEM?”
“Yah! D-don’t ask something like that!”
“MY OPPAS ARE DEAD! HE JUST SAVED JONGHYUN FOR LAST!”
“Yah! Calm down!-
“FOR LASSSSST!”
“Maybe they ran for help! Maybe they escaped!”
“I hope so!-Guys no! Now he’s…wait…why is he only trying to push him off…why is he trying to push him off so oddly?”
“…I see what you mean. Its like…Jonghyun-oppa is jerking. Oh, maybe oppa is holding his ground! Maybe he’s making it hard for the crazy dude to flip him off!
“But he’s jerking so-so-so roughly! Like he won’t be able to hold his ground for it much longer! The crazy guy must be really strong, way stronger than oppa!” Coffee Girl stamped her small foot and balled her fists to her side.
“I can barely sand to watch!” Blue Scarf sobbed, peeking up through the cracks of her fingers.
“Our poor, brave oppa,” Yuki hiccupped.
Teary, glossy eyes kept up with every move they could see from so far down. A few times the Jonghyun-silhouette turned his head back to his attacker. (“He’s probably yelling at him! Or begging for mercy! Ohhhh I hope he’s telling him off though! That bastard is going to pay! Tell him, oppa! Tell him he’ll be sorry for this!...well if you survive-which you will!”) But it was beguiling, how the psycho Shinee criminal was so…unconventional in his effort to throw Jonghyun over. Didn’t people usually use their arms to do most of the work? Sure, it took a bit of strength from the rest of your body to get the job done…but just doing it with your hips? What the hell was up with that?
“What a sick jerk! Probably hurting poor oppa’s scalp with the all that tugging! Not to mention torturing poor oppa with prolonging his demise!”
Coffee Girl gasped toward her. “He’s not going to die!”
“I’m just saying!”
“You’ve said enough!”
“We should run in there and try to save him guys!” Yuki suddenly confided in a high squeak. “If we rush in there with a sneak attack, he might be too surprised to fight back. Then one of us can help oppa back inside! And save the others!”
“But what if his reflexes are impeccable! What was that about him being spy…?”
“Yeah Yuki! Besides, we might make the situation worse! He could throw Jonghyun off as soon as he sees us, then get us before he have a chance to help the other oppas or escape! He might even hurt them too-in that they’re not already hurt! All in a blink of an eye!”
“Ohh man, what to do, what to do? This is not going to end well for our poor, poor oppas!”
“Taeminnie must be so scared. Our baby Taeminnie…”
But in that short moment of loaded silence, they heard it. Faint as it was…
“Did you guys hear that!?” Blue Scarf grabbed Coffee Girl’s shoulder this time. Pretty much about to dislocate it as she jumped up in down.
“Jonghyun-oppa screamed something!”
“What did he say?!”
“Shut up! Shut up! He’s still calling out!”
They quieted down again, acute ears like frozen satellites for their dinosaur oppa’s beautiful, distressed voice.
Then a chorus of deafening screeches.
“He’s screaming Minho-oppa’s name! Oh my God!”
“Are you sure?!”
“That’s what it sounds like!-shhh, there it goes again! It was louder!”
“Oh poor oppa,” Blue Scarf trembled, her nails digging through the other’s girl’s thick jacket. “He’s calling Minho-oppa for help. He’s so scared!”
“Jonghyun-oppa, Minho-oppa isn’t down here!”
“He’s so frightened, he’s losing his mind!”
“Minho-oppa is in trouble too oppa! He can’t comfort you like he wants!”
“Yeah!” Yuki screamed up into the heavens. “Minho-oppa is probably getting you help, don’t worry!”
“Jonghyun look behind you and see if Minho-oppa got to escape! Check, oppa, check!”
Silent, anxious seconds ticked by, the time going on to one in the morning. All the while, Jonghyun’s animalistic cries for Minho carrying out into the frosty air. How is it that they could hear but everyone else’s stupid asses couldn’t?!
“He’s listening to you!” Blue Scarf hollered to Coffee Girl. More blood pooled to her face from further excitement. In fact, all of them were feeling it: Their appetites suppressed with dread, their cold bodies warmed with pumping anxiety, and their fatigue replaced with adrenaline. Pretty much how they were at the concert hours ago. Sans the dread of course. “He’s listening to you! He keeps looking back!”
“But it looks like he’s only looking at the crazy guy! He’s really about to bump him over. He’s going faster and faster!” Coffee Girl pulled her bottom lip, exposing her gums.
“Oh Minho-oppa, can’t you hear him!?”
“It’s not like he could do anything if he could! Idiot!” Blue Scarf jumped a mile under Yuki’s raised hand.
“How romantic,” Coffee Girl sighed out of the blue, locking her hands with googly eyes.
“Yah!” Yuki turned on her with the same raised hand; she flinched herself right off the sidewalk. “Now is not the time to be gushing over your otp!”
“Second otp!”
“Grrrr-
“Listen! Guys, it’s so loud! It doesn’t even sound like ‘Minho’ anymore. Just whining and…I don’t even know! Omo, so disturbing!”
Indeed, it was a sight of sin. They were just tiny, tight-knit black dots of rapid movement against the golden glowing curtains behind them, yet the girls viewed the “crime” as if they were sitting right there. Absorbing every horrible quake of Jonghyun’s body. Helpless, crying Jonghyun.
“That guy must put a lot of emphasis on working out his lower body! His hips are so strong!” Yuki’s bottom lip poked out. She wouldn’t openly admit it, but she kinda found it rather impressive.
“Stupid, cocky, asshole! He’d rather humiliate oppa like that than just picking him up and tossing him over. Ughhhh either way it’s awful!”
They quieted again; speechless now as they fiddled with their hands. Flailing around and smacking each other and carefully as the attacker’s pushing grew less erratic and more drawn out. Barely hearing Jonghyun now, but ears still attuned to any and every precious sound.
Finally, to their utter shock, the hip-shoving stopped. The crazy stranger let go of Jonghyun’s hair and gently stepped back, adjusting himself for some reason. He appeared to say something else to Jonghyun…then casually walked back into the room. Jonghyun stared after him for a minute before sliding back up. He too adjusted himself for an unknown reason, smoothed his hair back in some kind of attempt at composure, and then trekked back inside as well with a touch of a limp.
Ten minutes later, the lights cut off.
Yuki blinked.
“….What.”
“B-but…!”
“Uh, why is oppa letting him go like that?”
“Jonghyun-oppa what are you doing?” Blue Scarf sputtered eyes about to pop out her skull. She shook her fists. “Whyyyy oppaaaa!?”
“Was this a joke? Aish, really, if it was…”
“…..What.”
The trio stood there in the whirling snow for a while, deliberating on whether or not they should double check and see if everything was okay….but ended up in a iron silence again, staring up at the room…which was hard to find now, seeing as it was as dark as the others.
“But where are the other oppas? Do they even know what happened?”
“Yeah, shouldn’t they know Jonghyun was in danger?”
“I have a feeling there was no danger at all.” Coffee girl sighed. “In fact, I say we leave. My mom is going to lay eggs if I don’t come back now, and its already late.
“I don’t know…” Blue Scarf still peered up, her boots shuffling on the sidewalk. “What if Jonghyun is hurt anyway? And that guy…
“Maybe it was a manager? Playing too rough…?” But even as she said it, Yuki was unconvinced.
“He’d never do something like that. He’d be fired for sure…”
“It probably wasn’t even Jonghyun…”
“He was yelling for Minho!”
“We could have misheard, you know. They’re really up there.”
“Yeah. We were freaking out badly. Could have been some other guys fooling around…”
“To be honest, if that was Jonghyun oppa, and he really was about to be hurt, we would have taken so long talking and crap. He probably wouldn’t have made it….we suck.”
The sound of traffic
“So…”
Silence again. The lights didn’t come back on, it was 1:34am, and they were starting to look really suspicious and out of place on a Sunday night out in downtown Seoul.
“Aish, whatever! Let’s go.”
And with that, they trolled off arm in arm like the besties they were. “My cousin just hooked me up with this really neat site, guys!” Yuki exclaimed brightly as they went along, as if the whole incident were erased from her mind. Attention span of a flea, you know, these kinds of fan girls. “She said it has stuff like ‘smut’ and ‘yaoi’ on it. Shinee stuff. You guys ever heard of it?”
“Nah, never. What’s it about?”
“Sounds exciting! Especially since it has to do with our oppas!”
“Well, you see, its…”
As they rounded the corner, the reporter and his partner rushed over to the spot the girls had been….and groaned. The older cursed when he threw his pad and pen down whilst his partner just shook his head and sighed down at his donut.
Under his coffee breath: “I told you, hyung.”
*****
In the hotel room
“Looks like hyung and Key are going to have to pay up,” Minho sneered with the toothpick between his teeth, propped up against the headboard in nothing but boxers and the shine of victory-oh, and fresh man sex.
Jonghyun only glowered at him from that bathroom. He combed through his wet hair faster, in violent strokes. Mumbling.
“Ah? What was that?”
“I said that I’m a fucking moron for letting you talk me into this. And that you’re a fucking jackass for scaring me like that. What the fuck Minho, just what the fuck is all I have to say.”
“Scaring you?”
“Almost fucking me straight over the balcony! You know you heard me yelling for you to take it easy!”
“Oh. That.” He chuckled darkly, smirk deepening and quirking the toothpick. “Well, it isn’t my fault the wind was so strong up there, hyung. I could barely hear myself think…about fucking you like that on stage, that is.”
He received a snort in response.
“But we have to start somewhere right?”
“I’m done with this conversation.”
“Broader audience. Cameras, so there will be no shortage of reviewing our little show when we feel like rubbing one out. Or each-
“I don’t care.”
“And even though they didn’t realize what they were seeing-talking about the fans on the sidewalk-, look at it like this: If the balcony wall were made of bars instead, you would have given them quite a souvenir. Snow in a whole different kind of state. That’s warm. A bit too messy to catch on with tongue-
“You have a lot to say, for someone who’s talking to himself,” Jonghyun piped, tossing him a frown. “We could have gotten into so much fucking trouble for that, and all you can think about is my cum dropping from fourteen stories onto unsuspecting girls? Who support us? Really?”
“I doubt they’d have complaints.”
“Motherfucker that’s like a fucking pigeon taking a shit on your head. Its fucked up.”
“Perversion is in your heart,” Minho mocked in light, Elmo-like voice.
The older only rolled his eyes, cursing through his teeth when the towel around his wet waist untied and fluttered down. Minho licked his lips. Hand reached down automatically to massage his clothed cock as he spoke again.
“Stop looking at me.”
“Close the door.”
“I’m not squatting to get it, if that’s what you were expecting.”
Minho smiled lazily. “As long as it was your cum, hyung. As long as it was yours.”
Jonghyun wrinkled his nose as he turned on the faucet, snatching his toothbrush. “Yeah, and about that. How do you really know they didn’t know what we were doing? “
“I just know.”
“Don’t you facetious shit.”
”What? I just know. Trust meeee,” he added in song. He crossed his free arm behind his head, zeroing in on Jonghyun’s firm ass.
“Then I wonder how that’s going to pan out when you explain your ‘proof’ to Jinki and Key.”
“They won’t have shit to say if we’re not front page news. We got away with it; that was our end of the bet. Again, something that’s not my fault. They didn’t make sure we booked a room on a lower floor-and in not doing so, lowering their chance of winning. By the way, you were such an obedient shit tonight, yelling my name like that. Loved it, honestly.”
Jonghyun shook his head as the toothbrush…sensuously moved in and out of his mouth, building up light foam. “You invest your intellect in the stupidest shit. Pity,” was his muffled reply.
“I invest my cock in your stupid ass.” The younger shrugged, gnawing on his toothpick in Jonghyun’s agitated direction with glee.
There was a swift spit into the sink, one that sort of saddened Minho to see; one does not simply spit when he usually swallows.
“You also don’t know if they saw and just chose not to say anything.” The shorter man purposely ignored the sass-just as he purposely faced Minho and bent to pick up his towel. Unfortunately, it elicited an unwanted reaction out of the long limbed motherfucker sprawled on the bed.
“Cute,” he said in his deepest fucking voice. Same voice used to goad Jonghyun’s thick walls to clench down hard on him when he was about to bust.
He ignored it again. “So you’re just going to give the benefit of the doubt”
“Oh God, please.” Minho squeezed his crotch with just a punch of his own irritation. Followed Jonghyun’s naked body with narrowed eyes. “They didn’t see anything. If they did, don’t you think we would’ve been out of this hotel and halfway to…fuck, Mexico by now?”
“Large fan base too.”
“The remote part?”
“…Eh.”
Jonghyun had only tugged up a pair of boxers; totally mirroring Minho’s half naked, douche bag style. To the younger’s utter surprise, he didn’t slide in next to him; no. Instead, he took it upon himself to straddle the other, trapping Minho’s slut hand between his semi-hard cock and Jonghyun’s…
“Funny. I didn’t see that three seconds ago when it was right in my face.”
“I’m a leprechaun, remember? Magic.” He rolled his eyes as he got comfortable, absolutely loving the feel of Minho’s stiffness teasing his sensitive hole through the cotton. “But you know what?”
“Yeah?” Minho’s hands settled on his hips, a sudden look of attractive disgust and anticipation crossing his features. His game face, as he called it.
“I’d like it much better if our balcony play wasn’t ‘staged’. Cause you know, I kinda don’t want to see where this is going.” He winked and ground his hips deeply into the machine under him.
Minho’s groan was supplied with a graffiti-ed smirk. A fat, loud slap to Jonghyun’s ass.
“You have my word.”