(no subject)
Title: Return of Tyger, Tyger!
Word Count: 338
Rating: PG?
Pairing: Mentioned SmoAce
Disclaimer/Warnings: Cracky-crack. AND CRACK.
Summary: Sequel to ' Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright', which I must add to memories. 'Tis crack, naturally.
Mr. Fuzzles was a ferocious and terrifying bringer of DEATH.
Four or five times every day, the vicious, psychotic, cuddly monster of flaming cuteness would bring his master a dead rat, and drop it at his feet, waiting for a tummy-scratch as a reward. There weren’t many people who could pet him, seeing as he was constantly on fire, after all.
The ritual would continue; Ace would coo over how clever his wittle Mr. Fuzzle Wuzzles was, and wasn't he a big kitty now, and did he want his tummy-wummy wubbed, and everyone would look at Ace oddly like they weren't sure whether to laugh or be more scared of him.
(After Mr. Fuzzles proudly dragged the Marine he'd just killed over, everyone decided it would be a better idea not to laugh.)
Once the belly-rub was over, the tiger would strut happily off to his usual place - one could always tell where it was, even if he wasn't there, because it was where the planks had been charred black - and have a good sleep.
Sometimes, Ace would curl up with him (often as human, occasionally as fire) and sleep beside him, prompting murmurs of 'Aww!' and 'How cute!' from the nurses, who also received strange looks from the pirates, though not as many. Women were meant to be incomprehensible to men, after all.
It was a fulfilling day for Ace when the poster for Mr. Fuzzles ten-million beri bounty came out, even if they'd called him 'Firefang' which Ace regarded as stupid. How could he bite anyone (which he liked doing, especially if they were wearing Marine uniforms) if his fangs were made of fire? He was just covered in it, not made of it.
Silly Marines.
When he pointed this out to Smoker one day, the man responded by rolling his eyes and screwing the pirate senseless, which confirmed his belief that Marines were illogical, but also made him think he should get another tiger.
Mr. Fuzzles should get some luvin' too, after all.
I'M NOT HIGH, DON'T SAY THAT.
Word Count: 338
Rating: PG?
Pairing: Mentioned SmoAce
Disclaimer/Warnings: Cracky-crack. AND CRACK.
Summary: Sequel to ' Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright', which I must add to memories. 'Tis crack, naturally.
Mr. Fuzzles was a ferocious and terrifying bringer of DEATH.
Four or five times every day, the vicious, psychotic, cuddly monster of flaming cuteness would bring his master a dead rat, and drop it at his feet, waiting for a tummy-scratch as a reward. There weren’t many people who could pet him, seeing as he was constantly on fire, after all.
The ritual would continue; Ace would coo over how clever his wittle Mr. Fuzzle Wuzzles was, and wasn't he a big kitty now, and did he want his tummy-wummy wubbed, and everyone would look at Ace oddly like they weren't sure whether to laugh or be more scared of him.
(After Mr. Fuzzles proudly dragged the Marine he'd just killed over, everyone decided it would be a better idea not to laugh.)
Once the belly-rub was over, the tiger would strut happily off to his usual place - one could always tell where it was, even if he wasn't there, because it was where the planks had been charred black - and have a good sleep.
Sometimes, Ace would curl up with him (often as human, occasionally as fire) and sleep beside him, prompting murmurs of 'Aww!' and 'How cute!' from the nurses, who also received strange looks from the pirates, though not as many. Women were meant to be incomprehensible to men, after all.
It was a fulfilling day for Ace when the poster for Mr. Fuzzles ten-million beri bounty came out, even if they'd called him 'Firefang' which Ace regarded as stupid. How could he bite anyone (which he liked doing, especially if they were wearing Marine uniforms) if his fangs were made of fire? He was just covered in it, not made of it.
Silly Marines.
When he pointed this out to Smoker one day, the man responded by rolling his eyes and screwing the pirate senseless, which confirmed his belief that Marines were illogical, but also made him think he should get another tiger.
Mr. Fuzzles should get some luvin' too, after all.
I'M NOT HIGH, DON'T SAY THAT.