FICTION Titled: "Anger-Free Destiny" for Brigit's Flame Community

[drippedonpaper]

"I'll be there in ten minutes," his words on the phone are clipped and terse

Comments

[drippedonpaper]

Thanks for your very kind comment!:)

[fawatson]

This presents a very clear picture. I found your choice of present tense added interest.

One minor point:

"Mom," my daughter says, "Why do daddies get to decide everything?" her tone is curious but there's a shadow in her eyes.

The punctuation should be: "Mom," my daughter says, "why do daddies get to decide everything?" Her tone is curious but there's a shadow in her eyes.

[keppiehed]

"The tears don't fall...Their beauty mocks their origins..."

What a beautiful line. I think the whole story just gelled for me right there in those words of poetry. The hopelessness of every day life, captured and seen through the eyes of a woman who could be anyone. Very well done, good luck this week.

[drippedonpaper]

I guess it proves there is beauty everyone, even in the depths of despair.

Thanks for your kind encouragement!:)

[drippedonpaper]

I meant, "beauty is everyWHERE"

Sometimes, I can't even spell:P Sorry!

[rephen]

I want to smack the husband really, really hard. AGH. You're so good at pulling these strings! Those lines of his! UGH. What a jerk. He takes her for granted! Poor Misty.

The ending was so abrupt. But powerful. Her inner voice questioning her daughter's future (and destiny) was incredible. I really enjoyed reading this. Even though it makes me want to smack someone. LOL.

[cedarwolfsinger]

Heartbreaking, dear heart. (I so hope that this one is not autobiographical.)

[drippedonpaper]

No worries, it's fiction.

What do you think though? Would ... would it scar a daughter? Would she grow up thinking she deserved the same as her mom?

[cedarwolfsinger]

It could do that. It could also make a daughter think: "I'll never let that happen to me!"

[drippedonpaper]

Sometimes I write things that then give questions to myself, questions I can't answer:)