Kuchisabishii- "Say Their Names"
They were always eating. Or at least, always wanting to. I don't know if it was a side effect of drug use perhaps or just the hunger in their souls.
For almost four years, I taught in two different alternative schools. My students were high school students who had either just been expelled or just gotten out of jail. For whatever reason, the principals felt extreme structure would be good for these students so one rule was "No food or candy in the classrooms." I think part of the reason is that chip bags, etc., could have been used to bring in illegal substances so it helped to just outlaw it all together.
Alternative school students are at this school because they have already broken rules so, not unexpectedly, the "no snacking" rule was also one they treated like a challenge. I hated being "the food police," but one of the points was they needed to learn to follow rules. It's a skill that most of us use in jobs, while driving, etc. A stop sign means stop, even if it's the middle of the night, and no other car in sight.
So these were "the bad kids." However, as the saying goes, "It's hard to hate someone once you know their story." And working with these same kids for four years, I got to know them pretty well. You can't spend every day with someone, year around, without them becoming part of you. They may be the thorn in your side, or the person you always complain about, but they are part of the rhythm of your day.
Many of my students lacked self-control. Like many teens, they lived in the moment, but even more so. Our goal was always to reduce our arrest rate. It wasn't uncommon to have huge fights, even over something as small as another student stealing a piece of their candy. The spring was always the worst. The population of our school fluctuated according to the rate of expulsions and arrests, so went up in the spring as many students "got their last strike" at their old school and were expelled.
It was pretty common to have two to four arrests during school each day. Many of them were due to behavior and fights, but others were due to whatever the students had done previously. The cops learned the best place to pick up a "wanted" kid was to find them at school. We have many "security guards," but also have two cops who dressed in full uniform (handcuffs, etc.) because it was best to already have them on campus for arrests.
The most dangerous times as a teacher were the fights, whether they were in your room or not. We all wore radios to contact security as needed, but used ever changing codes because we did not want the kids to know the "come quick to room ___" code. The times that they realized meant often my students would try to fight as they then knew I could not get security to come. In our meetings, they impressed on us over and over, whatever you do, do NOT let a kid out during a fight. We had about 15 guards on a good day, but if all 200 students joined in a brawl, they could quickly overwhelm security. All students went through metal detectors and were physically frisked every day, but a big one was girls hiding weapons in their hair and/or any student hiding razor blades in their mouths.
Every day was an adventure. Some days were pretty calm. Others ended with me having to give a police statement due to what happened.
I know it sounds like a hostile environment (and it could be), but I truly came to love my students. There were a few who, well, it was very hard to reach, but there are still some I think of.
Seven of them have now died. (Maybe more, I don't know for sure.) Ashia Raquel Oliver died in a fight one weekend. She was murdered. She was a lovely girl, trying to turn her life around: https://www.royalfh.com/obituary/6511192
Mustafa Bearfield was a special education student who was always hungry. He was murdered by a man because he stole the man's lunch. He dropped the lunch box, but the man still shot him in the back as he ran away. The story of his death is here: https://www.al.com/news/huntsville/2018/05/mustafa_bearfield_jonathan_sco.html
The photo of Mustafa was taken in one of our classrooms. He is wearing the white uniform shirt the school required at that time.
Khayree Austin was murdered one night. He was such a card. He always had a shy smile. He had an excuse for everything, but when I'd call him out on it, he would laugh. He'd say, "I just can't put one over on you, Ms. C." Khayree wore his hair high, and was proud of it. We would joke that he did it just to look taller. He would laugh, but never denied that we had guessed his motives. Khayree: https://www.al.com/news/huntsville/2016/07/police_still_following_leads_i.html
Justice Perryman was a twin I taught. Many of my students were huge men, 6 foot 6 inches. Justice was one of them. When I first started teaching, I worried about the larger students, but later learned they were often the calmer ones. The students who were most fiesty tended to be the shorter ones. Maybe they were used to being picked on, so they learned to strike first and run fast.
I don't believe Justice could read very well (which was a fairly common problem.) Justice was trying, but often got discouraged. He became a father as a teen, but committed suicide. https://www.royalfh.com/obituary/6509757
James Townsend actually had the same first name and same birthday as my son. James T. was so determined to do better. He was trying really hard to improve both his grades and his behavior. He would say, "I'm going to graduate, I promise, Ms. C." This is James' story, or the ending of it anyways: https://www.al.com/news/huntsville/2018/04/taco_bell_shooting_murder.html
I admit, I can't pass that Taco Bell without thinking of James T. He had a sweet spirit, a shy grin. He had a crush on one of my female students and would ask me for advice on how to get her to like him. I really thought he would make it out of that life, out of the path he was on. I guess he made it out. I just had hoped he would get a chance to grow up.
Brandon Thornton, oh gosh, Brandon, I had high hopes for him. With Brandon, I hate to say that I taught both him and the student who murdered him. T., the murderer, did have a bad temper. I used to see him on a street near mine, wearing a backpack. The rumors were that he was dealing drugs. He got into it through his uncle who also dealt. T. had a cruel side, but I honestly never thought he would become a killer. But maybe I was naive.
Brandon was about to start fresh back at his old school. I saw him at the open house there, carrying a pizza. (These kids were always hungry!) He walked up to me, all excited about his new opportunity. He had a fresh start. He and James Townsend would have graduated from high school the same year as my son.
Brandon sometimes had trouble processing information, but one day he casually mentioned that while his mother worked, his older brother used to tie young Brandon to the porch. Then his older brother and his friends would beat up Brandon. Brandon, of course, couldn't get away. He said sometimes he would pass out in the fight and wake up still tied to the porch.
None of my students had easy lives. And sure, where were the parents? In Alabama, too many of the dads are in jail. No matter what they did or didn't do, my students needed dads. This left mothers trying to make it, in an economy that sometimes I think thrives on desperation. If no one was desperate, they would never be willing to take certain jobs for so little pay and then where would the business profits go?
So Brandon is also gone: https://www.al.com/news/huntsville/2018/01/brandon_thornton_huntsville.html Whatever he might have become, good or bad, we'll never know. He had a gentle smile and big dreams.
I taught Terran Burt. After high school, Terran and another of my students killed a lady. They landed in jail where Terran later died: https://www.al.com/crime/2020/10/arrest-made-in-madison-county-jail-inmate-slaying.html
My students who died were a mix of good and bad. Some of them made bad choices that led to their fates.
My years with them are in the past, but often they still cross my mind. Are the ones in jail safe? My state has some of the worst jails in the country. And what of the deeper questiins. If they did crimes, do they deserve safety and a second chance? Can they change? Which ones are past redemption? Is anyone?
Bernardo is still in jail here. His parents took a second mortgage on their home to hire a lawyer for him. He is their only son. I'm not sure if Teriq got a lesser charge: https://www.waff.com/story/31437476/2-teens-arrested-on-robbery-charges/ My daughter now works at the store where they stole a car.
Jataveon was arrested again in February. I really struggled with him to help him get his work done to graduate on time. Was it worth it? I hope somehow his education helped, though it appears he keeps landing in trouble.
I don't know why I still remember their names, and google my former students now and then. Most are not in the news so I am hoping they went on to have happy lives. Why do I still search for them, mindlessly snacking on the crumbs they left behind, the threads of their stories after we parted ways? Does searching feed my soul or are the questions in my mind a hunger without an answer?
I don't know. But I hope some part of them knows happiness, friendship, and comfort. I hope they make it, and find the love and peace they always seemed to hunger for.
For almost four years, I taught in two different alternative schools. My students were high school students who had either just been expelled or just gotten out of jail. For whatever reason, the principals felt extreme structure would be good for these students so one rule was "No food or candy in the classrooms." I think part of the reason is that chip bags, etc., could have been used to bring in illegal substances so it helped to just outlaw it all together.
Alternative school students are at this school because they have already broken rules so, not unexpectedly, the "no snacking" rule was also one they treated like a challenge. I hated being "the food police," but one of the points was they needed to learn to follow rules. It's a skill that most of us use in jobs, while driving, etc. A stop sign means stop, even if it's the middle of the night, and no other car in sight.
So these were "the bad kids." However, as the saying goes, "It's hard to hate someone once you know their story." And working with these same kids for four years, I got to know them pretty well. You can't spend every day with someone, year around, without them becoming part of you. They may be the thorn in your side, or the person you always complain about, but they are part of the rhythm of your day.
Many of my students lacked self-control. Like many teens, they lived in the moment, but even more so. Our goal was always to reduce our arrest rate. It wasn't uncommon to have huge fights, even over something as small as another student stealing a piece of their candy. The spring was always the worst. The population of our school fluctuated according to the rate of expulsions and arrests, so went up in the spring as many students "got their last strike" at their old school and were expelled.
It was pretty common to have two to four arrests during school each day. Many of them were due to behavior and fights, but others were due to whatever the students had done previously. The cops learned the best place to pick up a "wanted" kid was to find them at school. We have many "security guards," but also have two cops who dressed in full uniform (handcuffs, etc.) because it was best to already have them on campus for arrests.
The most dangerous times as a teacher were the fights, whether they were in your room or not. We all wore radios to contact security as needed, but used ever changing codes because we did not want the kids to know the "come quick to room ___" code. The times that they realized meant often my students would try to fight as they then knew I could not get security to come. In our meetings, they impressed on us over and over, whatever you do, do NOT let a kid out during a fight. We had about 15 guards on a good day, but if all 200 students joined in a brawl, they could quickly overwhelm security. All students went through metal detectors and were physically frisked every day, but a big one was girls hiding weapons in their hair and/or any student hiding razor blades in their mouths.
Every day was an adventure. Some days were pretty calm. Others ended with me having to give a police statement due to what happened.
I know it sounds like a hostile environment (and it could be), but I truly came to love my students. There were a few who, well, it was very hard to reach, but there are still some I think of.
Seven of them have now died. (Maybe more, I don't know for sure.) Ashia Raquel Oliver died in a fight one weekend. She was murdered. She was a lovely girl, trying to turn her life around: https://www.royalfh.com/obituary/6511192
Mustafa Bearfield was a special education student who was always hungry. He was murdered by a man because he stole the man's lunch. He dropped the lunch box, but the man still shot him in the back as he ran away. The story of his death is here: https://www.al.com/news/huntsville/2018/05/mustafa_bearfield_jonathan_sco.html
The photo of Mustafa was taken in one of our classrooms. He is wearing the white uniform shirt the school required at that time.
Khayree Austin was murdered one night. He was such a card. He always had a shy smile. He had an excuse for everything, but when I'd call him out on it, he would laugh. He'd say, "I just can't put one over on you, Ms. C." Khayree wore his hair high, and was proud of it. We would joke that he did it just to look taller. He would laugh, but never denied that we had guessed his motives. Khayree: https://www.al.com/news/huntsville/2016/07/police_still_following_leads_i.html
Justice Perryman was a twin I taught. Many of my students were huge men, 6 foot 6 inches. Justice was one of them. When I first started teaching, I worried about the larger students, but later learned they were often the calmer ones. The students who were most fiesty tended to be the shorter ones. Maybe they were used to being picked on, so they learned to strike first and run fast.
I don't believe Justice could read very well (which was a fairly common problem.) Justice was trying, but often got discouraged. He became a father as a teen, but committed suicide. https://www.royalfh.com/obituary/6509757
James Townsend actually had the same first name and same birthday as my son. James T. was so determined to do better. He was trying really hard to improve both his grades and his behavior. He would say, "I'm going to graduate, I promise, Ms. C." This is James' story, or the ending of it anyways: https://www.al.com/news/huntsville/2018/04/taco_bell_shooting_murder.html
I admit, I can't pass that Taco Bell without thinking of James T. He had a sweet spirit, a shy grin. He had a crush on one of my female students and would ask me for advice on how to get her to like him. I really thought he would make it out of that life, out of the path he was on. I guess he made it out. I just had hoped he would get a chance to grow up.
Brandon Thornton, oh gosh, Brandon, I had high hopes for him. With Brandon, I hate to say that I taught both him and the student who murdered him. T., the murderer, did have a bad temper. I used to see him on a street near mine, wearing a backpack. The rumors were that he was dealing drugs. He got into it through his uncle who also dealt. T. had a cruel side, but I honestly never thought he would become a killer. But maybe I was naive.
Brandon was about to start fresh back at his old school. I saw him at the open house there, carrying a pizza. (These kids were always hungry!) He walked up to me, all excited about his new opportunity. He had a fresh start. He and James Townsend would have graduated from high school the same year as my son.
Brandon sometimes had trouble processing information, but one day he casually mentioned that while his mother worked, his older brother used to tie young Brandon to the porch. Then his older brother and his friends would beat up Brandon. Brandon, of course, couldn't get away. He said sometimes he would pass out in the fight and wake up still tied to the porch.
None of my students had easy lives. And sure, where were the parents? In Alabama, too many of the dads are in jail. No matter what they did or didn't do, my students needed dads. This left mothers trying to make it, in an economy that sometimes I think thrives on desperation. If no one was desperate, they would never be willing to take certain jobs for so little pay and then where would the business profits go?
So Brandon is also gone: https://www.al.com/news/huntsville/2018/01/brandon_thornton_huntsville.html Whatever he might have become, good or bad, we'll never know. He had a gentle smile and big dreams.
I taught Terran Burt. After high school, Terran and another of my students killed a lady. They landed in jail where Terran later died: https://www.al.com/crime/2020/10/arrest-made-in-madison-county-jail-inmate-slaying.html
My students who died were a mix of good and bad. Some of them made bad choices that led to their fates.
My years with them are in the past, but often they still cross my mind. Are the ones in jail safe? My state has some of the worst jails in the country. And what of the deeper questiins. If they did crimes, do they deserve safety and a second chance? Can they change? Which ones are past redemption? Is anyone?
Bernardo is still in jail here. His parents took a second mortgage on their home to hire a lawyer for him. He is their only son. I'm not sure if Teriq got a lesser charge: https://www.waff.com/story/31437476/2-teens-arrested-on-robbery-charges/ My daughter now works at the store where they stole a car.
Jataveon was arrested again in February. I really struggled with him to help him get his work done to graduate on time. Was it worth it? I hope somehow his education helped, though it appears he keeps landing in trouble.
I don't know why I still remember their names, and google my former students now and then. Most are not in the news so I am hoping they went on to have happy lives. Why do I still search for them, mindlessly snacking on the crumbs they left behind, the threads of their stories after we parted ways? Does searching feed my soul or are the questions in my mind a hunger without an answer?
I don't know. But I hope some part of them knows happiness, friendship, and comfort. I hope they make it, and find the love and peace they always seemed to hunger for.