ghost:
there's a bit of a sting when you remember it isn't real
anyway
we had to chain th house gates closed this morning, because my 92-yr-old grandmother who is staying here for th summer was all dressed up about to leave, yelling that she will go admitted into philippine heart center. she gets like this every now & then, convinced a great terrible pain is bearing down on her, & th only way to escape is medical attention. if only it were that easy, 'la.
exasperated doctors again & again. she insists on being wheeled into their offices, when here at home she wanders about freely, mustering th strength to threaten th housemaids & throw water on our guinea pig. :(
i understand she's bored, & with everyone rushing by in such a hurry to get everything over with, i guess she feels neglected. she's turning 93 on may 12. i come home to see her asleep on our living room sofa, th pages of th newspaper she had been reading skittering around her in th half-light. i wonder what it is she dreams about.
th older you get, how much more of yr dreams are swallowed up by memory? or is everything new again, when you sleep?
i have made up my mind to die young