Closer

[drjeff]

I have a scant few memories of my dad - an early one, five o’clock shadow scratchy against my face when he hoisted me one evening, booze on his breath. A later one, me at 13, him telling his twin daughters that I had mountains right in my town as I showed them a picture I had taken at my junior high school. Tarry sands at Holland, Michigan. A

Comments

[myrna_bird]

That is quite an ability to be able to control the circumstances in your dream to keep yourself feeling safe.

[halfshellvenus]

There's such a sad, wistfulness to this entry. Your father did his duty, financially (so many don't), but you can't bridge years of noninteraction in a single visit. Telling you his dream probably was an attempt to relate to you, but what does that mean against years of separation both before and after?

I find myself thinking that the tunnel/hole is his past, and the fox is the reminder from himself that trying to avoid it doesn't change the fact that his past knows him and always will.

You have such a lovely writing style, regardless of the prompt or topic.

but it did leave some sort of lasting impression, as did the memory of his whiskers scratching against my face, fifty years ago.
This parallel was just beautiful.

[jacq22]

Sad and poetic, beautifully chosen words as usual.
Look how you turned out? that is such a positive in spite of the sadness, you achieve so many good things in your community, you communicate so well, you have more than equalled the score.

Dad left the world feeling short changed, you give in abundance.

[jem0000000]

*hugs*

[similiesslip]

Wow, you can control your dreams? Have you always been able to do that or did you have to learn how? It would be a very helpful skill to have.

I'm sad that your dad missed knowing how amazing you are. This adds depth (to me) to how much you love your kids. You are always so involved and interested in them and I can see part of why.

Thank you for sharing. It's very sad but also reminds all of us who read you often that one can rise above the negative and sadness of the past and become a positive, loving person.

I hope someday he might contact you. This is truly his loss.