Homesick
Feeling really homesick lately, and it's starting to get to me. We decided not to go to Maryland for Christmas this year because of money (and because my parents want to do Christmas in Florida with my Grandparents and Kara, which is even less affordable). We're only just barely breaking even as it is, so travel expenses are a luxury we can't really afford.
We're staying in town for Thanksgiving. We could only afford one trip last summer and we used it on Kate & Dusty's wedding, so I only really got one night in Columbia. We stayed home last spring break. So all said, I've only been home one night out of the entire last year, and it was this crazy hurried rushed thing that mostly involved making cameo appearances to visit all the usual suspects. Who even knows when my next chance is going to be?
And until recently, I'd kind of been avoiding talking to my parents because I wanted to wait until I got a new paycheck this quarter to see how much of a cut it'd be from last year. But now it's been a while since I've gotten it and I still haven't talked to them, and the last time I called they weren't even home. Last year they started harassing me for a Christmas wishlist as early as September, but this year it's almost December and they haven't even asked. I know I'm making a bigger deal out of it than it probably is, but it feels like they don't care anymore, and that hurts.
Jason is fifteen this year. When I started college he was still eight. He's lived half his life with me out of the house, and still he gets excited whenever I call and insists on talking to me, whether or not he's actually got anything to say. Liz can badmouth him for being immature all she wants, but for a kid I almost never get to see ever, I only wish I deserved that kind of enthusiasm.
I miss actually being able to go on vacation. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss Jaydeb and Jason and Deirdre and Peter and Joel and Aryn and Kate and Dusty and everyone else I ever used to take for granted ever getting to hang out with. It's just starting to get to me, y'know?
Doesn't help that the weather's so shitty.
EDIT: Sorry about that. I saw people posting on Facebook about going home for break and when I realized they were talking about Thanksgiving and not just winter it got me thinking about all the chances I could have gone home this past year but didn't.
After I posted, within about ten minutes my amazing wife saw it and called me up to make me feel better. We've got us some bookkeeping to do, but maybe we'll be able to make something work after all. <3
We're staying in town for Thanksgiving. We could only afford one trip last summer and we used it on Kate & Dusty's wedding, so I only really got one night in Columbia. We stayed home last spring break. So all said, I've only been home one night out of the entire last year, and it was this crazy hurried rushed thing that mostly involved making cameo appearances to visit all the usual suspects. Who even knows when my next chance is going to be?
And until recently, I'd kind of been avoiding talking to my parents because I wanted to wait until I got a new paycheck this quarter to see how much of a cut it'd be from last year. But now it's been a while since I've gotten it and I still haven't talked to them, and the last time I called they weren't even home. Last year they started harassing me for a Christmas wishlist as early as September, but this year it's almost December and they haven't even asked. I know I'm making a bigger deal out of it than it probably is, but it feels like they don't care anymore, and that hurts.
Jason is fifteen this year. When I started college he was still eight. He's lived half his life with me out of the house, and still he gets excited whenever I call and insists on talking to me, whether or not he's actually got anything to say. Liz can badmouth him for being immature all she wants, but for a kid I almost never get to see ever, I only wish I deserved that kind of enthusiasm.
I miss actually being able to go on vacation. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss Jaydeb and Jason and Deirdre and Peter and Joel and Aryn and Kate and Dusty and everyone else I ever used to take for granted ever getting to hang out with. It's just starting to get to me, y'know?
Doesn't help that the weather's so shitty.
EDIT: Sorry about that. I saw people posting on Facebook about going home for break and when I realized they were talking about Thanksgiving and not just winter it got me thinking about all the chances I could have gone home this past year but didn't.
After I posted, within about ten minutes my amazing wife saw it and called me up to make me feel better. We've got us some bookkeeping to do, but maybe we'll be able to make something work after all. <3