my car is fixed, so i went on a long drive by myself today. it was nice and it gave me a chance to listen to john legend's live cd (which is amazing and beautiful by the way ( Read more... )

i burn through people like nothing matters. i know this about myself. i'm amazingly good at making people think they don't matter to me, especially after they've hurt me in some way, whether they knew they hurt me or not. my mind is insanely excellent at blocking things out. which is rarely good ( Read more... )

how nice it feels to be completely accepted. completely understood. example (and i know it will only make sense to me, but that's okay ( Read more... )

53 days. a month and a half has never seemed so fucking long.

( a pic i drew of dean and i )

dean and i made a pact to be faithful. most couples take that for granted, that just because someone is your boyfriend, that means that they'll be true to you. and then they get hurt when their boyfriend cheats. dean and i have such an open line of communication and such a level of trust and respect. in our faithfulness pact, we set up the ( Read more... )

someone let slip at walmart that i'm going to be leaving eventually and now my bosses and just about everyone else are having a panic attack and basically offering me anything i want if only i'd stay. it's kind of nice to know that the people at work like me, but at the same time, lord there is not enough money in the world to make me stay at ( Read more... )

all this pent up creativity is going to explode soon. at least i hope it does. my lack of expression is driving me insane ( Read more... )

this is the man i'm going to marry. love doesn't even begin to describe it. i'm just so happy.

my life lately has been a lot of hip hop and r&b. a lot of internet phone calls. a lot of trying desperately to be patient. a lot of not quite lying, not quite telling the truth with my mother. a lot of trying to help my brother come to terms with his pain. a lot of cigarettes ( Read more... )