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[drownsindark2]

i shouldnt feel so lost and hopeless...i really shouldnt. but im truly beginning to see that what i thought i needed is not it. i need a nurse and lots of money to pay her to take care of my sedated ass. thats all because nothing else can help me...not friends, not family, not love. i dont want to be a number, a worthless statistic but thats where

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The things you can't see. . .

[deaddaydreams]

I don't know how it is that you can't see what I see. You inspire things in me that I had put on the shelf long ago like chilhood toys, thinking that such things were pointless, useless, worthless, and hopeless. To quote my LJ:

"Through all of this drama and insanity Mick has been my rock in the storm. <3 He listens all the time, which must be hard because I talk alot of nonsense. If I'm feeling like my world is shit and I should just give up, he reminds me that there are things worth the struggle. Things like love."

Long after you've given up on everything I will stll hold hope, for you, for me, for everyone. I have to, because if I can't believe that there is stil good in this wretched world then I have nothing to believe in. Until the day I die I will never stop believing in you and you can't give up either. I refuse to let you. I will hold you up to shine bright for the whole world to see and, though my hands may burn, I will smile at the beauty of it.

I love you no matter what. Once you've had the love of a Caity it's