how 'bout this?

[drownthomas]

i wrote this a long time ago, so tell me what you guys think. it has no title, but i labeled it "horrible" when i saved it to disk. the original spacing didn't translate the way i wanted it to, but that's life. here it is

Comments

[dj_i_cue]

couldnt even read it dude... you get the award for longest run-on sentance...

interesting

[anonymous]

Liked how it was vivid yet allusive. It was about love and regret, right? Would've been easier to read with some elementary language mechanics added in there somewhere.
-Roy Michaels

Re: interesting

[drownthomas]

thanks for the input, and concerning the grammar:
when i write, i usually write spacially, that is, i put the words on the page where ever i feel they need to go. it gives the poem natural punctuation and cause for pause without having to use conventional techniques. i tried to preserve the same format when translating the work, but live journal doesn't allow my writing to stay looking like i originally intended it to. so, sorry.