well, some days are harder than others. i cried for the first time in about 4 years. and it was a good one. the funeral is going to be on thursday or friday. i will be there no matter what. pray for me and my friends. we are working in the right direction but we still have along way to go.

It was a start to a great day. i woke up to my woman giving me a kiss. it doesnt get better than that. i picked up a few hours at work. and life was good today. until about 2:30. at that time i got a phone call that changed the mood of the whole day. lisa was dead. she was found in her room that morning. she weighed 75 pounds ( Read more... )

for life core today we took some personality tests. let me know if you think this is like me. i think it hit right on the nose. and it even explains the problems with last week. i am both a protector and a counselor. first the protector ( Read more... )

things are going better and i am board out of my skull. and i figured something out. when i'm mad i need to go lifting more ofter. it made me feel better. temporarily but that is not the point. to say the least i'm a little sore right now. ah the joy of brutally beating the crap out of your self is amazing.

i dont know what to say. one of the people i considered my closest friends here is no more. i realized that i have been treating her badly and i wanted to make amends. i told her i need to talk to her tonight and it was important. i wanted to appologize to her face for the way that i have been treating her and talk to her about my situation. ( Read more... )

to all of my friends here. please understand that i am upset and probably am saying things that i dont mean. if i insulted you im sorry i didnt mean to. i want all of you as my freinds, i really do. im just haveing a hard time and i need to vent. im sorry that all of you are being victimized i dont mean to but i need to get all of this out of ( Read more... )

Im am sitting here thinking about how much i need someone to talk to. Someone here that will actually take a little bit of thier time to ask if im ok. The pain is getting worse and im not holding it in any more. i tried to stay happy and make others happy. I guess im not as independent as i thought. I am so sick of all my fake friends. All ( Read more... )

i really hate it when people say tht they will do something and then dont. i mean it is ok to say that you will talk to someone and then bail out and talk to some one else that is obviously more improtant. but the thing is, if that is the case why tell the other person that you will do something else in the first place, if you really have no ( Read more... )

ok, my last post i lied. i guess now there are people that are talking about me and i was just aproached by an individual from the secureity department telling me that a bunch of the officers are anoyed with me because i ask to many questions about everything. and i always get involved with things that i dont need to be involved in while im not ( Read more... )

You're worth so much ( Read more... )