(no subject)
So, there I was, minding my own business and watching a movie when all of a sudden I had the overwhelming urge to write this. Since this was the first serious urge to write I've had in a very, very long time, I did as it commanded.
Alex found me, god damn him, he really did. He even found me while I had Mack over. He knew I was home and he became despairingly persistent. I threw open the front door as soon as he started knocking on it.
"Talk to me!" he demanded.
"No!" I answered, and promptly slammed the door in his face. So he went from knocking to pounding. Mack stood behind me, acting the part of protective boyfriend. I swung open the door again once Mack was behind me because then I needed to see Alex's face, for I had started to an idea of what had happened to him.
"Go away!" I yelled as Mack placed a hand on my shoulder. Alex's face went slack the second after I'd opened the door (shock...presumably), and I felt a small thrill of triumph. Mack stepped out onto the front porch, between him and I. Alex, who appeared to be thoroughly enraged, shoved por Mack with such force he simply toppled over into a stunned mess. I took a step backwards as Alex brushed himself off, my hand on the doorknob.
"Come any closer and I'll scream," I told him. "I mean it."
"And that'll do what?" he snapped. "Get your little friend here to beat me up? I doubt it." Alex's grin split his face nearly in half. "I don't want to do anything but talk to you. Just talk."
"Talk about what?" I returned, stepping forward. "How you think it's best that we had a clean break when the time came?"
"What?" asked an extremely confused Mack. "What, wait...are you Alex?"
Alex grunted, crossing his arms and doing something that appeared to be akin to puffing out his chest.
"Oh," Mack considered this for second, "well, then I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"That's not your decision." And, before the words had barely left his mouth, Alex had pushed me back into the house and slammed the front door. Mack was now pounding ferociously on it and I was certain he'd have the police or my parents on the phone within seconds. I got to my feet, livid.
"You bastard, you give me some tripe about my being some sort of masochist, I think, and you stormed off. Whatever it is, I don't care what you've got to say."
Alex scowled as I drew myself up and composed myself the best I could. "Go to hell," I muttered.
He sighed, still fuming, and ran his hand across the back of his neck, the clipped hair making a sharp, prickly noise. "I just -- "
"You just what?" I spat. "Get out of my house, my boyfriend's going to be wanting to come back in."
"That?" Alex glanced out a window. "You're dating that?"
"Does it bother you?" I smiled with all the poison I could muster. "Did your girlfriend leave you so you could come crying to me?"
"Yes," he replied altogether too sharply. "Yes, but I'm not coming crying to you."
"Then leave."
"I came back for the funeral of a friend, a mutual friend, I might remind you, and all you've done it act like a complete bitch."
"Well, excuse me, but I don't think you've got any right in calling me that."
"Hey, all I'm saying it, your mother asked that I come and visit. So I have."
I froze. "My mother...called you?"
"Yes," he said too sharply again, "because she's worried that you're not quite right. That we had a lover's quarrel or something."
"But my mother hates you," I reasoned, still shocked. "She hates you so very much."
"Well, apparently not," he muttered, advancing slowly. "I don't think you do either."
He called my bluff rather unsubtly, matching me step for step as I retreated from him.
"I do...miss you, you know," he admitted, glacing off to the side. "It's silly, really, to think about all the things that you said or did or I said or did or that you wanted to say or I wanted to do, really..." he paused, thrusting his hands into his pockets. "It's stupid and emo and wrong..."
"I've called your parents Dru!" Mack's voice was muffled by the walls of the house. "They're on they're way!"
"I will lie straight through my teeth for you if you leave now," I told him.
Alex shrugged, all his fight gone now. "I miss you."
"I know," I replied, giving him a push towards the door.
"I -- "
The front door was within reach now, and I had my hand on the doorknob. Alex ran his hand across the back of his neck again. I found myself pausing with a certain feeling of dread. He sucked in his breath through his teeth and the most ghastly words tumbled out.
"I...well, I think I loved you -- love you, I mean, it's not like that, but it is and I don't know what your mother thought that was going to fix...but she got it out of me, damn it, and...and...and..."
A warm, nasty weight settled in my head, making my body feel immeasurably heavy and clumsy and all the blood in my body seemed to crash into my face. Alex, red himself, let himself out and disappeared as quickly as he had come. Mack rushed in, checking me and clucking like a mother hen while I simply sat on the stairs in shock. I stared out at the driveway, waiting for the solution for this new, horrifying and completely unforseen obstacles to appear, but all I saw was Mack's car parked next to mine.
Oh, so it sucks. At the rate that I'm going, I'm going to be Queen of the Unfinished Projects and Lady of Over Ambition.
Alex found me, god damn him, he really did. He even found me while I had Mack over. He knew I was home and he became despairingly persistent. I threw open the front door as soon as he started knocking on it.
"Talk to me!" he demanded.
"No!" I answered, and promptly slammed the door in his face. So he went from knocking to pounding. Mack stood behind me, acting the part of protective boyfriend. I swung open the door again once Mack was behind me because then I needed to see Alex's face, for I had started to an idea of what had happened to him.
"Go away!" I yelled as Mack placed a hand on my shoulder. Alex's face went slack the second after I'd opened the door (shock...presumably), and I felt a small thrill of triumph. Mack stepped out onto the front porch, between him and I. Alex, who appeared to be thoroughly enraged, shoved por Mack with such force he simply toppled over into a stunned mess. I took a step backwards as Alex brushed himself off, my hand on the doorknob.
"Come any closer and I'll scream," I told him. "I mean it."
"And that'll do what?" he snapped. "Get your little friend here to beat me up? I doubt it." Alex's grin split his face nearly in half. "I don't want to do anything but talk to you. Just talk."
"Talk about what?" I returned, stepping forward. "How you think it's best that we had a clean break when the time came?"
"What?" asked an extremely confused Mack. "What, wait...are you Alex?"
Alex grunted, crossing his arms and doing something that appeared to be akin to puffing out his chest.
"Oh," Mack considered this for second, "well, then I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"That's not your decision." And, before the words had barely left his mouth, Alex had pushed me back into the house and slammed the front door. Mack was now pounding ferociously on it and I was certain he'd have the police or my parents on the phone within seconds. I got to my feet, livid.
"You bastard, you give me some tripe about my being some sort of masochist, I think, and you stormed off. Whatever it is, I don't care what you've got to say."
Alex scowled as I drew myself up and composed myself the best I could. "Go to hell," I muttered.
He sighed, still fuming, and ran his hand across the back of his neck, the clipped hair making a sharp, prickly noise. "I just -- "
"You just what?" I spat. "Get out of my house, my boyfriend's going to be wanting to come back in."
"That?" Alex glanced out a window. "You're dating that?"
"Does it bother you?" I smiled with all the poison I could muster. "Did your girlfriend leave you so you could come crying to me?"
"Yes," he replied altogether too sharply. "Yes, but I'm not coming crying to you."
"Then leave."
"I came back for the funeral of a friend, a mutual friend, I might remind you, and all you've done it act like a complete bitch."
"Well, excuse me, but I don't think you've got any right in calling me that."
"Hey, all I'm saying it, your mother asked that I come and visit. So I have."
I froze. "My mother...called you?"
"Yes," he said too sharply again, "because she's worried that you're not quite right. That we had a lover's quarrel or something."
"But my mother hates you," I reasoned, still shocked. "She hates you so very much."
"Well, apparently not," he muttered, advancing slowly. "I don't think you do either."
He called my bluff rather unsubtly, matching me step for step as I retreated from him.
"I do...miss you, you know," he admitted, glacing off to the side. "It's silly, really, to think about all the things that you said or did or I said or did or that you wanted to say or I wanted to do, really..." he paused, thrusting his hands into his pockets. "It's stupid and emo and wrong..."
"I've called your parents Dru!" Mack's voice was muffled by the walls of the house. "They're on they're way!"
"I will lie straight through my teeth for you if you leave now," I told him.
Alex shrugged, all his fight gone now. "I miss you."
"I know," I replied, giving him a push towards the door.
"I -- "
The front door was within reach now, and I had my hand on the doorknob. Alex ran his hand across the back of his neck again. I found myself pausing with a certain feeling of dread. He sucked in his breath through his teeth and the most ghastly words tumbled out.
"I...well, I think I loved you -- love you, I mean, it's not like that, but it is and I don't know what your mother thought that was going to fix...but she got it out of me, damn it, and...and...and..."
A warm, nasty weight settled in my head, making my body feel immeasurably heavy and clumsy and all the blood in my body seemed to crash into my face. Alex, red himself, let himself out and disappeared as quickly as he had come. Mack rushed in, checking me and clucking like a mother hen while I simply sat on the stairs in shock. I stared out at the driveway, waiting for the solution for this new, horrifying and completely unforseen obstacles to appear, but all I saw was Mack's car parked next to mine.
Oh, so it sucks. At the rate that I'm going, I'm going to be Queen of the Unfinished Projects and Lady of Over Ambition.