(Untitled)

[druisire]

You know, I think all that noise we were making on these things actually worked. Looks like things aren't getting censored anymore and it's about bloody time. The Independent's got a bit in there about someone gone missing, and I bet it's something to do with that bloke what lost his head. I got a letter from my brother, finally, and he says things

Comments

[smith_badger]

Welcome to life as a bloke. I'm Zacharias, and I'll be your tour guide for this evening.

[druisire]

Do I get an informative pamphlet?

[smith_badger]

Sadly, that would imply that I know anything about them, which I suspect I don't. However, what I have learnt is the following:

Agree with them. Except when they don't want you to. This is impossible, as they never tell you which one they want!

When they tell you a problem, they don't want you to fix it. They get mortally offended if you do and kick you. I still don't know why.

If they ask any question about their appearance, run. There is no right answer. They are all wrong and will result in your death.

If chocolate and death glares come out on a regular basis, you have hit upon the most terrible time a male has ever encountered. This is worse at schools because for some reason, all the girls in the dormitory do this at once. Your life is forfeit. You are the Root of All Evil.

However, as to why all this happens? I have absolutely no clue. I was hoping someone was going to tell me eventually.

[druisire]

See, this is why I avoid the whole long term saddling up with. It's impossible to please them, and they cause frequent bodily harm that we're not allowed to complain about. They're like one of those Chinese finger trap thingies.

On the other hand, when they're nice, they're very, very nice. I suppose it's all worth it in the end.

[keeper_ron]

It's about time the newspapers started to publish the real stuff. Of course, it's weird that there's not a bit deal made about the guy with no head. You'd think that was more important than someone making a business deal or something.

[druisire]

Someone's still covering up. It's just at a higher level now.

[keeper_ron]

Yeah, but that's been happening since forever. 'member fifth year and what they did with Harry?

[druisire]

Yeah, it's probably been going on since there's been newspapers. Which is all a crock of shite, I think. It's that we can't do piss all about it that's really got me.

[hopps]

They don't want you to mate! It's not fun unless there is a little mystery involved!

[smith_badger]

I thought the whole point was to mate. I've obviously missed something here.

[hopps]

It's not like they're going to admit that!

[smith_badger]

Depends on the circumstance.

[ekmac]

I rather am starting to think they do everything enigmatically, completely unbeknownst to them. Which is a step up or a step down, depending on how you see such things.

[druisire]

In other words, women are as in the dark about themselves as we are about them?

[nosugar_nospice]

I can help you understand girls, it's not that hard. People are people. And Michael might be able to help, I'll have to ask him. He understands me wonderfully.

[druisire]

No offense, Turpin? Because you're undoubtedly a brilliant girl. But you want to be a nudist, and somehow I don't think that you've got insight into the average bird's mind. You and Corner exist on some other planet, I think. A very happy one.

[cornered_in]

Nudism is a perfectly natural lifestyle -- after all, people have been doing it for centuries. In fact, since the beginning of time, humans have done it.

[druisire]

Yeah, but so's eating things from the dirt that you put on the end of a stick. And so's sticking wild pigs with spears for your supper. No thanks, mate.