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[drunkensailor]

I don't want to write about it in detail, and I damn sure don't want to discuss it, but today a girl who's both a close friend and someone who once genuinely loved me romantically told me flatly that I'd "done it to myself." There was not a shred of mercy or sympathy to be found as I threw myself before her, in tears no less, all the while

Comments

This is a repost because I fucked up the html and half the old one was in italics

[adarascarlet]

I know you don't want to discuss it now, but if you do later, give me a call.

It's funny (not haha funny but coincidence funny), today while going through my old pictures I found one I had taken of graffiti in a bathroom that said "Isn't it sad... when someone breaks your heart and you still love them with all the little pieces?" One of the best things I've ever read, on a mirror in a bathroom at a karaoke bar. It almost brought tears to my eyes, just like it did when I first saw it. You know I can relate, citing reason after reason to hate Matt yet still missing him and dreaming about him, even now. It never fails to amaze me how heartless people can be to one another once they're no longer romantically involved, like when you love someone all you want is for them to be happy and then once it's over you don't care, as if they're not the same person. It's a selfish thing people don't think about. If I love you, you deserve to be happy, but if I don't love you, you don't. Then again, I guess mixing logic and love doesn't exactly work

[crawdaddio]

I know you didn't write this expecting any kind of reply, and this kind may not be welcome, but goddamnit, Brian, you're not worthless. Even with my standards, I'd say there are people around who haven't done a whole lot to improve the world, or their part of it. You aren't one of those people; Brian, you've given me advice and consolation, and reasons to keep going for nearly as long as I've known you, and even with all the horrible shit you've had to put up with, compared to which my troubles were so trivial, you've been there to listen and to offer perspective and counsel. You're one of the dearest and most valuable friends I've known.

I haven't been a very good friend to you, and I'm sorry for that. There isn't a whole lot I can offer you while I'm in Spain, but what there is, I'm here for.

[drunkensailor]

Thank you. This meant a lot, and I'm sorry that I didn't reply in a timely manner to be sure that you knew it.