Oh boy...
So I just got off the phone with an ex-girlfriend of mine. Things she's always said about me always are a bone of contention to me, and to a point, they are true. So, let me see if I can explain it.
There are certain ways that I'm set in. I'm approaching 40, and you don't get that way without doing things your way in life to some extent. I totally understand that being in a relationship is give and take, but there are some things that I'm not willing to concede. Therefore, it seems that it becomes a problem. Mind you, it's never been told to me until *after* the fact, but nevertheless, it's there.
One of the problems she had with me is that I seem to not want to change my ways. Now mind you, this is the same ex that cheated on me with *two* other guys, even after which, I still thought she was "the one". I jumped through the hoops; I wasn't a jealous person, and she hated that, so I became one. She didn't like that. I made many changes for her, and it never was enough. Finally, it was over by her choosing (not mine), so through all the bullshit, I did what she wanted me to do, changed, and it was never enough. OK, I can understand that. No woman likes a lemming, one that'll worship the ground she walks on, willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy, and will put up with anything to win her love. Who knew. [For those at home, that's *heavy* sarcasm.]
Fast forward to a few years ago. Apparently, this time the bone of contention was that I wasn't "financially stable enough, didn't care enough to acknowledge her opinion, or my favorite, I didn't have enough focus in my life". Let's not talk about how at this point, I was a college student, trying to survive the Meteorology program. I'll grant you, I didn't have a master plan for 30 years down the road, but honestly, I don't know of many people that do either. But apparently, it's not enough that I wanted to be a Meteorologist and was working towards it, I just wasn't focused enough.
Now fast forward to today. I apparently had a lesson in love today: if you know the person that you want to be with for the rest of your life with is lying to you, short of him committing adultery, it's OK to put up with that, because it's the love of your life. Mind you, this is the same guy that strung her along, promising to divorce his wife at the time, and not doing it until my ex finally had had enough of it and decided to break up with him. That snapped him in action and he finally divorced his wife, and they got married, leaving yours truly in the dust. Mind you, it wasn't enough that I had changed my ways again for her and tried to show that I was a responsible adult. Let's also not mention that the way she told me that she didn't think we weren't going to be good together was over AIM and not even so much as a phone call. But I'm the one with no focus.
So, let me see if I can review the points for myself about me:
1) I'm Type A, stubborn as hell, and refuse to change;
2) I lack the focus, drive, and determination to make anything with my life;
3) I'm the one who has to be chased for a relationship, as opposed to doing the chasing;
4) I'm apparently set in my ways so much that I can't have a normal relationship because of it;
And for the finale:
5) Anything short of adultery is OK as long as it's your soulmate.
If this is the case with love, I'm going to be a perpetual bachelor.