I'll Love You Til The Sky Falls Down... I'll Love You Til I Can't Feel Anything At All
Okay….. not sure why I’m writing in my journal. Like…. I’m tired. I kinda want to sleep… but it’s only 11 PM…. and my roommate is awake which will make sleeping impossible… he has lacrosse buddies over… including one I’ve never seen and want to marry right now. Just…… oh good God….. yeah.
So yeah….. yesterday was a crazy day… in the office from 10 AM til 7 PM doing taxes and homework. My taxes bit this year….. absolutely bit. I had to file for both MA and CA….. but it all went to hell because for the first time soccer paid me not under the table… I got a tax form for it…. and it screwed everything. Apparently the only way to file this form is to declare myself as self-employed and owning my own business… which requires like 18 more forms to fill out. I was so damn lost and it was so confusing and there were so many forms. More importantly… because of this form I couldn’t do anything online, all of it had to be done on paper… and my parents never sent the booklets I should’ve gotten which would’ve made it slightly easier. It took forever…. and was such a pain…. and God it was agony on a day I had so much work to do. I ended up skipping my first class to work on my presentation for my second class. Shit sucked… but whatever.
So… gets to class….. yeah…. I do my presentation… feel like time is rushing by and I’m gonna finish to early and look like an unprepared fool… yeah I’m not even half way through before time is called and it’s been an hour and we’re leaving to go watch a play one of my classmates is directing. I was all…. okay. Worst… in the presentation….. it was Revelation 17 and some of the modern theories posit that the popes are the 7 kings before the beast and such… totally referred to Benedict XVI as Ratzi… total slip of the tongue… couple of the priests in class kinda gave me that look….. I was… so embarrassed… and Abby fucking broke out laughing at it. It was…. amusing and very embarrassing.
Well… we went to the play… which was a fascinating rendition of the Medieval British Mystery Plays. All about the Passion of Christ….. and so anti-Jew and Muslim. For the winner…. Pontius Pilate was a Muslim and goes around saying By Mohammed. Fucking lol. I was all…. that is the best history I’ve ever heard. But… it was Britain at a time that didn’t even know what a Jew or Muslim was. Anyway… the play removed all of the anti-Semitic and Muslim phrasing and tried to make it better without completely destroying it.
So… some fun side notes of the performance. First….. it the guards in charge of crucifying the Lord as well as the ones guarding the tomb are the three stooges. I mean… they’re hitting each other, fumbling over the attempts to nail Jesus to the cross…. and hysterically arguing and bumbling everything. It was….. I mean comedy as Jesus is screaming and being nailed to a cross….. it…. it was great.
Also…. Jesus was hot. I mean… he was ripped…. and spent a lot of time shirtless and even more time in a flimsy loincloth… all in like 50 degree weather… it was unnaturally cold. Even better….. the criminal nailed to the right of Jesus…. was God fucking hot. I mean… I’ve seen this kid around campus too… but without a shirt and shivering and breathing hard….. and wearing a tiny loincloth….. it was all so so good. And nailed to a cross… that can only make it hotter for me…. but sex mixed up with perverting religious symbols….. that’s my kind of blasphemy.
Also…. the man who played Pilate was a pro actor I’ve never heard of… but who was good.
Also… in unrelated news… just found out my stupid boss’s husband is one of the animators for Batman the Brave and the Bold… I’m all.. I so want to meet this guy and figure out how he puts up with his wife when I want to kill her every single day with a violence that surprises me.
Okay…. massive listening to Underworld has improved my tiredness. Maybe I’ll play FFXII… or maybe…. not.. I don’t know… I’m caught in that in between world. I have work to do… but am too unfocussed and tired to do that… but I’m not tired enough to sleep…. plus I’m all pumped up on hockey…. Red Wings with a big Game 1 victory today… for which I totally ditched work. So worth it… though I did walk in on my roommate playing video games in his underwear and hastily moving to put shorts on. I was all like… are you masturbating to Fifa 2009?.... I mean….. I’ve seen worse…. but really? It was odd…. but I’m sure he was shocked to see me… I mean I never am home at 4 PM in the afternoon.
Also… more random thoughts….. Abby and Haydon… two of my fellow fantastic classmates…. yeah… had a revelation yesterday of where they knew my roommate from… the one I hate. He totally gave them a tour of the archaeology lab where he works… and they remembered him for not showering… I was all… fuck yeah….. hate. I mean… the kid is such a fail. Also…he’s been sleeping on the couch a lot lately… it’s weird and makes me refuse to ever sit on it. And…. his shitty little friend of his has been over a lot lately and they sit way way way too close to each other on the couch… it’s almost cute except for the hate.
Also…. totally got the chair of my department to agree to teach a course on queer theology next spring…. fuck yes. I’m ambitious. He was all.. well we could do just an independent study… how many students do you have interested… I was all… 10 bitch. His jaw dropped. I was all… when I go recruit things.. I get shit done….. plus a lot of people owe me and I said take this course if it is offered… plus it’s a topic people want to study thanks to the storm of controversy and confusion over it with gay marriage being banned just a short election ago here. So yeah… he… he agreed to do it. I am so pumped.
Also… I hate my boss. It’s known. She annoys me regularly. Now she’s giving me explicit instructions on how to design fliers… like I want the font this color and this type of script font and shit. I’m all like…. FUCK NO. I refuse to listen. She wants a piece of crap fuck program she can use all the time she does nothing with to design it herself. I will instead design something breathtaking…. as all of my work has been so far…… and if I have to go over her fucking head. I’m sick and tired of her shit. It’s like… if my job is to do the fucking design work… either fucking trust me when I’m so much better at it than you…. or fucking do get someone else to do it. I’m not playing the let me cater to your horrible tasteless whims game.
I’m realizing I make a horrible employee. I just can’t do the… do this exactly as I want it I don’t care if it sucks or you can do it better… you work for e do what I say. I can’t do it. I just cannot be someone’s bitch and do what they want unless they give me good reason to do it that way. It’s so funny when I can turn the complete opposite in sex. But yeah…. I can’t do it. I mean… I’ve had bad bosses… and usually I just ignore them and do what I know to be better unless they make sense and are right. Wow…. like it’s clearly obvious…. but I’m just realizing what a bad employee I am. I’ve always thought of myself as such a great worker… when in truth…. in this sense I’m horrible. I can’t just take orders…. which is an important part of working for someone. I’d suck at the military… in many many ways…. Patrick was in my office today talking about how this summer he’s going off to Alabama to run boot camp for school and that he toured this site for the first time this past summer. Anyway… he used to be one of those people who went around with the goal every day of making one of the younger cadets cry… which is awesome. So… he was going on and on about how he would do it… and how most of them would get more scared if he just walked up and spoke quietly. So… while there this summer he was just being shown around and all of the cadets were lined up and one of them was just quaking. Patrick stopped…. and was so tempted to say something and mess with the kid…. but didn’t. The story hilariously turns me on. I would enjoy watching that. But he’s not sure whether to be somewhat nice or go back into try and make at least one cry every day mode this summer.
I feel my writing is very all over the place right now. It reflects my….. tired and distracted mental state. I have to work this weekend. It pisses me off. I don’t want to. I want a break. Plus… I really really need to start working on my final papers that are due in like 3 weeks. I mean… I have to present and have a draft in 2 weeks for one of them and present the other next week…. really need to get on that. I mean… I’m doing much better this semester… my grades are really picking up… All A’s in one class, 3 A’s and one A- on the first paper for the other, and one where we only have the final paper as a grade. It’s good… I need to get my GPA up if I ever have hope of getting into a good school for my doctorate.
I think that shall be all for right now.
So yeah….. yesterday was a crazy day… in the office from 10 AM til 7 PM doing taxes and homework. My taxes bit this year….. absolutely bit. I had to file for both MA and CA….. but it all went to hell because for the first time soccer paid me not under the table… I got a tax form for it…. and it screwed everything. Apparently the only way to file this form is to declare myself as self-employed and owning my own business… which requires like 18 more forms to fill out. I was so damn lost and it was so confusing and there were so many forms. More importantly… because of this form I couldn’t do anything online, all of it had to be done on paper… and my parents never sent the booklets I should’ve gotten which would’ve made it slightly easier. It took forever…. and was such a pain…. and God it was agony on a day I had so much work to do. I ended up skipping my first class to work on my presentation for my second class. Shit sucked… but whatever.
So… gets to class….. yeah…. I do my presentation… feel like time is rushing by and I’m gonna finish to early and look like an unprepared fool… yeah I’m not even half way through before time is called and it’s been an hour and we’re leaving to go watch a play one of my classmates is directing. I was all…. okay. Worst… in the presentation….. it was Revelation 17 and some of the modern theories posit that the popes are the 7 kings before the beast and such… totally referred to Benedict XVI as Ratzi… total slip of the tongue… couple of the priests in class kinda gave me that look….. I was… so embarrassed… and Abby fucking broke out laughing at it. It was…. amusing and very embarrassing.
Well… we went to the play… which was a fascinating rendition of the Medieval British Mystery Plays. All about the Passion of Christ….. and so anti-Jew and Muslim. For the winner…. Pontius Pilate was a Muslim and goes around saying By Mohammed. Fucking lol. I was all…. that is the best history I’ve ever heard. But… it was Britain at a time that didn’t even know what a Jew or Muslim was. Anyway… the play removed all of the anti-Semitic and Muslim phrasing and tried to make it better without completely destroying it.
So… some fun side notes of the performance. First….. it the guards in charge of crucifying the Lord as well as the ones guarding the tomb are the three stooges. I mean… they’re hitting each other, fumbling over the attempts to nail Jesus to the cross…. and hysterically arguing and bumbling everything. It was….. I mean comedy as Jesus is screaming and being nailed to a cross….. it…. it was great.
Also…. Jesus was hot. I mean… he was ripped…. and spent a lot of time shirtless and even more time in a flimsy loincloth… all in like 50 degree weather… it was unnaturally cold. Even better….. the criminal nailed to the right of Jesus…. was God fucking hot. I mean… I’ve seen this kid around campus too… but without a shirt and shivering and breathing hard….. and wearing a tiny loincloth….. it was all so so good. And nailed to a cross… that can only make it hotter for me…. but sex mixed up with perverting religious symbols….. that’s my kind of blasphemy.
Also…. the man who played Pilate was a pro actor I’ve never heard of… but who was good.
Also… in unrelated news… just found out my stupid boss’s husband is one of the animators for Batman the Brave and the Bold… I’m all.. I so want to meet this guy and figure out how he puts up with his wife when I want to kill her every single day with a violence that surprises me.
Okay…. massive listening to Underworld has improved my tiredness. Maybe I’ll play FFXII… or maybe…. not.. I don’t know… I’m caught in that in between world. I have work to do… but am too unfocussed and tired to do that… but I’m not tired enough to sleep…. plus I’m all pumped up on hockey…. Red Wings with a big Game 1 victory today… for which I totally ditched work. So worth it… though I did walk in on my roommate playing video games in his underwear and hastily moving to put shorts on. I was all like… are you masturbating to Fifa 2009?.... I mean….. I’ve seen worse…. but really? It was odd…. but I’m sure he was shocked to see me… I mean I never am home at 4 PM in the afternoon.
Also… more random thoughts….. Abby and Haydon… two of my fellow fantastic classmates…. yeah… had a revelation yesterday of where they knew my roommate from… the one I hate. He totally gave them a tour of the archaeology lab where he works… and they remembered him for not showering… I was all… fuck yeah….. hate. I mean… the kid is such a fail. Also…he’s been sleeping on the couch a lot lately… it’s weird and makes me refuse to ever sit on it. And…. his shitty little friend of his has been over a lot lately and they sit way way way too close to each other on the couch… it’s almost cute except for the hate.
Also…. totally got the chair of my department to agree to teach a course on queer theology next spring…. fuck yes. I’m ambitious. He was all.. well we could do just an independent study… how many students do you have interested… I was all… 10 bitch. His jaw dropped. I was all… when I go recruit things.. I get shit done….. plus a lot of people owe me and I said take this course if it is offered… plus it’s a topic people want to study thanks to the storm of controversy and confusion over it with gay marriage being banned just a short election ago here. So yeah… he… he agreed to do it. I am so pumped.
Also… I hate my boss. It’s known. She annoys me regularly. Now she’s giving me explicit instructions on how to design fliers… like I want the font this color and this type of script font and shit. I’m all like…. FUCK NO. I refuse to listen. She wants a piece of crap fuck program she can use all the time she does nothing with to design it herself. I will instead design something breathtaking…. as all of my work has been so far…… and if I have to go over her fucking head. I’m sick and tired of her shit. It’s like… if my job is to do the fucking design work… either fucking trust me when I’m so much better at it than you…. or fucking do get someone else to do it. I’m not playing the let me cater to your horrible tasteless whims game.
I’m realizing I make a horrible employee. I just can’t do the… do this exactly as I want it I don’t care if it sucks or you can do it better… you work for e do what I say. I can’t do it. I just cannot be someone’s bitch and do what they want unless they give me good reason to do it that way. It’s so funny when I can turn the complete opposite in sex. But yeah…. I can’t do it. I mean… I’ve had bad bosses… and usually I just ignore them and do what I know to be better unless they make sense and are right. Wow…. like it’s clearly obvious…. but I’m just realizing what a bad employee I am. I’ve always thought of myself as such a great worker… when in truth…. in this sense I’m horrible. I can’t just take orders…. which is an important part of working for someone. I’d suck at the military… in many many ways…. Patrick was in my office today talking about how this summer he’s going off to Alabama to run boot camp for school and that he toured this site for the first time this past summer. Anyway… he used to be one of those people who went around with the goal every day of making one of the younger cadets cry… which is awesome. So… he was going on and on about how he would do it… and how most of them would get more scared if he just walked up and spoke quietly. So… while there this summer he was just being shown around and all of the cadets were lined up and one of them was just quaking. Patrick stopped…. and was so tempted to say something and mess with the kid…. but didn’t. The story hilariously turns me on. I would enjoy watching that. But he’s not sure whether to be somewhat nice or go back into try and make at least one cry every day mode this summer.
I feel my writing is very all over the place right now. It reflects my….. tired and distracted mental state. I have to work this weekend. It pisses me off. I don’t want to. I want a break. Plus… I really really need to start working on my final papers that are due in like 3 weeks. I mean… I have to present and have a draft in 2 weeks for one of them and present the other next week…. really need to get on that. I mean… I’m doing much better this semester… my grades are really picking up… All A’s in one class, 3 A’s and one A- on the first paper for the other, and one where we only have the final paper as a grade. It’s good… I need to get my GPA up if I ever have hope of getting into a good school for my doctorate.
I think that shall be all for right now.