"Benny, how long we been partners? You can tell me anything."
Fraser adjusted his pencil cup on his desk, then lined up his stapler next to it. Ray was about to throw something as Fraser then tested the dampness of the soil in his office plant. Finally, Fraser folded his hands on the desk and looked up at him.
"You should know that I've been keeping a secret from you."
"Yeah?" Ray felt a cold sweat break out in his armpits. He tightened his grip on his overcoat, shaking a little.
Ray goggled. That...was not what he'd been expecting. Ray didn't like surprises. On the other hand, it was a lot better than what he'd been expecting. "You are?"
Fraser coughed. "Yes, Ray."
Ray started to grin. "You know, Fraser, when I said 'You can tell me anything,' I really meant 'You can tell me anything, but maybe work is not the best place for certain revelations.'"
"Oh," Fraser said, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "I apologize for not immediately taking your meaning, Ray."
"We did work overtime on the Carlotti case yesterday."
"Yes, Ray. I believe you've clocked a number of hours of overtime this week."
“Well, I believe I committed what you would call a lascivious act.”
“You did what?
“A lascivious act, Ray. Of the type that is still forbidden under the current Criminal Code.”
“Pull my other one, Fraser.”
“Your other…er, what do you want me to pull, Ray?”
“Oh, God. Look. Just sit tight and don’t pull anything. Do not pull anything, do not look crosseyed at anyone, and for Chrissakes do not tell anyone an Inuit story. Or any story. No stories!”
“Oh. Er.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ray ran an aggravated hand through his hair. Even his spikes were feeling kind of wilted.
“Well, I’m afraid I already may have related a small anecdote about a Mountie who tore his jodhpurs while, well…” Ray could hear Fraser scratching his eyebrow all the way from whatever jail he was in. “Well, that’s not important. What is important is that I’m currently in jail, and I’m hoping you’d be so kind as to bail me out. And Turnbull, of course.”
“Do I dare ask what he did, Fraser?”
“Well, I’d…” Ray heard the eyebrow-scratching noise again. “I’d
( ... )
"And Turnbull, of course." Ray sounded completely reasonable, and it took a moment for Fraser to realize what he'd said.
"Not that I'm not aware of Turnbull's many," Fraser cleared his throat before continuing, "charms, but why do you want to invite him along on our quest?"
"Well, the more Mounties the better, right? I mean, you guys all get lessons in this kind of thing."
Fraser started and stopped a few sentences before picking one. "That's a myth, Ray, one of many about the RCMP. Turnbull is from Guelph, where dogsleds are rare. If we needed someone to drive a tractor…."
Comments 6
"I'm in jail, Ray." Fraser sounded like this was a normal thing to be doing.
Ray just went with it. "How'd that happen?"
"I couldn't let Turnbull be arrested alone, Ray. Jail is no place for an innocent like him."
Great. Only he would want to be arrested. "What did you do?" It came out more like a threat than a question.
"I'd rather not say."
"I'm gonna find out when I come down there."
"Yes, I expect so."
"Confess now and I'll go easy on you."
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"Benny, how long we been partners? You can tell me anything."
Fraser adjusted his pencil cup on his desk, then lined up his stapler next to it. Ray was about to throw something as Fraser then tested the dampness of the soil in his office plant. Finally, Fraser folded his hands on the desk and looked up at him.
"You should know that I've been keeping a secret from you."
"Yeah?" Ray felt a cold sweat break out in his armpits. He tightened his grip on his overcoat, shaking a little.
"I've…I'm in love with you, Ray."
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"Fraser, what are you talking about?"
"Catullus, translating Sappho."
"What?"
"It's about love, Ray."
"Oh. Really? Let's hear it again."
"Ray."
"What? I didn't get it. I wanna hear it again. Tell me. C'mon."
"It wouldn't be the same."
"Of course it would."
"It wouldn't, Ray. A repetition is never the same as the original."
"Alright, fine, then tell me why you said it. And what it's supposed to mean."
"Er..."
"Fraser."
"I've…I'm in love with you, Ray."
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Ray goggled. That...was not what he'd been expecting. Ray didn't like surprises. On the other hand, it was a lot better than what he'd been expecting. "You are?"
Fraser coughed. "Yes, Ray."
Ray started to grin. "You know, Fraser, when I said 'You can tell me anything,' I really meant 'You can tell me anything, but maybe work is not the best place for certain revelations.'"
"Oh," Fraser said, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "I apologize for not immediately taking your meaning, Ray."
"We did work overtime on the Carlotti case yesterday."
"Yes, Ray. I believe you've clocked a number of hours of overtime this week."
"So whaddaya say we head out early today?"
Fraser looked torn. "I--but--"
"I'll leave my cell phone on," Ray compromised.
"Let's go."
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“You did what?
“A lascivious act, Ray. Of the type that is still forbidden under the current Criminal Code.”
“Pull my other one, Fraser.”
“Your other…er, what do you want me to pull, Ray?”
“Oh, God. Look. Just sit tight and don’t pull anything. Do not pull anything, do not look crosseyed at anyone, and for Chrissakes do not tell anyone an Inuit story. Or any story. No stories!”
“Oh. Er.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ray ran an aggravated hand through his hair. Even his spikes were feeling kind of wilted.
“Well, I’m afraid I already may have related a small anecdote about a Mountie who tore his jodhpurs while, well…” Ray could hear Fraser scratching his eyebrow all the way from whatever jail he was in. “Well, that’s not important. What is important is that I’m currently in jail, and I’m hoping you’d be so kind as to bail me out. And Turnbull, of course.”
“Do I dare ask what he did, Fraser?”
“Well, I’d…” Ray heard the eyebrow-scratching noise again. “I’d ( ... )
Reply
"Not that I'm not aware of Turnbull's many," Fraser cleared his throat before continuing, "charms, but why do you want to invite him along on our quest?"
"Well, the more Mounties the better, right? I mean, you guys all get lessons in this kind of thing."
Fraser started and stopped a few sentences before picking one. "That's a myth, Ray, one of many about the RCMP. Turnbull is from Guelph, where dogsleds are rare. If we needed someone to drive a tractor…."
Reply
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