The rain beat down around her, blood streamed down her arms and face as she sank to her knees. Wynn glared at her opponent through the haze of blood; grimacing as he smiled and began to advance
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So it took me awhile...you'll live.peter_gibbonsDecember 18 2007, 02:18:55 UTC
I get what you were doing, and yes, I could follow it fine. The one part that threw me for a moment was the paragraph from the viewpoint of the woman Wynn was guarding (the paragraph starting with "She had watched Wynn go down...") I think the best thing to do, to signify a significant shift in the action, would be to press the Enter key an extra time to leave more space. The other changes in perspective seemed natural, but there was a quite a jump into that paragraph. The extra space could make that more clear. Or, as I've sometimes seen, some symbol in the middle of the page before the next section. You know, like a fleur de lis or something
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