(no subject)
This is a little something I started last night.
Pride and arrogance lead to the fall of a man. The false belief you can achieve anything by yourself has never been proven true at any point. Men take their petty works and push it all together like a child trying to build a sand castle. We proclaim to the heavens “Look, I’ve created a mountain.” Apparently inability to take a hint should accompany pride and arrogance. But there are those who can’t quite grasp this concept, even as you are reading this you are still shaking your head, those sitting near you may think you are having a seizure, some may comment on how well your “Ted Kennedy at the state of union address” impression is. Moving back on track, some must learn the hard way, I was among those. It’s amazing how the impact of a fall to the bottom can change a man’s life. The taste of dirt was almost invigorating. Among my peers I was finally exposed. I was demoted to bottom feeder of the tank. Fellow colleagues were gone and friend’s disappeared. But their reason was just. I was quickly knocked from my spot on the corporate ladder and was embraced by spit and vicious comments that assisted my fall. (all of which I deserved) But the fall wasn’t as bad as depicted. I ended up where I had been mentally for so many years. At least now I could honestly call the single pair of clothes on my back “mine”. Gone are the days of stepping on others to get what I want. At first it started out as just business, you know? The strongest survive, the weak ones crumble and you stand on top of them triumphantly. Stack your victims up on top of each other until you get to the top. “Hey its just business” is what they told me. Which for a while keeps a guilty man’s conscience clear. Or does it? Can you ever really be oblivious to what you are doing? This theory went well when it went my way. When I was the one puffing on the cigar. But any moment you could stumble. And often times there is no getting back up, your down for the count. You enjoy the fresh taste of the earth as someone bashes your head into it and takes what once was yours. Keep in mind this is the “fair way” to play the game. But I didn’t want to play the fair way. I put myself here, this was my kingdom and no one was going to come remotely close to it. I keep those I loved apart from me, paranoia began to soak in and I was like a crack addict, holding on to my stash. My eyes unsteady and my head rapidly moving in search for intruders, those who would use any vicious tactics to take me down. I was in to deep. The fancy cars and the majestic lifestyle corrupted me. I couldn’t afford for anything to happen. I had to support my wife and my kids, a lame excuse I know. I avoided them constantly, making money and avoiding the household was like killing to birds with one stone. Dishing out money for them ate away at me; they were a stumbling block to my success. How was I to achieve what I was truly capable of with these leeches attached to me? Looking for free handouts.
I put my favorite American motto to work “Every man for himself” So what if I burned a few bridges, those people would vanish into filth and drown in the internal abyss known as poverty. I never once honestly regretted the decisions that I made. I cannot quite explain what came over me. Its as if a demon indwelled in me carrying along a secrete agenda. I wouldn’t listen or heed the advice given to me. I was preoccupied, my ears covered my headphone blaring greed and selfishness, among other things, into my mind.
Pride and arrogance lead to the fall of a man. The false belief you can achieve anything by yourself has never been proven true at any point. Men take their petty works and push it all together like a child trying to build a sand castle. We proclaim to the heavens “Look, I’ve created a mountain.” Apparently inability to take a hint should accompany pride and arrogance. But there are those who can’t quite grasp this concept, even as you are reading this you are still shaking your head, those sitting near you may think you are having a seizure, some may comment on how well your “Ted Kennedy at the state of union address” impression is. Moving back on track, some must learn the hard way, I was among those. It’s amazing how the impact of a fall to the bottom can change a man’s life. The taste of dirt was almost invigorating. Among my peers I was finally exposed. I was demoted to bottom feeder of the tank. Fellow colleagues were gone and friend’s disappeared. But their reason was just. I was quickly knocked from my spot on the corporate ladder and was embraced by spit and vicious comments that assisted my fall. (all of which I deserved) But the fall wasn’t as bad as depicted. I ended up where I had been mentally for so many years. At least now I could honestly call the single pair of clothes on my back “mine”. Gone are the days of stepping on others to get what I want. At first it started out as just business, you know? The strongest survive, the weak ones crumble and you stand on top of them triumphantly. Stack your victims up on top of each other until you get to the top. “Hey its just business” is what they told me. Which for a while keeps a guilty man’s conscience clear. Or does it? Can you ever really be oblivious to what you are doing? This theory went well when it went my way. When I was the one puffing on the cigar. But any moment you could stumble. And often times there is no getting back up, your down for the count. You enjoy the fresh taste of the earth as someone bashes your head into it and takes what once was yours. Keep in mind this is the “fair way” to play the game. But I didn’t want to play the fair way. I put myself here, this was my kingdom and no one was going to come remotely close to it. I keep those I loved apart from me, paranoia began to soak in and I was like a crack addict, holding on to my stash. My eyes unsteady and my head rapidly moving in search for intruders, those who would use any vicious tactics to take me down. I was in to deep. The fancy cars and the majestic lifestyle corrupted me. I couldn’t afford for anything to happen. I had to support my wife and my kids, a lame excuse I know. I avoided them constantly, making money and avoiding the household was like killing to birds with one stone. Dishing out money for them ate away at me; they were a stumbling block to my success. How was I to achieve what I was truly capable of with these leeches attached to me? Looking for free handouts.
I put my favorite American motto to work “Every man for himself” So what if I burned a few bridges, those people would vanish into filth and drown in the internal abyss known as poverty. I never once honestly regretted the decisions that I made. I cannot quite explain what came over me. Its as if a demon indwelled in me carrying along a secrete agenda. I wouldn’t listen or heed the advice given to me. I was preoccupied, my ears covered my headphone blaring greed and selfishness, among other things, into my mind.