A new year's gift to myself
I haven't written PWP in a while, but I sort of had to write this one because no one else will. I'm probably the only one who not only likes Lucas but likes the idea of a House/Cuddy/Lucas threesome. So this is for me, and anyone else who wants to dip their toes in the 'dark' side ;-)
It wasn’t the welcome he’d been expecting, House thought to himself as Cuddy glared at him. Okay, that was the welcome he’d expected but the first part of the welcome, the part where Cuddy greeted the opening door in nothing but a sheer black peignoir, a tiny black lace bra and thong, and sky-high strappy black heels--that was the part he hadn’t expected. Lucas obviously hadn’t expected it either. Only a stupid man would bring home his rival if he knew his woman was going to great him dressed like that and while Lucas was a bit odd, he was far from stupid.
“You what?” Cuddy repeated. She’d hastily grabbed a throw from the couch and wrapped it around her. It hid some of her more valuable assets but it barely reached her ass. Every inch of her legs was available for House’s perusal and Cuddy’s scowl did nothing to dissuade him. He wagged his eyebrows at her, a faint but undeniably smug grin on his face.
“I invited him to dinner.” Lucas did his best to look completely oblivious to the consequences of his actions. The hell of it was, House couldn’t read him well enough to know if he really was that oblivious or if it was one of the disguises he was usually so bad at.
“What would possess you to do such a thing?”
“It’s perfect. Rachel’s at your mom’s for the weekend so we have the house to ourselves.”
“I had plans for having the house to ourselves,” Cuddy retorted. “But now we’ve got the House to ourselves.”
“We’ll have time for your plans,” Lucas said confidently. House didn’t know if the faint flush on Lucas’ neck was embarrassment or arousal but the fullness across the groin area was undeniably the latter. House knew because he had the same situation going on and Cuddy’s display wasn’t even aimed at him.
“Trust me,” Lucas said, doing his best to placate Cuddy. “If you really want House to leave us alone, this is the way to do it.”
“By having dinner with him?” Cuddy grabbed a glass of wine from the dining room table and gulped back half the deep red liquid. She has her own flush going on…and down and--if he’s not mistaken--sort of over. House thought it was probably embarrassment but he hoped there might be a slight hint of arousal. In an effort to help that along, he solicitously refilled her glass from the bottle standing next to a tray of finger foods.
“I wasn’t planning on dinner,” she told Lucas, waving at the bite-sized pieces of cheese and the grapes and the fresh strawberries and the rich chocolates. She hadn’t planned on dinner, per se, but she’d obviously had plans for eating. House suppressed a pang of jealousy because he thought he could turn this to his advantage.
“Inviting him to dinner shows I’m not threatened by him,” Lucas explained. “It’ll prove to him you’re not interested.”
“Dinner might work, but the best way to prove that is to sleep with both of us,” House suggested. Lucas and Cuddy both turned on him with expressions of flat disbelief. Lucas was beginning to clue in that House’s plan wasn’t even close to what he’d thought it was.
And Cuddy...Cuddy just grabbed her glass again and took a healthy drink. “I’ve already slept with both of you.”
“Not in a side by side comparison,” House said.
Cuddy stomped over to a drawer in the china hutch, the bottom curve of her ass swaying temptingly just under the edge of the throw. She grabbed a broken ruler from the drawer and waved it at them. “If the two of you insist on having this pissing contest, just whip it out and be done with it.”
“Going to need a bigger ruler,” both House and Lucas said immediately.
Cuddy threw the ruler down on the table in disgust. “No, you won’t. Either of you.”
“I hit that first,” House said smugly, reminding Lucas the reason Cuddy knew they wouldn’t need a bigger ruler was that he’d won their race by default. It might have been twenty years ago but he’d still been first.
“I hit that more than once,” Lucas said, quietly trumping House’s play.
“I’m going to hit both of you if you don’t quit,” Cuddy interjected. She grabbed the bottle of wine, already half empty, and poured herself another glass.
The flush on her cheeks was becoming more pronounced and House felt a strong need to find the culprit: wine, anger, or something else entirely. So he pressed further. “But I was first.”
“Oh, please,” Cuddy muttered. “You weren’t even close to being ‘first’.”
“You only slept with her once.” Lucas pursed his lips, ignoring Cuddy’s sidebars. “That’s probably an issue for you--you’re one and done.”
“If you do it right, you only need once,” House said, his voice beginning to rise.
“That’s it,” Cuddy muttered. She grabbed the wine bottle and several of the chocolates and marched off to the living room. House would deny he could be led by his dick but that seemed to be pretty much what got him moving. His only consolation was that Lucas wasn’t faring any better.
“I used to think it would be exciting to have two men fighting over me,” Cuddy said, turning just inside the living room door to point the bottle accusingly at both of them. “It’s not.”
“He’s not fighting for you,” Lucas said dismissively. “He’s just fighting with me.”
“And suddenly, my odds of ending up in Cuddy’s bed are better than yours,” House said, grinning like a shark.
“Don’t bet on it.”
“Lisa.” Lucas approached her and wrapped one arm around her waist while plucking the wine bottle from her hand with the other. “I’m sorry. I would never have brought him home if I’d known you had other plans but.... I thought if he could see us together, being happy, not needing him, he’d finally get the hint and leave us alone.”
“He’s done nothing but try to break us up and you’re still trying to placate him?”
“I feel for the guy,” Lucas said earnestly. “It’s got to be hard at his age.”
“My age?” House interrupted in a tone that threatened verbal if not physical violence.
“Sure,” Lucas said, waving the wine bottle. “Humans are hard-wired to look for certain physical traits in their prospective mates, and those physical traits tend to fade and sag and wrinkle as we age.”
“Such as?”
“Hair. I mean, it’s got be difficult to have more hair on your ass than you have on your head.” Lucas paused thoughtfully as House stared at him with the expression of cat eyeing a particularly stupid mouse. Lucas, however, was too lost in his own rambling thoughts to recognize the danger. “You know, that was a bit of unfortunate phrasing, because not many things are hard at your age.”
“I’m not that old,” House argued.
“Screw both of you,” Cuddy snapped before Lucas could respond.
“Okay,” House said.
“What?” Cuddy asked.
“Screw both of us. I already said I’m good with that.”
“Seriously?” Lucas asked. He was definitely beginning to get the hint that House’s plans truly were far more devious than he’d suspected. Actually, House was getting the hint, too. His original plan had just been to annoy both of them over dinner. But this could work.
“What have I got to lose?” House pointed out. “If I put in a poor showing, the worst I get is a night with Cuddy. But if you lose….”
“I won’t lose.”
“Care to put your money where your mouth is?” House grinned. “Or put it where your mouth will be?”
“That’s crass,” Lucas said, shaking his head. “I can’t bet on my relationship with Lisa.”
“But you’re okay with me sleeping with him?” Cuddy asked, suddenly interrupting.
“Well....” Lucas gave a sheepish shrug. “It’s not like he hasn’t seen you naked before.”
“Twenty years ago.” Cuddy reached for her glass again but House pulled it out of her reach.
“Tell me you it’s not one of your dirty little fantasies,” House challenged.
“Sleeping with you and Lucas?”
“A threesome. Guys fantasize about it all the time.” House nodded toward Lucas. “I’m sure your private dick has conjured up a few mental images of you and…some other woman.” House shrugged. “Mine was you and Amber, because if anyone could own that bitch, it would be you. And it would be hot.”
“You’re insane.”
“Not anymore,” House said. “Got a certificate and everything.”
“Fantasies are perfectly normal,” Lucas added, not entirely reluctantly.
“Sleeping with two men who want to kill each other is not my fantasy.” Cuddy grabbed her wine glass from House and pulled away from Lucas, the throw she’d draped over herself slipping to the ground.
“I don’t want to kill him.”
“Neither do I. I just want him to go away,” House said, distracted by the sight of Cuddy’s barely clothed body. “It doesn’t necessarily have to be in a pine box.”
Cuddy stared at both of them. Then she turned on her heel and marched out of the room. House’s eyes lingered on the globes of Cuddy’s ass bobbing a hypnotic rhythm down the hall. “That,” he said wistfully, “...is a thing of beauty.”
“Yeah,” Lucas said, equally distracted. He cringed at the sound of the bedroom door slamming shut, knocked out of his reverie. “However, my agreement with your observation should not be construed as encouragement for you to continue ogling my girlfriend’s ass.”
“Interesting, though,” House mused. Lucas looked at him, questioning. “She’s more upset about me seeing her twenty years after seeing her at twenty than she is about the idea of sex.”
“I really don’t think vanity is the primary objection,” Lucas said.
House absently swung his cane, thinking. “No, I think it’s vanity. And the idea she shouldn’t want both of us. She likes the idea, though. She actually likes the idea of having us both.”
“She said no.”
“Her lips said no, but her nipples said yessssssssss. We just have to find a way to get her
nipples and lips in sync. Or failing that, my lips and her nipples.”
“She likes the idea of two men fighting for her, making love to her.... She doesn’t like being taken for granted.” Lucas looked at House. “She’s mad because we’re just using her as a tool in our pissing contest.”
“That sounds kind of kinky.” House shrugged. He had no philosophical opposition to kink, provided he got his turn. “You’re right. We just have to use our fight to prove our masculinity as a tool to please her.”
“Yeah....” Lucas still needed a smidgen more convincing. “But why would I do this?”
“Because you want to prove you’re not threatened by me. That you’re not afraid Cuddy’s going to come to her senses and jump into my bed.”
“She already came to her senses, right about the time you lost yours,” Lucas said. He sounded confident enough but House didn’t know if he was confident enough to proceed. Lucas jammed his hands in his pockets, staring at the bedroom door. “But if she says no....”
“Then I’m gone.” House drew an X over his heart...but he had the fingers of his other hand crossed behind his back. It never hurt to leave himself an out. “Now get in there and convince your girlfriend she needs to prove she can handle two men at once.”
Lucas gave House one last suspicious look, then he shuffled down the hall and breached the barrier of the bedroom door, House trying to hide behind him as he followed. Cuddy was standing near the bed, her back to the door. Her shoulders tensed when it opened but Lucas didn’t falter. He went straight to her, walking around to place himself directly in her line of vision.
“You don’t really want to go to bed alone, do you?” Lucas asked, looking contrite.
Cuddy glared at him for a moment, her eyes retaining a sharp edge even when her expression began to soften. “Why do you let him goad you like this?”
“Because I understand how he feels.” Lucas pulled her to him, one hand sliding down to the line of her thong over her hip, the other cupping around her neck and guiding her mouth to his. “I understand why he wants you. Why he’s willing to do almost anything to be with you.”
Cuddy fell into the kiss, her hands sliding up his chest and around his shoulders. “What the hell?” she yelped when two more hands suddenly appeared, big and warm and cupping her breasts. She stiffened but that only pressed her more firmly back against House. She leaned forward against Lucas but House simply pressed closer, squeezing her between them.
“Don’t pretend you don’t like the idea,” House murmured against her neck, making her shiver.
“It’s wrong,” she whispered against Lucas’ mouth, her breath catching as House rolled her nipples between his thumb and forefinger.
“Not if we all agree,” Lucas said.
“It’s not cheating if he’s here,” House pointed out.
“But....”
“If sex was the deciding factor, you would’ve been with him a long time ago,” Lucas said. He slid his hands under the peignoir, slipping it from her shoulders. “I trust you. And if you want this, I’m okay with it.”
“I’m not a bone for you two mutts to fight over,” she said. She could feel the evidence of Lucas’ desire against her belly and House’s against her ass. The thought took her breath away and she involuntarily rocked her hips, first forward and then back. She smiled as House let out a little gasp of his own. Lucas wiggled his eyebrows in response. He cupped both hands on her ass and lifted her, her legs wrapping around his waist.
“Show off,” House muttered as Lucas carried her to the bed. He didn’t waste time obsessing over Lucas’ physical abilities, though. He slugged back the rest of the wine from Cuddy’s glass and began shucking his clothes before he could lose his nerve.
Cuddy laughed softly at something Lucas said as he lowered her to the bed. They got lost in their own little conversation for a moment and both startled when House reminded them of his presence by crawling onto the bed next to her. Lucas took a moment to process the image of his nearly naked girlfriend on the bed next to his completely naked rival. Then he quickly began tearing his clothes off.
House ignored him. Despite Cuddy’s accusation, he didn’t want to make any actual, physical comparison with the younger man. Instead, he busied himself divesting Cuddy of the scraps of lace she called lingerie. Her breasts weren’t as perky as they’d been in college, the curve of her hip fuller, the plane of her abdomen softer, but she made getting older look damn good.
He didn’t have much time to look because Lucas was back and then both men feasted on her body. Whatever objections she’d had, they seemed to die on tremulous sighs as two mouths and four hands roamed everywhere. House’s only objection was bumping into Lucas as he traveled the slopes and hollows of her body. At one point, they banged noses just below her belly button and they locked eyes, each demanding the right of way.
“Play nice or you’re both leaving,” Cuddy warned, although the breathless anticipation in her voice took some of the sting out of her threat. “And don’t think I’m not aware you’re just trying to outdo each other.”
“And don’t think we don’t know you’re enjoying it,” House retorted. He wanted her to enjoy him, though, so he decided on a way to get Cuddy all to himself. He gripped her around the waist and pulled her over as he rolled onto his back. She let out a surprised squawk as she found herself rather awkwardly seated across his pelvis. Showing that ability to make the best of any situation he admired so much, she simply adjusted her position until she was straddling his hips, his cock pressed between their bodies.
House hooked his hand around her neck and pulled her down to kiss him. She rolled her hips, providing delicious friction as he plunged his tongue deep in her mouth. He sucked at her tongue, grunting as the movement of her hips made him want to be in her, not just under her. He released her from the kiss, taking a sharp gasp of air. Then a small, square packet landed on his chest. He scowled as he picked up the condom. He should’ve known Lucas would find some way to try and kill the mood. “Afraid my guys will be more vigorous than your guys?”
“As much as I’m sure you’d enjoy an appearance on Jerry Springer...,” Lucas said, one eyebrow arched as Cuddy snatched the condom from House’s fingers and ripped open the wrapper. “We’re not doing the ‘who’s the daddy?’ thing.”
House response was limited to a strangled groan as Cuddy’s hand squeezed around him, smoothing the condom snugly along his length. The sound she made as she lowered herself onto him was low and primal. House would’ve gloated over that but he was too busy etching that sound on his brain for the nights he’d need something to drown out Wilson’s whispered soliloquies to his dead girlfriend.
House closed his eyes, reveling in the hot, slick pressure on his cock. He felt the mattress dip near his legs but he didn’t open them again until he heard a small, helpless sound from Cuddy. Lucas knelt behind her, his legs straddling both hers and House’s. His hands were caressing her breasts as he kissed behind the angle of her jaw. House almost protested; this was supposed to be his turn. He kept his silence, though, because making Cuddy sound like that was also part of the agenda.
Cuddy rode his dick, murmuring as Lucas’s hands played across her body. House reached around and grabbed the smooth cheeks of her ass, pulling her hard against him as she rose and fell.
“Cuddy,” House said hoarsely.
She opened her eyes, looking down at him through heavy lids, her eyes dark and unfocused with arousal. Lucas slid his hand down over her belly and drew his finger over her clit. House felt her tighten around him and he groaned. “Cuddy.”
She let out a soft cry, pushing against the twin stimulations of House’s cock and Lucas’ finger. Her breath strangled in her throat and her hips moved frantically as a sharp pulse of exquisite pleasure washed through her. House let out a helpless shout as her vaginal walls throbbed around him, the contractions forcing him over the edge.
A moment later, House let out an almost pained grunt as she continued to pleasure herself on his cock. Lucas continued to stroke Cuddy’s clit, helping to draw her pleasure out into wave after wave of trembling aftershocks. The way she fluttered around him felt amazing but at the same time it was becoming more than he could stand.
Lucas peered over her shoulder at House, then he lifted Cuddy from House’s flagging erection and guided her to her back. House turned his head to watch as Lucas climbed between her legs and thrust deep. House didn’t know how she could stand the continued stimulation but she just lifted her legs and wrapped them around Lucas. She threw her arms around his shoulders, kissing him with more passion than precision. Their mouths bumped, teeth bruising their lips, tongues tangling sloppily.
Lucas fucked her hard, driving into her in a way House recognized as a need to reestablish his possession of her. Either Cuddy didn’t realize Lucas had gone caveman on her or she didn’t care. Hell, maybe deep down where she kept her threesome fantasies, she even liked it. Low moans escaped her throat as he shifted back, kneeling between her legs and holding her hips up as he thrust powerfully. She threw her hands over her head, knotting her hands into the sheets as her back arched.
Deciding Lucas wasn’t the only one who could bend the rules to suit his purpose, House shifted to his side and lowered his mouth to her breast. The nipples were hard, contracted with arousal, and he sucked one between his teeth, biting down gently.
“Fuck,” Cuddy moaned, her hands jerking against the sheets as she arched her chest even further. A violent shudder shook her body and House tugged at her nipple, pulling it with his teeth as another orgasm wracked her body. He loosened his grip, licking gently over her breast as he waited for Lucas to finish. Only he didn’t. Damn him and his fifteen fewer years, but he simply slowed down until he was taking long, slow, deliberate strokes.
Cuddy made a low humming sound of pleasure. Her face, her entire body was slack, flushed and sweaty, and House thought she looked amazing. “I always knew you were insatiable,” he whispered against her ear. A loose, smug smile crossed her face and he saw the same smugness reflected on Lucas’ face. His smile wasn’t quite so loose, though, because his body was thrumming with need.
“Can you make him come?” House asked her, pinching her nipple between his fingers. He walked his fingers down the ladder of her ribs, gliding gently over her belly and pressing the tip of his finger against her clit, just an inch from where Lucas’ cock slid wetly between her folds. “Can you make him beg?”
Cuddy shuddered. “Lucas.” Her voice was little more than a hoarse whisper. Lucas closed his eyes, body tense with obvious desire. He held out for only a moment before his hips jerked involuntarily. House turned his attention to her breasts again, licking, sucking, biting them as they shook with the power of Lucas’ thrusts.
“Lisa.” Lucas’ voice was harsh, pleading.
“Harder,” Cuddy murmured. House didn’t know if she was talking to him or to Lucas but they both redoubled their efforts. Lucas was pounding into her, the wet slap of their bodies filling the room. House in the meanwhile gorged himself on her breasts, sucking as much of them in his mouth as he could, scraping his teeth over the soft skin. He reached down and wrapped one hand around her thigh, pulling her leg further up and out. She cried out as it changed the angle of penetration and Lucas’s cock rammed against sensitive tissues.
Lucas groaned hard and gave a few more erratic thrusts before sagging onto her. Cuddy’s body shook, fine tremors in her muscles signaling the orgasm’s slow and reluctant release of her body. House ran his fingers lightly over her shoulder, feeling the delicate shivers, once Lucas finally managed to roll off her.
House stretched out at her other side, nuzzling at the perfumed skin of her neck. “You’re pathetic,” he told Lucas as the other man spread his arms and legs in sated, sleepy sprawl.
“Yeah,” Lucas said, supremely unconcerned. “Totally pathetic.”
~~**~~
“House.”
He turned to see her walking down the dark hall on bare feet. She hastily pulled her robe closed around her but not before he caught a glimpse of curves and shadows. His dick gave an approving twitch and even though that was all it was good for at the moment, he was grateful it hadn’t lost the ability to appreciate a really nice rack.
“Your boyfriend is crazy,” he said as he pulled on his jacket. “Either that or he’s so crazy in love with you he really will give you anything you want.”
Cuddy’s expression had what he hoped was a touch of regret and not pity. “This can’t happen again.”
The fact she needed to say it made House believe she wanted it to happen again. He played along, though. He could be patient if he had to be. “That’s okay,” he said. “I’ve got jerk off material to last me the next twenty years.” He gave her an affectionate leer. “See you again in 2029?”
“And I don’t want to hear anything about this at the hospital,” she said, smiling.
“Then you’d better stay away from the diagnostics office. And the cafeteria. And the morgue. And the clinic.” House’s voice trailed off as he opened the front door.
“House.” Cuddy’s voice was soft but demanding. He turned to look at her. “Good night.”
“’Night, Cuddy.”
It wasn’t the welcome he’d been expecting, House thought to himself as Cuddy glared at him. Okay, that was the welcome he’d expected but the first part of the welcome, the part where Cuddy greeted the opening door in nothing but a sheer black peignoir, a tiny black lace bra and thong, and sky-high strappy black heels--that was the part he hadn’t expected. Lucas obviously hadn’t expected it either. Only a stupid man would bring home his rival if he knew his woman was going to great him dressed like that and while Lucas was a bit odd, he was far from stupid.
“You what?” Cuddy repeated. She’d hastily grabbed a throw from the couch and wrapped it around her. It hid some of her more valuable assets but it barely reached her ass. Every inch of her legs was available for House’s perusal and Cuddy’s scowl did nothing to dissuade him. He wagged his eyebrows at her, a faint but undeniably smug grin on his face.
“I invited him to dinner.” Lucas did his best to look completely oblivious to the consequences of his actions. The hell of it was, House couldn’t read him well enough to know if he really was that oblivious or if it was one of the disguises he was usually so bad at.
“What would possess you to do such a thing?”
“It’s perfect. Rachel’s at your mom’s for the weekend so we have the house to ourselves.”
“I had plans for having the house to ourselves,” Cuddy retorted. “But now we’ve got the House to ourselves.”
“We’ll have time for your plans,” Lucas said confidently. House didn’t know if the faint flush on Lucas’ neck was embarrassment or arousal but the fullness across the groin area was undeniably the latter. House knew because he had the same situation going on and Cuddy’s display wasn’t even aimed at him.
“Trust me,” Lucas said, doing his best to placate Cuddy. “If you really want House to leave us alone, this is the way to do it.”
“By having dinner with him?” Cuddy grabbed a glass of wine from the dining room table and gulped back half the deep red liquid. She has her own flush going on…and down and--if he’s not mistaken--sort of over. House thought it was probably embarrassment but he hoped there might be a slight hint of arousal. In an effort to help that along, he solicitously refilled her glass from the bottle standing next to a tray of finger foods.
“I wasn’t planning on dinner,” she told Lucas, waving at the bite-sized pieces of cheese and the grapes and the fresh strawberries and the rich chocolates. She hadn’t planned on dinner, per se, but she’d obviously had plans for eating. House suppressed a pang of jealousy because he thought he could turn this to his advantage.
“Inviting him to dinner shows I’m not threatened by him,” Lucas explained. “It’ll prove to him you’re not interested.”
“Dinner might work, but the best way to prove that is to sleep with both of us,” House suggested. Lucas and Cuddy both turned on him with expressions of flat disbelief. Lucas was beginning to clue in that House’s plan wasn’t even close to what he’d thought it was.
And Cuddy...Cuddy just grabbed her glass again and took a healthy drink. “I’ve already slept with both of you.”
“Not in a side by side comparison,” House said.
Cuddy stomped over to a drawer in the china hutch, the bottom curve of her ass swaying temptingly just under the edge of the throw. She grabbed a broken ruler from the drawer and waved it at them. “If the two of you insist on having this pissing contest, just whip it out and be done with it.”
“Going to need a bigger ruler,” both House and Lucas said immediately.
Cuddy threw the ruler down on the table in disgust. “No, you won’t. Either of you.”
“I hit that first,” House said smugly, reminding Lucas the reason Cuddy knew they wouldn’t need a bigger ruler was that he’d won their race by default. It might have been twenty years ago but he’d still been first.
“I hit that more than once,” Lucas said, quietly trumping House’s play.
“I’m going to hit both of you if you don’t quit,” Cuddy interjected. She grabbed the bottle of wine, already half empty, and poured herself another glass.
The flush on her cheeks was becoming more pronounced and House felt a strong need to find the culprit: wine, anger, or something else entirely. So he pressed further. “But I was first.”
“Oh, please,” Cuddy muttered. “You weren’t even close to being ‘first’.”
“You only slept with her once.” Lucas pursed his lips, ignoring Cuddy’s sidebars. “That’s probably an issue for you--you’re one and done.”
“If you do it right, you only need once,” House said, his voice beginning to rise.
“That’s it,” Cuddy muttered. She grabbed the wine bottle and several of the chocolates and marched off to the living room. House would deny he could be led by his dick but that seemed to be pretty much what got him moving. His only consolation was that Lucas wasn’t faring any better.
“I used to think it would be exciting to have two men fighting over me,” Cuddy said, turning just inside the living room door to point the bottle accusingly at both of them. “It’s not.”
“He’s not fighting for you,” Lucas said dismissively. “He’s just fighting with me.”
“And suddenly, my odds of ending up in Cuddy’s bed are better than yours,” House said, grinning like a shark.
“Don’t bet on it.”
“Lisa.” Lucas approached her and wrapped one arm around her waist while plucking the wine bottle from her hand with the other. “I’m sorry. I would never have brought him home if I’d known you had other plans but.... I thought if he could see us together, being happy, not needing him, he’d finally get the hint and leave us alone.”
“He’s done nothing but try to break us up and you’re still trying to placate him?”
“I feel for the guy,” Lucas said earnestly. “It’s got to be hard at his age.”
“My age?” House interrupted in a tone that threatened verbal if not physical violence.
“Sure,” Lucas said, waving the wine bottle. “Humans are hard-wired to look for certain physical traits in their prospective mates, and those physical traits tend to fade and sag and wrinkle as we age.”
“Such as?”
“Hair. I mean, it’s got be difficult to have more hair on your ass than you have on your head.” Lucas paused thoughtfully as House stared at him with the expression of cat eyeing a particularly stupid mouse. Lucas, however, was too lost in his own rambling thoughts to recognize the danger. “You know, that was a bit of unfortunate phrasing, because not many things are hard at your age.”
“I’m not that old,” House argued.
“Screw both of you,” Cuddy snapped before Lucas could respond.
“Okay,” House said.
“What?” Cuddy asked.
“Screw both of us. I already said I’m good with that.”
“Seriously?” Lucas asked. He was definitely beginning to get the hint that House’s plans truly were far more devious than he’d suspected. Actually, House was getting the hint, too. His original plan had just been to annoy both of them over dinner. But this could work.
“What have I got to lose?” House pointed out. “If I put in a poor showing, the worst I get is a night with Cuddy. But if you lose….”
“I won’t lose.”
“Care to put your money where your mouth is?” House grinned. “Or put it where your mouth will be?”
“That’s crass,” Lucas said, shaking his head. “I can’t bet on my relationship with Lisa.”
“But you’re okay with me sleeping with him?” Cuddy asked, suddenly interrupting.
“Well....” Lucas gave a sheepish shrug. “It’s not like he hasn’t seen you naked before.”
“Twenty years ago.” Cuddy reached for her glass again but House pulled it out of her reach.
“Tell me you it’s not one of your dirty little fantasies,” House challenged.
“Sleeping with you and Lucas?”
“A threesome. Guys fantasize about it all the time.” House nodded toward Lucas. “I’m sure your private dick has conjured up a few mental images of you and…some other woman.” House shrugged. “Mine was you and Amber, because if anyone could own that bitch, it would be you. And it would be hot.”
“You’re insane.”
“Not anymore,” House said. “Got a certificate and everything.”
“Fantasies are perfectly normal,” Lucas added, not entirely reluctantly.
“Sleeping with two men who want to kill each other is not my fantasy.” Cuddy grabbed her wine glass from House and pulled away from Lucas, the throw she’d draped over herself slipping to the ground.
“I don’t want to kill him.”
“Neither do I. I just want him to go away,” House said, distracted by the sight of Cuddy’s barely clothed body. “It doesn’t necessarily have to be in a pine box.”
Cuddy stared at both of them. Then she turned on her heel and marched out of the room. House’s eyes lingered on the globes of Cuddy’s ass bobbing a hypnotic rhythm down the hall. “That,” he said wistfully, “...is a thing of beauty.”
“Yeah,” Lucas said, equally distracted. He cringed at the sound of the bedroom door slamming shut, knocked out of his reverie. “However, my agreement with your observation should not be construed as encouragement for you to continue ogling my girlfriend’s ass.”
“Interesting, though,” House mused. Lucas looked at him, questioning. “She’s more upset about me seeing her twenty years after seeing her at twenty than she is about the idea of sex.”
“I really don’t think vanity is the primary objection,” Lucas said.
House absently swung his cane, thinking. “No, I think it’s vanity. And the idea she shouldn’t want both of us. She likes the idea, though. She actually likes the idea of having us both.”
“She said no.”
“Her lips said no, but her nipples said yessssssssss. We just have to find a way to get her
nipples and lips in sync. Or failing that, my lips and her nipples.”
“She likes the idea of two men fighting for her, making love to her.... She doesn’t like being taken for granted.” Lucas looked at House. “She’s mad because we’re just using her as a tool in our pissing contest.”
“That sounds kind of kinky.” House shrugged. He had no philosophical opposition to kink, provided he got his turn. “You’re right. We just have to use our fight to prove our masculinity as a tool to please her.”
“Yeah....” Lucas still needed a smidgen more convincing. “But why would I do this?”
“Because you want to prove you’re not threatened by me. That you’re not afraid Cuddy’s going to come to her senses and jump into my bed.”
“She already came to her senses, right about the time you lost yours,” Lucas said. He sounded confident enough but House didn’t know if he was confident enough to proceed. Lucas jammed his hands in his pockets, staring at the bedroom door. “But if she says no....”
“Then I’m gone.” House drew an X over his heart...but he had the fingers of his other hand crossed behind his back. It never hurt to leave himself an out. “Now get in there and convince your girlfriend she needs to prove she can handle two men at once.”
Lucas gave House one last suspicious look, then he shuffled down the hall and breached the barrier of the bedroom door, House trying to hide behind him as he followed. Cuddy was standing near the bed, her back to the door. Her shoulders tensed when it opened but Lucas didn’t falter. He went straight to her, walking around to place himself directly in her line of vision.
“You don’t really want to go to bed alone, do you?” Lucas asked, looking contrite.
Cuddy glared at him for a moment, her eyes retaining a sharp edge even when her expression began to soften. “Why do you let him goad you like this?”
“Because I understand how he feels.” Lucas pulled her to him, one hand sliding down to the line of her thong over her hip, the other cupping around her neck and guiding her mouth to his. “I understand why he wants you. Why he’s willing to do almost anything to be with you.”
Cuddy fell into the kiss, her hands sliding up his chest and around his shoulders. “What the hell?” she yelped when two more hands suddenly appeared, big and warm and cupping her breasts. She stiffened but that only pressed her more firmly back against House. She leaned forward against Lucas but House simply pressed closer, squeezing her between them.
“Don’t pretend you don’t like the idea,” House murmured against her neck, making her shiver.
“It’s wrong,” she whispered against Lucas’ mouth, her breath catching as House rolled her nipples between his thumb and forefinger.
“Not if we all agree,” Lucas said.
“It’s not cheating if he’s here,” House pointed out.
“But....”
“If sex was the deciding factor, you would’ve been with him a long time ago,” Lucas said. He slid his hands under the peignoir, slipping it from her shoulders. “I trust you. And if you want this, I’m okay with it.”
“I’m not a bone for you two mutts to fight over,” she said. She could feel the evidence of Lucas’ desire against her belly and House’s against her ass. The thought took her breath away and she involuntarily rocked her hips, first forward and then back. She smiled as House let out a little gasp of his own. Lucas wiggled his eyebrows in response. He cupped both hands on her ass and lifted her, her legs wrapping around his waist.
“Show off,” House muttered as Lucas carried her to the bed. He didn’t waste time obsessing over Lucas’ physical abilities, though. He slugged back the rest of the wine from Cuddy’s glass and began shucking his clothes before he could lose his nerve.
Cuddy laughed softly at something Lucas said as he lowered her to the bed. They got lost in their own little conversation for a moment and both startled when House reminded them of his presence by crawling onto the bed next to her. Lucas took a moment to process the image of his nearly naked girlfriend on the bed next to his completely naked rival. Then he quickly began tearing his clothes off.
House ignored him. Despite Cuddy’s accusation, he didn’t want to make any actual, physical comparison with the younger man. Instead, he busied himself divesting Cuddy of the scraps of lace she called lingerie. Her breasts weren’t as perky as they’d been in college, the curve of her hip fuller, the plane of her abdomen softer, but she made getting older look damn good.
He didn’t have much time to look because Lucas was back and then both men feasted on her body. Whatever objections she’d had, they seemed to die on tremulous sighs as two mouths and four hands roamed everywhere. House’s only objection was bumping into Lucas as he traveled the slopes and hollows of her body. At one point, they banged noses just below her belly button and they locked eyes, each demanding the right of way.
“Play nice or you’re both leaving,” Cuddy warned, although the breathless anticipation in her voice took some of the sting out of her threat. “And don’t think I’m not aware you’re just trying to outdo each other.”
“And don’t think we don’t know you’re enjoying it,” House retorted. He wanted her to enjoy him, though, so he decided on a way to get Cuddy all to himself. He gripped her around the waist and pulled her over as he rolled onto his back. She let out a surprised squawk as she found herself rather awkwardly seated across his pelvis. Showing that ability to make the best of any situation he admired so much, she simply adjusted her position until she was straddling his hips, his cock pressed between their bodies.
House hooked his hand around her neck and pulled her down to kiss him. She rolled her hips, providing delicious friction as he plunged his tongue deep in her mouth. He sucked at her tongue, grunting as the movement of her hips made him want to be in her, not just under her. He released her from the kiss, taking a sharp gasp of air. Then a small, square packet landed on his chest. He scowled as he picked up the condom. He should’ve known Lucas would find some way to try and kill the mood. “Afraid my guys will be more vigorous than your guys?”
“As much as I’m sure you’d enjoy an appearance on Jerry Springer...,” Lucas said, one eyebrow arched as Cuddy snatched the condom from House’s fingers and ripped open the wrapper. “We’re not doing the ‘who’s the daddy?’ thing.”
House response was limited to a strangled groan as Cuddy’s hand squeezed around him, smoothing the condom snugly along his length. The sound she made as she lowered herself onto him was low and primal. House would’ve gloated over that but he was too busy etching that sound on his brain for the nights he’d need something to drown out Wilson’s whispered soliloquies to his dead girlfriend.
House closed his eyes, reveling in the hot, slick pressure on his cock. He felt the mattress dip near his legs but he didn’t open them again until he heard a small, helpless sound from Cuddy. Lucas knelt behind her, his legs straddling both hers and House’s. His hands were caressing her breasts as he kissed behind the angle of her jaw. House almost protested; this was supposed to be his turn. He kept his silence, though, because making Cuddy sound like that was also part of the agenda.
Cuddy rode his dick, murmuring as Lucas’s hands played across her body. House reached around and grabbed the smooth cheeks of her ass, pulling her hard against him as she rose and fell.
“Cuddy,” House said hoarsely.
She opened her eyes, looking down at him through heavy lids, her eyes dark and unfocused with arousal. Lucas slid his hand down over her belly and drew his finger over her clit. House felt her tighten around him and he groaned. “Cuddy.”
She let out a soft cry, pushing against the twin stimulations of House’s cock and Lucas’ finger. Her breath strangled in her throat and her hips moved frantically as a sharp pulse of exquisite pleasure washed through her. House let out a helpless shout as her vaginal walls throbbed around him, the contractions forcing him over the edge.
A moment later, House let out an almost pained grunt as she continued to pleasure herself on his cock. Lucas continued to stroke Cuddy’s clit, helping to draw her pleasure out into wave after wave of trembling aftershocks. The way she fluttered around him felt amazing but at the same time it was becoming more than he could stand.
Lucas peered over her shoulder at House, then he lifted Cuddy from House’s flagging erection and guided her to her back. House turned his head to watch as Lucas climbed between her legs and thrust deep. House didn’t know how she could stand the continued stimulation but she just lifted her legs and wrapped them around Lucas. She threw her arms around his shoulders, kissing him with more passion than precision. Their mouths bumped, teeth bruising their lips, tongues tangling sloppily.
Lucas fucked her hard, driving into her in a way House recognized as a need to reestablish his possession of her. Either Cuddy didn’t realize Lucas had gone caveman on her or she didn’t care. Hell, maybe deep down where she kept her threesome fantasies, she even liked it. Low moans escaped her throat as he shifted back, kneeling between her legs and holding her hips up as he thrust powerfully. She threw her hands over her head, knotting her hands into the sheets as her back arched.
Deciding Lucas wasn’t the only one who could bend the rules to suit his purpose, House shifted to his side and lowered his mouth to her breast. The nipples were hard, contracted with arousal, and he sucked one between his teeth, biting down gently.
“Fuck,” Cuddy moaned, her hands jerking against the sheets as she arched her chest even further. A violent shudder shook her body and House tugged at her nipple, pulling it with his teeth as another orgasm wracked her body. He loosened his grip, licking gently over her breast as he waited for Lucas to finish. Only he didn’t. Damn him and his fifteen fewer years, but he simply slowed down until he was taking long, slow, deliberate strokes.
Cuddy made a low humming sound of pleasure. Her face, her entire body was slack, flushed and sweaty, and House thought she looked amazing. “I always knew you were insatiable,” he whispered against her ear. A loose, smug smile crossed her face and he saw the same smugness reflected on Lucas’ face. His smile wasn’t quite so loose, though, because his body was thrumming with need.
“Can you make him come?” House asked her, pinching her nipple between his fingers. He walked his fingers down the ladder of her ribs, gliding gently over her belly and pressing the tip of his finger against her clit, just an inch from where Lucas’ cock slid wetly between her folds. “Can you make him beg?”
Cuddy shuddered. “Lucas.” Her voice was little more than a hoarse whisper. Lucas closed his eyes, body tense with obvious desire. He held out for only a moment before his hips jerked involuntarily. House turned his attention to her breasts again, licking, sucking, biting them as they shook with the power of Lucas’ thrusts.
“Lisa.” Lucas’ voice was harsh, pleading.
“Harder,” Cuddy murmured. House didn’t know if she was talking to him or to Lucas but they both redoubled their efforts. Lucas was pounding into her, the wet slap of their bodies filling the room. House in the meanwhile gorged himself on her breasts, sucking as much of them in his mouth as he could, scraping his teeth over the soft skin. He reached down and wrapped one hand around her thigh, pulling her leg further up and out. She cried out as it changed the angle of penetration and Lucas’s cock rammed against sensitive tissues.
Lucas groaned hard and gave a few more erratic thrusts before sagging onto her. Cuddy’s body shook, fine tremors in her muscles signaling the orgasm’s slow and reluctant release of her body. House ran his fingers lightly over her shoulder, feeling the delicate shivers, once Lucas finally managed to roll off her.
House stretched out at her other side, nuzzling at the perfumed skin of her neck. “You’re pathetic,” he told Lucas as the other man spread his arms and legs in sated, sleepy sprawl.
“Yeah,” Lucas said, supremely unconcerned. “Totally pathetic.”
~~**~~
“House.”
He turned to see her walking down the dark hall on bare feet. She hastily pulled her robe closed around her but not before he caught a glimpse of curves and shadows. His dick gave an approving twitch and even though that was all it was good for at the moment, he was grateful it hadn’t lost the ability to appreciate a really nice rack.
“Your boyfriend is crazy,” he said as he pulled on his jacket. “Either that or he’s so crazy in love with you he really will give you anything you want.”
Cuddy’s expression had what he hoped was a touch of regret and not pity. “This can’t happen again.”
The fact she needed to say it made House believe she wanted it to happen again. He played along, though. He could be patient if he had to be. “That’s okay,” he said. “I’ve got jerk off material to last me the next twenty years.” He gave her an affectionate leer. “See you again in 2029?”
“And I don’t want to hear anything about this at the hospital,” she said, smiling.
“Then you’d better stay away from the diagnostics office. And the cafeteria. And the morgue. And the clinic.” House’s voice trailed off as he opened the front door.
“House.” Cuddy’s voice was soft but demanding. He turned to look at her. “Good night.”
“’Night, Cuddy.”